A Million Pink Roses
by Krazie4Christ
Summary: 26 CHAPTERS ARE UP! This is the story of how Flower Bud Village came to know Christ, and how He affected the villagers. This arrival of good news in the village also brought quite a bit of romance as well. Told from Karen's P.o.V.!
1. PROLOGUE

PROLOGUE  
  
A/N: This is not going to be your typical Christian Harvest Moon fic, ok? Don't categorize it with the others (as good as they are!). I have had this storyline in my head for a really long time, and it will probably take me a really long time to get it out. So, with that said, go ahead and read.  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own a golf-cart, a tennis racket, a purple balloon, or $100. So do you still think I own Harvest Moon?  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
"Hi, Karen." Ann sat down next to me on a pew in Flower Bud's now empty church. It was Sunday afternoon, the invitation hymn had been sung, and the village's inhabitants had flocked out the door to socialize in the bright summer sunshine. But I still sat there, staring at the wooden cross behind the pulpit that had replaced a stone statue of the flower goddess a few years back. "What's the matter?" Ann questioned, nudging me with her elbow.  
  
"I'm just thinking," I said, moving my hand across the cushions of the pew. This church had come such a long way. For years the village had idolized a "goddess." But now, I could smile and think of the God we now worshipped. The real, true God, who sent his one and only Son to die. For us. For us. The two words echoed in my head. It blew my mind that God would do such a thing for such unworthy peoples. Just thinking of the Lord's grace and mercy made me love Him all the more.  
  
Ann ran her hand across the pew as well. "What are you thinking about?" she said after a brief silence.  
  
I looked up at her and smiled. "About how God has touched this village."  
  
Nodding, Ann answered, "I was just thinking earlier this morning. . .about how we found Him. There's a lot more to that story than people know."  
  
I grinned, my mind reeling with scenes of my childhood, teenage years, and other memories. Ann, me, and some of the other villagers our age had been a big part of how Christ washed over Flower Bud. "I love remembering that."  
  
"Me, too," Ann nodded. "It was like a fairy-tale almost."  
  
"The romance, the drama, the angst. . ." I closed my eyes as Ann and I spoke in unison:  
  
"And a million pink roses, as beautiful as they are, could never describe how much I love you."  
  
We smiled at each other, both remembering that sentence, that one sentence, that had changed our lives forever. "Gosh, I love to say that," Ann said.  
  
I nodded and stood up from the pew. "I had better go. Mom will be waiting." My mother was probably waiting outside with Jade, my new baby girl. My husband (who shall remain anonymous because I don't want to give away the story) had just left to go fishing with the guys, and he probably wouldn't get home until supper time.  
  
"Karen, wait," Ann said, standing up and following me to the door just before I left.  
  
"Yeah?" I asked, shouldering my purse.  
  
"I think you should write it all down."  
  
All the thoughts in my head stopped. "Me?" I managed. "Why me?"  
  
"Because you were one of the biggest pieces of the puzzle." Ann looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please, Karen, just do it. I will help you if you need it."  
  
I nodded reluctantly. "I'll try," I said, not entirely sure that I actually would. It was a good idea, though, to write it all down. We could make a book out of it if we really wanted to.  
  
"Today?" Ann asked with her all-too-familiar puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Today?!" I exclaimed. "Gosh-lee, Ann!"  
  
"Ok, maybe not today, but. . .soon right?"  
  
"Soon, I promise." I gave Ann a hug good-bye and walked out the door.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Fifteen minutes later, I was walking into my home with Jade, my baby, in tow. My husband had left a note on the door, saying, "Hey, sweetie! I'm sorry I had to leave church right away, but we can talk about the sermon at dinner, ok? I love you, dear!" I smiled at his note and placed it on the phone table.  
  
I knew Jade was hungry, and so was I, so I fixed myself a sandwich after feeding Jade some baby food. "Do you think I should write it down?" I asked my baby through a mouthful of sandwich.  
  
Jade just looked at her own tiny fingers and wiggled them. But her dazzling green eyes had a sparkle to them; a sparkle that told me I should. I should write down our story.  
  
After gently putting her down in her crib, I kissed my daughter's forehead and tickled her a bit. I handed her a rattle to stick in her mouth before walking over to the computer desk, where I turned on the machine.  
  
"Well," I said aloud. "Here goes nothing."  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Author's Note: I know it was short, but it was just a prologue. The rest of the fic will be what Karen is writing. And believe me, the chapters will get much longer. Please review! Love ya! 


	2. The Beginning

Chapter One: The Beginning  
  
Author's Note: There is an explanation as to why I took so long at the bottom of this chapter! Right now, I'm just going to do the (stinkin') disclaimer and thank my ONE reviewer!  
  
Harvestboy2001: Thank you so much, and great, great job on your Christian HM stories! Can't wait to hear more from you!  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Pleasant sunlight gleamed off the surface of the water. Joyful waves lapped playfully at my heels as I ran across the beach. My best friend, the cute little girl from Green Ranch, chased me with a happy smile and a swinging ponytail. I laughed as I was cornered against the wall. Ann quickly ran forward and touched my arm. "Tag, you're it!" she cried.  
  
I was five years old, and it was good old summertime. No school and no cares for me during this time of year. The sun happily played on my face as I ran as fast as I could after Ann again.  
  
"Hey," Ann cried, stopping. "Karen, there's no tagbacks!"  
  
I set my eyes on the little boy who had come for the summer to stay at his grandfather's farm. He was my age, and a real cutie. His skin was darker and more different than most of the boys in Flower Bud Village. His dark brown hair protruded cutely out of his blue and yellow baseball cap. He was wearing dark orange swim trunks that looked like they had been bought in the city. "What's your name again?" I asked with a childish look of curiousity on my face. It was only the first day of summer, and I'd just met the boy ten minutes ago.  
  
"I won't tell you until you catch me!" he declared, displaying a beautiful set of dazzling teeth in a wide grin.  
  
I turned to Ann, and she shrugged, signalling that she didn't know his name any better than I did. Ann began to laugh, knowing that I would have to chase him. Her cute yellow bathing suit revealed her little naval, and so did my blue one. Ann's belly-button bounced up and down as she laughed childishly.  
  
I smiled, determined to show her that I could catch the boy. I raised my eyebrows at him, and he raised his back. "RAA!" I screamed, and ran madly at him. The boy was quick and eluded me easily.  
  
I giggled. This was the funnest game of tag I'd ever played. Funnest is not a word, but I didn't know that at the time. I just ran after the boy and giggled at the same time. Ann was lying on the glittery sand, laughing and shuffling her feet. The little boy laughed, too, as he ran circles around Ann, who blushed and grinned. We ran circles around her for a long time. The most exciting part of the chase was when the little boy ran into the foamy waves, and I ran in after him. We came out after a while, and it was quite a long time before I tagged him.  
  
When I did tag him, it wasn't just a tag. I tackled him playfully. He was on warm sand on his back, and I was sitting contentedly on his belly, but I didn't let all my weight on him. My knees were on either side of him, and my feet were near his. Both of us laughed hysterically. "So, what is your name?" I asked.  
  
"Jack," he answered. "What's - "  
  
"Ann!" a deep voice interrupted. "Ann, come on home! Dinner's ready!" It was Mr. Green, Ann's father.  
  
"Bye-bye, Karen and...Jack." She skipped away.  
  
"Bye-bye," both Jack and I called after her.  
  
I was still on top of the boy, but he didn't seem to mind. "What's your name?" Jack finished.  
  
"Karen." I didn't know why the boy hadn't known, since Ann had used my name on several occasions during our game. However, I didn't mind repeating it. "My name's Karen."  
  
"Oh, I knew that," he said, as if he really had known.  
  
"No, you didn't," I said.  
  
"Yes, I did," he replied, raising one of his eyebrows. He looked a little comical, and I would've laughed had I not been so caught up in our discussion.  
  
"Nuh-uh!" I almost shouted.  
  
"Yes-huh!" he yelled, easily pushing me off him and onto the sand.  
  
"NO!" I scurried to my feet and leaned forward as I hollered at him, as if it would project my voice more.  
  
"YES!"  
  
Question: How had this turned into a fight?  
  
Solution: It wasn't really a fight. You know little kids! They just scream at each other for kind of a game, and in a matter of seconds, they forget what they are even arguing about.  
  
Well, Jack and I weren't any different.  
  
So a wrestling match ensued. The hot sand clung to my water-coated skin as I rolled around in it, Jack either under me or on top of me the entire ten minutes we wrestled. But it was all fun and games, and both of us forgot we'd even been quarelling. We giggled and laughed, and somehow ended up in the water again. The harsh waves could only interrupt us for two seconds as they slammed tirelessly into our five-year-old bodies. After each wave passed, there was more pushing, dunking, tripping, and most of all, screaming.  
  
"Ok, ok!" I was soon shrieking in surrender. I was getting tired, and I could tell Jack was, too. "You win," I said, heaving big breaths for such a tiny pair of lungs.  
  
Jack grinned evilly.  
  
"For now!" I finished, returning his devilish smile. He was just about to run and jump on me again, but I stopped him with both hands. "No, no!" I said, even though I still wanted to play. I threw a glance at the orange sky. The sun was setting. "I got to go," I concluded sadly.  
  
But the atmosphere was not weighed down as Jack just smiled for a moment. "Ok."  
  
I didn't leave yet, though. "Well, don't you have to go, too? It will be dark soon."  
  
Jack cocked his head a little and thought for a minute. "Guess so," he decided.  
  
I wasn't surprised when he reached forward to clutch my hand as we walked away from the beach. After all, it was only natural for a boy to do that to a girl, right? Besides, we were just five years old.  
  
In order to get to the crossroads, we had to pass Green Ranch. But when we strolled past, Ann wasn't outside. I guessed she was inside eating dinner.  
  
Suddenly my stomach growled. Thinking about dinner had made me hungry. Jack laughed, apparently having heard it. "Are you hungry?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," I said, not seeing why I needed to state the obvious. But I didn't care.  
  
"Me, too."  
  
That was all we said the whole walk to Moonlit Farm. Jack insisted I come inside and visit Pappy for a few minutes. I gave in and walked inside the small house, right into a huge embrace from Jack's grandpa. "Hey, sweetheart!" the old man greeted me happily.  
  
"Hi, Pappy!" I replied as he tucked one of two blond strands of my hair behind my ear with his big, wrinkled hand. "Do you have any candy?" I asked excitedly, rather accustomed to receiving little morsels from the friendly Pappy.  
  
My old friend just chuckled warmly and produced from his overall pocket a red gumball wrapped in plastic. "There you go, sweetheart!" he said kindly, using the same endearment he used every time he referred to me.  
  
"Thank you, Pappy!" I said, jumping up and down as I popped the gum into my mouth swiftly.  
  
"You'd better be heading home, hadn't you?" Pappy said with a raised eyebrow and a glance out the window, which revealed the setting sun.  
  
I nodded and frowned a bit. Jack piped up. "We can play another time, Karen," he said warmly.  
  
I gave in to the irresistable urge to grin from ear to ear. "Bye-bye!" I said. And I pranced out the door.  
  
When I got home, my parents didn't say anything about me almost being late for supper. In fact, they were acting kind of strange. . .being. . .NICE! Nice to ME!  
  
You might be asking, "Well, isn't it NATURAL for parents to be 'nice' to their little daughter?"  
  
And my answer is, "Yeah, but my family was very different."  
  
You see, I was a troublemaker. I had been grounded three times since New Year's, and it was only Summer 1! I had done, as my parents said, "unacceptable things!" Since the first of the year, I had broken full wine bottles on purpose, detached branches off a tree in the vineyard while I was climbing it, purposefully shattered my bedroom window in an attempt to escape from my punishment, and a long list of anything else you can think of!  
  
So, what in the world were my parents doing?  
  
I was kind of confused, but I sat down in my seat at the dinner table. For supper tonight was fried fish and potatoes. I smiled. My favorite! But WHY?  
  
"So, Karen," my mom said. It sounded like she might be up to something. . ."You met the new boy today?"  
  
"Yeah!" I suddenly blurted.  
  
My father stifled a chuckle. "Do you LIKE him?" he asked in a mocking, girlish voice.  
  
"NO!" I shouted all the sudden.  
  
Mother laughed. "It's ok, Karen," she said, picking up another forkful of fish. "We ALL get crushes!"  
  
"But I don't have a crush on him!" I half-lied. I actually didn't really know whether I liked him or not; I was pretty content to just be his friend for now.  
  
"Whatever you say. . ." Mother shook her head and exchanged a glance and a smile with my father.  
  
This conversation was soon forgotten and we went on eating the delicious food. I secretly couldn't wait to play with Jack the next day.  
  
~oOo~  
  
I woke up the next morning feeling excited about summer. I lept out of bed and dressed quickly. I took hardly any time for breakfast at all; I just stuffed a piece of jelly-covered toast into my mouth on the way out the door. With my head turned toward the front door I was shutting behind me, I ran directly into Jack, who stood grinning in my path. "Hullo," he said. His hands were behind his back, and I could tell he was holding something, but when I tried to peek around him, he turned so I couldn't see.  
  
So I gave up and said, "Hi."  
  
I noticed Jack was wearing swim trunks with his plain white tank top. He was wet.  
  
"Did you go to the beach already?" I asked, a little disappointed.  
  
Jack nodded silently. Then he said, "I was playing."  
  
"Without me," I finished with a frown.  
  
Jack saw that I was hurt. "I'm sorry. Pappy said there were more little girls to meet."  
  
"You met Elli and Popuri and - "  
  
"Maria," he finished. "Yeah."  
  
"Oh." I didn't really know what to say.  
  
"But Pappy gave me a present!" Jack's ears perked up as if he was a puppy.  
  
So did mine. "What is it?"  
  
Jack smiled and turned around, still not revealing what was behind his back as he shifted it around to his frontside. He turned back around, and there it was.  
  
"A puppy!" I squealed, reaching my hands out greedily to grab it.  
  
"Yup!" Jack said excitedly. "His name is Bear."  
  
The puppy was an itty-bitty ball of fur, no bigger than my five-year-old head. His fur was a soft brown, and the area around his eyes and nose was pure white. I found him so funny looking I laughed aloud. He had a bright red bandana tied around his neck, and his ears were a little too big for his body. I just squeezed him tight and picked him up, holding him gently against my chest. "I love him!" I squealed.  
  
Jack nodded with a grin. We played with the puppy for a while outside my front door. Jack and I laughed quite a bit as the young pup stumbled about, tripping over his long ears and losing his footing a number of times. After a long silence, during which Bear scurried around playfully and Jack and I sat quietly on the dried grass by my house, Jack looked up at me and said, "The other girls are at the beach."  
  
Silence.  
  
"Do you want to go?" he asked a little shyly. "Ann is there."  
  
I was still mad because Jack was having fun with other people besides me. No wonder my father often accused me of being a selfish brat! But I soon muttered, "Fine. I'll go get my bathing suit on. You can wait inside if you want."  
  
"'Kay." Jack followed me through the door with Bear in tow.  
  
I motioned for him to sit on the worn sofa next to the door before running madly up the stairs. Oh, I was such a child. . .I fought tears as I stripped off my clothes and put on my bathing suit. I was so upset. . .but how could I expect Jack to ignore everyone else? Just before opening my bedroom door and scurrying down the stairs again, I decided not to let the thought bother me. I wanted to just allow myself to think that he liked me best of all, but didn't want to hurt anyone else's feelings. Oh, geez. . .SUCH a child. . .  
  
I was SO embaressed when I got downstairs. Jack fidgeted nervously on the sofa while my parents asked if he liked me. "Uh, I, I, I, uh. . ." he stammered.  
  
I could've screamed.  
  
And I did.  
  
"MOTHER! DAD! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"  
  
My parents nearly jumped out of their skin. "Oh, hello, dear," my mother said, smoothing her skirt as she stood up from her kneeling position in front of the couch. My father, however, began to crack up laughing, and my mother found it important that she shove him forcefully out the back door. "Time to get to work!" she called to him, feigning enthusiasm. "I'm sorry, love," she said apologetically, turning back to Jack and me.  
  
I said nothing to her. Instead I motioned to Jack that we should go. It was bittersweet when Jack reached out to hold my hand as we walked out the door. The "sweet" part stood for how happy I was that he still wanted to play with me and be friends. The "bitter" part stood for how embaressed I was when I could hear my father laughing at us as we exited the vineyard. "Sorry," I apologized when we got to the crossroads.  
  
Jack giggled a bit. "It's ok." We stopped by the farm to drop of Bear with Pappy, then headed for the ocean.  
  
When we arrived at the beach, the other four girls were making quite a ruckus in the foamy ocean water. They were splashing and jumping and screaming and carrying on. Before running to jump into the waves with them, I looked at all my friends.  
  
First, of course, there was Ann. Even back then, her bright, dazzling red hair was always pulled into a high ponytail, then braided, then decorated with a pretty little white ribbon. Today she wore the same yellow bathing suit from yesterday, and it was just as bright as ever. Ann was the most spirited of all the girls, even me. She had beautiful blue eyes that could comfort, pierce, or soften any heart. She was almost always smiling, showing that perfect set of teeth. She was also the thinnest of all the girls, probably because of all the extra work she had to do as a farm-girl.  
  
Then there was Elli, cute, sweet, sensitive Elli. Though many considered her to be shy, she was exactly the opposite. Elli had such a cheerfulness, a wonderful glow around her, that often succeeded in brightening everyone's day. She has always had short brown hair that framed her fair face. I remember every time she had an itch or she smelled something sweet, her little nose would wrinkle up so cute! Today, she wore a pretty sky blue one piece bathing suit with little ruffles around it.  
  
Now Maria. . .Maria was the shy one. I never really knew her that well, but I could tell she was just as sweet as could be. She always seemed like she was afraid. . .afraid of. . .I don't know! Something! She had long, long, intense black hair, and back then, it was always in high, bouncy pig- tails. She had big glasses, but they couldn't even begin to hide her beautifully dark eyes and cute little nose. Her mouth seemed small, but her smiles were big! Today her bathing suit was bright, cheery red, and it glittered in the sunlight when she moved.  
  
Lastly was Popuri. I never really knew that little pink-haired girl too well. We played together a lot, but we. . .we had NOTHING in common. She was kind of a girly-girl. . .I mean, I like pink a lot, but I don't use pink for every single thing I do! She was a nice girl though, and probably the prettiest, most stylish one of us all. She has always had a perfectly thin waist that gave perfect structure to her body. I'll admit that ALL of us were jealous of her. But as little as I knew her, I liked her. Of course, her bathing suit was pink, but this time a soft, elegant two-piece.  
  
Before I knew it, Jack had touched my arm and shouted, "Tag, you're it!" and was now running madly down the dock. I chased him frantically, even jumping swiftly into the waves after him. And so the game of tag began. All the girls got a chance to be "it" and we must've played for almost an hour!  
  
Finally, Jack cartwheeled up onto the sand after announcing that he didn't want to play any more. Elli, Maria, Ann, and Popuri whined, but I truthfully agreed with Jack: I didn't want to play anymore!  
  
So I attempted to cartwheel up onto the sand as Jack had, but that resulted in laughter from Jack and a hard landing directly on my bottom. "Ha ha ha!" Jack giggled almost endlessly.  
  
I rubbed my rear a little as I stood up and walked over to sit next to Jack on the warm, glittery sand. The other girls continued with the game and made quite the noise doing so. But I didn't mind, and Jack didn't either. We just sat there without talking until a great noise arose from the entrance to the beach. "RAAAH! RAAAAAH!"  
  
It was the boys.  
  
Harris, Gray, and Jeff sprinted down the hill and into the water like three little hurricanes. Harris, the postman's boy, had a big mop of jet-black hair that swayed back and forth when he moved. He was a quiet boy when alone, but when one mixed him up with the other two boys of the town, he could be quite a handful.  
  
Jeff also had black hair, but his was cut short, short, short in a buzz. He was the shortest of them all, even though he was almost a year older. He was a wild child back then, and made up 75% of the rowdiness of the "Three Hurricanes."  
  
Gray had bright orange hair similar to Ann's. The boy was almost as wild as Jeff, but had a sense of self-control. He was the one all of us had a crush on, excluding Ann of course. His eyes were mysterious and dark, sometimes hidden under a military-looking cap that was way too big for him.  
  
Jack stood up quickly and ran after the boys. Ann began to scream at her brother to "get out of here, Gray! Stop it! Get out!" The other girls and I laughed. We all began to chase Gray and the other boys, including Jack, madly. Apparently, Jack had already met the Three Hurricanes. I didn't know how or when, but he had.  
  
I don't really know why we never got bored of chasing each other around. This game, along with the game of tag, which is similar enough, was the most popular in Flower Bud for us kids. So, there we were, just forming another playful game of tag amongst the waves.  
  
~oOo~  
  
After a few hours, everyone else had to go home, excluding myself, Jack, Ann, and Gray. As time passed, we found ourselves dancing. Of course, Ann, Gray, and I all knew how, but Jack needed a bit of help. It was an easy dance; mostly just a lot of prancing, spinning, and most of all, attitude. Jack was best at the winking part, as was Ann.  
  
Mr. Green, after a while, came down and announced that it was time for Gray and Ann to go home. So we said good-bye, and we left, too. There was an awkward silence, though, when we got to Pappy's farm. "Bye," I said finally. And Jack returned the farewell.  
  
On my walk home to the vineyard, I quickly decided that I LIKED him!  
  
~oOo~  
  
Well, about a week passed. Not a day went by when Ann and me didn't play with Jack. Sometimes the other girls would join in, and the Three Hurricanes (as they had recently come to be known as you might've guessed) often involved themselves. A lot of things went on, and after a few days, I wasn't so sure Jack liked me BEST anymore. It looked a little like he was crushing on Elli. But it probably looked to Jack like I was crushing on Gray. And I kind of was. . .  
  
Anyways, one day after that first week of summer, I was playing hide and seek with Jack and Ann at the vineyard. It was my turn to "seek," so I leaned against the stone wall of my house and counted slowly to twenty. "Ready or not, here I come!" I screeched loudly after turning around with an almost evil smirk on my face. I decided to look around the grove of grape trees first.  
  
I came upon a stack of barrels my father used to harvest the grapes in. I wondered why they were out in summer; usually, the harvest didn't start until fall. Then I remembered that my father had received a special order for some fresh wine and he was trying to make it as soon as possible. "So," I thought to myself. "The barrels will be empty because Dad has already processed the grapes."  
  
Angh! Wrong!  
  
I was sure that either Ann or Jack was hiding in one of these barrels, so I loudly screamed, "BOO!" While tipping one over. "Is it supposed to be this heavy?" I asked myself silently after it landed on the ground with a thump.  
  
To my shock and horror, the lid flew off, and out spilled hundreds of dark purple grapes. To make matters worse, one of the other barrels fell right on top of the spilled contents and crushed them ALL into the ground.  
  
I was doomed.  
  
I forgot about our game of hide and seek when I saw my father coming out of the house to see what the noise was. I fell to my knees, buried my face in my hands, and began sobbing uncontrollably. Before I averted my eyes, though, I could see the fury on Dad's face. For a moment I thought he was going to kill me.  
  
Instead he began cursing and shouting at me. "Karen Andreya Mundell, what are you doing?!" He clutched his long, dark hair in his big hands and searched for words. So many grapes. . .GONE.  
  
My crying did not cease. My father grabbed me by the arm and half-picked me up, half-dragged me to the wine cellar, where he tossed me like a dirty pair of shorts through the open door. I scurried to escape back outside, but he had already locked the cellar door. What was I going to do?  
  
I couldn't think of anything, so I began moaning and wailing. I could still hear my father outside yelling curses and stamping his feet angrily.  
  
"Karen?" a voice said behind me.  
  
"Jack," I said without emotion, except for the trail of sobs that followed the name.  
  
I looked up enough to see Jack reveal himself from behind a rack of wine bottles. "What happened?" Jack asked.  
  
I didn't answer him; just huffed and puffed and cried into my folded arms, which rested on my knees. Jack immediately rushed to my side and wrapped a comforting arm around my back. "It's ok," he murmured softly. "We can get out. It's ok."  
  
I just shook my head. "But he. . .but he. . .locked the door!" I managed before heaving another sob.  
  
Jack didn't say anything for a long time. Neither did I. We just sat there in silence, and after about five minutes, I stopped crying. We each began to walk around in our boredom. I started wondering if my dad would EVER let us out or if my mom would be able to find us.  
  
Soon, it started raining outside. I could hear thunder roaring furiously and the rain was so strong that it sounded like hail on the roof of the wine cellar. Poor Ann was probably on her way home now. I almost repeated a curse I'd heard from my father, but something stopped me. I don't know what; it just seemed like Jack didn't need to hear any cursing.  
  
After another awkward pause, during which I ran my hand across the wall and Jack drew pictures in the dust, Jack said something. "Do you want to pray?"  
  
"Ok," I agreed. But this wouldn't be the kind of praying I'd expected. "I will go first," I volunteered. So we knelt down and folded our hands beneath our chins like any child would do, and I began to pray, "Goddess, goddess, in the mountain, let us drink from your sweet fountain. . ." I sensed Jack's head snapping up from its bowed position, but I went on with the prayer rhyme I had been taught in school. ". . .thank you very much for life, and keep us, please, from harm and strife. Amen."  
  
When I looked up, Jack was staring at me quizically. "Goddess?" he asked doubtfully. "But Pappy prays to God."  
  
My eyes went wide. "God?" I asked with equal doubt. After a brief pause, I continued, "Do you pray to God?"  
  
Jack shrugged his little shoulders kind of cutely. "Only when I'm with Pappy. He says I should learn to pray to God while I still have a chance. Whatever that means."  
  
I shrugged, too, and the matter was soon forgotten.  
  
A looooooong time passed, and Jack and I were still trapped in the wine cellar. Jack was counting bricks; he could count a lot better than me, going up to a hundred! I could only count to twenty. . .  
  
"Karen!" he suddenly shouted, startling me from my investigation of wine labels.  
  
"What?" I shrieked, jumping from the surprise.  
  
Jack began to jump up and down for joy. "There's a hole, there's a hole!" he screeched, pointing at an opening in the dark brick wall. It was stuffed full with disgusting looking cobwebs, but Jack bravely found a board and began to remove the webs from the hole by scooping it out. Soon, we could see the rain beating down harshly on the dead grass outside. It was dark, real dark. I wondered how long we'd been trapped inside the cellar?  
  
Anyways, I got on my hands and knees and followed Jack outside. We began dancing for joy once we were out, even in the pouring ran. We did the dance Gray, Ann, and I had taught him at the beach. After the very last *wink*, I ran to give Jack a hug. And then. . .  
  
He kissed me!  
  
It was a kiddie kiss, lasting only a couple of seconds at the most, but it still meant a lot! I wanted to leap high into the air in my happiness, and it was all I could do to return the kiss as best I could. His lips were wet from the rain, and I knew mine were also. He just barely touched my cheek with his small hand, and it felt so good. . .so right. I closed my eyes, and they were still closed when I parted.  
  
"I like you," Jack said a second after we'd separated.  
  
"I like you, too," I answered, showing him an encouraging smile.  
  
I hugged him one last time, and then he ran home through the ferocious rain. I dashed into the house and dripped all over the living room carpet before running upstairs. I didn't pause in my run, but I could still see the surprised face of my father. He, apparently, had forgotten that I was trapped like a mouse in the cellar. My mother just glared at Dad and stood up from her rocking chair. When I got up to my room, I could hear Mother talking to my dad. "This is not going to go well, Gotz."  
  
I smirked and thought silently, "Hahaha! Serves ya right!"  
  
~oOo~  
  
In the next couple of weeks of summer, Jack played with Elli a lot. I was wondering if Jack had stopped liking me, but he never said anything to me, so I never spoke of it. Except to Ann.  
  
One day, Jack came by the vineyard alone. He had a backpack strapped on and was carrying a duffel bag, but I thought nothing of it as I ran outside to greet him. "Hey!" I said in a bubbly expression.  
  
"Hey. . ." Jack said slowly, his voice trailing. The spark in his eyes was still there, but smaller and less. . .sparkly.  
  
"Whatsa matter?" I asked, lowering my eyebrows in concern.  
  
"Karen, I got to go."  
  
"Jack," I said slowly. "You just got here."  
  
"No, I mean I have to go home." He paused. "Today."  
  
I felt like a ton of bricks had just been slammed into my gut. "W-wha- what?" I stammered, blinking rapidly.  
  
"I have to leave Flower Bud and go back home to my dad. In Texas." Jack adjusted his backpack and wouldn't meet my gaze. "I'm sorry," he said.  
  
I shook my head and embraced him tightly.  
  
After a long silence, Jack said, "Pappy told me to give you this." He took off his backpack and pulled a thick book out of it, handing it to me gently. It wasn't heavy at all, despite its size. I flipped through it and found that the pages were thin like tissue paper. There were a LOT of words.  
  
"But. . ." I paused. "I can barely read."  
  
Jack shrugged his shoulders. "Guess Pappy is up to something."  
  
I grinned, trying to make Jack smile. It worked.  
  
"Well," Jack said, putting his backpack on again. "Good-bye, I guess."  
  
I started to reply, but instead I almost screamed, "Wait!" I dashed up inside and up the stairs to my bedroom. After rummaging in my drawer for a couple of minutes, I found what I was looking for. After racing back down, I showed it to Jack.  
  
It was a picture of the two of us sitting on the edge of the dock at the beach. The ocean was beautiful behind us, and the sky was that special summer blue that I loved. "That was a good picture," Jack said as he looked.  
  
I took it from his hands and carefully tore it down the middle.  
  
"Karen!" he shrieked. "What are you doing?"  
  
After I was done, I handed him the side of the picture with me on it, keeping his picture to myself. "Take that with you to Texas, or whatever. I'll keep yours. That way, we'll remember each other."  
  
Jack nodded and smiled slightly. "Okay," he said. "Good-bye, Karen."  
  
"Bye, Jack," I murmured as he walked slowly away. I knew he was probably going to say good-bye to Elli if he hadn't already. He would say his farewells to Ann on the way to the beach.  
  
I held back hot, angry tears. I didn't want Jack to leave. Why did he have to leave?  
  
I looked down, realizing I still had the thick book Pappy had sent me. I looked at the two words on the front, but I couldn't read them. I had never heard them before.  
  
Years later, I would find out what the words were: HOLY BIBLE.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Author's Note: I am SOOO sorry! That took me forever! It will probably take quite a while between updates, so please don't get too angry with me. I would like to ask you to please review. It helps more than you know. Thanks! 


	3. Growing Up

Growing Up  
  
Author's Note: Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright!!!!! Here we go! I am really pumped up right now! The Lord has set me on FIYA!!!  
  
Harvestboy2001: Love ya, love ya, love ya! Awesome job with those Christian fics! Would read your other ones but I have no idea what Chrono Cross is! I know I'm soooooo not informed. . . Well, congrats! Love ya, once again!  
  
Disclaimer (which was carelessly and inexcusably forgotten last time) : I do not own a Beatles CD, a cat, a dance hall, a hibiscus print tee shirt, a chicken, a million dollars, or a limosine (sp.). Do you still think I own Harvest Moon?  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
My dad started drinking when I turned eleven. I remember the very first night when he came home drunk. I had been asleep, but who could get any shut-eye while a screaming match went on between my parents? I hadn't known what to do. I prayed and prayed to the goddess, but nothing seemed to get better that night. I rocked back and forth on my bed in a little ball until the screaming suddenly stopped. Dad had passed out, and my mother, whose cheeks were stained with hot tears, had left him there on the carpet in the living room to sleep it off. She wouldn't have been able to lift him up, much less carry him to their bedroom, anyway.  
  
It became easier for me to sleep during my parents' fights, because after a season and a half, my father's drunken nights were not uncommon. The bar received a visit from him at least twice a week. Sometimes, if the fights were louder than usual, I would climb out my window and creep into the wine cellar for the night. But Mother grew sort of accustomed to my dad's drunkenness, too. Now she either apologized for doing nothing or simply told him he should get to bed because he looked a little sick. After all, he wasn't always angry when he was drunk. He often came home drowsy and tired, and that was always best, besides the nights he didn't go to the bar.  
  
After a while, I also got used to not thinking about it during the day. My friendships and relationships grew and increased in numbers instead.  
  
Ann and I now did everything together, as a team. We made sure we saw and played with each other everyday, even in summer, when there was no school. Elli often joined us, too, adding a certain spunk to our silly games and girl talks. We sometimes played with Popuri and Maria, but those two remained a little distant. Popuri was still bubbly and friendly, but she didn't seem to like me or Ann. Maria stayed shy and stand-offish, so I never really got to know her too well.  
  
The spring after I turned nine, Jeff and I started "going out," if you could call it that; we never actually WENT anywhere together. Actually, we only went out for about three weeks. We didn't even go out long enough for us to kiss! The reason for our break-up had mostly been Ann. At the time, she didn't have a boyfriend and was getting a little jealous. I couldn't stand to see her like that, so I broke up with Jeff and told her it hadn't really worked out. Jeff didn't seem to mind; I think he was getting a little crush on Maria.  
  
There was also one incident during the summer of the year I was ten, when Ann went out with Harris for a week and a half. They had talked more when they weren't going out. Harris was actually the one that broke up with Ann, but my red-headed friend had been planning on dumping him anyway.  
  
So our relationships were pretty unlucky. . .obviously. . .  
  
I mostly forgot about Jack, the little boy who had visited a few summers ago. I don't know how I could ever forget my first kiss, but. . .I did. I also forgot about the time when me, him, and Elli buried that old, broken music box out in Pappy's field. We had made an elaborate little map and stuck it in the trunk of a gnarled old tree out by the water hole. I don't know how I could look at Bear, the dog Jack had left behind for Pappy, and not remember the boy. I saw that old wine cellar we'd been trapped in everyday, and still I could not remember. So, that whole summer we had spent together was basically erased from my memory.  
  
The large Book Pappy had given to Jack to give to me was also forgotten, unfortunately. I lost it before that summer even ended! So, needless to say, I certainly didn't remember it now.  
  
~oOo~  
  
Now it was the first day of Autumn, and I was twelve years old. It was the first day of sixth grade, as well as Elli's birthday. I felt so bad for her; who would want to have their birthday on the first day of school?  
  
I looked around the classroom, which was really the tiny sanctuary of the village church. Brother Jacobson, the reverend of the church, who also served as the school-teacher, stood at the blackboard scratching out the school rules. 'Geez,' I thought silently. 'Like we haven't heard this five billion times!' My eyes drifted around to glance at the various students in the class. They looked just about as bored as I was.  
  
Ann had already begun our yearly tradition of flicking minute paper wads at Brother Jacobson. She now sat in her seat next to me at our table, lining up the little balls of paper, aiming, and firing. Every time she hit the reverend, he didn't seem to notice. This triggered stifled snickers amongst the other pupils.  
  
Elli and Popuri shared a table with Maria, who was the only student in the class paying attention. Little Elli was spinning her ruler around slowly and carefully on her pencil with her free hand supporting her head and her elbow on the desk. The pink-haired girl next to her was glancing discreetly around the classroom, similarly to the way I was. When our eyes met, we exchanged smiles and a roll of the eyes in Brother Jacobson's direction. We stifled a laugh and then continued our examinations of the room.  
  
Jeff, Gray, and Harris, who had long since ceased to be called the Three Hurricanes, were all seated at another table. Jeff, whose jet-black hair had been left to hang about his forehead, was just staring rather blankly in the direction of Popuri's table. His strange and unusual stillness gave me a chance to look at him. He was actually kind of cute, but I'd already had my little fling with him three years ago. Harris looked like he was asleep. So I skipped him and my eyes dashed for the orange-haired Gray, who was carving his name or something into the table in front of him. He was, by far, the cutest guy of the three, but I knew my chances with him were slim. It looked to me like he had his eyes set on Elli right now. So I turned back to Ann.  
  
I tried to whisper to her. "This village could real - "  
  
"Miss Mundell." I was interrupted by the pestered Brother Jacobson. He slapped the board with his pointer stick, and it was aimed at "#1" on the board. "'No talking during class,'" he read in an annoying voice. "Do you have a problem with this rule, Karen?"  
  
I rolled my eyes a little, but Brother J didn't notice. "Nope."  
  
"You mean 'No, sir'?" he asked, with a raise of his thin eyebrows.  
  
I nodded stiffly and answered with a robotic voice. "No, sir."  
  
Brother Jacobson stared at me for a moment, and then turned back to the blackboard. I tore a sheet of paper from my notebook and wrote Ann a note. "Hey!" I wrote in my bubbly, girlish handwriting. "As I was trying to say, this village could really use a couple more hotties!" I silently slid the paper in her direction on the table.  
  
It took Ann a couple of seconds to read and write back before she passed the note back to me. "You're tellin' me!" it said. "We don't even have ONE!"  
  
"Yeah, we do!" I scribbled, trying not to smile for fear that Brother J might see me. "And he's your brother! But if you tell him that I will shoot you! Ha ha ha!"  
  
Ann stifled a giggle after a look of disgust. "Ick!" she wrote back.  
  
After that, we had to stop because Brother Jacobson assigned us homework to work on. On the first day of school!  
  
~oOo~  
  
When I arrived at my home after school, my father was reading the newspaper on the couch and Mother was tidying up the living room. "Why are you cleaning?" I asked, dropping my small orange backpack by the stairwell.  
  
My mother rolled her eyes hugely and nodded in Dad's direction. My father acknowledged the gesture by folding his newspaper and putting it down in his lap. "I've arranged for a hired hand to come help with the vineyard. . .tomorrow."  
  
"But!" my mother pressed, scrubbing almost angrily on the table. "He's only thirteen years old!"  
  
My heart lept in my chest, and my eyes widened, as did a huge smile across my face. "Really?!" I burst out. "He's only thirteen? Where is he from? How long is he staying? Is he going to live here? How are we going to - "  
  
"Karen!" both my parents shouted in unison. "Karen," my mother continued softly. "Slow down! Yes, he's thirteen. He is from a small island south of America. I forget what it's called. He will live here as long as he wishes. We will pay him a good salary, and - "  
  
"A good salary?" I almost exploded. "I work my butt off here and I don't even get an allowance!"  
  
My parents eyed me and forced me to look away. "Now, Karen," my mother said with a tone.  
  
'Oh, great!' I thought, almost rolling my eyes. 'Here comes the guilt trip.'  
  
"You know the vineyard is in a tight spot." Mother's eyes stared me down sternly. "You should help out around here out of the goodness of your heart."  
  
I wanted to say something like, "Oh, puh-leez!" but I kept my mouth shut.  
  
For a second.  
  
Then I said. "So he's coming tomorrow, is he?"  
  
Once more, my mother hugely rolled her eyes as my father answered "yes" in an I'm-right-and-you're-wrong tone of voice.  
  
I could barely keep from grinning as I ran frantically out the door. 'Yes!' I thought silently to myself. 'A new boy! Ooh, maybe he'll have one of those cute foreign accents! I can't wait!'  
  
I darted for Green Ranch, where I blurted out the whole story to Ann, who was soon just as excited as I was. "Hopefully he's that cute guy we've been waiting for! Oh, this is gonna be so COOL!"  
  
We giggled together.  
  
On my way back home, I stopped to visit Pappy at Moonlit Farm. He gave me a hug, a gobstopper, and a few tickles on my ribs. I giggled and thanked him for the candy. "Any time, sweetheart!" he answered me in a sugary voice, ruffling my hair a bit.  
  
"How is Bear?" I asked, referring to the semi-old dog that resided at Pappy's farm.  
  
Pappy chuckled heartily and motioned to the fat little light brown dog who was snoring on the couch. "He's the fattest pup I've ever saw! But he's doin' just fine. Stayin' healthy!"  
  
I smiled. "Well, see you later, Pappy!"  
  
"Good-bye, sweetheart!"  
  
~oOo~  
  
The next morning, I was up at the crack of dawn. I bathed quickly in the shower and washed my hair hastily, leaving plenty of time to get dressed and style my hair carefully. After doing all of these and brushing my teeth, I stood in front of my full-length mirror to stare myself down. I NEEDED to impress this new guy. I knew the boy was in my house by now, and probably up already. Meaning I needed to get this done and leave some time to introduce myself and maybe squeeze in a little flirting.  
  
Despite my thoughts on how I needed to rush, I took a moment to look at myself in the mirror. My semi-thick light brown hair was parted straight down the middle, leaving my two blond strands to curve slightly around my face. My emerald eyes were sharp and alert. I gave a smile, looking at my straight, white teeth. I wore a thin black jacket over my favorite purple vest and a thick brown belt with my casual jeans. I smoothed out my clothes a little, soon deciding that I was ready.  
  
I nervously cracked my door open and peered downstairs. All I could see was Mother seated at the table, munching oatmeal, and Dad re-reading yesterday's paper on the couch. No new boy so far. . .  
  
No, wait! Who was that, coming out of the guest room?  
  
Ha! That was him!  
  
I shut my door and gave myself a mental pep-talk. After tucking my fine hair behind my ears, I opened the door slowly and casually. I waited until I had made my way down the steps before acknowledging the boy with eye contact. 'Oh, my gosh!' I thought silently. 'Cutie alert!'  
  
"You must be Miss Karen." The boy smiled a little and extended a friendly hand for me to shake.  
  
I shook it shyly but replied with confidence. "Yep, that's me!" I grinned good-naturedly.  
  
The foreign young man grinned back. "My name is Kai."  
  
"Hello, Kai," I responded, feeling awfully ditzy and awkward.  
  
The guy was beautiful. His dark, dark hair was hidden beneath a clever purple bandana. His shirt was clean, pure white, contrary to his jet black pants. He was maybe an inch or two taller than me, being a year older. The part I loved most about him was his dark black eyes. They were deep. . .really deep. And mysterious, too. Sadly, though, there was no cute foreign accent. "Hello, Miss Karen," Kai suddenly said, snapping me out of my careful examination.  
  
I wondered if Kai would be attending school with me.  
  
Thankfully, my mother answered the question. "Well, you two better be off to school!" she said, looking up from the kitchen sink. "It's almost eight o'clock."  
  
I slowly detached my eyes from his and picked up my worn-out orange backpack. Bagless, he followed me with his hands behind his back. "Uh, I guess I'll walk with you," he said slowly. He looked up into my eyes and explained, "I don't know where anything is."  
  
"That'd be fine," I said plainly, slowing my walk so he could walk beside me. The march to school was over fast, because the vineyard was so close. Along the way, though, I asked him questions about his homeland, wondering if he lived the city, maybe. He replied that his native island was home to a few cities, but those were mostly just tourist attractions. He said Americans loved going there. He told me the name of the place, but I forget what it is.  
  
When we arrived at the tiny church building, Ann, Gray, Elli, and Popuri were already there. My red-headed friend nearly lept from her seat when Kai and I came through the front door! I began making introductions quickly. "Brother Jacobson," I said, causing the preacher's head to rise from his podium, "this is Kai. He'll be staying at the vineyard with my family as a hired hand. Kai, this is Brother Jacobson, our preacher and teacher."  
  
Brother Jacobson spoke before Kai could. "We are verrrrrrrrrrrrrry glad to have you here, Mr. Kai!" he said gregariously, dragging out his word.  
  
Kai nodded with a shy smile and responded with, "Thank you. I'm realllllllllllllllllllly glad to be here!" Strange, he actually didn't sound sarcastic, although I was sure the statement was meant to be smart- alecky! But Kai's friendly smile and warm greeting had proved me wrong.  
  
Ann cleared her throat loudly, signalling that I should introduce him to HER now. "A-a-a-ah-ahem!"  
  
I couldn't contain a bubbly smile. "Kai!" I said enthusiastically. "This is my best friend Ann! Ann, this is Kai. He will be staying with us at the vineyard as a hired ha - " I repeated what I had said to Brother J, knowing Ann would interrupt me.  
  
Which she did. "Hello, Kai!" she said happily, extending her hand before he could.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Ann." Kai shook it with a friendly attitude.  
  
With that, I continued to introduce him to Elli, Popuri, and Gray, as well as Maria, Harris, and Jeff as they arrived at school. It seemed EVERYONE wanted to talk to Kai. . .about his homeland, his family back home, his foreign friends, his ferry ride to Flower Bud, and anything else you can imagine. It wasn't until Brother Jacobson tapped on his podium and demanded order that the young man took his seat at a table with the other three boys. Ann and I sat in our usual spot: second column, first row!  
  
Unusually, Ann and I did not flick paper wads today. We were both trying to pay attention, who knows why, probably to make a good impression on Kai, but we failed miserably. Soon enough, both of us were doodling in our notebooks and writing silly notes to each other.  
  
The school day seemed to last for an eternity. But when it ended, Brother Jacobson sent Kai home with an entire armload of books and notepads. The walk home with Kai was a little awkward. I offered to help carry his books, and he accepted with a grateful smile. After that, though, I couldn't think of anything to talk about. I decided to just drop off my backpack and books and head over to Green Ranch. Things were just too awkward with Kai, and I wanted to talk to my best friend about it.  
  
~oOo~  
  
After that week, I became extremely comfortable around Kai. He stayed in the tiny, tiny "guest room" of our house, which used to be a little storage closet. Some days after school, he would casually walk into the living room and watch TV with me on the couch. He was polite at all times; never rude or cruel. I liked him more each day, and so did Ann, who began walking home with us after school and playing games with us at my house. We went to the beach once that week, when the sun was shining bright, with Gray, and he would tag along with us when we went to the forest or the mountain. I think he was trying to protect Ann. Gray has always been her body guard, especially with unfamiliar people around. Nevertheless, I think Gray was starting to warm up to Kai.  
  
It was now the tenth of Fall, a humid, dreary Wednesday afternoon. Kai, Ann, Gray, and I were going to the goddess spring on an errand. Mr. Green wanted us to drop a large mushroom in the pond as an offering to the goddess. Hardly anyone gave offerings anymore, just Doug Green, Mayor Thomas, his wife, Granny Ellen, and, of course, Brother Jacobson.  
  
Our little errand made me think about Kai's confused expression in church last Sunday. Brother Jacobson rambled on about puzzling "ways of the goddess" and "the goddess's great miracles that we all see each day." When I'd asked Kai about his religion, he had replied simply. "I have no 'religion,'" he had said, holding up his fingers in quotation marks. I found this fact about Kai somewhat odd, but brushed it aside and allowed it to be forgotten.  
  
As we slowly approached the pond, Ann said, "Did you see Harris and Maria staring at each other all through class today?"  
  
I giggled and nodded as Kai said, "Yeah, that was odd."  
  
Gray looked at us quizzically. "Didn't you hear?" he asked, pulling the humongous mushroom his father had given him from his pocket. "Harris asked Maria to the Harvest Festival this Friday." He plopped the mushroom into the pond, causing a small splash and large, round ripples in the water.  
  
We were silent for a moment. "You know, my great-grandfather wrote in his diary of tales that the goddess would rise from the pond when an offering was given and grant you a wish."  
  
Kai's eyebrows raised in interest, but I remained silent. I hated hearing about these "tales." They just didn't click with me. If the stories really were true, and the goddess really did rise from the pond. . .then why didn't she ever come out anymore?  
  
I brushed the thought aside and looked at Ann, who continued quietly. "My dad says the goddess did great things for this village when my great- granddaddy was alive."  
  
Once again, I wondered why the goddess never did anything great for the village anymore. 'Where is she now, when I need her?' I questioned silently.  
  
Kai shrugged without a sound when we began to walk away, back to Green Ranch. Then his brow furrowed inquisitively and he asked, "What was that you said about a Harvest Festival?"  
  
Ann answered quickly, before Gray had a chance. "It's a big party we have every year on the twelth of Autumn to celebrate the harvest. There's food, dancing, and next year's king is chosen! I hope it's my daddy!"  
  
Gray rolled his eyes. "Sis, Dad was king last year."  
  
I said nothing. My dad was never king. My dad never even came to the festivals.  
  
I think Gray and Ann sensed my hardened expression, because they became deathly quiet. Kai seemed to get the picture, having been present at the drunken freak show at my house a few nights before. As usual, my father had arrived home dangerously drunk, precisely at midnight. There was lots of screaming between my parents, and many different arguments arose as the night wore on. I hadn't been able to sleep, wondering what Kai thought of me and my family now. But in the morning, as we walked to school, he had seemed as friendly as ever.  
  
Ann decided to break the tense silence that hung over our heads. "Anyways, all the guys are supposed to ask girls to come with them." Pause. "Like a. . .date!"  
  
"Dun-dun-dun!" Gray added playfully.  
  
"Who are you going to ask?" Kai looked at Gray inquisitively.  
  
Gray blushed a deep, dark pink and shrugged coolly. "I'dunno."  
  
Kai grinned. "So there's dancing, you say?" he asked after a brief pause.  
  
I nodded proudly, breaking my silence. "Yup! That's my favoritest part!"  
  
Laughing, Kai answered me in an equally boastful voice. "Well, that's great, 'cause I'm not too bad of a dancer."  
  
I blushed. Was he hinting something?  
  
"Karen's not so bad herself." Ann nudged me playfully with her elbow.  
  
"Well, neither are you, Ann!" I elbowed her back.  
  
"Oh, come on, Karen," Ann said with a wide grin, "we all know you're better."  
  
"Yeah." Gray piped up. "You're better than all of us put together."  
  
Kai stretched out his arms and cracked his knuckles boastfully. "Well, we'll just have to see about that, now won't we?"  
  
~oOo~  
  
The next day at school was so incredibly nerve racking. I knew this was the day. . .today was the guys' last chance to ask a girl to the Harvest Festival. It was already clear that Maria was going with Harris, and it was later discovered that Jeff had bravely asked Popuri. Now was the hard part: there were three girls and only two guys left. That meant one of us would have to go without a date. I cringed. What if I was that girl?  
  
The situation looked hopeless. I was pretty confident that Gray was going for Elli. That narrows it down to Kai, who would have to choose between Ann and me. As much as I hated to admit it, I knew Kai fancied Ann over me. Her confidence, flare, spirit, beauty, and sensitivity all combined to form the perfect match for Kai.  
  
Outside, at lunch that day, I "overheard" Gray asking Elli to the festival. She quickly said yes and blushed deep red. I grimaced. Oh, no.  
  
In the second half of the school day, Kai passed Ann a note. Of course, I couldn't read it, but it looked too short for him to be asking her to the festival in it. I just kept telling myself that, trying to keep my spirits up for the rest of the day.  
  
After school, when all the students thundered noisily away from the church, Ann suspiciously announced that she needed to run an errand on the mountain for her father. Kai didn't seem to find it as conspicuous as I thought it was. Then, later that day, Kai said he "needed to go for a walk on the mountain to get some fresh air."  
  
Then I knew. Then I knew that I was all alone. And I would be terribly by myself at the festival. 'Great,' I thought. 'This is just great.'  
  
Sure enough, Ann came thundering up the stairs to my bedroom around five o'clock that evening. "Karen!" she shrieked. "Karen, Karen, Karen! Kai asked me to the Harvest Festival!"  
  
I tried to smile, and Ann didn't catch my weak expression. I was glad she didn't see me dying inside. "That's great, Ann!" I was trying so hard to be happy and enthusiastic for my best friend. She would do the same for me.  
  
Ann simply beamed. After she had rattled for a bit about how wonderful and cute and charming Kai was, she gave me a hug and left.  
  
Hot tears began to flow down my cheeks and onto the pillows on my bed. Reality was sinking in. I was going to be so sad and lonely at my very favorite festival! I was so angry at everyone. I was angry at Gray and Kai because they hadn't asked me to the festival. I was angry at Ann because she didn't even sympathize with me at all. I was mad at my mother because she never came up to comfort me. I was mad at my father because he didn't care. I was mad at Mayor Thomas for allowing this stupid festival. I was mad at Maria and Elli and Popuri because they had dates.  
  
I was just sooo mad.  
  
After an hour of crying, I told my mother I didn't want any dinner and stormed off to the beach to be alone. No one ever went to the beach in Autumn. I figured I'd be just fine over there. I curled myself up into a ball on the end of the dock, hugging my legs tightly and burying my face hard into my knees. My messed-up hair hung all around my head and knees sloppily, but I didn't care. I was heart-broken.  
  
Soon enough, I heard footsteps behind me, but I didn't look up. I didn't want to see anyone right now. I just wanted to. . .I just wanted to. . .to cry. By myself.  
  
However, my feelings changed when I heard a familiar voice call me by the very same endearment that he always had. "Sweetheart," Pappy said in a soothing tone of voice.  
  
I let out a sob. "Hi, Pappy," I muttered, face still buried deep in my knees.  
  
"You know, I wanted to ask you something."  
  
I couldn't see, but I sensed Pappy taking a seat on the wooden dock just behind me. "W-what?" I said between sighs.  
  
"Well, you're so beautiful and sweet and caring, and so positively radiant with love. . .I thought I might try to ask you to the Harvest Festival tomorrow."  
  
I finally looked up, feeling steamy tears streaming down my red face. "Oh, Pappy." The old man was smiling warmly in a kneeling position behind me. I turned around and said, "You're just saying that because Kai didn't ask me, and I'm the only girl without a date."  
  
Pappy closed his eyes, frowned slightly, and shook his head. "Naw. I was actually thinking you'd be upset because Little Elli is going with Gray."  
  
I nodded and admitted that I was upset. "But. . .Ann is going with Kai."  
  
"Oh, and you like this Kai, don't you?"  
  
"Yes." I paused. "But don't tell anyone, ok?"  
  
Pappy smiled good-naturedly. "I won't. I promise."  
  
I couldn't help but smile back, despite my tears. After a long silence, I finally asked, "Do you really want to go with me?"  
  
"Absolutely!" Pappy chuckled and hugged me. "Who wouldn't?"  
  
"Apparently Kai and Gray."  
  
"Oh, don't you worry about them!" Pappy playfully hoisted me onto his shoulders with ease. I giggled, feeling all my sadness wash away in Pappy's fun-loving chuckle. "They won't be having as much fun as us!"  
  
~oOo~  
  
"Karen!"  
  
"In a second, Mother!"  
  
"Well, I'm going to go ahead and go," my mother called up the stairs. "I'm supposed to help set up. Can you go by yourself?"  
  
"Yes," I called back down to her.  
  
"By the way, dear," she said, softening her tone, "who are you going with?"  
  
I winced at the remembrance of yesterday's tears, but then smiled, thinking of Pappy's comforting laugh. "I'm going with Pappy."  
  
Mother laughed good-naturedly. "Good choice, hon. He's the best guy around!" she joked. After that, I heard the front door open and then shut behind her.  
  
I glanced at my reflection in the mirror. I looked pretty decent. Instead of shorts or jeans, I wore a charming denim skirt that just barely covered my knees, and in place of my famous purple vest was a cool dark purple shirt with elbow-length sleeves and a small slit in the center of the collar. I wore cute sandals that revealed my freshly painted toenails and a stylish, glittery anklet. Around my neck was the beautiful silver necklace I only wore at festivals: the necklace that had belonged to my precious grandmother. I had added some sparkly glitter to my hair, and it shimmered and shone when I moved. I smiled. I looked pretty good.  
  
"DING-DONG!" came the noisy ring of the doorbell. I hurried downstairs to answer it and found Pappy looking pretty stylish with half a dozen pink roses in hand.  
  
"Pappy!" I nearly screamed excitedly.  
  
The old man grinned broadly. "These are for you, sweetheart," he said, holding out the roses for me to grab.  
  
"Oh, Pappy!" I shrieked. "Pink roses! My favorite! How did you know?"  
  
"Oh, I've got my sources." Pappy winked playfully. "Well, don't you look lovely, Miss Mundell!"  
  
I giggled. "You look nice, too, Pappy," I said. "Here, let me find a vase to put these in." I dashed to the kitchen and rummaged through the cabinets before finding a decorative jar to put the dazzling pink roses in. When I came back to the front door, Pappy held out his arm, and I took it with a smile.  
  
Upon arrival at the town square, everything had been set up beautifully. I wondered how those cherry blossom trees kept their beauty for three seasons a year as I looked around at the wonderful pink atmosphere. Many tables had been set up around the perimeter, sporting what I knew to be delicious vegetables, fruits, cakes, pies, and drinks. There were people milling about all over the place, and every one of them looked wonderful.  
  
Searching the crowd, the first person I spotted was Popuri, her pink curls bouncing joyfully behind her as she hopped up and down excitedly next to Jeff, who just grinned and grinned. Harris and Maria, as I soon discovered, were just enjoying each other's company at a veggie table. Maria's dark black hair had been pulled up into a pretty bun, giving extra emphasis to her angelic face. It didn't take me long to spot Elli and Gray having quite a time practicing their dancing. Elli looked simply radiant, her short brown hair twirling about her face as she spun around and around, her hand holding Gray's above their heads. Her brand new, long, pretty dress shone with color as it twirled similarly to her hair. And then there was Kai and Ann, eating white cake at the bakery booth. Ann was beautiful. Her hair was actually down for once, stretching past her shoulder blades in dazzling red curls. She wore a pretty sundress that emphasized her sparkling blue eyes, displaying happiness all over.  
  
"I think I might like some chocolate cake right about now," Pappy said, interrupting me from my thoughts. He rubbed his round tummy with his old wrinkled hand, looking down at me with a smile.  
  
I grinned. "No, no, no," I said. "You must save room for the coin cake!"  
  
Pappy chuckled. "I guess you're right. After all, that old Doug Green mustn't beat me again!"  
  
I laughed with him. "Look at the strawberries!" I cried. "Mmm. . ." It was my turn to rub my tummy. "I love strawberries."  
  
"Oh, yes, I know." Pappy took my arm once more, and we walked over to the fruit table. All the fruits looked so juicy and plump, I couldn't resist. I quickly grabbed a couple of strawberries and a small yellow pear. "Guess you're hungry, are you sweetheart?"  
  
I nodded. "Mm-hm," I said through a mouthful of strawberry. Pappy grabbed a few himself and the both of us munched happily. Everyone just ate and drank and enjoyed each other's company for hours on end. The sun was starting to set when Granny Ellen made her entrance.  
  
Granny Ellen cleared her throat as Mayor Thomas handed her an old microphone. Everyone looked her way as she smiled excitedly. "Alright, I've got a great lot of cakes here, and only one has our prized King Coin in it! Come on down, all you old men!" Everyone laughed. "Who will be next year's king? Only the cake can decide! Alright, all men who wish to participate should form a single file line directly in front of me. Here we go!"  
  
"Go on Pappy!" I shouted over all the noise of the villagers clammering to be in the line. "You can be the king!"  
  
Pappy laughed. "Alright, sweetheart, here I go!" Pappy slowly jogged up to the line and found his place behind Mr. Green.  
  
I searched the crowd and finally found Ann. I hurried over to stand by her. "Hello, Ann!" I said happily.  
  
"Hi, Karen," my friend greeted warmly. "So you've got Pappy as your date, huh?"  
  
I nodded, proving to her that I could be happy at my favorite festival without some young punk for a date.  
  
"That's so cool!" Ann surprised me. "I'm glad you aren't mad at me for going with Kai."  
  
I shook my head. "Naw. Pappy is better anyway."  
  
We giggled.  
  
"Oh!" Ann suddenly screeched. "My dad is going up to eat his cake!"  
  
Sure enough, Doug Green had picked out his piece of creamy white cake and was now stuffing it into his mouth. Everyone laughed when he swallowed, coinless, and grabbed the microphone. "This is crazy!" he shouted jokingly. "I must have swallowed it or something!" The whole village roared with laughter.  
  
"Here goes Pappy!" I said, excited.  
  
The old man picked out a big, honkin' piece of cake and munched on it bite by bite. The entire village cheered when he pulled a small gold coin out of his mouth and held it up for the whole crowd to see. Mayor Thomas handed him the microphone, and Pappy said, "Finally I've beat that old Green!" Laughter filled the square again. "What are we waiting for? Let's dance for cryin' out loud!"  
  
The crowd cheered. Mayor Thomas informed Pappy that the King got the first choice for dancing. "Who would you like to dance with, Farmer Tandley?"  
  
"Well, my sweetheart, of course!" Pappy declared into the microphone. "Miss Karen Mundell, would you like to dance?"  
  
I giggled and blushed as everyone turned to look at me. I answered with unfaltered confidence, though, "Oh, yeah!" Everyone in the square laughed as I jogged in Pappy's direction.  
  
After the noise died down, Mayor Thomas announced that everyone else should pick their partner now. Needless to say, all the kids my age picked their date. Mayor Thomas chose his wife, of course, and the florist Lillia danced with her husband Basil. I felt sorry for my mother, who stood aside with Granny Ellen and Mr. Green. Once again, my father was a no-show. 'Great,' I thought. 'My mother is alone on her favorite festival.'  
  
But my glum expression washed right off as the music started and Pappy grabbed my hand to pull me out onto the dance floor. All the non-dancing watchers began to clap along with the music. Pappy and I put our hands on our hips and faced each other on the dance floor, as did everyone else. On the cue the cheerful song gave, everyone started prancing to their right, finding themselves in front of someone else. I found myself in front of Jeff. When we went left, I was facing Kai. I blushed deep pink. After dancing backward and forward, Pappy and I twirled, then threw a playful wink at each other. Pappy was a great dancer, but I have to admit that I was better. I had been born with the gift of dancing, and how I loved it!  
  
We all danced a couple more songs after that, before the Mayor informed the village that it was time to go home. Indeed, the sun had set, and the stars were now twinkling in the bright night sky. How I loved those beautiful Autumn night skies.  
  
As my mother stayed behind to help clean up the square, Pappy walked me home. For an instant I wished that I had really had a date that day. But I tried not to focus on it as Pappy offered to stay over until Mother got home. I gratefully accepted his offer and invited him. I was extremely embaressed when we walked in the house to find my father snoring loudly on the sofa. But Pappy didn't seem to mind. "Ah, that old bum!" he joked as he shook Dad awake.  
  
Thankfully, my father was in a good mood. "Hello, you two!" he greeted us happily.  
  
"You missed a great festival, Daddy!" I said, as he gave me a bear hug. I savored the moment. I loved it when my father was this happy and cheerful. He could sometimes go an entire week in this lovely mood until something destroyed it. I brushed the thought aside and returned my father's giant hug.  
  
"Did I?" he asked. "I'm sorry, Kare-bear."  
  
I knew he was sincere by the sudden lack of shine in his eyes. "It's alright, but Mother didn't look so happy."  
  
"Was she angry?" Dad asked after a brief pause.  
  
"I don't think so," I answered. "Just sad."  
  
Daddy swallowed hard. "I'll have to make it up to her." There was a long and awkward silence. Finally my dad said, "So how are you doing, Joe?"  
  
"I am doing just fine, Mr. Mundell! Animals are stayin' healthy, and the farm is doing great. I do love this fine season. Lots of fresh mushrooms, and boy, do I love it when I get all those eggplants!" Pappy laughed heartily.  
  
"That's great." My father yawned. "I think I'll turn in, Karen. But I want you to know that I will make it up to your mother."  
  
I was shocked. Daddy had never been in such a pleasant mood. I hoped he stayed like this for a long, long, long time. "Ok, Daddy," I said, not able to contain a huge smile. Pappy sensed my happiness and gave me a hug good-bye. He shook my father's hand and bid him a nice farewell also.  
  
After Pappy left, I ran into my father's arms and couldn't hold back hopeful tears. "Karen," my father said, obviously surprised. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Daddy, please stay this way!" I blurted suddenly. After that, my words slurred together in a stream of emotion. "Please, Daddy, don't ever get drunk again! I love you, Daddy! Please stay this way!"  
  
"Oh, Karen." My father could not hide his tears. "Karen, I am so sorry."  
  
I buried my face in my father's chest and let my hopeful tears flow. "Just don't ever drink again, please, Daddy!"  
  
"Oh, Karen. . ." my daddy stroked my hair. "I promise. I promise. I promise," he repeated over and over, cradling me in his arms.  
  
My mother gasped and dropped her purse and coat when she walked in the door and found us this way. Dad quickly explained what had happened, and my mother cried tears of joy. "Oh, Gotz! Gotz, thank you so much."  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry you were so alone at the festival," Daddy blurted, embracing my mother as well.  
  
My mother said nothing after this, just squeezed Daddy tight.  
  
~oOo~  
  
The next night, my father took Mother out for a night on the town. Kai and I stayed at the Greens' with Ann and Gray. I promise I smiled the whole time. I was so happy. Everything was working out just right.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
A/N: I loved this chapter! It took me soooooo long to write though! I'm really sorry! Please review! I love y'all so much! MWAH! 


	4. Three Years Later

Three Years Later  
  
Author's Note: Hello, everybody! Well, I am introducing Cliff in this chapter. You know when Cliff shows up in the game? This is not that time. This is a few years before. Mm-kay?  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own a soda machine, a swing set, a spare tire, a Route44 from Sonic, a baseball team, or an accordian. Do you still think I own Harvest Moon?  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Three years later, I was fifteen years old, almost finished with my nineth grade year. It was mid-Spring, and the village was filled with beautiful cherry blossom trees. The air was light and cheery, the atmosphere a lovely pink. Summer was fast-approaching, and Ann and I, who were still the best of friends, could hardly wait.  
  
On a bright, sunny morning I woke up to X out another day on my wine calendar. Seeing that it was now Spring 18, I looked back on the previous X, on Spring 17, the local horse race. I grinned to myself, walking over to my dresser to finger the hundred gold coins I had won. I had bet all the money I owned on Gray Green, who had excitingly placed first not only in his heat, but beat the time of all the other racers! It had been my first betting experience, and Gray's very first race. I smiled once more.  
  
It was a Saturday, my only day off. So I got dressed and started out the door, throwing a glance at the clock: 8:54 AM. However, when I got downstairs, I was surprised to find my parents already up, and a strange boy sitting on the sofa in front of the TV. "Karen, you're up!" my mother exclaimed, standing up from her seat at the table.  
  
The strange boy also stood. I eyed him warily. His clothes were awfully shabby, as if they were hand-me-downs from great-great-grandparents. The shoes he wore were very similar. I looked at his face, which was decorated with a somewhat cute smile and a sparkle of dark brown eyes. His hair was kind of intriguing, with long, stringy bangs hanging about his thin eyebrows. As he turned his head, I caught a glimpse of thick blond hair in a ponytail behind his neck, contrasting with the rest of his dark brown hair. This strange feature made me touch my hair, which was up in a higher ponytail (more girly), the two golden locks of hair that I loved so much framing my face. Was there a chance that we were. . .related?  
  
The boy seemed to sense our similarities also, but he didn't seem confused at all as he just grinned happily. What was going on?  
  
Thankfully, my mother answered my unspoken question. "Karen, this is your cousin Cliff."  
  
I nodded and smiled, extending a hand to shake. "Nice to meet you," I said in a friendly voice.  
  
"Likewise," Cliff said, smiling warmly.  
  
"Why didn't you ever tell me I had a cousin?" I asked my parents.  
  
"What?" Mother glanced at Daddy. "I thought we told you a few years ago."  
  
I shook my head. "No. . .but even if you did, how come I never met him?"  
  
"Karen, he lives in Arizona, USA!" my father said, closing the magazine he'd been reading. "That's almost halfway across the world. And besides, Cliff is not doing so well money-wise, and. . .Well, I'll let you tell the story, Cliff." With that, Daddy walked out the front door to get on with his daily chores.  
  
"Go ahead, Cliff," Mother said quietly, putting Dad's magazine away.  
  
"Well, I know for sure that you knew my parents, your uncle and aunt," Cliff said, seating himself and motioning for me to sit.  
  
"Uncle Andy and Aunt Pat?" I questioned.  
  
Cliff nodded. "Yeah, that's them."  
  
"But they. . ." I paused. "They died two years ago."  
  
"Yeah." Cliff took a breath. "I was only thirteen when their charter plane crashed in the Pacific. So for the past two years, I've been living in Arizona with my paternal grandfather - "  
  
"Ok, wait," I interrupted. "So your mom was my dad's sister. . .right? And your father was my dad's brother-in-law?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Ok, just making sure."  
  
Cliff smiled. "Ok. As I was saying, I've been staying in Arizona with my dad's parents. They are not doing well with money, so they sent me here."  
  
"By yourself?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah," Cliff answered. "They want me to check it out and see if it would be a suitable place to live."  
  
"Oh." I didn't really know what to say. "So," I said. "Uh, how long will you be staying?"  
  
Cliff winced a little. "I, uh, told my grandmother it would be intrusive, but she would have none of it." He paused. "Three seasons."  
  
I grinned. "Alright! Three seasons! Yes!"  
  
Cliff was a little surprised. "You mean, you're ok with it?"  
  
"Well, of course!" Mother piped up. "Guests are always welcome here, especially relatives!"  
  
"Oh, I can't wait for you to meet my friends! You'll love it here!" I exclaimed. "Have you met Kai?"  
  
"Uh. . ." Cliff's eyes rolled up, as if he was searching his brain. "No."  
  
I hurried to knock on the door of Kai's bedroom. "Kai?" I called.  
  
"Yes, Miss Karen?" came the reply.  
  
"Are you decent?"  
  
"Yes, Miss Karen."  
  
I opened the door to find Kai reading a book on his bed. "Good morning," I said.  
  
"'Morning, Miss Karen," he greeted me with a friendly smile.  
  
"Kai, I'd like you to meet my cousin Cliff, who will be staying with us until late Fall." I grabbed Cliff's arm to pull him into the doorway.  
  
Kai got up from his bed and walked over to shake Cliff's hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you!"  
  
"Likewise," Cliff answered with a grin, repeating what he'd said to me.  
  
My mother joined us in the doorway. "Kai, would it be alright if Cliff roomed with you while he stays here with us?"  
  
"Well, of course, Mistress Sasha! It's your house."  
  
Mother smiled and got back to whatever she had been doing in the kitchen. There was a brief silence, followed by my friendly invitation. "Kai, want to come with me to introduce Cliff to everyone?"  
  
"Certainly, Miss Karen!" Kai marked his book and threw it on the bed. "Let's go, shall we?"  
  
I grinned in response. However, when we got out the front door, I screamed in terror as a huge, ugly falcon swooped down, level with my head. "AAAHHHH!!!!" I screeched, jumping visibly. I caught my breath as the hideous creature circled above us. "What IS that?!"  
  
Cliff chuckled. "That's Cain."  
  
"Say whatie?" I asked, scratching my head.  
  
"Cain," Cliff repeated. "My friend." He paused. "I found him on the ferry ride. He was standing out on the rail trying to pick something out of his wing."  
  
"And he let you come near him?" Kai asked.  
  
"Well, after a while. I pulled a thorn bush branch from his wing, and after that, he let me feed him."  
  
"It doesn't LOOK like he's been fed," I stated, glaring at the bird's unhealthy thinness.  
  
"That's because he hadn't been before that ferry ride." Cliff held up his hand, and to my surprise, the big ugly falcon landed gracefully on my cousin's fingers.  
  
"Speaking of not being fed," I began, squinting through the sunlight as I tried to look Cliff in the face. "You ain't lookin' too chubby there, Cliff."  
  
As if on cue, an enormous roar erupted from Cliff's mid-section. His hand flew to his stomach, and he said, "Oh, my gosh, I thought you'd never ask."  
  
Kai's eyes widened as he started to realize Cliff's skeletal figure. "How long has it been since you ate?" he asked, eyes filling with disbelief.  
  
Cliff took a deep breath, suddenly winded. "Ooooooooooh. . ." He drew out his word. "About two and a half days."  
  
"Cliff!" I shrieked. "Why didn't you eat?!"  
  
"Ran out of money buying the ferry ticket." Cliff released Cain back into the air.  
  
"Mother!" I screeched, pushing past both of the boys and into the house.  
  
My mother rushed frantically from her position at the kitchen sink. "What? What happened?" she immediately wanted to know.  
  
"Cliff hasn't eaten in two days!" I blurted.  
  
"Goodness gracious!" she exclaimed, hands cupping her cheeks. "Good thing I didn't give that last bit of oatmeal to your father! I was just going to throw it away! Cliff, honey, come back in here and eat this oatmeal!"  
  
Cliff in was in the room in the blink of an eye. "Thanks so much Aunt Sasha," he said, obviously sincere in his gratitude. He seated himself immediately at the table. But what he did next was something very, very unexpected. He PRAYED. He prayed to something else. . .something that was very NOT the goddess. "Dear God," he began. "I thank You - "  
  
"GOD?!" the other three of us exclaimed suddenly.  
  
Cliff jumped visibly. "What?" was his instinctive reply.  
  
"What is. . .'God?'" Kai asked, a quizical expression spread across his face.  
  
"Uh. . ." Cliff was obviously shocked. "God as in the Redeemer, the Father, the Lord of lords, King of kings, Alpha, Omega, the Beginning, the End, my Savior - "  
  
"Cliff, honey," Mother interrupted. "I'd be glad to listen to your 'God talk' some time, but, honey, you'd best not mention anything of that matter when Uncle Gotz is around. . .hm?"  
  
I nodded. Talk of a 'God' or any Supreme Being besides our 'goddess' was strictly forbidden in our household. I had heard extraordinary arguments go on between my father and old Pappy. The old man simply would not give up, pleading constantly with Daddy to "come to the light" or to "leave his dark, sinful life" or to come to know some unheard-of name: Jesus. Daddy had ferociously fought to defend his precious goddess, the one who had seemingly brought him such great blessings as the vineyard he now owned. I had shaken my head at this, once more doubting the powers of our "great goddess." Didn't Daddy see what trouble our vineyard was in?  
  
Cliff was silent.  
  
"Cliff." Mother's tone softened. "Promise me you won't mention this to Uncle Gotz. He becomes angry at this sort of thing, dear. I don't want you to have to leave."  
  
Cliff's expression became one of surprise. "I promise," he said, but there was a hint of doubt in his eyes. "But, Aunt Sasha, I want you to know: I am a follower of Christ Jesus, and nothing. . .NOTHING. . .can ever change that."  
  
After respectfully nodding, Mother busied herself cooking more and more food for the nearly starved young man. After scarfing down the oatmeal, a bowl of instant macaroni, three baked potatoes, and a half-carton of frozen yogurt and drinking multiple glasses of OJ and water, Cliff announced he was ready. I sighed, glaring at the clock. "It's noon," I stated monotonously.  
  
"Yeah, I know!" Cliff lept from his seat, re-energized. "Let's hit the road!"  
  
"I think I'll pass," Kai said, emerging from his bedroom. "Feelin' kinda hungry myself. You two go ahead."  
  
"'kay." I grabbed Cliff's arm and we headed out the door. "Bye, Mother!"  
  
"Thanks again, Aunt Sasha, it was delicious!" Cliff called before letting the door slam shut behind him. We met Cain at the gate and started toward Green Ranch. I had an idea of who'd want to meet Cliff first.  
  
~oOo~  
  
"So, what do you think?" I asked Ann excitedly after introducing her to Cliff.  
  
My best friend looked over in Cliff's direction, and I noticed she was sort of glaring. My eyes found what she was looking at, and I grimaced. Cliff was feeding Cain. It wouldn't have been bad; Ann loves animals! But, looking closer, I saw that what Cain was eating was nothing other than a young white rabbit.  
  
"Uh, Ann - " I began.  
  
But she interrupted in a voice dripping with sarcasm. "Gee, Karen, I don't know. He just seems a little, you know. . .EVIL!"  
  
"Ann, let me explain. You see, falcons are carniv - "  
  
"Karen! Your cousin just ended the life of a young, beautiful, innocent bunny rabbit so he could feed his outrageously, hideously ugly old bird! What did the bunny ever do to him? What did the bunny do to make that, that, that THING want to eat her?!" Ann's face was red with fury.  
  
"It's the way the food chain goes, Ann!" I said, trying to be calm. I had thought Ann and Cliff would really hit it off, but I guessed I'd been proven wrong.  
  
My friend disregarded my comment and angrily tapped her foot and crossed her arms. "I guess so. The bird has to eat, too. Fine, you're right."  
  
I was a little surprised that Ann didn't put up a fight, but I tried not to look it. "Thank you. Just please try to be nice."  
  
Ann sighed and shrugged. "Ok, I will." She started walking toward Cliff after the bird was finished eating. "So, Cliff. . ." She continued chatting with Cliff, but I didn't listen. I didn't want to interrupt.  
  
I heard a door open and close behind me. "Karen?" a voice said.  
  
I spun around. "Hi, Gray."  
  
Gray nodded in response. "Who's he?" he said, motioning to Cliff.  
  
"Uh, that's my cousin Cliff."  
  
"Why is he hanging around Ann?"  
  
Gray started to take a step forward, but I held up my arms and kept him from doing so. "They're just having a friendly conversation, Gray! It's ok!"  
  
The orange-haired young man was quiet for a second. "Fine," he said softly.  
  
I shook my head. Gray had always been over-protective of Ann. Ever since we were little kids, there hadn't been a time when Gray didn't know where Ann was or who she was with. It was actually kind of scary.  
  
"So. . ." I said, suddenly a little nervous. "How are you?" I stammered. I had the biggest crush on Gray, and Ann said he liked me, too. But I was still anxiously awaiting his confession. I wanted so badly to tell Gray how I felt, but my mother had warned me over and over that that would only lead to heartbreak. I had to agree with her. Besides, it was always the boy's job to tell first.  
  
Gray looked at the ground, and I could tell he was a little nervous, too. "Fine," he said plainly. "You?"  
  
"Fine." I scratched my head. Silence fell between us for a moment.  
  
"Listen, uh. . ." Gray fiddled with his cap. "I, um, I want to tell you. . ."  
  
Muscles tightened all over my body; my fingernails dug hard into my palms as I clenched my fists nervously.  
  
Gray kind of smiled at me. "I want to tell you that I - "  
  
"Hey, Karen!" Cliff called from his spot near the fence.  
  
I closed my eyes, frustrated. "Yeah," I said plainly, eyes still closed, body still in the same tight position.  
  
"Ann says I should meet some more people in the village!"  
  
I sensed Ann looking in my direction. "Cliff!" she shrieked. "Can't you see Gray and Karen are talking?!"  
  
"Sorr-EE!" Cliff said sarcastically.  
  
I turned around to face the two. "It's ok," I lied. I faced Gray again and looked him in the eye, as if I hadn't been anticipating what he was about to say at all. "Want to come with us?" I asked with a smile. "You should get to know Cliff with us."  
  
Gray grinned and started to nod, but his father, Doug Green, emerged from the house. "Gray, I need you to-. . .Oh, hello, Karen. How are you doing, honey?"  
  
"Just fine!" I replied gregariously. "And you?"  
  
"Great!" Mr. Green responded politely. He turned toward Gray again. "Gray, I need you to clean out the horses' stalls. They've been waiting all week, son! Why haven't you done them?"  
  
"Sorry, Dad," Gray apologized respectfully. "I'll get to them right away."  
  
"It's alright, son," Mr. Green said. "The broom is in the shed."  
  
I was dumfounded. How did Gray and Doug get along so well? They hadn't even fought! Gray hadn't even defended himself against the accusation! Mr. Green hadn't even shouted! I couldn't help but think about what had happened a few months before, when my father had gotten so angry with me.  
  
**A FEW MONTHS BEFORE**  
  
"Karen!!!" Daddy yelled forcefully from the wine cellar. "KAREN!"  
  
I hurried from my position near the old tree in back of the tree grove. "What?" I said rudely, with a touch of disrespectfulness.  
  
"Whyisyourstupidstuffstillinthiswinecellarafteraweekyouareinbigtroubleyoungl ady!"  
  
I stared at him, scarcely blinking. "What?" I asked, hands on my hips, defying his authority with sour body language.  
  
"Karen Andreya Mundell, I know for a fact that you heard and understood me!" My father leaned his head toward me, as if he thought he could scare me.  
  
But he couldn't. "HowcouldIunderstandyouwhenyouaretalkinglikethis?!"  
  
"Well, let me clarify!" he shouted angrily. "Last week I very graciously allowed you to have your friend over to spend the night. Then you very ungratefully took advantage of your privelege, and the the two of you filled the wine cellar with your junk! And it is STILL THERE!!!"  
  
"I am SO SORRY, dearest Daddy!" I screamed, my words filled to the rim with sarcasm. "I didn't know you cared about the vineyard so much! After all, it's pretty hard to tell when YOU'RE SUCH A JERK!"  
  
**BACK TO NORMAL TIME**  
  
After that comment, I got a hard spanking (even though I was fourteen years old) and a long restriction from television. I hadn't spoken to my daddy like that since then. I was too afraid that I'd get whooped again. However, my feelings hadn't changed. My dad was still the same fat, sloppy, bearded, hard-headed, stubborn, inconsiderate, controlling old fart. Sometimes I wondered if the bum even had feelings. He had done a good job, though, keeping the promise he had made to me three years before. He only went to the bar on special occasions, and then he limited himself to only two beers or one glass of wine.  
  
The front door of the Greens' house closing with a click behind Mr. Green snapped me back to the present. Gray was looking at me with disappointed eyes. "Sorry, I can't go, Karen."  
  
I was really disappointed. Was he about to say what I thought he was about to say? Now I'd never know. But I shrugged and told him, "It's no big deal."  
  
Gray stared me in the eye, as if to say, "It is to me."  
  
It was one of those moments where you go, "Awww!"  
  
But I restrained the urge and smiled hopefully. "Catcha later. At the bar, maybe," I joked.  
  
"Karen!" Gray laughed. "See ya."  
  
"Bye." When I had walked over to where Cliff and Ann were standing, my fiery carrot-top friend was still angry with my cousin for interrupting. "It's alright, Ann," I said calmly.  
  
"But. . ." Ann paused, a bit confused. "Was he about to say what I'm thinkin' he was about to say?"  
  
I shrugged my shoulders but gave her a look that said, "I think so."  
  
Ann rounded her mouth into the shape of a Lifesaver and said, "Oooooh!"  
  
I forced myself to giggle. I was kind of upset that Gray couldn't come with us, and really afraid that he might never get up the courage to tell me how he felt again. I think Ann understood because she didn't mention the topic again as we walked the dusty road to the lower portion of Flower Bud Village.  
  
When we arrived, we found four-year-old Stu and five year-old Kent (grandsons of the old Potion Shop dealer) running wildly about. I guessed they were playing their own two-person version of tag. "Hey, guys!" Ann greeted them enthusiastically. She's always loved little kids.  
  
The boys waved and mumbled their greetings before returning to their game.  
  
"Tag is funner with three people," Ann explained, kneeling down so she could have level eye contact with the children. "Why don't you get little May to play with you?"  
  
"Aw, May's just a baby!" Kent replied. "Besides, we're not playing tag! This is cops and robbers!" Then he glared at his brother and reminded him that he got to be the robber next.  
  
Ann, Cliff, and I just laughed. "Cliff, this is Kent and Stu. The potion shop dealer is their grandfather, but you can meet him later," I explained. "Kent and Stu!" I called, interrupting their game, and having to use a loud voice so they could hear me. "Meet my cousin Cliff."  
  
They nodded and said hi, once again focused on their playful game.  
  
We walked on until we were in front of the midwife's house. Ann explained, "Baby May is probably in there with her grandmother, the midwife."  
  
"Midwife?" Cliff asked, a little surprised. "You mean. . .you people don't just go to the hospital to get babies delivered?"  
  
Ann and I laughed. "Uh, honey," I said, with an amused smile on my face. "There is no hospital here."  
  
"If you're pregnant, you go to the midwife," Ann explained. "If you're sick, you go to the potion shop dealer."  
  
"And drink potions?" Cliff asked, a hint of doubt in his voice.  
  
"No," Ann and I said in unison.  
  
Cliff shook his head and massaged his temples. "This is confusing."  
  
"Yeah, we know," Ann said.  
  
"The 'potion shop dealer' really just makes medicines. Way back when, they used to think the medicine was magical because of its healing power. So I guess the name just stuck with it," I concluded.  
  
Cliff was silent for a moment. "Right," he finally said, with a smile. "This place sure is different," he laughed.  
  
"Anyways, baby May is probably in there right now because her daddy is at work right now. And she's is only two years old! She's such a cutie!" Ann said happily.  
  
I rolled my eyes, but had to agree.  
  
We kept walking until we reached the mayor's house. It was pretty big in comparison with the majority of other homes in Flower Bud. However, I had to admit that mine was bigger. It was a nice house though, I knew. Ann and I took Cliff inside and introduced him to the mayor and his wife. They made small talk for a little while, and then we moved on. "They seemed nice," Cliff said, as we made our way to the library.  
  
"Yeah, they are," Ann said. "They have a daughter, too. She works here at the library part-time. She'll probably own the library one day. She's a sweetie."  
  
Cliff nodded as we walked inside the small, cozy building. We found Maria stacking books in the juvenile fiction section. "Hello, Karen, Ann," she said in a friendly tone of voice.  
  
"Hi, Maria!" Ann greeted warmly. "This is Karen's cousin, Cliff. He'll be staying in Flower Bud for a while."  
  
"Oh, w-w-well, it's, um, it's nice to meet you, C-Cliff." Maria laughed nervously.  
  
I shook my head and smiled. Maria was always so shy, and often found herself nervous in front of new people.  
  
Cliff returned the comment, and we said good-bye. I knew my cousin realized Maria's shyness, but I thought it was sweet of him not to say anything about it. All he said was, "Yeah, she's nice."  
  
We moved on quickly, because the sun was starting to dip closer and closer to the horizon. As we walked, Ann and I introduced Cliff to Rick, who was about four years older than us and starting his own craft shop, Saibara, the old artisan next door, Duke, the bartender at the Inn, Brother Jacobson, who still served as our teacher, and Lillia, the local florist, as well as her husband Basil, the traveling botanist.  
  
While we were still chatting with Basil and Lillia, their daughter Popuri walked into the shop. After exchanging friendly greetings, Ann and I introduced Cliff. "He's my cousin," I explained after telling her his name. "He's staying until the end of fall."  
  
"Oh, that's nice! I'm Popuri." She held out her hand, and he shook it gregariously.  
  
"Well, we'd better go," Ann said. After saying good-bye, we headed out the door and across the sidewalk to the bakery. When we arrived, we noticed right away that it was busy. People were sitting around at the tables outside, munching on cakes and pies, sipping their tea as they socialized with friends. Upon opening the door, we saw that it was just as busy inside. There were quite a few people waiting in line for Jeff, who worked part-time at the bakery, to take their order.  
  
"Elli!" Ann and I both cried when we got through the door. With big smiles and happy greetings, we embraced our good friend.  
  
"Girls!" Elli exclaimed. "How have you two been?"  
  
"Great!" I said.  
  
"Wonderful," Ann added with a grin.  
  
"That's good," Elli said. "Y'all want some cake or something?"  
  
"Sure!" Ann exclaimed, pulling out a few coins. [A/N: I know in the game that cakes cost 300G but I think that's ridiculous, and it's my story so I'm changing it!] She turned to Cliff and I. "My treat!"  
  
"Thanks, Ann," I said, looking at Cliff. "I don't know. . .Cliff scarfed down enough food to feed the whole village today at lunch. You up to it, Cliffy-boy?"  
  
Cliff rubbed his tummy and chuckled. "You can never have too much!" he said, making Ann and I laugh.  
  
Elli's head popped up from behind the counter. She walked up to us, wiping her doughy hands off on her white apron, saying, "I'm sorry! My name is Elli!" She held out her now clean hand for Cliff to shake. Then she pointed back behind the counter, where her grandmother was hurrying back through the kitchen door to bake another order. "That's my grandma, aka Granny Ellen."  
  
"Cliff," my cousin responded. "I'm Karen's cousin from Arizona."  
  
Elli still talked as she walked back behind the counter to put Ann's coins in a drawer. "That's interesting! Maybe I can meet y'all later, and we can chat!"  
  
"Sounds like a plan!" Ann replied happily.  
  
Elli nodded and grinned. "Alright! Crossroads at six?" The crossing of paths between Flower Bud Village, Moon Mountain, the Vineyard, the beach, and the Green Ranch was the general meeting place for our small island's inhabitants. It was the easiest place for everyone to get to; you have to come through to get anywhere.  
  
After confirming Elli's suggestion, we let her get back to work. We seated ourselves at a small table near the wall, and within a few minutes, our cakes and pie were brought out. I rubbed my hands together, eager to enjoy the spring-time taste of the veryberry pie I had ordered. My favorite!  
  
When Cliff bowed his head and closed his eyes before his scrumptious- looking white cake, Ann and I were caught off-guard. My cousin said nothing, but it was obvious that something was going on in his mind. Ann leaned towards me in her chair and whispered, "What's he doing?"  
  
I shrugged, letting my surprise at Cliff's sudden action show. I noticed that Cliff's rough hands were folded neatly on the table, and then it hit me. I leaned in Ann's direction, but before I could say anything, she guessed, "Is he praying?"  
  
"That's what I was going to say," I replied in a soft voice.  
  
"I didn't think he'd know anything about the goddess!" Ann whispered in disbelief.  
  
"He's not praying to the goddess," I tried to explain. "He believes in something different. Some God or something."  
  
"Like the Greek ones we study at school?" Ann's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "I thought they were only myths. I didn't think anyone still believed in them."  
  
Again, I shrugged. Before I could reply, Cliff ended his prayer and looked up at us. Ann spoke up before I had a chance to hush her. "What was that?"  
  
"Oh, I was blessing the food," Cliff explained. Ann and I glanced at each other, but my cousin, ignorant of our conversation, just forked a bit from his cake and ate it.  
  
I knew Ann was about to say something, so I said, "Ann, it's not really importan - "  
  
"Blessing the food?" Ann asked slowly, as if she was learning the words. She'd heard and said them all before, but never all in one sentence. "What do you mean?"  
  
Cliff swallowed his bite of cake and looked at us for a second. "Well, whenever I eat, I pray that God will bless the food to my body and make it a good nourishment."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, slow down," Ann said.  
  
"Ann, can we just drop the subject?" I asked, remembering my mother's warning.  
  
But Ann just kept going, ignoring my suggestion. "Who is 'God?' I thought all the Greek gods had names and stuff."  
  
"He's not a Greek god," Cliff said. "He's not a myth. He's real. He is the One who created the earth and everything in, on, and around it."  
  
"You mean you think someone created us?"  
  
"Yeah. Why, what do you think?"  
  
"I dunno. I've never really thought about it."  
  
"How can you never think about it? You live next to a mountain! And look at all the trees around you! And the OCEAN! Oh, the ocean. . ." Cliff paused for second and took a deep breath, as if he was just soaking up the beauty of it all. "You can't tell me you think it all just happened."  
  
"Look," Ann said, her voice firm and determined. "I don't know, and quite frankly, I don't care. I don't think it really matters how we got here. We're here, and that's that. Why do we need to know where everything came from? What good does it do?"  
  
By now, I'd given up trying to shush Ann. In fact, I was getting pretty interested in Cliff's theory. I kind of agreed that we didn't really need to know how we got here, but I was curious about what my cousin had to say. Had someone created us? How weird! It sounded extremely strange to me, but something inside me told me that I should look into it a little more.  
  
Cliff's mouth opened like he was on the verge of saying something, but I beat him to the punch. "Well, I think it kind of matters. I mean, I've always wondered about it. . .like, you know in class, how Brother J always tries to make us understand logic? Like 'Which came first, the chicken or the egg?' I mean, one of them had to come first! That question has always puzzled me."  
  
"It was the chicken," Cliff said bluntly, in a flat voice.  
  
I stared at him, not blinking, not saying anything. I was thinking about Cliff's idea, wondering how it could be the chicken. Didn't chickens hatch from eggs? But then again, SOMETHING has to lay the egg. I couldn't speak; I was too deep in thought. However, Ann was suddenly defensive. "How do YOU know?" she asked, obviously trying to contain her urge to scream out the proof of her point.  
  
"Because I have this." Cliff pulled a big book out of a large pocket in his pants that I didn't know he had. Somehow, I recognized the book, but I didn't know where from. This forgotten memory gave me something else to mull over, and once again, I found myself without words. Cliff opened up the book to the first few pages and read, "Genesis 1:24-25: 'And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. God made the wild animals each according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.'"  
  
"And what is that?" Ann inquired, pointing at Cliff's book. He held it out to her, and she snatched it from his hand. "'Holy Bible'?" she read from the front cover, raising her eyebrows doubtfully.  
  
I closed my curious eyes, my pastel-colored lips moving swiftly as I mouthed the words over and over, combing through my brain. 'Holy Bible. . .Holy Bible. . .Holy Bible. . .Where have I seen that before?'  
  
Once more, my thoughts were interrupted by Cliff's voice in response to Ann's demeaning inquiry. "Yes."  
  
"Oh, GOD-dess!" Ann cried out shrilly, putting extra emphasis on the first syllable of the word. Her voice was so loud that surrounding people glanced at our table in question of what was going on. But, my short-fused friend didn't seem to notice as she rolled her eyes, huffing out an angry breath. She threw her weight on the back of her chair, and crossed her arms across her midsection. After kind of an awkward pause, she said, "I'm sorry, Cliff. Can we please talk about something else?"  
  
I sighed, grateful. 'Sweet relief!' I thought. My head was pounding relentlessly from all the hard thinking that had come with such a provoking conversation topic. "Yes, please," I added, my voice unexpectedly pleading.  
  
Cliff scratched his head, his dark eyes suddenly covered by soft eyelids. "Yeah," he said, finally resting his chin on curled fingers, as if deep in thought.  
  
I felt the tension in the air, especially between my cousin and Ann, and immediately decided to banish it. "So, Cliff!" I said, to the obvious surprise of both of my tablemates. "Wanna hear about the Flower Festival?"  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
A/N: Whew! I am soooooo sorry about how long that took! It has been MONTHS! =[ Please forgive me! And don't forget to review! It's always helpful! 


	5. The Worst Day of My Life

The Worst Day of My Life  
  
Author's Note: Ok, here goes!! Thank you so much for y'all's kind reviews!! Without them, I probably would have quit this story a long time ago. Thank you!! =]  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Before the end of that Spring, my cousin met Pappy, and before long, they discovered something big. Both of them were Christians! Cliff made sure to stop by Pappy's farm at least three times a week. Together they had their little "Bible studies" and "discussions." The two of them pleaded with Ann, Gray, and I to come, to learn about "God" and "Jesus" and "salvation." Of course, Ann and Gray immediately declined, being part of such a religious, goddess-worshipping household. I contemplated for weeks whether I should go or not. That is, until one day, Dad caught me talking with Cliff about attending. He prohibitted me from going. . .ever.  
  
I was sure that Spring 23 would be the best day of my life, and it was for a very long time. Gray ended up asking me to go with him, and we went steady after that. I was certain that Gray and I were meant to be. I began to obsess over bridal magazines, marriage talk shows, and learning how to cook. After all, I was nearing the average age of marriage in my village: 17. Only a couple more years, and my father would be pressuring me into dates and dances, festivals and parties. I decided to beat him to the punch and go out with Gray until he gave me the blue feather.  
  
Before I knew it, it was summer, my favorite time of year. The season passed way too quickly for my liking, but I couldn't deny all the fun I had with Cliff and Ann and Gray. In fact, at the Firefly Festival, Gray did something I'd been waiting for for weeks. . .  
  
~oOo~  
  
*Summer 17, 8:00 PM*  
  
A light breeze made my soft brown hair sway to the side and brush against Gray's shoulder blades. The sky was dark, dark blue, starless and void. Tiny lights slowly made their way out to sea, riding the gentle waves gracefully in the night.  
  
The village people started to flock silently away from the beach, back to the cool of their home. But Gray and I didn't move from our place, sitting almost motionlessly on the edge of the dock. The humid summer air enveloped our bodies like a big, soft blanket. I was snuggled up close to Gray, my head on his shoulder, our fingers entwined.  
  
I looked up at him, moving my head ever so slowly, until the both of us were lost in each other's eyes. Before I knew it, my lips were millimeters from his. Gray moved even nearer, until his lips pressed gently against mine. The kiss lasted a few more seconds, until we parted, smiling softly at each other. And without a word, for it would break the perfect, pure silence, he walked me home with his hand around mine.  
  
~oOo~  
  
After that, everything was perfect.  
  
Gray and Cliff both entered the Sea Festival on the 24th. Even though neither of them brought home the Invincible Katori (heaven knows what that is), the two of them had a blast finishing in second and third place.  
  
Then suddenly, it was Autumn. All the grass in the village slowly died, browning dully without Summer's gratifying sunlight. The trees gradually lost their magnificent green, as their leaves turned red, orange, and yellow, tinting the village golden brown. All of the sudden, everything was dull and boring again, as school started back up, and I found myself in tenth grade.  
  
I attended the Cow Festival to see Ann's very own cow take first and Pappy's take second. The Harvest Festival came, much to my delight, and this year, I had a date! Gray escorted me to the square, where we danced and ate and laughed heartily. Then something wonderful happened just before they announced the King. To Ann's surprise, her long-time crush and almost boyfriend Kai asked her to go steady! Now everything was even more perfect.  
  
~oOo~  
  
"Woo-hoo!! Way to go, Pappy!!" I shouted with all the other villagers as my favorite farmer took the 500 Piece prize at the Egg Festival. Ann stood laughing and cheering on my left, with Kai at her side, Gray applauding loudly on my right. Cliff was slightly behind me, clapping cheerily.  
  
"He needed that wood," Ann explained to Kai and me. "Almost all his fenceposts are broken!! All the cows and sheep kept getting loose and eating his crops!!"  
  
I grinned; it was just like Ann to get excited about Pappy's animals. "Well, Kai and Cliff and I better go," I said, throwing a quick glance at the boys. "Dad wants us to help barrel up the grapes."  
  
Kai sighed disappointedly. "Don't worry about it," Ann said reassuringly. "I think our Dad wants us home to put the cows away. You know Dad: every Egg Festival he 'hurts his back!'"  
  
We laughed. Kai and Ann pecked each other on the cheek, and I gave Gray a quick kiss goodbye. Before we left, I heard Duke (the bartender) inviting Pappy to the bar for a big celebration party. I rolled my eyes; since when was the Egg Festival such a big deal?  
  
After exiting the village, I spotted Bear, Pappy's dog, running around the crossroads. "Hey, Bear!" I called. The old dog wagged his tail excitedly and began to waddle in my direction. The pup was so chubby, he could barely run! I laughed, "Whatcha doin' out here, boy?"  
  
Bear was doing his best to jump up and down in excitement. "Yeah, shouldn't you be back at the farm?" Kai added, kneeling down beside me to rub the little dog's ears.  
  
I looked at Kai. "Well, Pappy is going to the bar tonight for a party, and probably won't be home 'til late. We'll take Bear home."  
  
Kai smiled and nodded, snapping his fingers as a signal for Bear to follow. Cliff suddenly said he wanted to head out to the mountain for a walk. "Okay," we said, and away Cliff went.  
  
As we walked, Kai asked me, "So, you and Gray are pretty serious, huh?"  
  
I smiled. "Yeah. And not a minute too soon. I'll be seventeen in less than two years."  
  
Kai nodded. "Less than one year for me. But I guess I would have to wait another year for Ann."  
  
"Yup," I said. "Doug'll wait until the very last second to marry his children off."  
  
"Gray is already seventeen, isn't he?"  
  
"Will be in a couple of weeks." We were now at the entrance to the vineyard. I quickly put Bear away in the wine cellar and gave him some water and food.  
  
With that done, Kai and I headed out to the vineyard's tree grove, grabbed a couple of barrels and started picking. "So what about you and Ann?" I asked. When Kai looked at me quizzically, I continued. "Is she 'the one?'"  
  
My working partner blushed and fought a bashful smile.  
  
"Ooooh!" I teased when he didn't answer.  
  
He threw a bunch of grapes at me playfully, and I put them in my barrel. "I like her a lot," Kai finally said. "A whole lot."  
  
"Good." I reached up to pick another bunch of the purple grapes. "I'm glad."  
  
~oOo~  
  
That was the night I got attached to Bear. I sat in the wine cellar with Kai, playing with the chubby little ball of brown fur. His ears were still a little too long for his short, fat body, his paws a little too small for his round, stubby legs. It was hard not to giggle at his comical appearance and behavior. But I loved that dog to death.  
  
After a while, Kai and I decided to leave a note on Pappy's door explaining where Bear was. However, when we got there, we found him already at home. "Pappy!" I said, in mid-hug. "We weren't expecting you to be here. Thought you were at that big party."  
  
"Oh, I went, but things got a little out of hand. Little bit of a bar fight." Pappy's face grew unusually solumn.  
  
I winced. "Who was it?" Kai asked.  
  
"Don't worry, kids. It wasn't Gotz, or Mr. Green."  
  
Both of us let out a sigh of relief. Thankfully, Pappy changed the subject. "Well, thank you, kids, for grabbin' Bear off the crossroads. He must've squeezed right through the fenceposts! Another reason I need all that lumber."  
  
We laughed. "No problem, Pappy," I said. "We had fun with him."  
  
"Well, that's good," Pappy responded.  
  
"Good-bye!"  
  
"Bye, bye!"  
  
~oOo~  
  
A week later, it was the day of the local horse race. I sprinted hurriedly with Kai to the Green Ranch. Cliff had gone ahead to the square with my mom to help set up.  
  
"Gray!" I shouted, my voice echoing through the property. My boyfriend was standing outside his house with Ann beside him. I ran into his arms. "Gray, are you ready?" I asked, my voice loud and excited.  
  
"A bit nervous," he admitted. He returned my embrace, however, and pecked my cheek. "Let's go!" he said, and we all began to trot towards the village and into the square.  
  
When we neared the betting table, I squeezed Gray's hand reassuringly. "You can do it," I said, pressing my lips gently against his. "Good luck!" And I pushed him in the direction of the door.  
  
Kai looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "You love him, don't you?" he said aloud.  
  
I blushed dark pink, embaressed that he'd asked so loudly. "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do."  
  
Ann giggled cheerily. "Can I be the maid of honor?" she teased.  
  
"Shut up, Ann!" I hit her arm playfully.  
  
"I didn't know you two were that serious." Cliff's voice startled me from behind.  
  
I turned around to face him. "Well, now you do." I decided to change the subject; it felt odd getting so much attention. "Hey, Mrs. Anna!" I called to the mayor's wife. "I'd like to bet 100G on Cliffguard!"  
  
"That's a very smart choice, Miss Mundell!" said Anna cheerfully. "I'll mark it down. Thank you!"  
  
I smiled. Everyone was always so happy at the horse or dog races. That was part of the reason I even attended. But this year. . .This year I was going for Gray.  
  
Ann, Cliff, and Kai also placed bets on Cliffguard, and the four of us hurriedly followed the crowd into the "stadium." Pushing past multiple villagers, we scurried down to the very bottom of the bleachers and stood leaning against the metal railing. That was as close as anyone was allowed to get to the racetrack, except of course the racers and people who organized this type of festival.  
  
Within minutes, it seemed the entire village had found a spot on the bleachers or along the railing. Suddenly, the mayor's voice erupted from the speakers very loudly. "Greetings, everyone! Welcome to Flower Bud Village's Biannual Horse Race!" Everyone cheered and applauded noisily. "In our first race, the competitors are: . . ." The mayor proceeded to list off the first five racers, and then: ". . .and last, but not least: Gray Green riding Cliffguard from the Green Ranch!"  
  
The four of us screamed and shouted and cheered boisterously with many of the other villagers.  
  
"Take your places, racers!" the mayor commanded excitedly. "On your marks!"  
  
My heart skipped a beat, then pounded three times too many.  
  
"Get set!"  
  
I felt Ann's breath almost halt as we squeezed each other tight. My stomach did a flip, but my eyes never left the track. I said a quick mental prayer to the goddess just as a loud whistle resounded throughout the stadium.  
  
I saw Cliffguard bolt foward with all the other horses. Gray looked so powerful and majestic on the horse's back, with his black helmet gleaming in light of the sun, his white jockey's pants reflecting the brilliant rays.  
  
"Oh, my goddess!" someone screamed, drawing my attention to the pony next to Cliffguard. It had spooked or something, and was now bucking and rearing madly. Cliffguard freaked out, rearing back. To our horror, Gray was thrown off Cliff's back.  
  
"GRAY!" Ann and I screeched together.  
  
"Oh, God!" Cliff murmured, not in vain, as he dropped to his knees.  
  
But I was too concerned with Gray to notice much of Cliff's action. "GRAY!" I screamed again.  
  
Suddenly, the horse to the right of Cliffguard bucked its own rider off, afterwards losing its balance. As it teetered, I shrieked in terror. I swear Ann's heartbeat ceased completely. Tears stung my eyes and burned all the way down my face. In a split second, the horse collapsed right down on Gray's legs.  
  
"GRAY! GRAY! GRAY!" I screamed, over and over. "Oh, goddess, someone help him!" I felt Ann go completely limp in my arms. She had passed out. "Oh, goddess. . ." I repeated. My head felt light, like a helium balloon about to float away. I saw black blobs everywhere.  
  
Then everything went deathly dark. "G r a y. . ." I murmured slowly. I felt my body hit the ground, and I lost all consciousness.  
  
~oOo~  
  
I awoke with a jolt. "GRAY!" I shrieked. I was lying on a bleacher. I saw Cliff's face above mine. "Oh, goddess, Cliff, where is GRAY?!"  
  
"Oh, Karen, thank God you're awake!" Cliff nudged something white behind him. Focusing my eyes, I realized it was Kai in his sparkling white shirt.  
  
"Cliff, answer my question! Where is GRAY?!" I screeched. My legs felt like Jell-O. My whole body felt like Jell-O.  
  
"They took him away on a stretcher," Cliff said, smoothing out my hair, rubbing a hand against my face. "It's going to be okay, Karen."  
  
"Oh, my goddess," I repeated for about the millionth time. Cliff's comforting hand helped to calm me down. "Where's Ann?" I asked, lowering my voice. I looked around to see that none of the villagers had really left the stadium yet.  
  
"She right here, Karen," I heard Kai's voice say.  
  
"Is she alright?" I inquired, sitting up.  
  
"Hold on," Kai said. "I think she's waking up." There was a brief silence. "Ann," he said. "Ann."  
  
"Kai," Ann's voice muttered. "Oh, Kai! Is Gray okay? Oh, goddess, Kai! That horse fell right on top of him! Is Gray okay? Kai!"  
  
"Ann, slow down," Kai said, his voice unexpectedly calm and reassuring. "It's okay. Cliff and I saw him being taken away on a stretcher."  
  
I spoke to Cliff, my voice low and soft. "My legs are like Jell-O, Cliff. But I need to see Gray. Help me up."  
  
"Karen, you really shouldn't get u-"  
  
"Cliff, help me up!" I said in a more commanding voice.  
  
He sighed and wrapped his thick arm around my shoulders, lifting me to my feet. I took a step and felt much better. Suddenly, I was sprinting out of the stadium. I heard Cliff hollering after me, and then his footsteps following me. I ran as fast as I could through the square, down the steps, and to the Potion Shop Dealer.  
  
I burst through the door, only to have the mayor's wife shove me back out. But not before I saw the potion shop dealer and the midwife standing over Gray's pale body. "Goddess, Anna! Let me in! He needs me!"  
  
I heard a muffled voice inside say, "Let her in." It was the midwife. "That's his girlfriend."  
  
I thanked the goddess for the midwife and threw the door open. I rushed to Gray's side. "Oh, Gray!" I whispered, grasping his hand with mine. His pale face was wrinkled up in what must have been unbearable pain. "Oh, goddess, is he paralyzed?" I asked the potion shop dealer.  
  
"No, thank the goddess," he said.  
  
I let out a breath of relief, literally thanking the goddess.  
  
"However, both the legs are broken, and his hip is cracked pretty badly," he continued as he quickly, carefully wrapped Gray's legs with cloth.  
  
I was silent, never taking my eyes away from Gray's.  
  
The midwife piped up. "He'll be bedridden for a couple seasons, then in a wheelchair for a long while. I've seen worse," she said. "The legs will heal quicker than you think, Hector," she added, talking to the potion shop dealer. "It's the hip that will take a while."  
  
"Whatever you say, Anella," Hector said. "This is such a miracle!" he added, to my surprise.  
  
"A miracle?" I spoke up finally. "How can you say that?"  
  
"Well, the way he fell, the neck could've easily broken, killing him instantly. But, miraculously, there's no breakage anywhere above his waist. He didn't even get a concussion."  
  
"Oh," I said.  
  
It was then that Ann and her father burst through the door, nearly breaking it off its hinges. I saw Kai and Cliff through the doorway, knowing they wouldn't be allowed to come in.  
  
Anna explained everything to Doug and Ann while Hector and Anella continued to wrap Gray's legs.  
  
In the midst of the explaining, there was a rapping noise on the door. "Karen," a voice said. I immediately recognized it as Pappy. "Come on out, Karen, I'll take you home."  
  
I reluctantly gave Gray's hand one last squeeze before walking out the door. I didn't want to leave, but I knew that it would be easier for everybody. I felt sorry for Ann; it had to be a lot worse for her and Doug.  
  
I wiped hot tears off my cheeks, to no avail. I couldn't calm the stream; all I could do was bury my face in Pappy's shirt when he embraced me. "It'll be alright, sweetheart," he said consolingly. "I'm sure Gray will be fine."  
  
Cliff and Kai also came along to Pappy's house. I thought everything would be all right when we got there, but I couldn't have been more wrong.  
  
When we walked into the house, I had every intention of collapsing onto the couch and letting the leftover tears run into a big pillow. However, I found Bear sleeping soundly on the cushion. This was even better than my prior intention. I reached my hand out to stroke his soft brown fur, but when I made contact, his skin was not warm or comforting like it had been before. It was cold. . .cold and limp. I put my hand on his stomach and felt no heaving breaths.  
  
"Oh, goddess!" I cried out. "Bear died!" I let myself fall back onto the hardwood floor and burst into tears. "Oh, goddess, why is this happening?" I muttered.  
  
Pappy rushed to my side and felt Bear's cold skin. I saw tears in his eyes when he looked at me again. "Oh, Karen. The goddess controls nothing."  
  
"But Bear died, Pappy! Bear died!" I repeated, more tears appearing all over my face with each word. I spread my arms out on the wood floor and just let my chest heave up and down as I sobbed uncontrollably. In between bursts of air from my lungs, I heard Cliff and Kai sniffling, probably holding back their own tears.  
  
I rolled over so that my forehead pressed hard against the wood. But Pappy lifted me off the ground and took me in his arms. I sobbed into his shoulder, my cries muffled by his shirt. "Oh, goddess. . ."  
  
~oOo~  
  
I stayed at Pappy's house with Cliff and Kai for hours. We buried Bear out by the well and had a little funeral. All of us said a little something about Bear and tossed five pink rose petals onto his grave. It seems kind of silly, but it was uncanny how much we all loved that little dog. It made me feel better to think that Bear had just been old, and that he'd had a much longer life than most dogs of his kind were supposed to. Bear had lived for almost ten years.  
  
After the funeral, Kai, Cliff, and I went inside to watch TV, and Pappy stayed outside making some kind of gravestone. Television didn't help much to make me feel better, but at least it distracted me for a little while. Cliff and Kai did a good job of keeping me from crying again, too.  
  
Hours passed, and after what seemed like forever, Ann came by the farm. We had decided not to tell her about Bear's death, yet. She didn't need that then. She came by to tell me that Gray wanted to see me. I walked slowly to the Green Ranch with Ann. I had a horrible headache from passing out and crying so much, but I wanted more than anything right then to see Gray.  
  
Ann opened the door to Gray's room for me. I stepped inside, terrified of what Gray might look like.  
  
He was lying on his bed with the TV on. He turned it off when he saw me come in. He had two bulky blue casts on his legs and a puffy pillow under his left hip. His eyes were puffy and red from crying, his hair messy and undone. I felt horrible for him.  
  
"Karen," he said plainly.  
  
"Gray, I'm so sorry!" I blurted. "If there's anything I can do. . ."  
  
"Karen," he repeated. I walked to his side and knelt down by the bed. "Thanks for being here for me."  
  
"Oh, Gray, don't worry about that. I don't need thanks," I said. "Gray. I love you."  
  
I thought I saw I tear rush down his cheek. He wiped at it quickly. "Karen, I can't love you."  
  
The words hit me like a ton of bricks. "W-wh-wha-"  
  
"I can't do anything. I can't ever love anyone. I can't ever get married. I hate to do this to you, but, this has to end. It's over." Gray rubbed his forehead.  
  
"No, Gray, you can!" I said, unintentionally raising my voice. "You can! We can get through this!"  
  
"No, Karen, YOU can get through this. I can't. You have a wonderful life ahead of you, Karen. You can dance PROFESSIONALLY. You are so beautiful. . .you can find yourself a husband worthy of you. You can make a name for yourself. You can't with me as your love. I would cripple you. Karen, it's over."  
  
"But, Gray, I love you!" Tears burned in my eyes for the gazillionth time today. "I love you!"  
  
"No you don't, Karen," Gray murmured. "I'm not. . .I'm not. . .I'm not worthy of your love."  
  
"But, Gray - "  
  
"I'm sorry, Karen. It's over."  
  
Tears poured like rain from my face. I stood up and walked out of there, with dead silence poisoning the air. I began to run when I got outside. Ann yelled after me, asking what was wrong. I felt bad for not answering, but I couldn't muster up enough voice to reply.  
  
As I ran to my house, I realized it was late. Really late. Almost ten o'clock. How had the time passed so quickly? I wondered to myself, but brushed the thought aside as I approched the vineyard. I knew Kai and Cliff were already back, and probably asleep. I shut the front door quietly behind me and tried not to sob for fear I might wake someone up. I started to tip-toe toward the stairs.  
  
Suddenly, I heard the front door open and slam shut. I turned around to see my very drunk father standing there. He flicked the light on, took one look at my face and loudly said, "Whatchu crying about, girl?!"  
  
"Daddy," I said in a low, quiet voice. "You. . .you broke your promise!"  
  
"What?" he asked obnoxiously.  
  
"You broke your promise!!" Just then, all my sadness turned to anger, and I lashed out at my father. "You promised you would never get drunk ever again! You broke your promise!"  
  
My father growled angrily. "RAAAH!!" he roared. I heard my mom's bedroom door open just before my dad struck me down with a strong fist.  
  
"NOOO!" Mother yelled.  
  
Dad's fist had made contact with basically the whole left side of my face. Blood poured from my nose and lip, and I felt a trickle from the corner of my eye, as I fell down onto the worn thin carpet. I shut my eyes quickly, pretending he'd knocked me out. Once again, tears stung my eyes relentlessly.  
  
My father didn't seem to notice Mother's frantic scream as he hollered at me again. "I lost 1,000G on that race! Don't I get to drink over that?!"  
  
"Don't you touch her, Gotz!" Mother shouted, her voice almost choked back by tears.  
  
"HUH!" Dad turned around, and I took this opportunity to protect my courageous mother.  
  
I swung my legs around until they hit the back of my father's ankles. He tumbled backwards onto the floor, hitting his head on the coffee table on the way down. Blood flowed from the back of his head and onto the ground. Thankfully, he was now unconscious.  
  
By now, Cliff and Kai had emerged from their room, armed with Kai's bedposts. I ran into my mother's arms and held onto her tight. "Let's get out of here before he wakes up," Mother said.  
  
I nodded and motioned for Kai and Cliff to follow us. I felt sorry for them. Kai hadn't seen anything like this for years, and Cliff hadn't known anything like this had ever happened. Both of them were obviously horrified.  
  
The four of us walked in silence to the Green Ranch. Cliff handed me a handkerchief to hold against my nose to stop the bleeding. I nodded thank you.  
  
When we arrived, Mother hesitantly knocked on the door to their house. When Mr. Green opened the door, he was obviously shocked. "Heavens, Sasha, what happened?"  
  
"Gotz," she said sadly. "That's what happened. He actually hit her this time."  
  
"Oh, my goddess," Doug said, letting us in. "Well, you boys can stay with Gray in his room. Go ahead. Sasha and Karen, you can stay with Ann."  
  
Suddenly, my best friend's bedroom door opened. "Oh, goddess, Karen!" She ran forward, without another word, and embraced me tightly. I held back more tears as I returned her hug. "Goddess curse your father!" she declared. "Sasha, you can sleep on the fouton. Dad and I will get Karen fixed up. You go right to bed."  
  
Mother smiled gratefully and opened the door again to Ann's room. "Thank you so much, Doug. You, too, Ann."  
  
The both of them smiled.  
  
Ann led me to the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and saw a huge blue bruise on the corner of my left eye. By now, the bleeding in my nose had stopped, and I felt hardly any pain there. My lip still bled, and Ann gave me a Kleenex to hold onto. She put some ointment on my eye and bandaged it up. "Thank goddess for you, Ann," I said.  
  
She gave a small smile. "It's no problem, Karen. Now let's go to bed."  
  
~oOo~  
  
Cliff left Flower Bud the next day. There were tearful good-byes and sorrowful hugs. I didn't know what I'd do without him.  
  
~oOo~  
  
After that horrible, wretched day. . .that very worst day of my entire life. . .I hardened. I became grumpy and crabby at all times of the day. I snapped at people and spoke cold words of hate to everyone, excluding Mother, Ann, Doug, Gray, Kai, Pappy, and the Midwife (I liked her).  
  
I was cold and sometimes even cruel. A lot of people didn't even like me anymore. Of course, people like Elli cut me some slack and were still very kind to me.  
  
But I was a monster. A mean, cold, spiteful monster.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Author's Note: I wrote almost all of this in one sitting!! It was so tiring!! Anyway, this was obviously a really sad chapter. But I still hope you kind of, maybe, sort of, halfway-or-more liked it. Please review and share your opinions!! 


	6. Bittersweet Seventeen

Bittersweet Seventeen  
  
Author's Note: Sorry I forgot the disclaimer last time. Oh, well, I guess. Thanks for your reviews! I love you guys!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon. Okay?  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
". . .Happy birthday, dear Karen!" my family and friends sang. "Happy birthday to YOU! Woo-hoo! Yeah, Karen!"  
  
It was Winter 29, my seventeenth birthday, and there I was at my very own party. The bar was jam-packed with people who had finally found an excuse to drink more than usual. But all my real friends were surrounding me at a table in the middle of the inn. Ann, Doug, Gray, Elli, Pappy, Kai, and the Midwife (who had become a dear friend to my family over the past years) all crowded around my table as Mother carefully placed a huge cake in front of me. Seventeen candles bordered the words, "Happy Sweet Seventeen, Karen!" In Flower Bud, turning seventeen was a much bigger deal than turning sixteen. I guessed it was because seventeen was the age of marriage.  
  
"Thanks, Mother," I said, as she took my hand. I could tell she was about to cry.  
  
"Make a wish, dear," she said, squeezing my fingers in hers.  
  
I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, secretly wished for true love, and blew all of the candles out at once. Everyone cheered and clapped loudly, patting me on the back or ruffling my hair. "Thanks, everyone!" I said to all my friends.  
  
"Oh, but, Karen!" Pappy said mischeviously. "We're not finished yet!" He, along with all the other people surrounding my table, pulled a neatly wrapped box from behind his back. "Presents!" they all shouted.  
  
"Oh, goddess!" I cried. "You guys weren't supposed to bring presents!"  
  
"But, we did!" Elli put in. "We love you, Karen!"  
  
I held back a tear of joy. It was great to know people still loved me.  
  
"Open mine first, Karen!" a little voice surprised me. It was little May, barely five years old, the Midwife's granddaughter. "It's from me and Grandma." She pushed a medium sized, flat present into my hands.  
  
"Okay," I said, unwrapping it carefully. It was a wooden picture frame with handpainted hearts and flowers all over it.  
  
"I painted it!" May declared, pointing both of her thumbs to her chest.  
  
"And it's beautiful," I said, wrapping an arm around May and squeezing her tightly. Inside the frame, I noticed, was a black and white picture of the Midwife and my grandmother. Obviously, the picture had been taken many, many years ago. The two young women in the photo had crowns of flowers on their heads and wore beautiful dresses, indicating that they were at the Flower Festival. "Thank you, ladies," I said, addressing both May and Anella.  
  
Next, Ann handed me a tiny box, blushing madly. I opened it excitedly, to find a pretty ring of sterling silver. On it was printed the word, "Forever."  
  
"It's a promise ring," my best friend explained sheepishly. "A promise that we'll be best friends forever."  
  
"Oh, Ann, come here!" I beckoned. I quickly wrapped my arms around her and squeezed her tightly. "Of course we will."  
  
After that, Elli gave me a wonderful chocolate cake recipe and a beautiful friendship bracelet. Gray, no longer in a wheelchair or crutches, bashfully handed me a brand new calendar with different beaches on each page. He knew I loved the beach.  
  
Doug gave me a gift certificate for the bakery he'd bought just for me. Kai jokingly gave me a purple bandana just like his, but reassuringly handed me a new wallet with 100G inside. Pappy's gift was one of my favorites. He had specially ordered a beautiful blue vase with intriguing designs carved all over it. "Oh, Pappy!" I cried. "It's beautiful. I'll have to find myself something to put in it!"  
  
"I don't think so," Pappy said, with a twinkle in his eye. And somehow, from behind his back he pulled a dazzling dozen pink roses. "They're still your favorite, aren't they?"  
  
"Oh, yes!" I exclaimed. "Thank you!"  
  
And then there was Mother's gift, my personal favorite. To my surprise, I unwrapped the oddly shaped box and found a new telephone for my room! "Oh, goddess, Mother!" I said, awestruck. "Thank you so much!" I enveloped her in a huge hug.  
  
"Now you can call Ann in the privacy of your own room!" she teased, ruffling my hair.  
  
"You're the best!" I pulled out of the hug to look at my new phone.  
  
Suddenly, my father appeared out of nowhere and gruffly said, "When I heard your mom was getting you a phone, I decided to get you this." With that, he handed me a furry blue cover (like the one on Legally Blonde, except a different color). "Sorry, it's not wrapped. I didn't have time."  
  
"It's okay, Dad," I said plainly. "Thank you." I silently let out a breath of relief. Thank goddess my father hadn't done something stupid, like not show up or buy himself a few pints of beer. For once, he was acting almost half-way like a normal father.  
  
Minutes passed, and soon everyone was chit-chatting amongst themselves. Mother cut the cake, and everyone got at least one slice. Of course, my one table was not big enough for all the people, so everyone started to meander over to different tables. But, seated at my table were Ann, Gray, Kai, and Elli.  
  
"Hey, Ann," Kai said, scooting his chair closer to hers. The two of them were still going out, of course. "It won't be long before you'll be having YOUR sweet seventeen party!"  
  
My best friend began to blush madly. I noticed again that she had a ring that matched the one she had just given me. I fiddled with mine, using my thumb to twirl it around on my right pinky finger. "Yeah, Ann!" I added, nudging her with my elbow.  
  
"So, Karen," Elli said, leaning forward in her chair. "Since you're seventeen now. . .have you got your eyes on someone?"  
  
"Goddess, Elli!" I mock shouted, blushing furiously. I playfully punched her shoulder, smiling shyly.  
  
"You know, Gray," Elli said. "It won't be long before you-know-who will be having this party!"  
  
Gray scowled. "Shut up!" he said.  
  
I looked at Ann, and she shrugged. No one could tell if he was joking or not.  
  
Gray, too, since that horrible day almost two years ago, had transformed into a cold, sharp intravert. He rarely spoke now, and when he did, it was usually to say something cruel or demeaning. I stared at him, my gaze not wavering. The potion shop dealer and the midwife had agreed that he was healed several seasons ago. However, Gray seemed to have a hard time pulling himself back together. No one knew if he struggled mentally, physically, or even both. Gray suddenly met my gaze for a split second, almost immediately averting his eyes. He never looked at me anymore. Not even when I spoke to him.  
  
"Hey, Duke!" I called, breaking the sudden awkward silence. "Howsa 'bout we dance?"  
  
Duke chuckled and flipped on the record player. The intro to a lively song began to fill the bar.  
  
"Elli," I said, nodding at her. "Let's dance!"  
  
She giggled, accepted my hand, and together we pranced out onto the floor. I saw Ann and Kai scurry to get into position beside us. Elli sang along with the music cheerfully, "Bum-buh-bum-buh-buh-duh-duh-duh!"  
  
I laughed as we danced, silly expressions spread across our faces. We danced a few more songs, until Duke announced that it was midnight, closing time. "See you tomorrow night," I said to him, gathering up all my wonderful gifts.  
  
"Bye, Karen, and happy birthday!" he called after me.  
  
I smiled at him before exiting the bar. Immediately, the cool rush of late winter enveloped my body, sending shivers through my body. I inhaled the chill air as my skin slowly adjusted to the night's cold atmosphere. I took a step, my boot crunching the thin snow. Winter was nearly over, and a new year would begin soon. I spotted Ann up ahead and took another squishy step in the snow.  
  
"Ann!" I hollered after my friend, who was already walking down the cobblestone path to the crossroads. She stopped to look at me. "Spend the night?" I asked.  
  
She grinned. "Of course!" She halted and waited for me to catch up to her. "Where's Kai?"  
  
"I think he's still back at the bar," I said.  
  
"Oh, good," she replied, much to my surprise.  
  
"What does that mean?" I inquired, cocking my head to the side as we began to walk.  
  
"It means I don't know if I want to marry him."  
  
I gasped softly. "Ann!"  
  
"I know," she said.  
  
"Hey, girls! Wait up!" a voice called. It was Kai, running after us.  
  
Ann looked at him, her eyes filled with fear and worry. Turning back to me, she whimpered softly.  
  
"Tell me when we get home," I whispered, trying to give her a reassuring smile.  
  
Ann nodded, turning her head to face Kai again. "Hey," she said softly.  
  
"Are you coming home with Karen again today?" he asked.  
  
"Yeah," Ann answered, nodding.  
  
"All right!" he exclaimed. "Maybe we can play a game or something?"  
  
"Um, well, I. . ." Ann seemed to want to say no, but I knew she couldn't find words.  
  
"Actually!" I interrupted, startling Kai. "We were kind of tired, and there's some stuff we need to talk about. You know. . .girl stuff."  
  
"Oh," Kai answered, seeming disappointed. "Okay, then."  
  
Ann nodded. An odd silence fell among us. "Oh, shoot!" Kai suddenly said. "I left my wallet back at the bar. I'm gonna run back and get it."  
  
"'Kay," we said, and Kai ran back off.  
  
"Let's hurry," I said, starting to jog with my friend up the dirt road to the vineyard. Our arms were still loaded with gifts and stuff from the party. When we finally arrived at my bedroom, we let all the goods fall into a noisy heap on the wood floor.  
  
I lent Ann some clothes, and we changed into our pajamas, locking my door and collapsing tiredly onto the bed. I wanted to act like it was no big deal, Ann's big news, but my insides burned with curiosity and impatience. "Ann," I murmured monotonously. "What's going on?"  
  
Ann sat up, the orangey lamplight covering her face, making it glow. Tears were filling her eyes. "I don't love him," she said, looking at her bare feet and hugging her knees.  
  
I stared at her with the understanding look in my eyes that all best friends have. I said nothing, for I knew she would tell all without me questioning her.  
  
"I don't think I ever have," she continued, a large tear escaping her eye. She quickly wiped it away. "He's a great guy and all, but I don't think he's the one for me. I'm afraid he'll take it the wrong way when I. . .when I. . .b-b-break. . .b-break up with him."  
  
"Oh, Ann," I said, reaching forward with my arms to envelope her thin body in a hug. "Oh, Ann, I'm so sorry."  
  
"I. . .I feel terrible," Ann said, trying furiously to protect her face from all the tears coming from her eyes.  
  
"Don't, Ann," I said, my hands grasping her shoulders gently. "Don't!"  
  
"B-b-but. . ." Ann stammered, taking extra breaths in between quiet sobs. "I think he wants to marry me! Like. . .like at your party. . .he made that comment about me turning seventeen next summer! I got the impression that he was anticipating a wedding. He'll hate me when I tell him I can't marry him!"  
  
"Ann!" I said. "Kai would never hate you! Never! You know just as well as I do that Kai would never, in a million years, hate you."  
  
"Well. . ." Ann mumbled, knowing I was right. "He'll be upset with me. Maybe even angry."  
  
"Those are just temporary emotions," I tried to console her. "He'll go through stages! First he's hurt and disappointed. Later, he'll probably be frustrated at him self, and maybe, honestly, a little upset with you. But he'll get over it, forgive you, forgive himself, and move on. . .which is what you should do, too." I paused, letting my words sink in.  
  
Ann's expression changed from one of worry to one of understanding. She looked at me, diamond blue eyes brimming with tears, which now occasionally spilled out onto her cheeks. She said nothing; she didn't have to.  
  
"You want my advice?" I asked, removing one hand from my friend's arm to pull a lock of blond hair behind my ear.  
  
"Of course," Ann replied, her voice a loud whisper.  
  
"Break up with him as soon as you can," I said, pushing from my mind my own bad memories, my own broken relationships, and my own shattered heart. I focused on Ann's problem, something I knew was burning holes in her insides right now. "There's no use living like this, even for a few more days. It'll give you (and Kai) a head start at moving on. . .starting over again. It'll be hard at first. . ."  
  
Ann nodded, wiping away a stray tear that had somehow found its way onto her gently freckled nose.  
  
I gave her a small, trustworthy smile. ". . .and you may want to burst into tears. . ."  
  
A tiny, tiny chuckle escaped Ann's lips as she rubbed her eyes with her open palms.  
  
". . .but I know you, Ann. If there's anyone out there who can get through anything this hard, it's you." I reached out my hand to smooth out her long sunset-colored hair, maintaining comfortable eye contact.  
  
"Thanks, Karen," Ann said, wrapping her arms around my neck. I rocked her gently until her quiet sobbing ceased completely. Around two o'clock, my mother came up to check on us. By then, the two of us had snuggled up within the puffy green covers of my bed.  
  
"Good night, girls," Mother said. "And sweet dreams." With that, she shut the door behind her, slowly closing up all the light that had filtered into the room.  
  
We left my bedside lamp on, allowing it to shed a homey orange glow upon my bedroom. For a moment, I turned my head away from Ann, toward my mid-sized window. I saw nothing but tree branches, but filtering through the entwined limbs and leaves was the dark night sky, a nice warm blanket that lovingly enveloped our island. I could just barely see some stars, most of them shining brightly like little fairies floating carelessly about the heavens.  
  
Turning back to Ann, I was startled to find her smiling at me. Her wavy strawberry hair was spread out all around her head like a lion's fiery mane. She blinked a few times, her long black eyelashes just brushing her freckled cheeks. "What are you smiling about?" I asked, noticing a mischevious dazzle in her ice blue eyes.  
  
Unsurprisingly, she ignored my question, instead, inquiring of me, "What - or who - are you thinking about?"  
  
I rolled my eyes but could not hide a faint shade of pink resonating from my cheeks. "What makes you think I'm thinking about someone?"  
  
It was Ann's turn to roll her eyes. "You're looking out your window like you expect some knight in shining armor to burst through and sweep you off your feet!"  
  
I stifled a laugh, not wanting to wake anyone else in the house. "Ann, you are something else," I said simply, burying my loosely crossed arms in the comforter. "How could you possibly determine that? I was just looking at the stars. . ." I explained, my voice trailing off towards the end.  
  
"Uh-huh," Ann said sarcastically. She paused momentarily. "After all, that IS what you wished for when you blew your candles out. . .isn't it?"  
  
I turned my head again, trying to hide a grin. "Well, I can't tell you!" I exclaimed in a soft voice. "Or else it won't come true!"  
  
"Watched Cinderella one too many times, sweetie?" she asked, tugging on my shoulder playfully.  
  
I laughed, punching her arm good-naturedly. As silence fell between us, I glanced at my dresser, which stood on the other side of my room, by the stairs. There was the blue vase Pappy had given me, filled with those lovely pink roses. Normally, during a moment like this, I would've prayed to the goddess for a special blessing on Pappy. But I didn't believe in her anymore. This was a secret; no one knew I cursed the goddess in my thoughts and actions; no one could tell I hated her with a burning passion. She had torn holes in my heart until it collapsed into a thousand tiny pieces like a shattered stained glass window.  
  
"Good night, Ann," I said, rolling over and closing my eyes.  
  
"'Night," she responded, flipping the small switch on the lamp. The room was now flooded with darkness, but it didn't matter: I had my eyes closed anyway.  
  
Sighing, I barely opened one eye, just enough so I could peer through my window, through the trees, until I saw a bright, glittering star. I made a wish. . .not one for me, but for a certain farmer. "Give him peace," I whispered, barely even audible to me, much less the girl next to me. "Good night, Pappy."  
  
~oOo~  
  
"K-karen." A feminine voice was echoing in my ear. "Karen, honey." It was Mother.  
  
I opened my eyes and first saw her strawberry blond hair, tucked, as usual, into a rosey bun. I squinted in the light of the sun that poured through the window and directly into my face. "Mother," I said, my voice still sleepy and raspy. I glanced at my digital clock on the nightstand. "Mother, it's seven o'clock!" I complained, pulling the sheets over my head.  
  
"Karen," she said again, simultaneously removing the covers from my face. "Honey, s-something. . .something h-happened."  
  
It was then that I noticed her eyes were full of tears. Her cheeks were red and sort of puffy. "Mother?" I said plainly.  
  
Ann was waking up now. "What's going on?" she asked innocently, sitting up to wipe the sleep from her eyes. She yawned and smiled until she noticed Mother's depressed look. "Sasha?"  
  
"Kids. . ." she said, obviously searching for words. "The mayor just paid us a visit. He brought some bad news."  
  
"Huh?" Ann and I said in unison, first looking at each other and then back to my mom.  
  
A tear escaped from her hazel brown eyes, and she quickly reached up to wipe it away. "Pappy. . .Pappy. . .he passed away."  
  
"Oh, goddess," Ann murmured, letting herself fall back onto her pillow.  
  
I was speechless. I closed my eyes in a vain attempt to stop the tears from coming. Thoughts hurried across my mind, getting lost, scattering madly about. I could not organize my feelings.  
  
"He died in his sleep," Mother said, restraining a sob. "Of natural causes. Honey, it was his time to go. He lived a very long, happy life."  
  
I began to sob uncontrollably. I felt the remains of my broken heart melting away into nothing. Ann wrapped her arms around me, and we cried together. Mother placed an arm on my shoulder, in an attempt to console me. I would not be consoled.  
  
Pappy was gone.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Author's Note: Yes, a shorter chapter, I know. But it's been a while since I updated, and I felt it would be better to go ahead and break this chapter and the next apart. I know this chapter was depressing, also. But it's a sad story, and if I could put a third genre, it would be Tragedy. Anyways, please review!! It means soooooo much!! And if you are an author, too, you understand!! I love you guys so much!! :-) 


	7. The Will

The Will  
  
Amaya: Well, hey y'all!! How are y'all doing on this wonderful day? Thank you soooo much, those of you who so graciously reviewed this fic!! I love you so much, I will give each of you a shout-out!!  
  
Harvestboy2001 - Yeah, you better be following this!! Just kidding. I'm expecting some more reviews from you!! =P  
  
The Mewtwo Queen - Thank you honey bunches of oats for your sweet review!! Your approval means a lot to me!!  
  
DivinoDraco - Sorry it's been taking so long to update!! With school starting and everything, my free time has been reduced by a lot. Thanks for your review!!  
  
anime26angel - Thanks so much for your kind reviews!! I'm a HUGE fan of yours, believe me. Your review mean SO MUCH to me. Thank you!! Hugs and kisses!! :-)  
  
fairy-lights1 - Thankies to you, too!! From the bottom of my heart!!  
  
Lady Nailo - From the DEPTHS of my SOUL, thank you for your inspiring review!! It's that kind of encouragement that keeps me writing. Thank you SO MUCH.  
  
Laura Vogel - I completely agree that many things online are horrible stuff. . .I'll do anything I can to contribute to the rare good stuff you see. Thank you so much for your reviews.  
  
I AM ME/LCDM - You are one of my personal favorite reviewers. You always have something nice to say, or some constructive criticism to offer. Thanks for stickin' with me!! You have no idea how much that means to me!! I, too, noticed that Kent and Stu and the preacher all talk about God also, but I never really thought about it, just brushed it aside. I never really got the impression that they worshipped God, just acknowledged His presence. Although, in the story, I'm making it to where they know nothing of a God. Hey, it is my story!! Lol.  
  
farmerboy - I enjoyed your review, and I'm glad you enjoyed this fic. Thank you for adding me to your favorites' list!!  
  
fairyfriend - I love getting reviews from you!! You are so. . .so. . .COOL!! You've always got a little bit of joy to add to your reviews, and I just love 'em!! Thank you so much!!  
  
anonymous - Your review counts as one of my favorites, too!! Thank you honey bunches of oats!!  
  
ND - I didn't really enjoy reading either of your reviews, as they totally bashed God and everything He stands for. NOTHING is impossible with God (Luke 1:37), and the story is not finished yet. No need to jump to conclusions. I intend to keep the story as realistic as God leads me to. Again, God can do ANYTHING, even change the hearts of the older, hard-core goddess believers, and soften them. . .God can throw a mountain into the sea. Don't you believe He can move a village?  
  
Lynnika - I really loved your review!! I have ALWAYS believed Karen and Gray should be together, at least at one point in time. I finally got to make it happen!! Thank you!!  
  
Red Sonic - Oh - my - gosh. THANK YOU SO MUCH!! You completely made my day with your review!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! ***beams with happiness***  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
The air was crisp and pure, but the cold stung like needles. It was Spring 1, but thick clumps of snow were still piled around Flower Bud, dampening every inhabitant's spirits. . .as if our spirits weren't dampened enough. Normally, we'd be holding the New Year's Festival in the Town Square, but no one could find it in their hearts to postpone Pappy's funeral.  
  
Boots sloshing through the snow, I made my way to the square, accompanied by Mother and Kai. I hugged myself, teeth chattering from the near unbearable cold. Icicles hung, slowly melting, from the still barren trees; frost tinted the windows of every building visible. The sky was gray and gloomy, a perfect match for that day's sad mourning.  
  
I wasn't surprised, upon arrival at the Town Square, to see nearly everybody seated in rows of gray folding chairs, all facing an open, wooden casket. I quickly abandoned my mother and Kai, and found Ann. Sliding into the cold seat next to her, I reached out to grasp her hand with my fingers. We made eye contact, and a single tear escaped my jade green eyes, sliding down my face like a melted popsicle.  
  
An old microphone suddenly whirred and whistled as Brother Jacobson sorrowfully approached it, clearing his throat. "We have come together today as a village to mourn the loss of our beloved Joe Tandley: and to most of Flower Bud's people, our Pappy. But as we recall all the good times, as well as turbulent ones, we must remember that Joe would not want us to continually despair for his lost life."  
  
I nodded, knowing in full that Brother Jacobson's words were true. I sniffled, wiping a stray tear from my puffy red face. I touched a lock of my golden hair with my fingertips, reminded of how Pappy used to reach out with his old wrinkled hand and smooth it out, or gently push it back behind my ear. How I longed for him to do it just one more time. . .  
  
"He's right!" cried Hector, the Potion Shop Dealer.  
  
"Yeah!" shouted the Midwife. "This should be a joyful, cheery. . .good-bye party!"  
  
I tried to smile at their feeble attempts to lighten up the funeral. They had good intentions, I knew, but I just could not overcome the grief. . .the despair.  
  
Brother Jacobson smiled a little, again speaking into the rusty microphone. "If anyone would like to say something to or about our dear Pappy, feel free to step up and share." With that, he collected his sleeves and stepped away from the small platform that had been erected.  
  
Doug Green stepped up first, Ann leaving her seat to join him, followed shortly by the reluctant Gray. "Joe," Doug said, removing his black winter hat in respect. "You were a good man. Some good man you were, Joe. I just want you to know - " He paused, a hint of tears in his last few words, before sniffling and continuing, " - I hold the utmost respect for you." He nodded at Pappy's still body, which lay in the coffin, and stepped off the platform, directly into Hector's friendly embrace.  
  
Gray stepped up with a brief sentence of admiration. "Dad's right, Pappy. Everyone can look up to you. Thanks for all the good times." Wiping away what looked like a tear, he moved away from the mic.  
  
I took a breath as Ann cleared her throat, streaks of tears all down her face. "I love you, Pappy," she said, hardly able to compose herself. "I'll miss you. . .We'll all miss you. You were great, Pappy. Good-bye."  
  
I stood, walking forward to hug my friend tightly. She sobbed onto my shoulder for a moment, as several other people said a word or two about Pappy. I cupped her face in my hands, stroking her cheeks with my thumbs. "It's alright, Ann," I murmured, though I didn't know if I even believed my own words. "It's okay."  
  
Giving her another pat on the back, I strode up the platform, a pink rose in hand, in fact, one of the twelve he'd given me the night of my party. Carefully placing it upon his unmoving chest, I said, inaudibly to all other people (I was not at the microphone), "I'll miss you, Pappy. . .and I hope you know how much you meant, and still mean to me. I love you. Thank you for your lovely pink roses, and yes, they're still my favorite. They always will be." I planted a kiss on my own cold fingers, transferring it to his aged old face. "They always will be."  
  
As I stepped down, my eyes almost completely blurred with tears, I noticed a different face in the crowd, seated in the second row on the lefthand side. I nearly gasped aloud when I noticed he was wearing a blue and orange baseball cap very similar to Pappy's, and that he was staring straight at me. My first reaction was the thought that he was cute, but I pushed it aside. However, I could not help wondering who he was. . .  
  
~oOo~  
  
Later, all of us girls were gathered in Popuri's bedroom. Maria seated herself at a pink desk and sighed. "I was expecting the funeral to be longer and. . .-"  
  
"Drearier," Popuri finished, plopping down onto her bed, stretching herself out on her frontside.  
  
"Me, too." Elli nodded, patting Popuri's back soothingly.  
  
Ann and I said nothing, both of us sitting on a cute pink loveseat near the window. In fact, silence filled the room after Elli's words. Suddenly, Ann just burst into tears. She let herself fall into my arms, and, a bit startled at first, I caught her. The other three girls moved closer, and somehow, we all ended up in a big, five-person embrace. Soon, we were all crying. "Well, don't we look silly," Elli said, wiping away a handful of tears with a sniffle. She stood up, smiling through her puffy pink face.  
  
We all chuckled for a breath, each rubbing at our own watery eyes. Kleenex were soon passed around, providing a supply of relief and even a bit of consolace. After a few minutes of meaningless chatter, Popuri asked, "Did anyone see that boy?"  
  
"What boy?" Maria furrowed her dark eyebrows.  
  
"Yes, I saw him," Elli said, nodding a bit.  
  
"Me, too," I added, flopping down next to Ann on Popuri's bed.  
  
"I think I did," my freckled friend said uncertainly. "The guy with the blue hat and tan face?"  
  
"That's the one I saw," Popuri shrugged with a smile.  
  
"Oh, that boy!" Maria said. "Father says that's Pappy's grandson."  
  
"Really," Ann said, more of a statement than a question. "That explains why he's here."  
  
I cocked my head. 'Pappy's grandson?' I asked myself soundlessly. 'Did I know he had a grandson?'  
  
Elli must've been reading my mind. "Why does that sound so familiar?" she asked, eyes dotted with confusion.  
  
"Familiar?" Maria inquired.  
  
"What's familiar?" Popuri added curiously.  
  
"The fact that Pappy had a grandson," I said before Elli could reply.  
  
"Yeah," was all she could say as we stared at each other for a moment.  
  
"Hmm. . ." I murmured, deep in thought. I just couldn't remember. . .did I ever KNOW this grandson?  
  
The other three girls just brushed it aside, clearly not understanding what Elli and I were talking about. "Am I the only one who thinks he's absolutely adorable?" Popuri asked innocently.  
  
"Heck, no!" Ann declared with her usual fiery attitude. "Even I've gotta admit the guy's hot."  
  
Elli and I burst out laughing. Maria blushed shyly, saying, "He was pretty cute, now wasn't he?"  
  
Ann looked at Elli and me expectantly. "Don't you guys think he's, well. . ."  
  
"A sexy mama?" I jokingly finished for her. The entire five of us burst into uncontrollable laughter. The word "sexy" was rarely, if ever, said around this village. So it was undeniably funny (even to conservative people like Maria) if anyone said it. Hilarious, in fact.  
  
When the laughter subsided, Ann wiped happy tears from the corners of her eyes. She tried again, "Don't y'all think he's hot?"  
  
Elli just nodded, where I said, "Of course," with a grin.  
  
After moments of silence, Maria said, "My father told me not to say anything, but I was wondering: Are any of you girls going to be attending the reading of the will?"  
  
I reached in my pocket, just like the other three girls did, and pulled out an off-white sheet of paper with black print speckled on it. I'd received it in the mail this morning. It said:  
  
Miss Karen Mundell,  
  
At 4:00 PM in the church today, you are invited to attend the reading of Joe Tandley's will, as you are a specific part of it. In fact, I urge you to come. Thank you.  
  
Sincerely, Thomas Lopez, Mayor  
  
All of us held out our papers. "Okay, I guess you are," Maria said bashfully.  
  
"I wonder what Pappy left for US?" Elli thought aloud.  
  
"Probably just little things," Popuri replied. "Like books, or music, or old recipes, or pictures. . ."  
  
"You've been thinking about this, haven't you?" Ann said with a playful wink.  
  
Popuri smiled, but made no reply.  
  
I smiled a little too, but secretly wondered what Pappy had left for me. . .  
  
~oOo~  
  
"Good evening, folks. I'm glad you all are here," said the mayor, adjusting his red hat. He was standing behind the sort of pulpit; everyone stared almost unblinkingly at him. "We've got some business to cover."  
  
I looked around the full room quickly. Around me were all the girls and their families, along with my own mother and father. Also spread out amongst the church tables were Hector, Anella, Granny Ellen, and three small children: Kent, May, and Stu.  
  
Mayor Thomas was about to begin speaking again, but was interrupted by the loud creaking of the double doors behind us. I turned my head, along with all those around me, to see the "sexy mama" all of us had been talking about earlier. I got quite a good look at him before he took a seat next to the Potion Shop dealer. As he swiftly apologized for his lateness, I ran my emerald eyes over him curiously.  
  
I noticed right away that he had marvelous bone structure, and his face was, as Ann had said earlier, golden brown. His eyes were beautiful, a milk chocolate brown, filled with sorrow during this hard time, but also with compassion. Matted brown hair poked out a little from his cap, and I swore to myself I had seen this man (or BOY) before. But before I had a chance to think much about it, the mayor's voice grasped my attention once more.  
  
"Now, I know we've not dealt much with wills and such in the past, so this is all rather new, at least to my generation, and that of our growing teenagers." He paused for a moment, daring to smile at the group of us. Surprisingly, only one of the boys my age was present. I noticed only Gray.  
  
As the mayor continued, I was again pulled away from my thoughts. "Our dear Joe has left a lot for us to go through, but we've managed to get it done so we all could get this out of the way."  
  
I assumed "we" meant Mayor Thomas, his wife Anna, and the other elders of the village.  
  
Mayor Thomas opened up a folded piece of paper and began to read:  
  
"My dear loved ones:  
  
I am writing this will on the night of Winter 28."  
  
Everyone in the room gasped. That was only a few nights ago. Even Mayor Thomas Lopez seemed baffled, but he slowly started over.  
  
"My dear loved ones:  
  
I am writing this will on the night of Winter 28. God has told me in a dream that my passing will come soon."  
  
Again, the mayor paused, obvious surprised, just as the rest of us were. But this time, Mayor Thomas did not bother starting over, but instead picked up where he left off.  
  
"My friends, do not be burdened with sadness and grief when it happens. I just want you to know I lived a very long, happy life. You all have been an indescribable blessing to me.  
  
Well, to be quite honest, I don't know much about how this will-writing works, so I ask that you bear with me. My Lord has only informed me of the basic things I need to tell to each one of you. So, as I begin, please know that I love each of you unconditionally, and I always will.  
  
Where to begin? Why, with my very best friend, Hector Paulman. Hector, to you I leave my spare baseball cap. Ha, ha, ha!"  
  
At this, the Potion Shop dealer chuckled merrily, slapping his knee. I smiled to myself, knowing this was some sort of inside joke between the two.  
  
"Just joking with you, my old friend. Although you are certainly welcome to take the cap (it's in my toolbox, heaven knows why), God has commanded me also to leave to you my old Bible. It is filled with messy sidenotes, old written prayers, and unseemly smears, tears, and abrasions (all of which I know will drive you insane, you old perfectionist) but I, and God, would very much love to have you read it. The both of us know you rather well. We know you can read the whole of it in a month or less. Please get down to it, Hector. I love you, my friend. I love you so much."  
  
Tears now filled the potion shop dealer's eyes, and Anella patted his back consolingly.  
  
"And now I move on to the next person God has placed on my heart. Gotz Mundell."  
  
I, and everyone around me, jumped in startledness. Dad?  
  
"I know we never had much in common, Gotz. And that is most of the reason, God tells me, that I never could get through to you. How I wanted to share with you the gospel of Christ! I tried so hard, and a part of me thinks I must've touched your heart somehow. But as I have not been able to get this imporant message across to you, God has told me that someone else will be coming your way. Another disciple of Christ, a man of strong faith and courage. I, myself, do not know who this man is, but something tells me you and I both will soon find out.  
  
Now onto the part where I leave something for you. Gotz Mundell, I am giving to you the old bottle of wine I have saved so diligently since. . .oh, decades ago. Your mother, Eve, gave me this the night before she passed away. The label is, 'Forever Without Worry.' You will find it in the small cupboard behind my television. I love you, Gotz."  
  
For a moment, it looked as if my father was about to cry. He ran a hand through his bushy dark hair, apparently at a loss for words and action. I, myself, was puzzled by Pappy's written words. What was all this business of a dream? Had Pappy's so-called "God" really displayed all of this out for him?  
  
The mayor continued.  
  
"That brings me to my next loved one. Sasha Mundell, your sweet spirit and kind heart have both filled me with hope and kept me waking up in the morning. Thank you, Sasha. God has laid out the rules for your inheritance rather vividly. I, myself did not understand the meaning of this for a while, but now that I have figured it out, I can't wait until you do. To you, I leave the brown bag of seeds that is also stored in the back of my cupboard behind the television. This is also something your mother-in-law gave to me the night before her passing. God came to her, too, in a vision which told her to leave all of this to me, who would later leave it you and your family.  
  
Now listen carefully, Sasha. You are to take this bag of seeds and store it safely somewhere out of sight. And when Fall 30 comes this year, remove the seeds from their place and plant them where all the past year's trees have withered away. Sasha, I know this seems stupid, but just do it. It will pay off, my dear. It will pay off. I love you dearly, Sasha."  
  
Mother wiped a fingerful of tears away from her puffy pink cheeks. I wrapped an arm around her in attempts to soothe her spirit. But inside, I was anxious for Pappy's intentions for me.  
  
"And now, my sweetheart, Miss Karen Mundell. It is very interesting. . .God has revealed that the only thing I really need to do is leave you a special little something. It is to be kept just between you, me, and God, sweetheart, so don't disappoint me. You'll be able to find it when you go with your parents to look behind the television set.  
  
I am joyful to say that God has left it up to me to decide on some material thing to leave behind for you. I have debated about this topic for at least an hour, but I've finally decided on letting you have my entire photo album. It contains sweet memories, candid photos as well as posed, that I think you will largely enjoy. It has grown bigger and bigger over the forty years I have owned it, as I've added pages and pages and pages. Quite a few of these pictures I know you will recognize and remember, and a lot of them will take some inquiring of your mother or some elders of the town. I am sure you will enjoy it, as I have. I also leave to you my collection of ballet music. I received this, too, from your grandmother just before she died. I'm telling you, sweetheart, God has this all figured out. Although I don't think this will have near as much meaning as your mother's inheritance, I know you will enjoy it and be able to practice your beautiful dancing to its sweet, melodic tunes.  
  
Sweetheart, I love you from the bottom of my heart. You have given me such joy all these years we've been around each other. I'll never forget your pink roses, as long as you never forget that special time we had together at the Harvest Festival those few years ago. Again, I love you. Good-bye, sweetheart."  
  
Eyes welling up with tears, I accepted a consoling embrace from my mother. Ann squeezed my arm gently as if to say that she was there for me. I wondered what the "special thing" was that Pappy mentioned. Whatever it was, I didn't consider myself quite ready to look into it yet. I decided that after the reading was over, I'd head over to the farm with my parents and grab the stuff, immediately leaving. I couldn't bear the thought of seeing the farm for more than a few seconds. It was filled too much with both happy and sad memories. . .memories of Pappy and the years we spent as friends. My hands shook. I was scared.  
  
Stroking my hair soothingly, Ann cradled my head as the mayor continued monotonously. Various items and gifts were left to what seemed to be random villagers and friends of Pappy's. Mayor Thomas read through the Midwife's section, as well as Granny Ellen's before speaking on about Elli's inheritance.  
  
"Ah, Elli. Such a meek, humble, and gentle spirit God has blessed you with."  
  
Again, the entire assembly fidgeted in their seats. All this talk of God and "dreams" and "visions" was beginning to make us all nervous. I particularly noticed Doug Green getting jumpy, wiping his brow every once in a while, rubbing his forehead anxiously. Never-the-less, Mayor Thomas kept going.  
  
"I have a special something for you also, which I expect to be kept a secret between us. You'll find it in the coffee table; just open it up and you'll find it, along with the items God has allowed me to leave you. In there, you'll find that stuffed animal you gave me so many years ago. Tell me you still remember Snuffy? Ha, ha, ha! And I mustn't forget. . .I finally found the videos you wanted to see so badly. The ones from my wedding, and 30th anniversary, along with miscellaneous recordings. I even have some of you with the other girls and boys when y'all were just little tots! There are at least six of them, I think. The videos you may share with your friends and loved ones, in fact, I encourage you to. Just keep that other special item between us, my dear. I love you deeply, Elli. God has many things in store for you."  
  
I spotted Elli staring sadly at her folded hands, which rested softly on her lap. Maria placed a hand on her shoulder while Popuri rubbed her back gently.  
  
Next, the mayor read through Basil's and Lillia's (the parents of Popuri) sections. Pappy had not left much for them; just a special formula for fertilizer, and a gardening book. He soon came to Popuri's section:  
  
"And now my sugar-pie Popuri! Ha, ha, ha. Your special something is in the second drawer in my chest of drawers next to the toolbox. Keep it to yourself, sugar-pie. God has plans for you. But I have something else for you, too. It's our special film from when you were just eight years old! Do you remember the Secret Garden? I hope you do. I leave that to you, as well as the book that goes with it. Also, you can keep my 'lucky watering can!' Ha ha ha! You really are a sweet girl, Popuri, and you have a wonderful life ahead of you. I love you dearly, sugar-pie."  
  
I noticed Popuri smiling sadly, obviously remembering all the things Pappy had mentioned.  
  
After that, the mayor read Anna's inheritance, along with his own, getting to Maria's quickly.  
  
"And to you, my Maria, I leave a special something tucked away in my little bookcase. It is to remain a secret between us, honey. But I also leave you something that I WANT you to share. You may have my entire bookcase, with everything in it. I have a multitude of books in there, little as it may seem, along with a few old movies I know you will enjoy. Take it back to your home, or even to the library if you wish. Maybe I even have some books you have not yet read? Ha, ha, ha!  
  
Maria, you must dare to dream. Make your dreams a reality. God can and will help you. I love you, honey."  
  
After that, the Mayor drearily continued on with Doug Green's inheritance. There was quite a lot for his part, although much of it seemed random and miscellaneous. Many of the items were little inside jokes (Doug and Pappy had been good friends) or memorabillia from years ago. At last, he came to Gray's part. Only two small things were left to the boy: Pappy's "special something" and what was left of Bear's old wooden doghouse. FINALLY, it was Ann's turn.  
  
"And now Ann Green, my own little red-headed pumpkin. You, too, get a special something; you will find it in my old rickety barn next to the feeding trough. As I have repeated so many times, this should remain discreet. But you, pumpkin, are allowed to share the things God has let me choose to give you. Do you remember Gretel? She was a very old horse when you were born, but I think you were about four when she died. She used to be my pony; I would ride her around the Moonlit Farm everyday, and I even entered her in the horse races for two years. You get to keep her old bridle, and saddle, and the rest of the tack and stuff I used for her. You will get good use of it, old as it is. You may also keep Bear's old collar, even though it was more of a bandana. It is kept with Gretel's old tack; you will find it there.  
  
God has magnificent things in store for you; so don't miss it. I love you, pumpkin."  
  
Ann's eyes were watery when I looked at her. "I remember," she whispered tearfully.  
  
"Gretel?" I asked in a nearly inaudible voice.  
  
"Yes," she answered, hanging her head sadly. "She was a good pony."  
  
I didn't remember anything about Pappy's old horse. I never knew he ever had one.  
  
As Mayor Thomas began to read Kent's inheritance, I wondered when the grandson's chapter would come along. What had Pappy left for him? Where was Pappy's son? Would he be coming? Would they be staying? What were they planning to do? So many questions crowded into my mind, and I zoned out.  
  
That is, until the Mayor's words jerked me back to attention. I guessed he'd already read what May and Stu would get also. And now I was anxious to hear what Pappy had to say about his son and grandson.  
  
"I know that my son Lyle will probably not be here to hear this, but I trust someone will tell him what I have to say. I have written most of it down in a letter, which he can find under the pillow on my bed. He gets half of the money I am leaving behind, which isn't much, to be honest. He will also receive my entire writing desk. I know he has always wanted it, and so I've waited until the very last second to tell him he can have it.  
  
And I tell you villagers -- "  
  
Everyone inhaled sharply in anticipation.  
  
" -- do NOT sell the Moonlit Farm for ANY reason. For this -- that is, the farm -- is what I leave to my grandson, Jack."  
  
Gasps and murmurs arose in the church, causing Mayor Thomas to pause in silence. I stole a glance at the grandson, "Jack," and saw that he was even more bewildered than any of us. Well, of course he was! He had just inherited the farm!  
  
"Oh, goddess," I said in shock.  
  
"You mean, THANK the goddess!" Ann corrected.  
  
I was confused. "Why?"  
  
"Because," Ann explained, "the last thing we need is for some factory or plant or shopping center to be built there. It's good that someone's taking over."  
  
"Remember, Ann," I said. "This 'Jack' guy can still sell it."  
  
"He won't," Ann replied doubtlessly. "Pappy said not to."  
  
I was about to say that Pappy had told the VILLAGERS not to, but the mayor had begun to hush the people so he could continue.  
  
"Jack, I know you are having doubts right now, but God and I know you can do it. You get my entire property: the farm, the house, the barn, the coop, the shed, the well, the field, everything, as well as the other half the money I am leaving behind. It's all yours. Anything in the house that I didn't give to anyone else belongs to you. Jack, I trust you not to sell the Moonlit Farm. I want you to run it. Move in and start getting it together. I apologize, Jack, because since I've gotten so old, I've stopped planting crops and sold all my animals. I couldn't take care of them. The field is now a mess. It's up to you to get it straightened out. You can do it.  
  
And so I bring this writing to an end. Again, I love you all dearly. God does too. So turn from your wicked ways of the goddess and give yourselves to God."  
  
The entire room burned with intense silence. I knew that the minds of the elders burned with rage that Pappy had "blasphemed" their goddess. I, personally, did not care. I hated the goddess anyway.  
  
"Good-bye, Flower Bud. May God bless you immensely. . .but more importantly, may you bless Him."  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: Yeah, I know it ended really abrubtly. Don't worry, the next chapter will pick up really close to where this one left off. I hope y'all enjoyed this!! Well, I know it was pretty hard to enjoy. . .how it was all sad and all. But anyway, please review!! 


	8. The Photo Album

The Photo Album  
  
Amaya: Thanks so much for reviewing!! I appreciate it so much!! I'm moving my personal thank you notes to the bottom, so don't think I'm trying to be mean by ignoring you!!  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own it.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
The cold weather still lingered in Flower Bud as the dawn of Spring 5 occured. Though all the snow had melted, a few reluctant icicles continued to dangle from rooftops and trees, windowsills and fences.  
  
I was already dressed at seven o'clock in the morning, in a longsleeved white tee shirt, my trademark purple vest, a comfortable pair of blue jeans, and my usual hiking boots. Stepping through my front door, I felt the cold morning dew on my feet and saw it dripping slowly down the half- dead blades of grass. But hope rekindled in my eyes as I noticed the sun peeking carefully over the horizon, waiting to melt all of late winter's chill away from our tiny island.  
  
Taking small, quick steps to warm my legs up, I briskly made my way to the Moonlit Farm. After the reading of Pappy's will those few days ago, I hadn't been able to muster up quite enough courage or strength to enter the old farm again. Too many sad memories. So now, as much as I dreaded visiting the place again, I knew in my heart that I was curious to see what Pappy, or even God, had intended for me.  
  
I'd been thinking a lot about God since the reading of Pappy's will. The old man seemed to have loved Him more than anything throughout the days he lived. Sometimes all he'd ever talked about had been "God's blessings," "God's rewards," "God's grace," "God's love." Was this God real, or had Pappy just been mistaken?  
  
I decided to put the thought on hold; I could play mind games with myself forever. The farm was beginning to come into focus. I stopped at the front gate and took a deep breath, holding back a bucket of tears. I rubbed my fingers together for a second, then slowly opened the gate, taking cautious strides inside. Something looked different. I realized that Gray had taken the remains of Bear's old doghouse, leaving an empty patch of dirt ground a few yards away from the big wooden shipping bin.  
  
THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. CRACK! Loud noises coming from the direction of the field repeated themselves again and again. I cautiously kept walking, tucking a few strands of stray hair behind my ear, out of my pale face. Suddenly, I heard the bark of a dog.  
  
A dog? What was a dog doing here?  
  
I nearly jumped out of my skin when a teeny-tiny brown dachshund puppy darted around the corner of the shack Pappy'd called a house. "Oh, goddess!" I muttered quietly as the yipping dog bounded toward me. Instinctively, I squatted down, my outstretched hands receiving the cold, moist feeling of wet grass. To my surprise, the puppy ran straight into my arms, but never stopped barking. It's shrill cries rang mercilessly in my eardrums, and without a second thought, I rushed into the farmhouse, letting the crummy wooden door shut quietly behind me.  
  
Finally, the dog quit barking. I checked to see that "it" was actually a "him," stroked his ears a bit, and set him down on the ground, where he raced about the room frantically, small pink tongue dangling out of his little mouth, ears that were too big blowing out behind his head. I noticed that he had no collar. 'Well, so much for finding his name,' I thought, finally taking a minute to look around at the house.  
  
The first thing I noticed was that Maria had taken the bookcase that used to sit in the corner by the television. I also saw that Pappy's tarnished old hand-me-down sofa had been replaced by a brand new brown leather loveseat that actually looked pretty decent. Various new pictures in decorative frames were hanging about the room, mostly above the unmade bed that had been moved to the far left corner. But the "dining table" was still sitting dead center, now with a blue and white checked tablecloth, with a small pot of Pink Cat Mint flowers on top.  
  
Walking toward the television, I saw that the little dachshund pup, thinner and shorter than my forearm, had made himself comfortable in between the lumps of sheets and pillows on the messy bed. I smiled at him, and he perked up his ears as if to smile back.  
  
The TV was easy to move out of the way, so I just slid it over to find a good-sized cabinet behind it. I opened it freely, and saw that my mom and dad had already come for their inheritance and left mine behind. There were about five casette tapes stacked atop each other next to the thickest photo album in the world. After shoving the tapes into my big vest pockets, I heaved the maroon-covered album into my arms. "Okay," I whispered to myself, "I guess I'm ready to go."  
  
On my way out, I noticed that the toolbox was wide open, and half the tools were missing. The new farmer must've been working pretty hard. When Pappy passed away, he left his field in ruins, rotting stumps dotting the landscape, lots of rocks and boulders scattered around, with weeds filling all the empty spaces. This Jack guy definitely had his work cut out for him.  
  
Before opening the door to leave, I made sure the puppy was asleep, and thankfully, he was. Still looking behind me to confirm that I'd gotten everything I needed, I walked out the door quietly. But when I turned my head fully around, I found myself eye to eye with Pappy's young grandson. I let out a yelp in surprise, but he just flashed a brave, manly look in his deep brown eyes. "What are you doing here?" he asked, resting his muscly arms on the doorframe, cornering me.  
  
I glared at him sharply, the monster in me threatening to appear. "Why do you care?"  
  
"Because this is my house," he said, softening his tone just a little. "Why are you here?" Then he noticed the photo album in my arms, and his eyes evolved from the daring glare to an understanding look.  
  
"I just came to get what Pappy left me," I replied, still not showing any traces of kindness. I lifted up the big maroon book for an instant so he could see.  
  
"You must be Carrie," he said, returning to a friendly expression and normal body position.  
  
"Karen," I corrected, my sharp voice piercing the cold morning air.  
  
"Oh, right. Your parents stopped by here a few days ago." He paused, then stuck out a hand. "I'm Jack, Pappy's grandson."  
  
"I know who you are," I responded rudely. I ignored his attempt at a handshake and shoved my way past him.  
  
"Wait a second," Jack's boyish voice called from a few feet behind me. Suddenly, I felt a soft, gentle hand grasping my upper arm. "You look familiar."  
  
"I get that a lot," I lied; no one looked like me except my dead grandmother.  
  
"No, you don't." He firmly pulled me a bit closer, so I was turned around to face him. "No one looks like you." He must've read my thoughts somehow. "Not even your mom."  
  
"Fine, so I look familiar. Big whoop." I forcefully whipped around on my heels and jerked my arm away from him. But again, the familiar yips of the little dachshund pup rang in my ears, and this time I felt his little teeth scratching my ankles.  
  
"Beanie!" Jack hollers at the dog. "Beanie, no!" Apparently, the dog "Beanie" had not been fully trained yet. Although he turned his head a bit at the sound of his name, he continued tearing at my jeans, all though he wasn't affecting them much.  
  
Finally, I turned around and easily picked him up with one arm. My cheeks radiated beet red, I know, when I swiftly strolled back to Jack. I handed the puppy to him, and he tucked him in the crook of his arm like a football. "He likes you," Jack said, his charming grin tugging at the corners of my own mouth.  
  
But I just flashed a sarcastic smile, and said, "Nice try." With that, I hurried off back home, lugging the big photo album all the way. I wasn't surprised to see Mother moping sadly around the kitchen, and Dad not even home. I'd gotten used to this state of home and usually ignored it. Today wasn't different.  
  
As I walked up the old staircase to my bedroom, curiosity and nervousness started building up in my mind. I wondered about the album, the music, and the "special something" Pappy supposedly left me. I couldn't figure out what the special something was, let alone where I could find it. Maybe it was hidden in the music, or tucked away in the photo album. Who knew?  
  
I couldn't wait to find out, hastily slamming my bedroom door behind me and kicking off my shoes into the closet. Leaping onto my neatly made green bedspread, I stretched my arms out to my night stand, where a little old tape player sat with dust crawling all over it. I selected a tape from my pocket with the label, "Fairies of the Night," and played it. The first song bounced with energy; I would have a fun time dancing to it later, when I felt like it. Looking closely at the case the tape had come in, I discovered that the name of this song was, "A Little Girl's Dream."  
  
I liked this song, and my favor for it only got stronger as the song went on. Soon, though, I opened up the album to the first page.  
  
The picture at the very top of the sheet was black and white, of a much younger, but still recognizable Pappy cheek to cheek with a dark-haired, dark-eyed woman who I remembered from some of Pappy's old framed pictures as his wife. A small tab below the picture read: "Dating Lyssa Mae." The photo next to it depicted Pappy with his same blue baseball cap, this time in mid-kiss with Lyssa Mae. There were four more pictures with the label "Dating Lyssa Mae": two with the couple slow dancing, one of the lovebirds at some sort of party, and the last one of the two of them dressed in fancy clothes with a lot of other well-dressed people. The latter had an extra label that read: "Paul and Eve's wedding." Now that I'd seen the label telling of the wedding between my grandfather and grandmother, I was able to recognize Hector, Anella, and Granny Ellen in the posed picture, each of them with their own partners.  
  
After those, there were pictures of Pappy and Lyssa Mae's engagement and wedding shower, each of them as cute as could be: snapshots as well as posed pictures. The most beautiful of all the photos were the ones from their actual wedding. Their faces were so full of happiness and cheer, hope and laughter. The church was dazzling, and the reception hall positively beamed a promising start. A lot of the pictures were of kisses and hugs, I noticed.  
  
Now the black and white portraits evolved into colored photographs.  
  
As I continued flipping through, I saw pictures of each and every anniversary mixed in with photos of their son's birth and birthdays. Labels read: Lyle Adam's first steps, Lyle Adam's first day of school, first time overnight at a friend's house, first school play, Lyle Adam's baptism, solo in choir, Lyssa Mae's first day of work at the library, first harvest (cabbage, potatoes, and turnips), Flower Festival with Lyssa Mae and Lyle Adam, winning the horse race with Gretel, winning cow festival with Zoe/Clara Belle/Izzie/Treaty (there were four of these wins), Bear wins dog race (three of these), and an entire multitude of photos from Lyle Adam's going away party as he left for a college in Connecticut.  
  
Then more pictures flooded the pages telling of Lyle's acceptance to Yale Law and his congratulations party back home in Flower Bud. Even more appeared when Lyle got married to a young college graduate named Minnie Veronica St. Paul. In the midst of these, I found a note written in Pappy's neat cursive handwriting. It read:  
  
When Lyle Adam and Minnie got married, they decided to move off to Texas, away from both of their families, God knows why. They've acquired a nice home in Fort Worth, however, in a decent neighborhood filled with wonderful Christian people. I met some of them when I came to visit. Like I say, wonderful people. Lyle Adam and Minnie are sure to have a wonderful new life here, now that Lyle's graduated from law school and Minnie's through with her NYU years.  
  
In my visit, I requested of Minnie some photos of her pregnancy months (they are planning on having a baby) and of her baby shower, so I can add them. I expect to receive them shortly.  
  
And sure enough, I saw pictures of a fair-haired, very pregnant young woman who I knew to be Minnie, with and without Lyle Adam. A few baby shower pictures followed, filled with girlfriends of Minnie's pouring wonderful gifts on her: adorable baby clothes, a crib, a playpen, a chestful of early childhood toys. . .  
  
Finally, I came upon the birth of the child, an exceptionally beautiful baby boy upon the stomach of a very tired, sweaty Minnie Veronica. A few more photos showed Lyle Adam holding him in his arms, and still more of Pappy and Lyssa Mae embracing the child dearly. On one page after this there was a black and white copy of the boy's birth certificate. It stated the names of the parents, then went on about the baby's birth details.  
  
Name: Jackson Elijah Tandley.  
  
Date of Birth: Summer 25  
  
Time: 12:02 AM  
  
Weight: 7 lb. 12 oz.  
  
Length: 20 in.  
  
I smiled at the adorable baby photo above the information. He really had been a cute baby, with his little pink ears, rosy cheeks, and his tiny hands groping around the blank air between him and the camera. "Aww," I thought to myself. "What a cutie." Again, I reminded myself how he was still cute, and couldn't contain a feminine giggle.  
  
Scores of photographs followed, of Jackson Elijah's "dedication to God," his first, second, third, and fourth birthday parties, first steps, first time to speak, first day at preschool, and even first spanking. I saw a few cute pictures of the child, just starting to grow some thick dark hair and developing his deep brown eyes, with chocolate cake and ice cream smeared all around his face, or with his father's sunglasses on, a few with him in a funny clown outfit, red nose and all, about four of Jack with his mom and dad at some kind of carnival or circus or something.  
  
I turned the page and was thrilled to suddenly see pictures of people I knew. There was Doug Green, looking younger and happier, with a blonde woman, his deceased wife, who was extrodinarily large in the belly. I realized she'd been pregnant with Gray. I saw my grandmother, late in years but still smiling like a sheshire cat. And there was Thomas Lopez, looking much younger indeed, missing his bright red top hat and round glasses. Instead, I noticed that his hair was slicked back in a mullet (ew!) and his irregular eyes sparkled. I figured out that this was a picture from when he and Anna had just been engaged to be married; Anna was hanging on him with her right arm, her left hand extended toward the camera to reveal a dazzling emerald engagement ring that I still saw her wear today.  
  
More and more pictures followed, featuring the parents of each kid my age, of course excluding Kai and Jeff, whose parents had died early in their lives. Each individual looked young and alive, contrary to the old, dull life we endured nowadays.  
  
Finally I found photos of Gray's birth. He was a chubby little baby! I laughed aloud at the few baby pictures it showed, his cheeks puffed out like a chipmunk, and his meaty fingers entwined. More photos started to come of the whole first year of his life.  
  
How I missed him. For a long time I'd been convinced that I could never love again. . .not after such a despondant heart-break. I found that the feeling of unlovability had almost vanished, realizing I now had small feelings for the now-single Kai. But, of course, I restrained these feelings. No one could start a new relationship so shortly after a sudden break up.  
  
Suddenly, I came across a photo of my mother, her stomach bulging hugely. Her strawberry blonde hair was down, differently than ever before, and flowing past her shoulder blades and down her back like a beautiful gold river. She was showing a small smile, but her green eyes gleamed cheerily. Her soft white hands were delicately laid on her round tummy with love. I realized right away that she'd been pregnant with me when the picture was taken. One more picture like this followed, Mother looking the same as in the previous one, but this time Daddy had joined her, a wild grin splitting his face as he hugged my mom from behind.  
  
I silently wished things were still that way. I wished that my father cared anything about hugging or kissing, or showing any kind of affection. Needless to say, ever since that horrible night when I was fifteen, everything just went downhill. My father got drunker each night, returning home in a wild daze or in mid-tirade. I often locked my bedroom door at night, and had even added a layer of foam to the surface of the door to muffle the noises: curse words, shouts, cries, and broken valuables, but never a hit or a slap. . .not since Daddy'd hit me those few years ago. Goddess knew why.  
  
I discarded these thoughts quickly, abruptly relaxing the sharp pains of bad memories.  
  
I found tons of pregnancy photos of several different mothers: Lillia with Popuri, Mrs. Green with Ann, Elli's mother (I'd never even known her name), Anna with Maria, Harris's mother. . .  
  
All of a sudden, my baby picture appeared on the next page. My eyes were glowing in the picture, and my tiny little hands were resting comfortably on my belly. I saw pictures of my mother and father holding me, as well as Uncle Andy and Aunt Pat, who also held a young child of their own, who I knew to be Cliff.  
  
Following these photos were the pictures of other births in the village. I saw Popuri first, then Ann with her radiant blue eyes. After that, Elli's pictures appeared, then Harris's, and finally Maria's.  
  
Suddenly, pictures of Pappy's wife Lyssa Mae completely disappeared. I knew that this was about when she passed away with a serious lung disease.  
  
A plethora of pictures continued to fill the pages as my grandmother's old ballet music bounced through my bedroom. Many of the pictures were just random, miscellaneous things with silly labels like, "Never leave Bear alone in the bathtub again!", and "I guess children shouldn't play with shaving cream," and "I'll never leave Bessie in the rain again!"  
  
My favorite pictures had been taken at the Harvest Festival when the other children and I were about three years old. The sky shown brilliant blue above the beautifully decorated square. Everyone was dancing merrily, embracing one another, and laughing heartily. I wished I could've remembered this happy time so long ago. But I was still glad that Pappy had captured all these fond memories and preserved them in a book.  
  
There were fifth birthday party pictures all of the sudden, beginning with Gray's since he was oldest. Jack's was next, and there were many more of these because Pappy had traveled to Texas to be with them for the special occasion. Since I was oldest out of the girls, mine was next. I remembered this day vaguely. Only the girls had come over to my house for a slumber party, but almost everyone had attended the beach portion of the celebration. After these photos, I saw the birthdays of Popuri, Ann, Elli, Harris, Jeff, and Maria.  
  
Looking up from the album, I gave my eyes a chance to relax, focusing on distant clouds through the bedroom window. I accidentally caught sight of the beautiful blue vase Pappy'd given me last week at my birthday party, filled with the wilting roses. Though they had once been radiant pink, the flowers were withering away, slowly browning with age.  
  
The soft melodies that had been flowing through the speakers in my cassette player gently ceased, and I quickly realized that the tape was over. I took out the tape and replaced it with another cassette titled, "Love Forbidden." The first song sprang with ups and downs, slow bounces and active bounds. I smiled at the name of the piece: "Love at First Sight." Indeed the song was a myserious series of hills and valleys, mountainpeaks and deep canyons.  
  
When I looked back down to the album and turned the page, I was alarmed to see a cheery photograph of me, still five years old, with all the other girls, Harris, Jeff, and. . .  
  
Jack?!  
  
My forehead wrinkled in utter confusion. Had I known Jack way back then? Well, obviously! In the picture, he was dead center, with Elli and I on either side of him, arms wrapped around each other's shoulders playfully. I propped up the album with my hands and craned my neck forward until the picture was mere inches away from my puzzled green eyes.  
  
We were all in our swimsuits at the beach, the waves crashing marvelously behind us, and the wonderful backdrop of the summer blue sky shining splendidly.  
  
As I tilted the book forward again, I felt the edge of an off-white envelope pressing against my forearm. I let the album fall to the cushy green comforter and picked up the envelope, quickly sitting up on my bed. I carefully opened it up, not wanting to tear the fancy paper. There was a folded piece of paper inside, which I gingerly unfolded.  
  
I found it to be covered in black ink: Pappy's exquisite cursive handwriting. Could this be the special something Pappy had mentioned again and again in his will?  
  
Dear Karen, my sweetheart,  
  
Yes, my dear, this is your special something. And as I plainly stated in my will, this letter is to be kept between the two of us, alright, sweetheart?  
  
Now I know that you are starting to see some photos of you and my grandson Jack way back when you were just about five. I know, also, that you've forgotten all about this young man and that joyous summer he spent down here so long ago. But I, sweetheart, have kept this wonderful experience in my memory.  
  
You were just a girl of five when that summer dawned. Jack arrived and the two of you immediately clicked. You, Ann, and he used to spend multiple hours a day with each other, playing tag at the beach, hide-and-go-seek at the vineyard, and racing across the fields at Moonlit Farm. He used to come home each day full of things to say about you. In fact, I recorded his exact words in my diary and have torn out this particular page and placed it in the same envelope in which you found this letter.  
  
And then, that day when he left. . .all of you kids were so heart-broken. Even those three hurricanes were boo-hoo-hooing half the next fall! But I knew you'd be the first he'd bid farewell to. And somehow, I knew to send you a book through him, although I could very well have done it myself. But, in some strange way, God had figured out that as long as Jack gave it to you when you were so young and irresponsible, that Bible would drift right out of your memory.  
  
But the good thing about this fact is, you'll find it at just the right time. Now, sweetheart, heed these instructions. I gave you that Bible the very day Jack left. You lost it before the year was over, I know. Truth is, I even know how you lost it, sweetheart.  
  
You tucked it into your old nightstand drawer and forgot all about it. Then, when you got a new nightstand, you sent the old one down to the guest room (which is now Kai's room). I know no one ever even entered that room before Kai arrived. Simple and silly as it may seem, the Bible is hidden there in Kai's nightstand.  
  
What are you waiting for, sweetheart? Go get it!  
  
In the Lord Almighty, Pappy  
  
PS: I love you, sweetheart, and always will. Keep lovin' them pink roses, Karen. Best wishes.  
  
I smiled, even through my watery eyes, at his PS. Before heading down to Kai's room, I pulled out the diary page he'd written of and slowly ran my eyes over it.  
  
Date: Summer 15  
  
Dear diary,  
  
Jack is so full of pep today! Apparently, something's happened with my sweetheart Karen, and the pup just won't be quiet about it! Here are his exact words, which I remember precisely.  
  
Just as he walked through the door today, soaking wet from the storm rain, at about five o'clock, he blurted, "Today's the best day of my adult life!"  
  
To this, I chuckled and said, "And why's that, son?"  
  
"Well, Pappy, I kissed Karen. Right there in the pourin' rain, I just smooched her a good one! We were all wet 'cause we'd been dancin' that dance they dance at the Dancin' Festival [this means Harvest Festival in Jack language]! 'Ell, I finally told her that I like her, and she said the same thing back to me! And we were so wet! Golly, Pappy, it's the best day of my adult life! But it woulda been better if I'd remembered to hug her while we were kissin' like they do in Little Mermaid. . .Girls like that stuff don't they? I don't like it much, but anything for Karen! I love her so much, Pap! Yeh, we'll get married one day! Things 'll all be great when I'm like, twenty! Yeah, me and Karen 'll live right here in this house with you! It'll be fun, Pappy! Won't it? Oh, and Pappy, did I tell you how wet we were? It was pouring rain, Pap! We were so wet!"  
  
Ah, the little rascal! I love 'im!  
  
Signed, Joe Tandley  
  
Before I could laugh right aloud, my mind filled with light, then darkness, then more light, and I had a paralyzing flashback.  
  
~~  
  
I was a little kid in the wine cellar with a tiny version of Jack. I looked scared and worried, but at the same time tramatized. Then I remembered that my dad had thrown me in here and locked the door, not realizing Jack was hiding in here. Suddenly Jack jumped into the air screeching something about a hole in the wall.  
  
~~  
  
It didn't take any more for me to remember everything else. Just as little Jack had described, we were wet from the rain, dancing with joy at our escape. Suddenly, we kissed. My first kiss. . .  
  
I remembered it so vividly now. The texture of his lips, the touch of his fingertips upon my wet cheek, the dampness of my brown hair that clung so fiercely to my face.  
  
Then I remembered the day that tiny Jack had left for home again. I remembered the Bible, the hug, the torn picture. . .  
  
The torn picture!!  
  
I leaped into the air and off my head, thundering down the stairs with the music still resonating from my bedroom. I flung Kai's bedroom door open without so much as a knock, relieved to see he was not present. Storming through the cluttered nightstand drawer, I finally found it.  
  
The Bible, with its leather covering and light tissue paper pages, was immensely covered in dust. I quickly wiped it off and shook it away, to find the words "HOLY BIBLE" engraved in gold on the navy blue leather. I hastily leafed through it until coming upon an old wrinkled picture, with a line of torn white down the left side from where it had been ripped in half.  
  
The picture held the adorable image of young Jack, brown eyes brimming with laughter, dimpled cheeks resounding joy. How I loved this picture, and how ashamed I was that I had lost it!  
  
Without a second thought, I burst out of my house and down the vineyard trail with every intention of ending up at Moonlit Farm.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: Whew, that only took me FOREVER!! So sorry for the long wait!! Here's my personal thankies:  
  
Harvestboy2001~I really appreciate your reviewing; you seriously have no idea. You're a writer I can admire and look up to, and draw inspiration from. Just know that!! Thanks for following this, and I pray that the long waits between updates hasn't shaken you off the story!!  
  
anime26angel~You, also, are an admirable author, whose work I love more than you know!! Thanks much for your kind review. Keep your wonderful writing up, and keep up those encouraging reviews, too!! (as long as I'm halfway worthy of it)  
  
CrazyGirl23~Thankies much for your uplifting review!! Seriously, you keep me going!!  
  
fairyfriend~Thanks for stickin' with me through the long waits. You've truly been a help in my perseverance, and I can't thank you enough!! Stay with me!!  
  
LCDM~You have absolutely no idea how much you and your sweet reviews mean to me!! I seriously don't think I could keep writing this without you!! Thanks for stickin' up for me. I know this kind of story is controversial with people who don't believe in Jesus' reserrection, or even existence. I can't tell you what kind of strength, encouragement, inspiration, and just plain sweetness you've given me!! Kisses, hugs, and love!!  
  
Lynnika~You, too, have stuck with me through all the long waits. Thanks a million!! You rock!!  
  
farmerboy~Thanks to you, too, for stayin' with me!! God bless you for reviewing!!  
  
dancerchick77~Uh. . .thanks for the, um. . .review. . .I guess. . .LOL, it was weird and hard to understand, but hey, it's just a review, and I still thank ya for it!!  
  
RedSonic~Ha, ha, ha, don't beat yourself up about the Elli/Maria thing!! LOL, JK, not like you would. Thanks for the review and all your help in keeping me going on the right path. You're a great author, and another person I can look up to. Keep up the great writing and helpful reviewing!!  
  
Lyndsey~I can't thank you enough for that incredible review; I still can't get over it!! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!! Lots of hugs and kisses!!  
  
So anyway, people, please shoot me a review real quick; it'll only take a second. Make sure you give me some constructive criticism!! Love you guys more than you know!! Have a great one!! 


	9. Call For Cliff

Call For Cliff  
  
Amaya: This chapter is intended to be short to sort of give both of us a break. I've been runnin' around like crazy these days, tryin' to get everything done. Since I've started this story, there's been a lot of changing going on around me, as well as inside me. God has been moving my heart these days. I'm feeling closer to Him now than I ever have!!  
  
Well, let's go ahead and start the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: No. . .sorry. I don't own Harvest Moon.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
I stopped in front of the front door to catch my breath. Having run all the way from the vineyard to Moonlit Farm, I was panting heavily when I reached what used to be Pappy's old "Welcome!" mat. I could hear the little dachshund pup barking inside before I even rapped my knuckles on the rain-stained wooden door.  
  
Jack opened the door before I had fully caught up with my breath. Just as I'd seen him those few hours ago, Jack was wearing a blue and orange ball cap on top of thick strands of messy brown hair and stylishly faded, slightly baggy jeans with a thick brown belt tucked under the beltloops. However, he'd changed out of a thin gray tee shirt into a long-sleeved white shirt with a navy blue tee shirt over it. And, he'd discarded his bulky brown boots and now stood before me in thick black socks.  
  
"Karen," he said blandly, opening the door wider. Jack gently set Beanie down on the tiny cement square in front of the door, and the dog bolted off toward the grass. He crossed his arms and leaned charismatically on the left side of the doorframe.  
  
"I--" I started, rubbing my cold hands together, "I know you."  
  
"I tried to tell you how familiar you looked," he said, flashing a charming smile.  
  
"You don't understand," I blurted, jerking my hand upward to reveal his childhood picture. "This is you when we were five, and -- "  
  
"Come in," he said, standing aside so there was room for me to enter. It sounded to me like he already knew what I had discovered about our childhoods.  
  
When I entered the room for the second time today, I saw the television going with a farming information show. Jack had already walked over to a huge suitcase by the wall and was rummaging around. That is, until he surfaced with an outstretched hand.  
  
Sure enough, he held my own childhood picture in his fingers. "I know you, too," he said.  
  
"You've been remembering that summer all these years?" I asked, bewildered.  
  
"Actually no," he confessed, pressing my picture into my hands as he stepped past me. Sitting down on the couch, he continued, "On the ferry- ride here last week, I had the weirdest little flashback.  
  
I saw me--a little me--sitting in a dark room, hiding for a game. Suddenly, the door flies open, and this big angry man throws a little you in there, and locks the door behind you."  
  
"We were in there forever," I said, breaking his chain of words. "Until you found the hole. When we got out, I remember it was raining, and we were dancing! And then--"  
  
"We kissed." He stood up and made eye contact with me, smiling faintly. "And I told you I liked you, and you said you liked me back."  
  
My glance turned cold. "We were five," I punched out sharply.  
  
His hands tucked in the back pockets of his jeans, Jack gave a fine- whatever shrug. Removing one of his hands from a pocket, he gestured toward the thick book under my arm. "And that book. That's the Bible I gave you from Pappy."  
  
"I know!" I retorted. "You're not the only one who remembers anything."  
  
He shrugged again. "Well, apparently, I'm the only one who cares." With that, he collapsed back onto the couch, directing his attention again to the television.  
  
For a second, I felt guilty. I admitted to myself that I really did care, but I also knew that ever since Gray dumped me two years ago, I didn't know how to express feelings like that. Or, perhaps I knew how. . .and I just didn't know why.  
  
But to my surprise, Jack sat up again with a sorry look in his gleaming brown eyes. "I'm sorry, Karen," he said, "I didn't mean it like that."  
  
There was a long silence. I was dismayed. Why was he apologizing? I was the one who sounded so cold!  
  
Scooting over to one side of the brown leather loveseat, Jack patted his hand on the empty cushion next to him. "Come sit."  
  
I hesitently strode to the sofa and stiffly sat with my hands wrung together in my lap.  
  
"Can I ask you a question?" Jack asked, slightly turning to face me.  
  
I looked at him and nodded a little, pushing a blond lock of hair behind an ear.  
  
"Do iyoui worship the goddess here?"  
  
My head snapped abruptly to face him. A rush of anger stampeded through me, and before I knew it, a look of rage was plastered on my face. "No." I kept my answer brusque, short, and simple, so as to avoid further questions.  
  
No such luck. "No?" he asked in obvious surprise. "Why not? I mean, just out of curiosity."  
  
"She sucks," I said, startling him even more. "Big time."  
  
"But do you still think she's real?"  
  
". . .No."  
  
"Ohhh. . ." He paused for a second, and after a breath said, "What about God?"  
  
Again, my eyes snapped to him. "What about 'im?"  
  
"Do you believe in Him?"  
  
I stood up from the couch and stepped backward. "I should go," I said nervously.  
  
"Karen," he reacted, standing up along with me. "Will you please just answer the question before you leave?"  
  
"Jack--"  
  
"Karen!" he blurted.  
  
"I--I don't know," I responded, in complete truth. "Good-bye."  
  
"Bye."  
  
~oOo~  
  
When I returned back home, my dad starting yelling at me about chores. Ignoring him completely, I calmly made my way up my bedroom stairs and through the door. When I locked it behind me, I wasn't surprised to hear his voice cease. Only to avoid problems, I hollered through the locked door, "I'll do it later!"  
  
I sat down on my bed and picked up my new telephone with the furry blue cover. Throwing a glance at a Post-it note with an old number on it, I hesitently dialed.  
  
The phone rang just once, and then a cheerful, but hoarse voice answered with a slight cough. "Hello, Smit residence."  
  
"Smit?" I questioned, looking again at the number on the table. "I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number. . ."  
  
"Wait," the man said. By the sound of his voice, he seemed rather sick. "Karen?"  
  
"Cliff?"  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: I know, I know, it was really short. But I needed to put up another chapter, and I think we all could use a nice big break!! I'd really appreciate it if you'd give me a helpful, constructive review. Okay, here's my thanks to the wonderful people who did review!!  
  
anime26angel--Thank you so much for your sweet compliment!! And your review!! Love ya!!  
  
Kirjava Deamon--Wow!! Thank you so much!! You have no idea how much that means to me!! But from what you wrote, I couldn't really tell one thing. . .Are you a Christian? Either way, your review means mountains!!  
  
LCDM--I'm sorry if my last chapter was a bit confusing!! The diary entry was Pappy's, back during the summer when Jack came down for a visit. I know this probably wasn't your favorite chapter either, but hang in there, I promise it'll get better!! Thanks tons for pointing out to me what I did wrong. And for the compliment!! Thanks!!  
  
Red Sonic--Oh my gosh!! I had no idea the photo album in chapter 8 would ever mean so much!! Thank you so much for the compliment and the inspiration to continue!!  
  
Fairy Friend--Whoa, thanks for your review, also!! I really appreciate your compliments and help!! I'm counting on you to tell me when I've done something wrong. :)  
  
Harvestboy2001--Lots of thanks to you, also!!  
  
farmerboy--Again, your review is more appreciated than you know!! I love when you guys tell me how the story made you feel. . .that's like half the point of the whole fic: for the readers to feel something special. So keep that great reviewing style up!! Love ya!! 


	10. Arrangements

Arrangements  
  
Amaya: Well, hello everybody!! Have ya heard about mah new muse? (LOL Nayeli) His name's Gallagher!! He's already got me workin'!! Wait, shouldn't it be the other way around? Well, on with the story!!  
  
Disclaimer: Still don't own Harvest Moon.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
"Cliff, is that you?"  
  
"Karen!" I heard the scratchy voice on the other end of the phone exclaiming my name.  
  
"Oh, my gosh!"  
  
"I know!" Before the last word was even finished, my cousin broke into an insane explosion of wheezes and coughs.  
  
"Are-" I paused, not sure about Cliff's health condition. "Are you okay?"  
  
"It's just a little broncitis. . ." Another series of hacks and gags followed.  
  
I winced with each burst of sickness. "Cliff, are you sure? Sounds like quite a bit of broncitis to me."  
  
"Well, I don't even know if it's broncitis. . ." Cliff trailed off a bit. "I haven't been eating so great. Does what you eat actually make you cough?"  
  
"I-I don't know, but I know that if you're not eating, your body gets really unhealthy and you can get really sick." I fiddled with my fingers. "What kinda stuff have you been eating?"  
  
Silence.  
  
"Cliff?"  
  
"So Karen, what's up?" he said, acting as though he hadn't even heard me.  
  
I brushed it aside, first asking a question. "What's with the 'Smit residence?' Your name's Kiono!"  
  
"Well, not since about a year ago. I was staying with my father's parents, right? But about eighteen months ago, my grandfather died. Grandma couldn't even take care of herself, much less me, so I found her a nursing home. I was sent to stay with my father's sister. They actually spent a whole lot of money adopting me."  
  
"So you just got their last name?"  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Do you like it there? Where is it, actually?"  
  
"It's in New Mexico. Just a little town no one's ever heard of. And it's okay, I guess."  
  
"Cliff, you seriously sound terrible. And 'it's okay you guess?'" I wasn't so sure Cliff was telling me the whole truth.  
  
Cliff paused, but I wasn't going to let up. "Mick (my new dad) lost his job three months ago. His wife (my new mom) co-headed a major flooring company, but after a few bad jobs and a law suit, the business went completely bankrupt. Mick quickly took up a new job as a school janitor, but ever since the bankrupcy, Aunt Judy's fallen into depression. She rarely gets out of bed. We can't afford therapy, or a doctor, or anything. . ." I thought I caught a tear in his voice. "Karen, we're out of money. We get meals about every two days. Sometimes we get in free at Chick-Fil- A, because my ex-girlfriend's mom works there and she has a great heart. But we don't wanna push it. . .it would be wrong."  
  
"Oh, goddess. . ." A tear of pity rolled down my cheek. "You come down here, Cliff, right now!"  
  
"Scuse me?"  
  
"You heard me, Cliff. Get your hungry bums down here to Flower Bud. I'll send you a check from my own pocket; buy three airline tickets and three more ferry tickets - "  
  
"Karen, I can't let you do that."  
  
"But, Cliff, the thing is. . .I need you here." I ran a hand through my chocolate milk brown hair, sweeping my golden bangs back.  
  
"What does that mean? Are you okay? Is it Uncle Gotz? Oh, God, Karen, tell me he hasn't -"  
  
"No." I shivered. "That's not it. I mean, it's not like he stopped drinking or anything, but he never like bea - "  
  
"Karen, please tell what it is then." Cliff's voice cracked once more with evidence of his obvious malnutrition.  
  
"Remember old Pappy?"  
  
"Of course." Cliff's breath, hoarse and rough, echoed from the earpiece. "On the uh, Moonlit Farm."  
  
"He. . .Cliff, he passed away about a week ago."  
  
"Oh, my gosh. Oh, gosh, Karen, I'm so sorry. I know it's really hard, especially because the two of you were so close, but, Kare, I just don't. . .I don't know if I can make it down there - "  
  
"Oh, Cliff, that's not even the half of it," I choked out, thumbing a tear from my eye.  
  
"What do you mean? What else happened?"  
  
"His grandson Jack came to take over the farm, right? It was in Pappy's will, that Jack got the farm. Well, he also left some stuff for me in his will. It's a huge photo album filled with all these pictures of him with his wife and kid, and all this other stuff. There's this great dance music, too. But he left this letter also, and he told me about how Jack and I played with each other as kids, and how we liked each other, and we kissed in the rain and all this stuff - "  
  
"Whoa, Karen, slow down. You're going a little too fast for Cliffy here. But I think I got it. Does Jack know?"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm not so worried about that. What I'm thinking about is the question he asked me. He asked me about the Flower Bud goddess."  
  
Cliff said nothing for what seemed an entire five seconds. Finally, ". . .And?"  
  
"I told him I don't care about her, believe in her, trust her. . .nothin'."  
  
"Really?" Cliff suddenly burst. "You don't? Oh, thank God, thank God, thank God! Praise the Lord!"  
  
I jumped in surprise. After he was done, I continued in total seriousness, "That's kinda what I was wondering about. Jack. . .Jack asked me about God, too."  
  
He was obviously excited about my not believing in the goddess and apparently expected me to have devoted my life to God. "And you said. . .?"  
  
"I - uh. . .I don't know."  
  
"Ha-HA!" his voice still rang with cheer, despite the needles in his voicebox. "I'll be there, Karen. I promise. Just as soon as I can. I swear it to you, Karen, I will be there."  
  
I grinned through my worry. "Really? Yes! Okay, I'll get the money in the mail as soon as possible."  
  
"Oh, thank you, Karen. Thank you, Lord! I'll be there."  
  
"Okay." I just couldn't contain a smile. "I guess I'll see you then. Call me if you need anything. My number is 1-348-670-4882. Okay?"  
  
"Got it. Will do."  
  
"Good. Good-bye, then."  
  
"Oh, and Karen?"  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Love ya."  
  
"Love you, too, Cliff."  
  
With that, I hung up the phone and lept off the bed. Skipping briskly to the chest against the wall, I began rummaging through it until I came upon my stationery box. After pulling out a big, blue priority mail sticker, I gathered enough money from the secret piggy bank in the bottom compartment of my chest-of-drawers. I gingerly placed it in a big goldenrod envelope and smacked the sticker on the front along with the return address and the destination address.  
  
Bursting through my bedroom door and stampeding madly down the stairs, I nearly plowed Kai over before running outside to find Harris. 


	11. Confused

Confused  
  
Amaya: Don't worry, this chapter will be much longer!! Thanks to all my reviewers:  
  
Fairy Friend-Thanks for keepin' an eye out!! You're one of my most faithful reviewers!! By the way, I meant "Kare" as her nickname-type- thing. But it doesn't really matter. Thanks so much!!  
  
Red Sonic-I asked for Harvest Moon: Friends of Mineral Town for Christmas!! I think my mom got it for me already. I can't wait!! I just love Christmas!! Anyways, yeah, Cliff's great. He's easy. Well, thanks!!  
  
LCDM-Thanks for the phone number tip!! I always wondered why people always used 555!! LOL!! You, also, are one of my favorite, most consistent reviewers. Keep it up, and thank you!!  
  
Harvestboy and Harvestgirl-Hey, Ben!! Thanks honey bunches of oats for your cool review!! I love Chick-Fil-A, except when I drive with my dad in his big, huge truck they always ask him to turn off the engine. Kind of annoying, but no big deal really. LOL well I'm just babbling. Keep up the reviews!!  
  
Starlight the Wanderer-Wow!! I never thought my little fanfic would affect anyone so much. I'm totally glad it helped!! I'm so happy for you. I hope you enjoy this chapter!! Keep up the reviewing!!  
  
Hera Potter-LOL, yeah, I really had NO idea how to spell bronchitis when I was writing that. Just a wild guess. I was close, though!! Ha, ha, well thanks for your help and your sweet review!!  
  
farmerboy-Can't thank you enough!! You're one of my fave reviewers, too!!  
  
Lynnika-Literally laughed out loud when I read your review. Yeah, I like Cliff a lot too. . .and bacon!! Yummo!! Sure glad I don't hafta suffer your wrath!! Well, thanks a million!!  
  
Lyndsey-Wow!! Thank you so much!! I never expected so much in a review. It means so much to me. You have absolutely no idea. Thank you SO MUCH!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Harvest Moon.  
  
Amaya: By the way, just a warning, the romantic side of this story heats up quite a bit more in this chapter!! =]  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Two days rolled by slowly, and I spent a lot of that time worrying about Cliff and his family. How horrible it would be to not know when or where or how your next meal would come! I found myself feeling a lot more gratitude for the food I ate each day and the clothes on my back and in my closet.  
  
The snow was completely gone by Spring 7, replaced by brilliant green grass and patient flower buds. The icicles all had melted away, and the frost on the windows ceased to appear each night. The air was actually quite warm and vibrant, the sun burning brightly overhead each day. I found myself back in my spring and summer shorts and tank tops with occasional flip flops and ponytails. I noticed the Green Ranch starting to liven up again after the long winter; the cows, horses, sheep, and chickens roamed about freely in the field.  
  
Again, the beach became my home away from home. I never felt out of place there, with the silky sand beneath me and the baby blue sky above me and the wondrous ocean stretched for miles before me. I usually slipped my clothes on over my bathing suit before I went there, knowing the waves would entice me once I arrived. Under normal conditions, Ann wouldn't stay there with me long. Sometimes we'd swim together for about an hour, but Ann always had work to do.  
  
Then again, so did I. My "I'll do it later"s and "I'm busy now"s had built up for so long that I had a mountain of chores to complete every day. In spring, though, there wasn't much to do but take care of the trees. We'd planted them on the 2nd this year because of Pappy's funeral, and all we'd do until fall would be fertilizing, watering, and clipping off the parts of the trees gone bad. In midsummer, we'd pick some of the not-quite-ripe grapes for special wines, and sometimes we'd just sell them as plain old grapes. But of course, they were the best grapes for miles around. Zach the shipper would put them on the ferry, which would take them to surrounding islands and even to America to be sold. But usually, they only got as far as South Carolina.  
  
Kai and I did most of the watering this time of year. Some days, Mother would come out and do it all herself. Those were usually the days when Daddy went out on the ferry to negotiate business deals in places like Cuba, Jamaica, Florida, Georgia, and once, he even went so far as Spain. I don't know why, but Mother always felt that when Dad wasn't around, it was her responsibility to do everything by herself.  
  
But it was nice getting those occasional days off.  
  
This was one such day. It was the morning of Spring 7. Daddy had left very early for our side of Cuba. He'd be back by eleven tonight.  
  
When I woke up that morning, I checked to see if Cliff had arrived, as I'd been doing each morning. I knew Dad had already left because Mother was nowhere in sight. Apparently, she'd already begun the big watering job.  
  
I grabbed a container of homemade grape yogurt and a plastic spoon and sauntered back upstairs to my room. I listened to more of Grandma Eve's old ballet music while I ate. The first tape I'd listened to, "Fairies of the Night," still remained my favorite, and the first song on that tape, "A Little Girl's Dream," sat right by it. This was not the tape I listened to now, but I was reminded of it by the bounciness of the song, "Imagine It."  
  
I let the music continue to play after I threw away the empty yogurt container and spoon. I slipped into my favorite bathing suit, a blue, hibiscus flower patterned baby-doll styled halter-top. Over it I wore reasonably lengthed navy blue knit shorts with a casual white tank top, so one could see the top to my bathing suit. This was the first time in a long time I'd dared not to wear my trademark purple vest, but it was far too warm outside, and the outfit I now wore was far too cute and far too comfortable to add something.  
  
After slipping into blue flip flops and lightly applying sunscreen, I turned off the tape-player and moseyed downstairs. Kai, who had been watching television, politely stood when I entered the living room. I was in a good mood this morning and actually smiled at him!  
  
He was obviously startled but still smiled back, saying, "Morning, Miss Karen."  
  
The "Miss Karen" thing's annoyance had worn out a long time ago, and I now hardly noticed when he addressed me this way. "Good morning, Kai."  
  
"Off to the beach?" he asked, sitting back down on the couch.  
  
"You know me too well," I answered with a smirk.  
  
"Want some company?" he said, a pleading look in his deep brown eyes.  
  
I thought about this and soon found myself torn both ways. Mixed feelings for Kai had been swirling around in me since the break-up between him and Ann. Of course, it was just wrong to get wrapped up in a relationship so soon after your best friend dumped him. If I was ever to act on my feelings, it was going to have to be like, seasons later.  
  
But there was no use being mean to the guy for being nice. So my answer was, "Uh, sure, if you'd like to come."  
  
He smiled. "Let me get my suit."  
  
"Um, why don't you meet me there? I'm gonna go ahead and go." I had no idea why in the world I was being so nice today.  
  
He nodded before shutting the door to his bedroom. "Sure."  
  
So I headed out the front door. I caught sight of Mother mellowly spraying the grape trees with our extra long water hose, but didn't buy into her self-pitiful attitude. I hurried off the property and soon entered the crossroads. I passed the Moonlit Farm on my walk to the beach and saw Jack and Beanie checking the mail on the other side of the low whitewashed wood fence. Jack gave a friendly wave and flashed a handsome smile, but I just looked away. Maybe I wasn't in such a nice mood today after all.  
  
I was almost to the beach when I passed Green Ranch. Ann was checking her mail, too, and stopped me as I walked past. "Karen, hey!" she greeted sweetly, swinging her thin legs over the short wood fence, landing lightly in a sitting position.  
  
"Hi, Ann," I responded, stepping toward her.  
  
"Off to the beach again, huh?" she said, squinting in the morning sunrays. "It's a really pretty day to go. Hey, maybe after I finish my chores I can meet you there. All I've got left to do is give Cliffguard a workout ride, and that won't take but ten minutes."  
  
"You could, but Kai's coming right behind me," I warned her. "Just in case that might change your mind."  
  
She cocked her head and shrugged, frowning a bit. "Well, I don't hate him or anything. If it's alright with you, I'll go ahead and come."  
  
"Fine by me. I think I'll mostly just be tanning, even though I'm wearin' my baby doll. But wear a two-piece, Ann. You can tan with me."  
  
She grinned, her sunlit blue eyes dancing happily. She flipped her long orange braid away from her left shoulder as she hopped off the fence. "Okay," she said, walking backward. "See ya' there!"  
  
"M-kay," I replied and began to stride breezily toward the beach.  
  
But the light voice of Kai stopped me. "Miss Karen," he hollered behind me, causing me to turn in his direction. "Wait up." He was wearing a pair of orange and white hibiscus-flowered swim trunks and was, for once, missing his purple bandana. He carried two beach towels, one presumably for me since I'd forgotten to grab one. I could just barely see the navy blue band of his boxer shorts just over the line of his trunks. His jet black hair was actually gelled up in small spikes, a style that made him look much younger and significantly cuter. And you just can't forget the six-pack abs. . .  
  
That was it. Kai was a total hottie.  
  
I was awestruck. Any mixed feelings I'd had for him were now completely in his favor. I knew deep down I was sort of being a girl-version of shallow, but also knew that I would never have given him this much credit just for being hot. He wouldn't even be so cute were it not for his sense of humor, his sweet sensitivity, and his gentle strength.  
  
He just barely panted from his jog as he approached. "Thanks," he said, then motioned toward the beach entrance. "Shall we?"  
  
I just couldn't contain a smile. "Yeah." I couldn't help but think Kai was bringing out the old "sweetheart" in me. I wondered if he would ask me to the Sowing Festival tomorrow. Truly, a "date" wasn't particularly emphasized for festivals such as these, but traditionally, it was Flower Bud's custom to have an escort to just about every festival. But. . .I doubted Kai would ask me. Not so soon after Ann.  
  
As we walked together toward the beach, I broke the silence with, "Ann's coming along in about ten minutes. Hmm, maybe a bit more."  
  
He nodded, but said, rather startlingly, "Miss Karen, does she hate me?"  
  
I shook my head and flashed the nah-not-really look. "Do you hate her?"  
  
"Of course not," he answered as we entered the sandy beach area. The splash of the waves could now be heard along with the cawing of the seagulls. "I understand her reasons for breaking it off."  
  
I nodded. "That's good."  
  
He handed me a large red beach towel and kept a larger gray one, and the both of us turned our backs to the wind and stretched them out on the sand. I stood on mine for a moment, subtly stripping off my tank top and shorts and kicking off my sandals as Kai sat down upon his. "You know, the festival's tomorrow."  
  
I nodded my head up and down in a small manner, hope and anxiousness piling up inside.  
  
"Do you wanna go with me, maybe?" Kai leaned back on his strong muscly arms.  
  
I sat down on my towel rather calmly, for it was a calm conversation and setting, and quietly responded, "Um, I don't know. . .I. . .I might need just a little time to think about it."  
  
"Miss Karen, I'm not asking you to be my girlfriend."  
  
I recoiled in an invisible fashion, not because I wanted to be his girlfriend (even though deep down I did), but because I had really not been expecting that response.  
  
"And I'm not implying that we go as a couple," he continued. "It's just that if you don't have a date or anything, maybe I could take you and we could just have fun. . .together. . .as good friends."  
  
Except for the soft lapping of waves on the sandy beach, silence consumed the air.  
  
"What do you think?" he finally asked, his voice steady, secure, calm, and unwavering.  
  
I smiled a little at him, lying back on my big, rusty-red towel. "I think it sounds okay. Yeah. I'll go with you." I silently exhaled, glad we'd got the conversation over with.  
  
Suddenly, with a squeal, Ann came cartwheeling onto the beach in a red baby doll with spaghetti straps that criss-crossed in the back. "Whew," she cried at reaching the water's edge. Kai and I laughed. "It's been a loooong time since I did that."  
  
I giggled at Ann's constant energy.  
  
"Oops," she said, glancing at our towels. "Forgot a towel. Scoot over, Karen." And she skipped to my location and motioned to the right for me to move. The towel was so hugely huge that there was enough room for both of us. So she plopped down next to me and laid back, letting out a big breath. "It's such a pretty day."  
  
"Ah, yeah," Kai exhaled airily.  
  
I nodded, pushing my straight, smooth hair out of my winter-kissed face. Relaxing my arms at my sides, I turned my face in Kai's direction and closed my eyes. Already I felt the heat of the free sun on my skin and instantly was excited about the delicate tan I'd hopefully have tomorrow.  
  
It was about an hour before Gray came to join us. He laid out his towel, but never really got around to lying on it. He and Kai went splashing into the waves soon after Gray's arrival. Eventually Ann and I joined them in the salty spray, momentarily relieving our skin from the sun's heated rays.  
  
At about noon, I again clothed myself in the white tank top and knit shorts with flipflops and the four of us headed back up to Green Ranch. There, Ann put her usual plain tee shirt with feminine-enough overalls and sneakers back on. Gray added an ordinary tee shirt to his ensemble and found Kai a simple white undershirt.  
  
Ann tried her hand at sandwiches for us all, but after a broken mayonnaise jar, a "slightly crispy" attempt at grilled cheese, and a small incident involving Ann's "BLT Special," the microwave, and a little tin foil, we relieved Ann from her duties and shot up to the bakery. Rumors were, Elli's new stuffed baked potatoes were to die for.  
  
So after a round of scrumptious potatoes and a lovely very berry pie, all of us, now including Elli in a cute strapless two piece, made our slow way back to the beach.  
  
While Kai and Gray started up a swim race to the flagged buoy out yonder, Ann, Elli, and I stretched out on the shore. By now, my hair was completely dry, although slightly frizzied by the breeze. As the three of us, Elli between Ann and me, closed our eyes to shut out the blinding sun, Elli struck up a conversation. A very girl-typical conversation.  
  
"Goddess, the new guy is hot," she declared with a naughty grin.  
  
Ann let out a long breath. "You can so say that again."  
  
I smiled but said nothing.  
  
"Have either of y'all talked to him much?" Ann continued.  
  
Elli squealed somewhat quietly. "Yeah. Goddess, he must come by the bakery at least every other day."  
  
"Really?" Ann asked. "He's only dropped by the Ranch twice so far, and only on business. He got Cliffguard's brother that one time on the third and then the other day he came by to get a chicken. But he did talk to me both times!"  
  
I laughed. "Goddess, Ann, you're keeping good track!"  
  
"Well, Ann, maybe he's just a bit sweet on you!" Elli teased.  
  
"Maybe!" Ann giggled sing-songily. "But he did mention Karen several times in our conversation!"  
  
I lifted up my head to look at her. "Ann, you liar," I said playfully.  
  
"I'm serious!" she insisted with a perseverant nod. "Honest to goddess!"  
  
Elli piped up. "Yeah! He said a few things about you at the bakery too."  
  
"Well? What did he say?" I asked curiously. "I mean, if he really did say anything. . .Ladies!"  
  
Ann broke into a bubbly burst of laughter. "He asked - he asked me if - AHAHA! - he asked me if you h - "  
  
Elli, before joining Ann in laughter, finished, "He asked me if you had a boyfriend!"  
  
Ann squealed hysterically through her bubbles of laughter, nodding with a red face.  
  
"AAAAAHHH!" I shrieked girlishly before erupting into my own episode of giggles. "Seriously?"  
  
Elli nodded as Ann repeated, "Honest to goddess! He asked about you and Elli both!"  
  
This only caused a screech from Elli and another long explosion of laughter. "Ann, I know you're lying!" she shrieked.  
  
Again, Ann responded, "Honest to goddess! He didn't ask about anyone else except the three of us!"  
  
We were all sitting up now and had been since Ann's first "honest to goddess" remark. "He asked about you, too?" Elli said.  
  
Ann shrugged. "Yeah, after the two of you."  
  
I fanned my red face. It had been a long time since I'd laughed so hard.  
  
Clutching her aching sides, Elli changed topics, "So has anyone got a date to the Sowing Festival?"  
  
"No, but thank goddess you don't really need one this time," Ann replied before I could so much as open my mouth.  
  
"Karen?" Elli asked expectantly. "Any invites from Jack?"  
  
Glad for the second question, I shook my head. I really didn't want to tell Ann I was going with Kai, but deep down knew I'd have to eventually.  
  
But surprisingly, the "eventually" came sooner than I'd hoped. Ann asked, "What about Kai?"  
  
I was startled, but answered, "He asked me this morning if we could go just as good friends."  
  
Ann nodded and I half-expected her to say something like, "You betrayed me." But instead, she just replied, "And you said?"  
  
I stared into her perfect sky blue eyes and answered, "Yes."  
  
Elli looked from one of us to the other.  
  
"Are you okay with that, Ann?" I said in the kindest voice I'd used in a while.  
  
She broke the tension with a smile, "Of course. Y'all are cute together."  
  
"Ann!" I whined. "We're just going as friends! Honest to goddess!" I teased.  
  
She giggled. Elli joined in.  
  
~oOo~  
  
A little more than three hours later, it was six-thirty, and everyone but me had left the beach. I sat alone on the sand with my hands attached loosely on the other side of my knees, which were slightly apart in an un- ladylike fashion. My bare feet received the gentle lick of the waves, but my navy shorts remained out of their reach.  
  
The sun had almost disappeared under the aqua horizon but wasn't yet finished painting the the ocean golden yellow. Behind me, the sky was already tinted purple-blue and dotted with many faintly shining stars. It was this time of night that I found the most magical, the most intriguing. As the sun continued to dip, I was reminded again of Grandma Eve's old tape, "Fairies of the Night." A Little Girl's Dream echoed in my head, and without so much as a thought, I was on my feet and dancing.  
  
It was as if the music really was being played by a grand orchestra right there on my beach. The sand under my toes was left in odd patterns as I spun and twirled, lept and bounded. I didn't need a routine or a choreographer. I just danced straight from my heart, directly from my emotional soul. I smiled as I danced; my favorite bouncy music would not permit a frown!  
  
So, grinning, I continued to move with the music until the final beats resounded loudly from my imaginary orchestra. I hit the last burst of music with one foot crossed in a lunge behind the other, my left bicep pressing against my ear, and my right arm stretched out in a perfect horizontal line. With a truly happy smile playing on my face, I breathed quiet, heavy breaths.  
  
Finally, I bowed gracefully to my audience, the applauding waves that stretched for miles before me.  
  
"Wow."  
  
I swiftly whirled around to see an awestruck Jack standing silently near the beach entrance. His shaggy brown hair was again only visible underneath and through the hole of his ball cap. Due to the now warm weather, he was dressed simply in loose, slightly faded blue jeans, brown boots with matching thick belt, and a white undershirt that didn't leave much to the imagination. He took a step toward me, his boot crunching softly in the sand. "That was - "  
  
"None of your business," I finished for him, a scowl infiltrating my expression. I picked up my towel and slid into my flip-flops.  
  
Before I started walking away, he said, "Well, I was going to say beautiful, but I guess you'd rather just bite my head off."  
  
I gave him a cold glare. "Why do you care?"  
  
"Why do I care? I never said I cared." He paused, scratching his head. "Look. I'm sorry."  
  
There he went again! Apologizing for making a comeback when I was being a monster.  
  
"I really am," he went on. "But I don't know what to do. I try to be nice to you, but I guess you're just mad at everything."  
  
I nodded. "Mostly."  
  
"Why?" he asked sweetly, gesturing with his shoulders and arms.  
  
Ignoring his question, I said, "Why do you bother? Trying to be nice to me, I mean? Why don't you just give up like everyone else?"  
  
"Well, first of all, as a Christian, I'm trying to be an example of Christ."  
  
I didn't move a muscle in my body.  
  
"Second of all, I don't really have any friends here. I thought you might've liked to be one if I got to know you well enough, especially since we were childhood friends, but I guess I was wrong."  
  
"No, you weren't," I blurted suddenly, surprising myself.  
  
Jack gave me a look. "I wasn't?" he said, more like a statement than a question.  
  
I hesitated for a moment. What had I gotten myself into? Maybe it was worth a shot. . .Maybe I could get over the whole angry, depressed phase of my life and make a new friend. It didn't seem like I had much to lose, so I tried my hand at a genuine, friendly smile at Jack. "I'll try. . .to be your friend."  
  
"You make it sound like it's hard," Jack said with a small smile.  
  
I shrugged. "No one's ever let you down before? Broken your heart?"  
  
"Well, sure," he said. "But life goes on, and I figure I should too."  
  
Again, I shrugged. "Makes sense. But. . .it's a bit harder when it all happens to you in a single day."  
  
Jack lifted his eyebrows but didn't say anything.  
  
However, the look in his eyes suggested that I continue. "Well," I began. "Have you met Gray?"  
  
"M-hm," he nodded.  
  
I sighed. "Sit down," I finally said, and the both of us plopped down on the sand. The sun was now invisible. A jillion stars decorated the navy blue kanvas that was the sky. I took a deep breath. "So you've met Gray, huh?"  
  
"M-hm," he repeated.  
  
"Well, a few years ago, when I was about fifteen and he was sixteen, we were, you know - "  
  
"An item?" he teased, moving his index and middle fingers up and down on both hands in quotes.  
  
I laughed a little and continued, "You could say that. But it's really more like. . .I was sure we were in love."  
  
"At fifteen?" he asked skeptically. "Karen!"  
  
"What?" I said innocently. "Generally, in Flower Bud, you're 'sposed to get married at seventeen. So stop interrupting and let me tell the story!"  
  
He chuckled and nodded.  
  
"So we're basically really close - "  
  
"To what?"  
  
I gave him a look. "Each other," I said matter-of-factly. "Anyway, it was the day of the fall horse race. Now Gray was like, the best racer around, especially after that spring, when he ended up winning first place. So of course, when everyone showed up, we all placed a whole bunch of gold on him. But he got out there, the horses got spooked, they all freaked out, and suddenly, there's a horse, totally collapsed and squirming all over the place, right on Gray's legs." I shuddered at the recalling of that horrid race.  
  
"Wow."  
  
"Yeah. So Ann and I, we both passed out, and just as soon as we woke up, Gray's been taken away on a stretcher. So I finally got to the PDS and found out Gray's got two broken legs and a cracked hip; he'll be bedridden for seasons, and after that, he's sentenced to the wheelchair. So Pappy gets me out of there, takes me, Kai, and my cousin Cliff to his house-"  
  
"Your cousin Cliff? Where did he come from? Where is he now?" Jack questioned.  
  
"I'm gettin' there. So, anyway, we were all at Pappy's house when we found out that old Bear passed away."  
  
"Bear!" Jack exclaimed. "I remember him. He was just a puppy when we first got him. Aw, he was a good dog - "  
  
"Jack," I interrupted. "The story. SO! We buried him, and a few hours later, Gray asked for me. So I went to see him and - "  
  
"He breaks it off," Jack finishes.  
  
"Yep. After that, I headed home. See, a long time ago, when I was like, eleven or twelve, my father promised not to drink anymore. But that night, when I got home. . .he was totally trashed. He saw me crying, got angry, slammed me one across the face and almost got Mother before I tripped him and he got knocked unconscious. We all stay at the Greens' house, of course except Dad, and the next day. . .Cliff left."  
  
"Yeah, that's definitely, uh," Jack said, loosely hugging his knees, "worse than I've seen. But, don't give up."  
  
I smiled at him warmly. "Well, you'll have to hold me accountable. Don't let me get all self-centered again, 'kay?" I didn't know what had gotten into me.  
  
"Oh, and I know a guy."  
  
"Okaaay. . .That was just a little random."  
  
"I mean, I know a guy who can help you. He's actually my good friend. I mean He's basically a Father to me. He could seriously help you, I know."  
  
"And who is this 'guy?'"  
  
"God."  
  
Silence. I stood up in one swift motion, briskly brushing the sand off my shorts, trying to think of something to say to that. "It's late," I said, although it was probably only 7:00. "I should go."  
  
"Karen, just listen." Jack jumped to his feet. He gave me a pleading look, his chocolate brown eyes gleaming. "Please?"  
  
"Really, Jack. I should go." I quickly thought of an excuse. "There's a festival tomorrow, and - "  
  
"C'mon, just a minute, Karen. Come over. I'll show you some verses." He paused, letting out a determined breath. "God can help you overcome this. . .I don't know. . .phase of your life."  
  
"Jack, I still don't understand why in the world you bother with me." I flailed my arms in the air before bending over to pick up my towel and shoes.  
  
Just as I was walking away, Jack said something, "Romans 1:14."  
  
I slowly turned around. Rolling my eyes, I asked, "What does that mean?"  
  
"In the Bible. . .in the New Testament, Romans chapter one: verse fourteen says, 'I am obligated both to the Greeks and non-Greeks, both to the wise and the foolish.'"  
  
"Obligated to what?" I asked.  
  
"Obligated to reach out to Greeks and the non-Greeks. . .that's everyone, Karen, even you. . . and share the fire that God's given me. Do you get what I mean when I say that? Fire?"  
  
"Not really, Jack, but I really should go. I've got a seven o'clock shift at the bar tonight, and I bet I'm already late."  
  
"Well, can I talk to you there?"  
  
But I was already walking away.  
  
~oOo~  
  
The next morning, I sprang out of bed with bed-head hair and wrinkled orange PJ's. I had barely been able to sleep last night, despite the long night at the bar. Dad was knocked out in bed with a fairly bad hangover, I remembered. He'd be out 'til at least three in the afternoon.  
  
I touched the big window that overlooked the tree grove with my palm to feel the temperature and found another lovely warm day for the Sowing Festival. After a quick shower, I dressed appropriately in a short but sensible cargo khaki skirt and white cap-sleeved tee with a popular brand name written decoratively across the front. I delicately brushed my now damp brown-gold hair and decided it would be cute to scrunch it today. Arming myself with my trusty tube of Loreal hair gel, I began the tedious work. But luckily, it turned out quite nice, my hair now a slightly darker mass of reasonably gelled waves. My two trademark blond locks of hair in the front I twisted into tight strands which wrapped around to the back of my head where they were stylishly joined in a small black clip.  
  
After slipping into some complex-looking, tan-colored, thick-heeled sandals, I critiqued my appearance in the full-length mirror on the door. "Hmm," I murmured. "Quite better than usual." A swift brushing of the teeth and application of make-up followed, and then two graceful bounces down the stairs.  
  
Mother, I found, was still snuggled up in her pajamas on the couch eating Corn Flakes out of the box. "Guess you're, uh, not gonna be at the festival, huh?" I asked nonchalantly, grabbing my purse, which coincidentally matched my outfit well enough, off the coffee table.  
  
"No," Mother said, drawing out her word slightly through half-a-mouthful of cereal. "I was going to help set up and then host a booth, but Lillia's got it taken care of, it seems."  
  
"Whatever," I muttered, stepping past the couch and toward the door. "Have you seen Kai?"  
  
"Yes, and today he's looking rather handsome!" Mother actually smiled. She must've been feeling a bit better. Shame she couldn't go to the festival with us.  
  
Not.  
  
It's not that I didn't want her to go, it's just that I didn't want her to go with me. And Kai. . . I thought wistfully.  
  
I grinned at her. "Where did he go?"  
  
"He's doing your father's undone chores."  
  
I shrugged with a roll of the eyes. Typical, I thought. "You know, Mother, if you get cleaned up now, you'll get to the festival in time to see Hector and Stu off in the balloon."  
  
"How do you know Stu's going?" she asked, completely ignoring the point of the suggestion.  
  
I sighed quietly. "Everybody knows Kent is scared of heights. But did you hear me, Mother?"  
  
"Yes, dear, I did. I just may show up." She sighed. "But only if I can borrow your blue turtleneck sweater." She smiled.  
  
I smiled back. "Sure. But don't wear it if you're not coming. 'Kay?"  
  
"Okay, dear." She wiggled her fingers as a wave good-bye. "Have fun."  
  
"I will." More fun than you know, I thought slyly, reminded again that I was going with Kai. Briskly opening the door, the first thing I saw was the brilliant sun on a backdrop of perfect baby blue. "Mmm. . .haaaa," I breathed, enjoying the lovely spring atmosphere.  
  
A few birds sat chirping merrily on the fenceposts, and a whole flock of them nested happily in the big tree out behind the grove.  
  
I wistfully closed my eyes, only to feel a lovely pair of lips peck my right cheek for a long instant. I turned from the direction it had come from, to find a very adorable Kai taking my arm with a grin. "Good morning, Miss Karen," he said sweetly.  
  
He was looking absolutely ravishing with his hair spiked as it had been yesterday and his wonderfully wondrous brown eyes glowing and dancing like newlyweds. He wore loose faded jeans that looked exceptionally good on him, and a red plaid button-down shirt that hung open to reveal a plain white tee shirt. Yes, the man did look quite nice. . .  
  
"You look handsome," I said daringly, with a warm smile.  
  
He blushed, looking down at his stylish Dock Martins. "Thank you, Miss Karen, but if I may say so, you look absolutely beautiful."  
  
It was my turn to flash red on my cheeks. "Thanks, Kai." I couldn't help but enjoy the walk toward the square, my right arm hooked with his left, smiling at each other in a silence that was not awkward but unbelievably pleasant.  
  
When we arrived, the square was, as usual bursting with excitement. Many booths lined the edges of the square, some representing the shops and buildings, others merely places to get food, drink, or small souvenirs. I didn't notice any tourists, which wasn't unusual because they normally just showed up for things like the horse or dog races and the cow festival.  
  
I squealed when I saw the bakery booth, pointing with my mouth open. "Ooh, let's go!" I said, pulling Kai in its direction. Both Elli and Jeff stood smiling behind the small trailer-type booth.  
  
"Karen! Kai!" Elli greeted merrily, throwing a wink at me discreetly. I giggled as she asked, "What can I do for you?"  
  
"You know what I like," I said with a grin.  
  
"Very berry pie it is," Elli laughed sweetly. "Anything for you, Kai?"  
  
As I was handing Elli a few coins, Kai reached out to grab my folded hand. "I got it, Karen."  
  
I looked at him.  
  
"Really," he said with a charming smile. "And, Elli, I'll have a piece of that famous strawberry shortcake!"  
  
Elli laughed loudly and handed him a plate of it with green seran wrap over the top. "There ya go, guys. Have fun."  
  
We laughed and walked away with treats in hand. I nibbled quickly at my pie, where Kai took huge mouthfuls at a time. "Make sure you chew, Kai," I said through my own mouthful of veryberries.  
  
He chuckled, and we walked over towards Ann and Gray, who stood at the big table that represented Green Ranch. "Hey!" Ann shrieked when she saw us. She rushed forward in her knee-length denim skirt, sky blue spaghetti strapped top, and cute black sandals, her curly strawberry hair swooshing along behind her.  
  
As she gave me a friendly hug, I complimented, "Aw, your hair's so cute this way!"  
  
She giggled and said, "Thanks, but yours is cuter. I never could scrunch mine like that!"  
  
Kai chatted with Gray while I asked, "Hm, so what's at the table this time?"  
  
"Well, this year, we decided we each get our own section of the table," Ann beamed. "My idea."  
  
I nodded with a bright grin.  
  
"So Daddy. . .He, of course, put all the business stuff in his section. You know, advertisements, deals, bargains, all that good stuff. Gray. . ." She rolled her eyes, "has taken it upon himself to fill up his portion of the table with all his old racing, breeding, and showing trophys."  
  
Sure enough, the whole left side of the table (Doug's was in the middle) shone bright gold and silver, filled to the edges with medals, ribbons, and trophys.  
  
"And yours!" I squealed excitedly when I saw it. "Oh, it's so cute!" The right side of the table, Ann's part, was home to an extremely large collection of picture frames, each of them filled with old and new pictures of the Ranch: the field, the horses, the cattle, the sheep, the house, the family, the horse and dog races, the cow festival, even the chickens! It took my breath away. "Oh, Ann, what a good job!"  
  
My best friend positively beamed. "Thank you! I had to make some of those picture frames 'cause I ran out close to the end there."  
  
"Well, they're very good," I commented kindly.  
  
"Ooh!" Ann squealed, scurrying behind the table. "And these." She pulled out a large plate with seran wrap over the top. She lifted up the wrap, and I took one of the goods from the plate.  
  
I could at least tell it was something like a cookie. It looked a lot like a big, deformed tear drop with green icing spread over it. I cocked my head and furrowed my brow. "A cookie," I said plainly. "What's it supposed to be shaped like?"  
  
Ann smiled and shrugged. "Well, it was supposed to be seed, but it looks more like a retarded cow-patty."  
  
I laughed aloud, staring at the thing.  
  
"Go on, eat!" she grinned.  
  
I tried not to cringe. Ann had never been a good cooker. But I took a small bite and actually found it to be pretty good. "Wow, Ann! I think this is the best thing you've ever cooked!"  
  
Ann glowed. "Well, Popuri helped me a bit with the batter. But I took it from there!"  
  
I chuckled. Only Ann.  
  
"So. . .?" Ann said, nudging my arm with her elbow.  
  
"What?" I said.  
  
"How're things with K-A-I?"  
  
I giggled loudly. "Ann, you dork!"  
  
She laughed aloud and playfully punched my shoulder. "Seriously!"  
  
"Honest to goddess?" I teased.  
  
She mock-scowled. "Well, I guess I just won't tell you the little secret Gray told me. . ."  
  
Ann started to walk back behind the table again, a slow bounce in her step, her hips shaking each movement. I rolled my green eyes. "Ann!"  
  
"Hee, hee, hee," she giggled amusingly. "Not until you tell me."  
  
"Tell you what?"  
  
"If you liiike him or not."  
  
"Ann!"  
  
"Tell me!"  
  
Pause. "Kind of. . .Maybe."  
  
"AAAHH!" she screeched, though it was hardly heard by anyone else because of all the other hulabaloo about the square.  
  
"So what's the secret?" I gave her a look. "There better be a secret, Ann."  
  
"There is." Ann motioned with her finger for me to come closer. In my ear, she whispered, "Gray told me the other night that Jack told Jeff, who told Harris, who told Rick who told Gray that he's sweet on you!"  
  
"That who is?" I asked.  
  
"Jack!" Ann replied, a little more loudly than I'd have liked.  
  
"No!"  
  
Ann giggled. "Yup!"  
  
"Gray lies!"  
  
"Oh, Karen, he hardly ever talks."  
  
"Then the story got twisted somewhere in the 'who told's! In the beginning, Jack probably liked you!"  
  
"Oh, Karen, I think we both know Gray scared him off."  
  
I shrugged. "Then it was probably Popuri or. . .ELLI!"  
  
Ann gasped. "It could be!"  
  
"She did say that Jack came by the bakery way too often to just be buying cakes."  
  
"Speaking of which, I wonder where he - "  
  
"Hello, ladies," a familiar voice said.  
  
"Jack!" we both said in unison, turning around to see him admiring Gray's awards and such.  
  
The three of us, soon joined by Gray and Kai to make it five, exchanged meaningless small talk for what must have been ten minutes. Finally, the mayor took the rusty old microphone from the stand, causing a brief instant of crackles and static. "Attention, everyone!" he said.  
  
"Sending them off in the balloon already?" Ann said, wrinkling her forehead.  
  
"Sure," Gray said. "It's already about ten."  
  
But the mayor continued, "Now, I know in the past, there hasn't been dancing at this particular festival."  
  
Ann and I looked at each other. I mouthed the word, "Yes!" and she nodded eagerly.  
  
"But who would like to see some shufflin' this year?" the mayor exclaimed, shaking a fist in the air.  
  
A tremendous cheer arose from the villagers of the square.  
  
"That's what I thought!" the microphone boomed. "So quickly everyone! Partner up for the first dance! Let's get this party started!"  
  
I laughed at the mayor's attempt at being modern. Poor guy, I thought laughingly.  
  
Kai stepped in front of me. "Care to dance, Miss Karen?"  
  
I nodded and set down the remainder of my second cookie on the table. I noticed Jack partnering up with Ann and contained a burst of teasing giggles.  
  
We arrived in proper positions out on the cobblestone dance floor just as the loud, festive music jumped to a start. When cue came, we bowed and began the traditional dance. As I twirled swiftly, I was able to see the other partners. Of course almost all the married couples were out there, along with Harris and Maria dancing together. I laughed when I saw that Elli and Popuri had playfully chosen to dance with each other.  
  
At the end of the song, we all struck a playful ending pose and laughed merrily. Kai was an excellent dancer, I'd noticed.  
  
After a brief pause at the end of the song, a familiar slow song began to flow from the speakers. I noticed how modern the song was and was surprised how cool all the old people were being.  
  
But my insides burned with anxiousness when I realized this was important. Was Kai really serious? Would he ask me to dance this one? What about Jack? I saw Gray ask Elli if he could "cut in" and burned with jealousy for an instant.  
  
"Miss Karen," Kai's voice thankfully interrupted my thoughts. His eyes sparkled magnificently. "Care to dance another?"  
  
"Yeah," I said, my eyes never leaving his. As he positioned his rough hands gently around my hips, I placed my forearms on his shoulders, my hands wringing nervously behind his head. "It's, uh, a really pretty day today, huh?"  
  
"Sure is," Kai answered. "So Hector is the King this year, right?"  
  
"Yeah. Stu will probably go with him in the balloon. I mean, since Kent's afraid of heights."  
  
Kai nodded. "Makes sense."  
  
Silence settled between us, but this time was more awkward than the last. Suddenly, I noticed Jack walking up behind Kai. I hadn't noticed before, but he was looking pretty darn good in khaki cargo pants with a navy blue tee shirt, again wearing his now trademark blue and orange ball cap.  
  
He tapped Kai's shoulder, and I turned beet red. "May I cut in?" Jack asked. Kai, of course, nodded at me with a handsome smile and stepped aside. "Is it okay if I dance with you, Karen?"  
  
I finally saw Ann standing by the Ranch table again. I remembered that she'd been dancing with Jack and probably sent him over here. When she winked at me, I widened my jade eyes at her, swiftly turning my gaze back to Jack. "Sure, Jack," I responded, resuming the position I'd just been in with Kai.  
  
"Are you still mad at me?" he asked, almost right after placing his hands softly on my hips.  
  
I raised an eyebrow. "I was never mad at you."  
  
"So why'd you walk away from me last night at the beach?" His brown eyes seemed to draw me in.  
  
"Like I said, I had a seven o'clock shift at the bar. I was already late, and - "  
  
"But you weren't listening to a word I was saying. Why don't you wanna listen?"  
  
I barely shrugged my shoulder. "I-I listened."  
  
Jack let out a breath, looking away for a second, then looking back into my eyes. "What if I told you something now? Right now."  
  
I smiled at him, taking a good long blink. "What is it?"  
  
"Well, do you want to hear it? 'Cause I'm not gonna tell you if you're not gonna listen."  
  
"Yes, Jack, I'm listening, I swear."  
  
"Good." He paused to smile at me. "Okay, I have a question for you first."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Has anyone ever talked to you about God?"  
  
"Your grandpa, Jack, obviously."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"Well, when my cousin Cliff was here. . .he used to talk about God all the time and pray at the dinner table just like Pappy used to. He'd carry the book around, and I remember this one time, Ann got so mad at him. We were at the bakery when Cliff started praying for the cake. I don't know he called it blessing the food or something. But anyway, Ann and I just looked at each other and then Ann asked him, 'What was that?' Before ya know it, he's rattling off all this stuff that I didn't get about how God created us and the chicken came first."  
  
Jack smiled. "Your cousin is smart."  
  
I grinned. "He may be smart, but I don't know that he's right."  
  
"Where does he live?"  
  
"Now, it's New Mexico. I called him just the other day."  
  
He looked startled. "Really."  
  
"Yeah." I didn't know why, but I didn't tell him that Cliff was trying to get down here.  
  
"So you don't know that Cliff's right?" Jack said. "He is, you know."  
  
"Sorry, dude, but I need proof."  
  
"I gotcher proof," he murmured, suddenly revealing a small orange book from his pocket. "This is the New Testament." Then, from his other pocket he pulled a red one. "This is the Old Testament."  
  
"Oh, brother," I grumbled with a roll of the eyes.  
  
"Hey, you said you were gonna listen."  
  
"That was a long time ago."  
  
It was his turn to roll his eyes. "Just listen."  
  
"Fine, fine."  
  
"Remember last night when I quoted Romans 1:14?"  
  
"The 'I am obligated' tidbit? I remember, but do we really have to talk about this now?"  
  
"But, Karen-"  
  
"Oh, Jack, c'mon! We're 'sposed to be dancing!"  
  
"Bu-"  
  
"Jack," I said, holding my right palm against his warm neck. "We're friends now right?"  
  
"I hope so," Jack answered, ever-so-slightly cocking his head.  
  
"Well, friendship goes two ways. I listened to you for a while." I paused, sliding my hand back to its former position behind Jack's head. "And now you listen to me."  
  
He smiled.  
  
"And I say, we're dancing."  
  
"Okay, okay, I get your point."  
  
The slow song was soon finished, and after that, a quick song ensued. I resumed partnership with Kai, as did Jack with Ann.  
  
~oOo~  
  
The festival went basically as always, aside of course from the dancing. At six o'clock, after the hot-air balloon returned with Hector and Stu safe in tow and everyone had enjoyed hours more of festivities, I waved good-bye to the Greens, Jack, and Elli. Kai took my arm and we made our way away from the square.  
  
It was only six, so Kai suggested we go sit on the beach for a while. I readily agreed, seeing as how it was such a warm, pretty night.  
  
But neither of us sat when we arrived. It was pleasant enough to just stand side by side, the light breeze softly caressing our faces.  
  
Kai suddenly turned to face me. "Karen, I, uh. . .had a lot of fun with you today."  
  
I turned to face him also. "Yeah," I responded. "I had fun, too."  
  
We stood like that for a moment. But somehow, we ended up just a few inches apart. I felt his breath on mine. He reached up with his hand to touch my face softly. And then it happened.  
  
Our lips were suddenly touching. As the kiss deepened, my arms found their way around his back. Kai's right hand stayed pressed against my face and neck while his left hand hugged my back. I put forth an unexpected amount of passion, and of more lust than love. I felt an equal amount from Kai, his hand never ceasing to stroke my neck.  
  
Suddenly I realized what was happening, what I was doing, and what kind of stress I'd be putting on myself and others. I pulled my face away in one swift motion. Kai was obviously not surprised but had milked the moment for as long as he could, "I know," he said, slowly removing his hand from my face. "Ann."  
  
"Yeah," I answered, though I wasn't sure that was exactly the reason for my recoil. My mind would only permit one name to spin through it.  
  
Jack. Jack. Jack. Jack! Jack! Jack!!! WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT JACK!?!?!  
  
Pulling fully away, I finally whispered, "Mother will be waiting."  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: Whew! Kinda. . .tense!! I don't know, I've never kissed anyone before so I sure hope that's how it goes. If it's not then. . .let's just pretend it is!! Hope that wasn't too hard on you. . .Ha, ha, ha. Well, love you guys!! Please drop a review on your way out!! XOXOX 


	12. What Have I Done?

What Have I Done?  
  
Amaya: Hey there! I know it's been forever, but, as I've explained to some of you already, my computer wouldn't let me log in to FF.net for like 3 months, so I couldn't do anything at all. But I'm back now!  
  
I'm going to be using this chapter as a tool for a bit more character/relationship developing, and also to get myself back into the swing of things. I hope you enjoy, even though it's probably going to surprise you a bit.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Harvest Moon.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
That night I cried until my cushy feather pillow was stained with black blobs from my running mascara. After changing the pillowcases, I lay down and cried some more until I fell asleep.  
  
The next morning I awoke feeling nasty because I hadn't washed my hair yet, and the gloomy weather outside only made me feel nastier. My window was splattered with light raindrops, and I could still hear a soft pattering noise indicating that rain was still falling on the rooftop.  
  
I wiped the drool from my face and peeled off the clothes I hadn't bothered to change out of last night. After a long, hot shower, I pulled my hair into a damp messy-bun and changed into a fresh pair of form-fitting bootcut jeans and a long-sleeved white tee shirt underneath a black short-sleeved one. I took my time brushing my teeth and applying my make-up, then slid into a comfy pair of shoes and moseyed downstairs.  
  
Looking around worriedly, I was rather glad to see that Kai was not about. He was probably in the cellar, and it was likely that he would appear at any second, so I grabbed my purse from the coffee table and darted out the door.  
  
Hugging my own arms, I made my way to Upper Flowerbud Village. The clouds hovered over the town like a big, thick, soggy gray blanket. Indeed, it was very soggy outside. My shoes and jeans were dampened by the moist grass as I walked through the garden beside the bakery.  
  
It was almost nine o'clock, so I figured it would be alright if I stopped by. Without knocking I opened the door to find the bakery empty, except for a faint clinking of silverware coming from the doors behind the counter. The jingling of the bell above the doorway signalled my entrance, however, and Jeff soon scurried out of the kitchen with a friendly smile and a, "Hey, there, stranger."  
  
"Hey," I said, mustering up a weary smile. Jeff held up his left wrist to check his ancient watch. "Sorry," I said before he could say anything. "I'm a bit early."  
  
"It's alright," he replied, taking his usual place behind the cash register. "How can I help you?"  
  
"Mmm," I murmured, eyeing the lovely treats in the display case. But I looked up at the wall menu and said, "I'll just start with a mug of Granny Ellen's Coffee for now, I guess."  
  
"Alright then," he said, briskly walking back through the swinging kitchen doors.  
  
I took a seat at a table for two near the center of the seating area. Within a couple of minutes, Jeff was placing a beautiful mug of steaming coffee on the tabletop before me. With a quiet thank you, I planted a pair of gold coins in his hand, and he was off.  
  
I sipped my coffee silently. The hot steam rose from the liquid and made my eyes water, but I still enjoyed the warmth.  
  
Noiselessly I pondered. I pondered Kai. I pondered the kiss. [Amaya: Lol! Has anyone seen Alex & Emma? Ha, ha, ha! Sorry to ruin the moment! Okay, here's what it's really supposed to say...]  
  
Noiselessly I thought. I thought about Kai. I thought about the kiss. I asked myself what I was going to do now. For a split second I thought of leaning on Ann, but immediately delivered myself a mental slap across the face. I didn't think it wise to tell her anything about our trip to the beach last night.  
  
Oh, what was I going to do? How would I ever get out of this mess? Were my feelings for Kai even that strong? As strong as the emotional high that had occured the second his lips touched mine? As strong as my feelings for. . .  
  
Jack?  
  
Ugh, what was I thinking? I didn't feel anything for Jack! For goddess' sake, the guy was too persistent and pushy. He was. . .cocky almost to the point of arrogance. Besides, the man was practically a stranger. It had only been - what? - a week since I met him.  
  
With another sip of coffee, I found myself trying my hardest to think of all the flaws and imperfections in Jack's personality. Of course the results were plentiful, but I thought oddly of myself for being so. . .  
  
STUPID!  
  
Now that I thought about it, I found it excessively silly to ponder such things! Jack was not an object of interest now. Or EVER.  
  
I decided that my feelings for Kai were strong, but not strong enough to support the emotions I had experienced last night. Maybe a slower-paced relationship would be alright?  
  
I slurped up the remainder of my coffee and politely asked Jeff for a re- fill. "And, um. . .how about a few of Little Elli's Powdered Delights?" Jeff laughed at my exact knowledge of the name of the donut treat and bustled back behind the kitchen doors.  
  
I didn't know. I concluded that I would probably just have to wait until Kai said something to me about it. And knowing Kai, he wouldn't be able to keep quiet much longer. He'd never been one to contain his emotions.  
  
I smiled when Elli came out of the kitchen carrying my order on a glossy black tray. She grinned brightly at me as she set down the four small white donuts, all laid on a perfect square of wax paper, on the table in front of me. She sat down across from me and slid my mug of coffee across the table, keeping another one for herself. "Why no donuts for you?" I asked as she took the first sip of her steaming coffee.  
  
"Ugh," she mumbled. "Don't remind me."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Kind of a diet thing. Granny is supposed to be doing it with me, but yesterday I found her in the kitchen scooping frosting out of the mixer with her fingers." She smiled.  
  
Laughing, I said, "Must be sort of hard when you live in a bakery."  
  
"Well, yeah, that. And the fact that this week just so happens to be 50% Off Cake Week doesn't help much either."  
  
"Are you serious? Fifty percent off cake? I'm in!"  
  
I was just about to call for Jeff so I could order a nice humongous slice of white cake when Elli said, "Don't you dare! Wait until lunch at least, Karen!" She laughed sing-songily.  
  
I sat back in my chair with a mock pouty-face. Except for the slurping of our beverages, silence surrounded us.  
  
Finally, a shrill "bring-a-ling-a-ding," signalled the entrance of a customer. I suppressed a sigh when I recognized the handsome face.  
  
"Jack!"  
  
Elli practically lept out of her chair to give him a friendly hug. I wanted to bury my face in my hands and shrink out of sight, though I was clueless as to why.  
  
"Hey," Jack said, returning her bubbly embrace. "How are you?"  
  
"I'm doin' good, how 'bout yourself?" she answered when they stepped back for a moment.  
  
Jack glanced at me, still seated lazily at the table, coffee mug gripped in between my hands, before replying, "Great, thanks. How are you, Karen?"  
  
"Fine," I said rudely.  
  
"Care to join us?" Elli asked Jack politely.  
  
"Actually," I interrupted. "I should go," I said, though I still had two scrumptious donuts left. I stuffed one into my mouth, where it filled up my right cheek, and crumpled up the other in the wax paper.  
  
I could see Jack's upset expression as I hugged Elli good-bye and thanked her for the food and for talking with me. I pitched my trash into the tall garbage can by the door and left.  
  
~oOo~  
  
I was crossing the pathway when the rain started pouring down like a waterfall. I shrieked and, not knowing what else to do, ran under the roofed porch of Florist Lillia. I was a bit slow, though, and I almost shrieked again when I looked down at my drenched self. My tee shirts clung to me no matter how many times I tried to peel them off. My jeans were not so bad, and for that I was thankful, but my hair, once in a stylish messy- bun, was now a soggy lump on the back of my head.  
  
I sighed and plopped down at the top of the short wooden stairs to remain out of the rain until it let up a little bit.  
  
When I heard the opening of the screen door behind me, I remembered I was at somebody's house and turned around with an apologetic look on my face.  
  
Popuri was standing in front of the door with a smile and a big, inviting towel. "I saw you through the window," she said in a friendly tone as she stepped forward, unfolding the towel.  
  
As she wrapped it around my shoulders, I thanked her and said, "Sorry. I didn't know what else to do."  
  
She giggled like a child and answered, "It's no big deal. Come on in." The screen door made that swishing sound again as she opened it for me.  
  
I left my shoes on the doormat and stepped forward into the shoppe/home. Immediately enveloped in warmth and a flowery fragrance, I inhaled deeply and didn't want to exhale out the wondrous scent. I smiled at Lillia standing behind the counter and followed Popuri to the left, and into her bedroom.  
  
She immediately walked over to a spotless white bureau and began to rummage around in one of the drawers. "I'll find you a top to borrow, but I don't think I have any pants that will fit you. You're quite a bit taller than me," she said with a laugh.  
  
"That's okay, my jeans are fine." But I was relieved when she handed me a fashionable tee shirt with a popular brand name printed on the front. Of course it was pink, but I actually thought it was pretty cute. I changed, and Popuri took my former two shirts and skipped out of the room for a moment or two, her curly pink half-pigtails bouncing behind her. I noticed she wasn't dressed in her usual long princess dress, but instead in a pair of baby blue knit shorts and a white tee shirt.  
  
After quickly wringing out my hair in her bathroom sink and re-messy- bunning it, I sat down in a wooden chair in front of a beautiful writing desk so I wouldn't get the sofa or the bed wet with my damp jeans. I tucked my golden bangs behind my ears, and my feet moved back and forth over the soft pink carpet.  
  
When Popuri returned shortly, she sat facing me on her bed. "So," she said, "it looked like you and Kai were having a pretty fun time at the festival yesterday."  
  
I nodded slowly, my eyes kind of distant. "Yeah. Fun."  
  
She arched her eyebrows a bit and leaned her head forward. "What? What's the matter?"  
  
"I don't know," I answered. "We went to the beach afterwards and - " I hesitated. " - and we might have had a little too much fun."  
  
Popuri gasped and grinned. "You bad girl!"  
  
"I know!" I wailed, then burst into tears.  
  
Surprised, Popuri darted forward and knelt beside me, rubbing my back with her hand. "Shh," she soothed. "I was just playing, Karen! It's okay!"  
  
"No. . .no. . ." I moaned. "It was bad. . .bad. . .bad. . ."  
  
I knew she was trying not to laugh, and I can't blame her. "Karen, it's alright. Just tell me what happened. Maybe I can help."  
  
"Okay, I will," I gushed. "We went to the beach - "  
  
"Wait," Popuri said, blowing a wispy ringlet of pink hair out of her eyes. "First you need to stop crying."  
  
I sniffled and shivered. "Okay." Breathing deeply, I scooped the tears out from under my eyes, and Popuri grabbed a few tissues from a convenient dispenser and handed them to me. "Well, it was still kind of early after the festival, so we went to the beach and just stood there. And oh, the sky was so pretty, and ocean was wonderful, and the moment just seemed right. Especially after he was all," - and here I deepened my voice - , "'I had a really nice time with you, Karen.' And so we were all close all the sudden and then he kissed me!" I held back a sob.  
  
"Did you kiss him back?"  
  
I nodded my head sadly, wiping more tears away. "And it was like, a BIG kiss! Like, a REALLY big one."  
  
"What happened then?"  
  
"I realized what was happening and pulled away and used Ann as an excuse to go home."  
  
"Oh. And you haven't talked to him since?"  
  
"Nope." I sniffled some more. "Swear not to tell anyone?"  
  
"I swear." She held out her right pinky finger, which I grasped in my own. We shared a temporary smile, and then I realized the rain had ceased outside.  
  
Popuri caught my gaze out the window and jumped off the floor. "I'll go get your clothes out of the dryer. Be right back." She disappeared from the room, and then returned with my almost completely dry shirts. I changed again, gave Popuri a hug and a thank-you, and left the shoppe.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: I know, I know: it was really short. But I figured it'd been so long since I updated, and this will last y'all until I figure out what happens next. =) Just playing, I know what's going to happen; it'll just take me a while to get it down in writing. Hope y'all enjoyed this chapter!  
  
Oh, and GUESS WHAT!? I'm gonna write a FUN-FIC! It's gonna be a Harvest Moon romance! And it's gonna be based on A Wonderful Life, which I bought and have fallen in love with. It's going to be such a FUN FIC! Yaaay! But it'll probably take me a while to get it up and stuff. Homework. . .yeah. . .Please review! 


	13. The Twist

The Twist  
  
Amaya: This seems to be the most controversial topic of this whole fanfic, so if there's only one thing you can take away from this besides salvation, here's what I want you to know. PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS. There is not a matter, as far as I know, of which "religion" is "best." All anyone really has to worry about is which "religion" is TRUE. Besides that, Christianity is not a religion; it's a relationship with God, a lifestyle according to His Word and will, and a faith in His existence despite the fact that we cannot physically see Him. To anyone who is not a disciple of Christ, Christianity may very well seem to be a religion, but if you look at the REAL Christians, the STRONG Christians, you will see that there is no such thing as a Christian religion.  
  
To those of you who have addressed the matter of this fic being unrealistic, fake, or unlikely, these things have nothing to do with the foundations on which my faith, and the faith of many of you who faithfully review, but rather with the quality of this fic. If my story seems unrealistic, DO NOT BLAME THAT ON MY FAITH. Understand that this work is not perfect by any means. I didn't think I would ever have to say that; I was sure you would be able to figure it out on your own, but it seems that you expect too much from my fic simply because it is based on Christianity.  
  
Now that doesn't mean you cannot critique this piece and constructively advise me and all that. Just don't tell me my "religion" is wrong or that yours is better. My mind will not be changed about that.  
  
That said, if you have ANY questions you want to ask me, GO FOR IT! Ask me in a review, please. I promise I will respond in a following chapter.  
  
To all of you Christian reviewers, don't be shaken by those who persecute you. That's definitely one of the main lessons I've learned in writing this fic. "May our Lord Jesus Christ and God our Father, who loved us and in His special favor gave us everlasting comfort and good hope, comfort your hearts and give you strength in every good thing you do and say" (II Thessalonians 2:16-17)  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Though the rain had temporarily stopped, the sky was still blanketed in thick, billowing gray clouds. The air was wet and chilled, I noticed as I stepped cautiously off the porch at Florist Lillia's. I glanced around me to confirm no one was hanging about and then walked toward the nearest side of the bakery where a small, slightly elevated window peeked into the quaint little shop. I reached up to wipe the dirty, wet glass with the end of my sleeve and then stood on my tip-toes to peer in.  
  
I snorted when I saw Jack still sitting comfortably at a table sipping a mug of coffee or something with a charming smile on his face. For some reason my insides burned with jealousy and even anger when I realized that the charming smile on his face was targeted at Elli, who sat across from him at the table.  
  
Oh, no way was I going to go in there now. I saw Jeff bringing a tray to their table with two plates of fluffy white cake with luscious vanilla icing spread on all dimensions, and my mouth watered. I licked my dry lips with a sad expression.  
  
I wanted some cake!  
  
I lowered myself until I stood flatfooted again and scoffed. Stupid Jack.  
  
I didn't like him at all. Maybe it was because he treated me like I was something more than a whiny, spoiled, mean, jealous, cruel, angry, selfish, teenage bartender. Actually, the boy was rather nice and friendly to me, but for some reason, I didn't like it. Maybe it was just because his boyish charisma and clever wit flustered me. Maybe I was just afraid of a change in my dull, same-old-same-old life. Maybe I was afraid of committing to a friendship.  
  
I thought about how Jack and me said we were going to be friends. That was back when his looks and personality intrigued and attracted me.  
  
Actually, when I thought harder about it, I still felt that physical attraction in the pit of my stomach and in the depths of my heart. Even peering again in the window, seeing his heart throbbing smile and breathtaking brown eyes, my tummy was tickled by little pink and yellow butterflies and my heart felt as big and round as a bowling ball in my throat.  
  
Maybe that's what scared me.  
  
Maybe that's why I'd kissed Kai last night: as an excuse to get away from those frightening emotions.  
  
I shivered, so caught up in my thoughts that I forgot where I was. In fact, I was so caught up in my thoughts that I nearly experienced flight when I felt a warm hand on my lower back. "DAH!" I yelped, whirling around to find myself face-to-face with...  
  
KAI!  
  
"DAH!" I yelped again. He instinctively grasped my forearm with a gentle hand, but I intuitively twisted away. "What are you DOING?" I screeched angrily.  
  
His eyes lit up with surprise, and he stepped back a couple feet. "I'm sorry, I just –"  
  
"DAH!" I barked, my hands mechanically clenching the skin on my temples into wrinkles and knots. I fell against the wall of the bakery with a soft thud. My surprise had faded seconds ago; I was only afraid. Afraid and completely without knowledge of what to do.  
  
"Karen, what?" he tried. "What's wrong?"  
  
I gasped dramatically. I wanted to say, "I think you know what's wrong, mister!" but I kept my trap shut.  
  
He tried to step closer, but I, still leaning my back against the bakery wall, held both hands out like they were stop signs. I exhaled for so long you would have thought I was going into shock, but I just whispered, "Please don't, Kai, please don't."  
  
"Please don't what?" he asked.  
  
Now I was just annoyed.  
  
"Don't what, Karen?" he repeated more irritatingly than the time before.  
  
"Do this," I said, my voice so soft I could barely hear it myself.  
  
He had the nerve to roll his eyes a little. "Do what?"  
  
"Don't play stupid, Kai!" I burst.  
  
His shoulders slumped like they were heading for the ground. "I'm not PLAYING stupid, Karen; I AM stupid." He sighed and looked away.  
  
"So what now, Kai, you want me to feel sorry for you?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Then stop rolling your eyes and sighing like a little girl and tell me what's the matter!"  
  
"You tell me what's the matter, Miss Drama Queen!"  
  
I gasped sharply. "That'll win my heart, Kai!"  
  
"Who said I was trying to win your heart?" Kai's voice was loud.  
  
As was mine. "Oh, I don't know, I think I heard about it at the beach last night!"  
  
Silence flooded the gap between us until we were completely immersed in it.  
  
I sidestepped right and walked fast away from Upper Flowerbud Village. A single tear formed in the corner of my left eye and dripped down to the edge of my nose, where it was wiped harshly away. I heard him calling after me but didn't stop, and I knew he wouldn't chase after me. Kai was just not that way.  
  
Knowing Kai and the connection I had with him, he would probably confront me in the bar tonight.  
  
I was passing Green Ranch to get to the beach when a clap of thunder reminded me that another deluge of rain was coming soon. For a few seconds I stared at the ranch house, trying to decide if I should go in and talk to Ann or not.  
  
Finally, I felt a few drizzles of soft rain on my cheeks and was nearly blinded by a spark of lightning in the sky, and began walking to the small, cozy wooden house.  
  
Gray opened the door before I even knocked. I looked at him sort of apologetically. "I saw you out front through the window," he said, expressionless except for a teensy-weensy smile on his lips. His ugly ball cap cast a familiar shadow on his eyes, and I felt an urge to push the hat off onto the floor...but I resisted. "Ann's in her bedroom." He opened the door fully, and I stepped through.  
  
"Thanks, Gray," I murmured, walking to Ann's bedroom, my shoes clapping on the hardwood floor with every step.  
  
I knocked once and opened the slight wooden door. Ann was lying on her back on her pastel yellow comforter, her knees bent, bare feet flat on the bedspread, reading a magazine. Her sunset orange hair sprawled for two feet behind her head. She was wearing pajama bottoms that had little ducks on them and a plain white spaghetti strap top. "Dad?" she said without tearing her eyes from the magazine. When I didn't respond, she said, "Dad, when you say 'Ann, you can have a day off tomorrow', I tend to take it literally, as you may have noticed."  
  
"Hey, Ann," I said.  
  
My best friend finally rolled over onto her stomach and looked up. When she realized it was me, she threw her magazine aside, jumped off the bed, and wrapped me in her embrace. She squeezed me tighter than usual, I noticed, and I was about to tell her everything when she said, with a tearful crack in her voice, "Kai told me everything, Kare-bear. It's gonna be ok. Just let it all out."  
  
So I sobbed into her shoulder until I ran out of tears, her hold on me never yielding.  
  
~oOo~  
  
Five-thirty came around, and I remembered I had to get to work. Duke had already warned me three times about being late, so I ski-daddled half an hour early. I brought Ann along, too, after our long day of girl-talk, a mini-makeover, and our age-old, original game of "Fun in the Kitchen with Karen and Ann." You can probably guess all the fun we had with that.  
  
When I got there, it was luckily before the bar opened. Duke was nowhere in sight, so I headed back into the room marked "Employees Only," and found him pulling out a spray bottle of 409 and a roll of paper towels. "Karen! Nice punctuality. Squirt off those tables, would ya?"  
  
I put on my spiffy red waiter's tool-belt, equipped with napkins, straws, change, mints, a notepad, and several pens, and did as the boss instructed. Ann sat at the corner table until I finished.  
  
Finally, the big ugly clock struck six and the village people started flooding in. Tonight was going to be pretty busy, I could already tell.  
  
I laughed when Ann ordered a virgin marguerita. Sweet, simple, angelic Ann. I knew she'd only had about three or four alcoholic drinks in her life and didn't much care for the taste...or the aftermath. I suppose I didn't care much for it either, but that didn't stop me from regularly drinking the stuff.  
  
At around seven, I was surprised to see Jack enter the bar wielding a Bible. Immediately upon entrance, the boy lifted the book into the air and shouted, "Who wants to come sit with me and hear some stuff about GOD?"  
  
I promise the whole building was silent as a graveyard at midnight. For a whole minute the boy must've stood there, his eyes set determinedly, his lips pressed tight into a firm line.  
  
I glanced without moving my head at Ann. Her eyes blazed with blue rage. I could almost read her mind, "How dare he blast the goddess in this way!" No one's family was more religious than hers.  
  
Duke continued on with his business, quietly polishing a fancy wine glass. A few of the adults scratched their heads as if to decline Jack's invitation.  
  
Finally, Little Elli stood up and quietly said, "I do."  
  
In unison the entire bar gasped as she stepped over next to Jack. The farmer boy smiled at her as he had this morning, and for an instant I wanted to join them just so I would receive that same smile, but I stood stock still.  
  
The two of them made their way to a table, where they sat across from each other and Jack opened up this strange new book.  
  
And before I knew it, the bar was alive with chatter again. Everyone was back to their own business except for the few who joined Elli and Jack. I noticed Jeff, Maria, Harris, and Basil heading over to the table, all on their own time.  
  
"What IS this?" Ann bellowed after stepping up in front of the bar counter. "You're allowing this, Duke?"  
  
"Let's just see how it turns out," Duke said in a sort of melancholy voice. "Let the boy have his little time..."  
  
I pretended to be just as angry as Ann, though I really didn't mind so much. Actually, it mellowed out the atmosphere and put the customers in more mild moods. This made MY job much more enjoyable. Angry, impatient drunk people are hard to get along with sometimes.  
  
Business started to slow down around ten thirty. This is when Duke flipped around the open sign, and the crowd started to dissipate. I grinned. I loved it when this happened! It meant more sleep, less anxiety, and a clearer mind the next morning.  
  
When the last customer exited the building, I removed my tool-belt and bid Duke farewell. I had been pleased tonight to see that my Dad had not made an appearance at the bar. This also meant more sleep. On the walk home, I became more and more excited about the comfort of my bed.  
  
"Karen," a voice behind me said before I could open the front door. I turned around.  
  
Kai.  
  
"I'm sorry," he said, his voice hinting at sincerity. "About earlier. I was a jerk. You deserve more respect."  
  
"Thank you," I said unthinkingly.  
  
"Sorry I called you a drama queen."  
  
"It's okay."  
  
It was so quiet you could hear the crickets in the background.  
  
"So what do you think?" Kai said quietly, stepping closer.  
  
"About what?"  
  
"About us."  
  
I hesitated. He was about a foot away from me. I hoped my breath didn't smell. "I think...it's worth a shot."  
  
Well, I DID like him! He was sweet, and funny, and strong, and handsome, and a really good kisser...I liked him. A lot. More than Jack. Much more than Jack.  
  
Kai startled me by pressing his tender lips against mine in a soft, gentle kiss. I returned the kiss happily, rather liking his warm touch. "Me, too," he said when the short kiss ended.  
  
And he eagerly kissed me again, his fingers gently touching my cheek. This was a feeling much better, much more affectionate, much more tender, much more memorable, and even more passionate than I'd experienced last night. In fact, this feeling was better than anything I'd experienced in my whole life.  
  
~oOoOoOo~  
  
Amaya: SURPRISE!! Betcha weren't expecting that! Dang, I wrote all of that in one sitting. Whew, I'm getting butterflies just WRITING about all that! Hahaha!  
  
So anyway, yeah...the story's taking more of a twist than I thought it would. If this isn't what you would have liked then don't worry, 'cause I know something you don't know! And you won't find out what it is until the end! Ha, ha, ha! So anyway, review please! Thanks! 


	14. The Spring Horse Races and the Aftermath

The Spring Horse Races and the Aftermath  
  
Amaya: Okay, okay, okay! Sorry for the long wait...again. But it's summer now so MAYBE I'll get a little more consistent. Thanks much to all my reviewers! Love y'all!  
  
Oh, and guess what! This fic has been up for a year! That's a really long time!  
  
Disclaimer: Nope.  
  
oOoOoOo  
  
Of course, Ann was the first to find out, but before the day of the Spring Horse Race rolled around, the whole village knew exactly what was going on between Kai and me.  
  
Things were a bit awkward at first, since the two of us had been just friends for so long, but after the first week or so, we were comfortably roaming the beach, mountain, and village with hands intertwined. Mother once told me that we had very good chemistry that reminded her of Pappy and Lyssa Mae. At this, I blushed with embarrassment and at the same time beamed with pride. I couldn't think of a greater compliment.  
  
oOo  
  
"AAARRR!!" I growled at the bathroom mirror. "This isn't working!" No matter how many times I ran the straightening iron over my hair, the ends wouldn't quit flipping out. "This is MOST frustrating!"  
  
It was the day of the Spring Horse Races. I knew there would be a lot of pictures being taken today, and I wanted to look pretty in all of them. But I didn't know what I was going to do if my straightener wouldn't do its job!  
  
"Come on, Karen!" Kai hollered up the stairs. "It's already a quarter 'til! We're gonna be late if we don't get a move on!"  
  
"Hold on!" I screamed back. "My hair is not cooperating!"  
  
"I'm sure you look fine!"  
  
"I'm sure I DON'T!" With one final roar I yanked the plug out of the wall and threw my hair up into a ponytail. Angrily tucking my blond bangs behind my ears, I looked in the mirror again. Slightly satisfied, I thundered downstairs.  
  
Kai looked nice. "See?" he said with a handsome smile. "You look beautiful."  
  
I looked down at my new black top and blue jeans, fingering my stylish pink hoop earrings, then looked back up at Kai and gave a little smile. "Thank you," I murmured bashfully, my voice barely above a whisper.  
  
He grinned at me handsomely, holding out his hand for me. I took it, my cheeks flushing strawberry red. My insides twisted upon the tickle of the butterflies that had long since escaped my stomach.  
  
Once we were outside and walking toward Upper Flowerbud Village, arm in arm, much like we had on our way to the Sowing Festival, I began to joke, "You're not just sucking up so I'll buy you cotton candy, are you?"  
  
He looked at me with mock guilt in his playful brown eyes but then broke into a warm laugh. "No, I promise." He paused. "But cotton candy does sound rather nice, doesn't it?"  
  
I laughed. "I could actually go for some roasted corn."  
  
He dug in his pocket for a second. "Done." Using his thumb, the boy flicked a single gold coin into the air, but before he caught it again, I snatched it from just above his open palm and dropped it into his gaping pants pocket.  
  
"You paid for my snacks last time." With that, I gave his pocket a little pat and grabbed a few coins from my own purse.  
  
Kai shook his head as we approached the stairs leading up to the town square. I caught the familiar scent of horses in my nostrils as we ascended. In fact, the fragrance nearly drowned out the lovely aroma produced by the blooming cherry blossom trees that heartily surrounded the old cobblestone square.  
  
People were everywhere. And not just villagers...There were many who had traveled from neighboring islands or even from as far as the mainland. I was sure they'd all be heavily disappointed. This year's horse race was going to be a mighty bore due to the absence of a jockey to represent the Green Ranch.  
  
And really, for most of the locals, the horse races were merely a chance to socialize and a good excuse to party at the bar afterward. And for those thrill-seekers around here, the betting was definitely a lot riskier nowadays. Again, since there was no contestant from the Green Ranch, there was really no sure winner.  
  
As Kai and I walked through the square, toward the bakery booth, exchanging waves and smiles with friends and neighbors, I prepared myself for the emotional breakdown Ann was sure to have before the first race began.  
  
My preparations were most certainly not in vain, for there came Ann, her blue eyes flaming with anger and unhappiness, her orange braid swinging sharply behind her head. Though her mouth, set in a firm, angry frown, seemed to be proof enough that she was furious, she collapsed into my arms with tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. "Oh, Ann!" I said, stroking her back with both hands. "It'll be alright...next year, or maybe even this fall, y'all will find a good jockey..."  
  
"No, Karen, we won't! Daddy told me this morning that our racing days are over! For good!" She had pulled away before speaking, but now she tumbled back into my embrace.  
  
I shivered in surprise and in the same anger Ann had displayed when she was approaching me. I knew just as well as she that the horse races would not continue much longer as long as Green Ranch did not participate.  
  
There were plenty of horses at the Ranch that were good for riding, but the only one built for racing was the famous Cliffgard. Though the search had stretched for almost three years, a jockey who could work the animal could not be found.  
  
Everyone knew the only person in the world who could do such a thing was Gray, but the boy refused to even think about riding again. Sure, he was perfectly fine physically, but emotionally, it seemed to us that he simply could not bear the weight of his own fear. Or perhaps, he just didn't want to disappoint, enrage, hurt, or emotionally damage the life of another person again...?  
  
"As long as my stubborn, selfish, STUPID brother keeps being such a scaredy- cat SISSY, we'll never race again!" Ann sobbed. "If only we hadn't given away Cliff's brother to Jack! Surely that horse would have grown up to be just as good as Cliffgard! And now JACK has him! Now JACK will win all the races, and all the credit will go to the Moonlit Farm, and Green Ranch will be totally forgotten! We'll go out of business and me and the boys'll work at the BAR for a living...no offense, Karen...and our lives will crumble and I'll die ALONE...Just wait and see, Karen, just wait and see!"  
  
By now, Kai had disappeared into a group of guys fraternizing near the soda booth. I firmly planted my hands onto Ann's shoulders and pushed her off my body gently. "Ann, if you wanna see a rundown business and some crumbled lives, look at the vineyard, ok? Don't you ever talk about your ranch like that again! Y'all will be fine, ok? It'll all work out...Just don't stress. 'Cause I've heard the more you stress the more likely you are to catch depression."  
  
Ann smiled a little. "Thanks, Karen..."  
  
I wrapped her in a warm, friendly, it's-all-gonna-be-ok hug.  
  
"And by the way," she added as we walked off with our arms around each other, "you don't 'catch' depression."  
  
oOo  
  
"...second place, Hardy from the Winchester Horse Farm! And first place, Shotgun from the Livestock and Poultry Ranch in Northern Deneroville!" Everyone in the stands whooped and whistled for the last winner of the Spring Horse Race. "And that's all, folks!" said the mayor over the rusty old intercom. "I hope you enjoyed your time here at the Flowerbud Spring Horse race, and I hope to see you again next fall! Oh, and for all you Flowerbud Villagers, don't forget to begin your voting for the Spring Harvest Goddess tomorrow!"  
  
With that, the people stood from their seats and began flooding out the gates leading back into the square. Already the sun was setting, and everyone was anxious to get out, whether it be to the bar, to the ferry, or to their homes. As for me, I'd made sure to get a seat near the gate so I could hustle out just as soon as it ended and get ready for business at the bar. And so, with Kai and Ann at my heels, I did just that.  
  
oOo  
  
"O-pen, O-pen, O-pen!" the village men chanted from outside as Duke and I dragged the final few extra tables out and set the additional chairs in place, wiping off the dust and grime that had settled on them since the last horse race. Finally, I stomped madly over to the window, flipped around the open/closed card, and clicked the ON button for the new neon "NOW OPEN" sign.  
  
"YEEAAHH!" they all roared as they came pouring in. And after that I knew it was going to be a very stressful night indeed.  
  
I spent the rest of the evening catering to a bunch of impatient, boisterous, obnoxious, and bluntly annoying men's every whim.  
  
"It's a mite hot in here, ain't it, Karen?"  
  
"Karen, could you dim the lamp? It's shining right in my eye."  
  
"Need a refill over here!"  
  
"Hey, doll, can ya top me off sometime today?"  
  
"This steak is too rare!"  
  
"WHAT is THIS?"  
  
"Um, my potatoes are really cold."  
  
"Where's my lemon? HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR!"  
  
Then finally some sympathy: "Karen, you look exhausted." It was Kai, here to lift my spirits! Yaaay!  
  
I almost fell against the edge of his table. "Yeah, well, I've seen worse." I scanned my brain. Wait...had I?  
  
"Come here," he said, motioning with his finger. I leaned in with a smile until I smelled the heavy liquor on his breath, which is when I immediately pulled back.  
  
"Actually," I said, as I stepped away, "I think I'll pass on that." I saw him frown before I turned my back to wait on another impatient partier.  
  
The night continued similarly to this until about three in the morning, when Duke began literally shoving the late-nighters out the door, two of which were Kai and my father. I sighed into Ann's shoulder. "I don't wanna go home," I whimpered. "Can I spend the night at your place?"  
  
She scoffed. "Ain't gonna be much better there. Let's find Elli."  
  
It was then that I realized Elli hadn't been there at the bar that night. 'Actually,' I thought, 'There were a lot of people not here tonight...' Jack hadn't been there, nor Jeff, nor Basil, nor even the mayor! There were more, I knew, but I was much too tired to think about it much more.  
  
Ann seemed to be thinking about the same thing. "Hey, Duke?" she said.  
  
"Yeah?" the boss answered, still behind his counter.  
  
"There were a lot of people missing here tonight – "  
  
Before she finished, Duke cut in, "Yeah. I know. 'Bible study' at the Moonlit Farm. Guess I should've listened to you guys that night when Jack came in wavin' that blasted book around."  
  
Ann was angry, I could tell, but I was WAY too drained to console her right then.  
  
All I needed to know was that since Elli and Jeff hadn't been there, no one at the bakery house would be drunk, therefore making it the best place to stay the rest of the night.  
  
"Yeah," I muttered as I followed her through the door. "Let's go."  
  
We were silent on the brief walk to the bakery. We were hesitant to knock because the lights were all out and we heard no noise from inside, but eventually Ann rapped her knuckles on the door cautiously. I heard a door from inside creak open and then soft footsteps on the wood floor within.  
  
Elli cracked the door open and peeked her face through, her eyes squinting with fatigue. "Hey, guys," she said groggily. "Whatcha need?"  
  
"Can we stay the night?" I asked reluctantly. "Our boys got a little out of hand tonight."  
  
I had expected her to laugh, but Elli's face filled with seriousness and almost...sadness?...as she fully opened the door. "I kind of expected that," she said after closing it behind us. "Come on back." And she led us to her bedroom quietly. "And try and be quiet, 'cause Granny Ellen's sound asleep. Sorry we can't have like, a girl talk or anything."  
  
I shook my head. "Way too tired for that anyway."  
  
Elli offered both of us her bed, but we practically forced her back into it and simply curled up on the floor beneath a lovely wool blanket.  
  
oOo  
  
Elli was up at the crack of dawn the next morning, as was Granny Ellen, but Ann and I slept until noon. And we would've gone longer, but Ann's father came and woke us up, complaining Ann's absence had slowed down their morning chores and now the whole schedule was in the toilet. After she left, I tried to go back to sleep just for an excuse not to go back home, but couldn't keep my eyes closed.  
  
I kept thinking about Kai getting wasted last night. Would he remember today? Would he apologize? Would he even know that he should apologize? Why should he apologize?  
  
Because he had scared me. Seeing this man, this man I was supposed to be dating...this man who was supposed to be my boyfriend, behaving in a way that so reminded me of my alcoholic, potentially abusive father... That scared me.  
  
What if I ended up marrying Kai...? What if he continued to behave as he had last night? What if we became just like my parents? Running a fallen vineyard under a non-existent goddess's curse, he a drunken fool, I a pathetic, self-pitying housewife just like my mother. What if we had children who grew up to be just as miserable as I was now?  
  
All the what-ifs literally brought me to tears, and I quietly snuck away from the bakery and made my way home to confront Kai.  
  
But on the way home I saw him walking down the crossroads, and he saw me. The look in his eyes, even from a distance, told a story of genuine regret. We both began to walk faster toward each other until he fiercely enfolded me in his arms, holding me close. With my head pressed hard against his chest, I heard the quick beating of his heart. "I'm sorry, Karen," he murmured. Was that a tear in his voice? "I'm sorry...I was an idiot."  
  
"Never again?" I asked hopefully, my own voice cracking tearfully.  
  
"Never again," he repeated, "never again."  
  
oOo  
  
BRING! BRING! BRING! BRING!  
  
It was the same hour since Kai's apology, and I excitedly raced up the stairs to answer my phone. I felt so cool getting phone calls!  
  
"Hello?" I answered it happily.  
  
"Karen!" a man's voice said.  
  
"Jack?"  
  
"Gol-LY, I been trying to get a hold of you for the past four hours!"  
  
"What is it?" I said, sensing worry in his voice. I discarded the fact that I didn't like him momentarily.  
  
"Well, I got somebody here that you just might want to see."  
  
oOoOoOo  
  
Amaya: I must say, that really was VERY fun to write. So I hope you enjoyed it, too. A little Karen/Kai drama, eh? That's always fun, am I right? Alright, review please! 


	15. The Return of the Cousin

Return of the Cousin  
  
_**A note from the author: I'm totally sorry for the long wait between updates...volleyball has been keeping me busy (sort of) but now that that is over, I just might start becoming more consistent...?  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own Harvest Moon.  
**_  
oOoOoOo  
  
"Somebody I want to see? Who?" I asked, lying back on my bed, the phone against my ear.  
  
"Just come over, Karen," Jack said firmly.  
  
I was slightly frustrated with him for just bossing me around, but decided to just follow his instructions. "This better not be some sort of trick or something, Jack. I am serious, I have plans this afternoon, so –"  
  
"Trust me." Jack sounded like he was trying to hurry. "You'll forget all about your plans, ok?"  
  
"Ok!" I moaned whiningly. I hung up without saying good-bye and sauntered, annoyed, down the stairs. "Hey, Kai," I said to the purple-bandana-ed man on the living room sofa. "Can we maybe go to the beach tomorrow sometime, 'cause Jack insists that I go to his house right now, and then I've got the all night shift at the bar."  
  
Kai arched his dark eyebrows and stood. "Well, sure...Do you think he'd mind if I went with you?"  
  
I smiled a little and shrugged. "Nah. Come on along."  
  
The sky had clouded since that afternoon, so that a translucent layer of humid air covered the sun. The pathway before us was squishy with the thin amount of rain that had fallen since we'd been inside. Turns out, Kai declared, that it was supposed to storm again tonight. "Great," I complained. "I hope all this silly rain clears up before the Flower Festival."  
  
"Thought you didn't like the Flower Festival," Kai said, hands in his deep pockets.  
  
"Well..." I breathed. It was true. I'd never really been that big a fan of the festival. Since I was fifteen, the eligible age of qualification to run for Flowerbud Goddess, I'd participated in the contest, but never won. Up till now, all the flowers, frillies, and fluff had seemed boring, shallow, and stupid. But as I walked alongside Kai on the muddied pathway, I realized I was actually looking forward to the upcoming festival. The idea of getting all dressed up, spending time with the other girls, and being part of the center of attention for one flowery day actually looked like fun. Perhaps I had simply matured?  
  
"Aw, you're so excited," Kai bumped his elbow against my arm, "I can tell by that glow-y smile."  
  
My cheeks beamed a peachy pink, especially when he placed his warm hand in mine. After a few seconds of comfortable silence, I said, "I wonder what Jack wants. On the phone he said there was somebody at his house that he figured I'd wanna see." I was drawing blanks and hoping it was someone interesting.  
  
As he opened the front gate to the Moonlit Farm, Kai let go of my hand and said, "Well, we'll just see." Once we had reached the ugly rust-red door to Jack's home, Kai rapped his knuckles on it.  
  
"Oh, let's just go in," I said, twisting the doorknob with impatience. The door swung open, and the first thing I saw was Jack, pulling up his blue jeans over a pair of way-too-"flattering" plaid boxers. I laughed a little and muttered as I looked away momentarily, "That was some very white skin that I didn't really need to see."  
  
Kai chuckled for a second, along with Jack, who didn't seem half as embarrassed as I would've been. But then a stunned expression electrified Kai's face as he looked to the end of the sofa on the right side of the room. "Oh my _gosh_! Cliff, is that you?"  
  
I turned back around at the mention of my cousin's name. "Oh, my goddess, it's you!" I exclaimed, shocked and surprised, though I shouldn't have been.  
  
And there was Cliff, his back hunched over as he sat on the armrest of the sofa munching on an overflowing ham and turkey sandwich. He quickly swallowed and stood from his slouched position. "Karen! Kai!" He held out his skeletal arms in a wide gesture of salutation.  
  
I ran into them with fervor and squeezed him with all my might. "Oh, Cliff, you're all skin and bones! You'll need more than that skimpy little sandwich to fill you up..."  
  
"It's his seventh one today," Jack put in. "Plus three bowls of cereal and practically an entire gallon of milk."  
  
I stepped back so Kai could hug my cousin. They slapped each other's backs like the old friends that they were. "My goddess," I kept saying, "I've missed you so much."  
  
As I again embraced Cliff, he answered, "I've missed you, too, Karen, I've missed you, too."  
  
Jack, whose pants had long since been buttoned and secured by a belt, spoke up, "Well, I've got some errands to run in town, so I'll be getting outta y'all's hair. You can hang around here if you like, just don't steal anything." He smiled and winked and headed out.  
  
"Dork," I said after he'd left. Kai bumped my stomach with his fist, a sly smile on his face. I smiled back, still acting gigglingly from how Kai had held my hand before. "Cliff," I said, "What are you doing here? Why didn't you just come home?"  
  
Cliff shrugged. "I was tired and kinda weak, and this place was a little bit closer. I remembered Pappy and came in only to find Jack."  
  
"Oh...weak from hunger I guess, then?" I asked. My cousin nodded meekly before we headed into a moment of silence.  
  
"So," Cliff began to speak through a visible mouthful of ham, turkey, lettuce, and tomato, "Jack tells me you guys are together now. Since when?"  
  
I was too busy blushing up a storm to answer, so Kai said, "Well, it's kinda complicated. I guess, officially, you would say since the ninth, so about...a week and a half."  
  
"Oh," Cliff dragged out the syllable. "So what's been happening around here? I heard the horse race was yesterday, and it went okay. No freak accidents like last time, then?"  
  
Kai chuckled dryly, but I remained silent in remembrance. "No," said the boy next to me, "thankfully. But things are weird nowadays with no competitors from Green Ranch. That's where the money is, too, so nobody's really enjoying it as much as usual. Ann 'bout had a breakdown yesterday."  
  
Cliff's eyes sparked when he suddenly remembered the girl with freckles and hair as noticeably bright as a forest fire who had a strong opinion against practically everything Cliff ever did. "So I guess the girl's not doin' so well, eh?"  
  
"No, no, she's fine," I replied, scratching my head, "She just got upset yesterday because her dad is being an idiot about the whole racing situation. Other than that, she's okay."  
  
Cliff nodded, his brown eyes distant and vague. "What about the others? Gray, Elli, Jeff, Popuri...? How is everybody?"  
  
"Ah, nothing's changed much," I said. "Other than Pappy's..." I couldn't spit it out. I couldn't say it. It was even too much to think.  
  
_Death._

__   
  
I felt a wave of grief pass through my veins, slowly bringing me to painful tears. Literally painful. They were hot, stinging, and bitter to the touch. I didn't want to look like a fool in front of the guys so I tried hard to suck it up and pretended to just itch at the corners of my eyes.  
  
But the insightful Cliff could see right through the silly act and immediately reached forward to wrap his arms around me. I buried my face in his shoulder and shut my eyes tightly as if to force out any tears brave enough to try and escape. Murmuring consoling words into my ear, Cliff gently rubbed and patted my back.  
  
With a final sniff I pulled away and wiped at my nose remorsefully. "Yeah, and now Jack's here, so..."  
  
"Yeah, he seems like a nice guy," said Cliff.  
  
I rolled my eyes, puffy though they were. "Yeah, he's great," I answered sarcastically. Kai and Cliff looked at each other; Kai shrugged with a look on his face that said, "It's beyond me."  
  
"What's wrong with Jack?" Cliff asked, still chomping loudly on his sandwich. "You don't like him?"  
  
I scrunched up my shoulders and shook my head a little, holding my hands out in question of my own emotion. My dislike for Jack was still unexplainable. I really had no logical reason to dislike him; it was almost as if I was purposefully trying to abstain from having any good feeling toward him at all. So much for having matured. "I don't know, he's just so – "  
  
"Friendly?" Kai said. His voice indicated he was making a point. A point that stated I didn't like friendly people.  
  
I scowled at him. "Don't mess with me like that," I uttered, my tone sharp and mean. "Jack is pushy. He crosses lines that just shouldn't be crossed."  
  
"What kind of lines?" Cliff asked after swallowing a huge morsel of meat. "If I remember correctly, you said to me on the phone – "  
  
"You called him?" Kai said suddenly. "When?"  
  
"When Jack got here," I answered Kai's question in an attempt to keep Cliff from saying what I know he was fixing to say.  
  
"You said to me on the phone," Cliff persisted, "that this Jack believes the same things Pappy believed, and the same things I believe. So are you pointing out that Jack is too pushy about his faith?"  
  
"His faith? Faith in what?" I questioned harshly. Before continuing to interrogate Cliff I had a second thought and then said, "Let's just talk about this later. You just got here, and already we're arguing about...about...STUFF. Let's just talk about this later," I repeated.  
  
Cliff's expression sank. "Fine," he mumbled reluctantly. "And we better. We better talk about this later."  
  
I smiled. "Now there's my Cliffy! What's say we go pick up Ann and head to the bakery for some goodies!" I grinned in spite of myself, remembering I'd just returned from a night spent at the bakery.  
  
The boys nodded. "Sounds good to me."  
  
oOo  
  
"Ann!" I poked my head in the doorway of Ann's bedroom. "Get dressed!"  
  
Ann looked up at me from her desktop. "Karen, I can't go out right now. Daddy's sick, so I have to do all this lame stuff to figure out all this information about cows-"  
  
"Ann!"  
  
"WHAT!" she hollered. "I told you, I can't go out right now!"  
  
"But Ann, Cliff is here!" I skipped over to tug on her arm.  
  
"WHAT?" Ann yelled. "CLIFF IS HERE?" I was sure these were screams of aggravation but when her mouth curved into one of the wider smiles I'd seen from her since Gray's accident, I realized they were squeals of excitement. "OH GODDESS, I have to get dressed!"  
  
"I'm so glad you're excited!" I cried.  
  
"Well, of course!" Ann exclaimed, swinging her closet door open to reveal a much smaller selection of clothing than what Karen called her own. "Why wouldn't I be?"  
  
"Well, I thought you kinda...hated him or something," I said sheepishly.  
  
"What, are you kidding? I don't hate him! Sure, some of the things he does are mildly irksome and considerably frustrating, but I don't hate him! Okay, I haven't got much of a choice here, so it's basically down to jeans with long sleeves or cargos with short. What do you think?"  
  
"Hm, it's rainy, go for jeans and long sleeves," I answered almost thoughtlessly. "Okay, well, good, I'm glad. I'm glad that you don't hate him, because I love him."  
  
"Yeah, I know, that's partly the reason I don't hate him," she answered jokingly as she slid hastily out of her overalls and nasty tee shirt.  
  
"Oh, Ann," I said, once she'd gotten into her new change of clothes, "take your hair down."  
  
"Ew, but it's so humid out!"  
  
"Do it!" I commanded over and over until she finally released her pretty red waves. "There!" I fluffed it a little bit. "It's beautiful. He'll be stunned!"  
  
"Whoa!" Ann stopped short. "What? That's not what I'm going for here, Karen! I don't wanna be your cousin's – "  
  
"Eye candy? Come on, yeah you do!" I urged, pushing her through the door.  
  
"No, no, no!" she shrieked.  
  
"The boys are waiting!"  
  
oOo  
  
After a few hours of celebration of Cliff's arrival, I began my shift at the bar promptly at six. "Karen, you're late," Duke asserted when I walked through the front doors. "There are already customers here!"  
  
I threw a glance at my father dozing off in the corner. Our only customer as of that moment. "Sorry, Duke," I replied half-heartedly, "My cousin just came into town."  
  
The man scoffed quietly and continued to sit idly behind the counter.  
  
It was my turn to scoff. "What-_ever_," I muttered under my breath. "Hey, you!" I called to my father from my current location in front of the door to the backroom.  
  
Daddy quickly looked up at me. There was nothing on the table in front of him. "What?" he asked, clearly not annoyed, but rather actually polite. "What is it, Karen?"  
  
"Do you want anything? You know, the usual beer, the occasional whiskey, the rare shot of brown liquor?"  
  
My dad shrugged. "I'll take a short glass of whiskey, I guess."  
  
"You heard him," I relayed to Duke.  
  
The bartender glared at me warningly. It was then I laid off the smart- aleck comments. Duke prepared the drink quickly, and I walked over, grabbed it off the counter, and plopped it on the table in front of my dad. "Kai tells me Cliff got here today," he said. "Why wasn't I informed of this?"  
  
"You were," I said smartly. "Kai told you."  
  
"You know what else I wasn't informed of?" he asked, tucking in his bottom lip to make a retard face. "You and Kai being 'together.'"  
  
"Oh, come on, Dad," I retorted, "I think we both know the Flowerbud gossip circuit covered that information pretty well."  
  
"Well, not well enough this time, young lady! What if I decide I don't want you to sleep with Kai?"  
  
My eyes went wide as golf balls and I gasped. "Oh, my GODDESS! Who ever said I was sleeping with him? Are you drunk _already_? God-DESS I do _not_ believe this! Daddy, I am **not **doing _anything_ like that!"  
  
Dad snorted rudely. "So is that what you think of me?"  
  
I whirled around from scrubbing a nearby table. "WHAT?"  
  
"You think I'm just some drunk?" he asked, arching his eyebrows, again making the stupid retard face.  
  
"You are!" I snapped the towel angrily as I turned back around to scrub at the table behind me. Apparently somebody had spilled a soda and not bothered to clean it up, so a mean sticky residue had formed over the surface of the wood. "That's all you do, is drink!"  
  
"Oh, and I understand _you_ never drink, Karen!"  
  
"Actually, I haven't had an alcoholic drink since my birthday!" I growled at the stupid sticky mess on the table.  
  
"Oh, wow, Karen, you have made it a whole two weeks!"  
  
"Did I mention I was having a perfectly good day until YOU came along and insulted me and my intelligence!" I recounted the day in my head. Of course, the morning hadn't been the best, but starting at the point when Kai and I made up, it was wonderful. Kai had given me a sweet kiss, we'd gone home, I got the call from Jack, came over to see Cliff, gone to pick up Ann, and spent three fun hours with my two favorite guys in the world and my very best friend eating fattening but yummy stuff at the bakery. But then my daddy came along and... "You think I would do that? You think I would have sex with Kai?"  
  
Suddenly I heard Duke clear his throat as if to send a signal. I looked at him, and then at the front door, where the boss's eyes were directed.  
  
Kai and Ann were walking in.  
  
Quietly, sheepishly I turned my head back towards Daddy and said, my voice barely above a whisper, "Can we just talk about this later please?" in full knowledge that the topic would never be brought up again. At least not until my dad and I got into another argument.  
  
Daddy pushed his drink, not at all drunk from, aside and stood. "I'm outta here anyway. Put it on my tab, Duke. I'll pay you back on Monday. I got a big sale tomorrow. See you later."  
  
The bar was devoured by silence until the door closed quietly behind my father.  
  
Finally, I said, "So you guys want something?" and scrubbed a little more.  
  
"Uh, yeah..." Ann said, clearly trying to break the tension by being cheerful. "I'll have a coke."  
  
"'Kay. Kai?"  
  
He scratched his head for a second. "What?"  
  
"Drink? Food? Want something?" I asked.  
  
"Oh, I'll have a be – "  
  
I gave him a look to remind him of what he'd promised me earlier that afternoon.  
  
"A coke."  
  
"Two cokes," I said to Duke.  
  
"I'm busy," the boss lied. "You do it."  
  
I rolled my eyes discreetly and walked to the soda machine, realizing shortly after that Duke hadn't bothered to get the old thing going early. I was going to say something but decided I was already walking on thin ice tonight. "Sorry, guys, it'll be a few minutes," I said, cranking the thing up. "Want something to eat?"  
  
"Oh, I'm stuffed from all those bakery goodies!" Ann said, rubbing her tummy after plopping down in a chair.  
  
"Oh, come on," I said kiddingly, "You need some meat on those bones, Skinny."  
  
"Hmph," she snorted. "Yeah, right!"  
  
This would normally be something Kai laughed at, but he was silent. I looked at his face; his brown eyes were a little distant. "You want anything, Kai?"  
  
"What?"  
  
"Kai!" I laughed, shaking off the last few uncomfortable moments. "Want some food?"  
  
"Yeah, I'll have a burger please."  
  
"Mm-kay." The soda machine began to whir, so I started getting the drinks poured. "Uh, where's Cliff?"  
  
"At Jack's," Ann answered, with a huge roll of the eyes and a haughty snort. "Bible study. I almost forgot Cliff was so..."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, okay," I interrupted.  
  
Duke swore. "These goddess condemned Bible studies are runnin' down my bar!"  
  
"And didn't they just have one last night?" I asked quizzically.  
  
"Yeah, they sure did; the biggest bar night of the year, aside from New Year's of course."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, okay," I repeated.  
  
Duke dragged out the hours until midnight, despite our obvious lack of promise for good business that night. We probably had a grand total of seven customers the entire night. He was really annoying.  
  
Ann left early.  
  
oOo  
  
"What's wrong with you?" I asked Kai on the walk home. The sky was dark, being it midnight, but stars were not visible due to the rain clouds.  
  
"Nothin'." Kai sniffed.  
  
"Whatever!" I said laughingly. "Something is seriously wrong; you've been so quiet since..." I tried not to gasp. "...oh." I wasn't sure what to say.  
  
I mean, did I want to have sex with Kai?  
  
Well, no! We'd only been together for ten days! Ew! Cheap! No way was I going to sleep with him now!  
  
But would I _ever_ sleep with him? Like, after a few seasons maybe? Or would I want to wait until we got..._married_?  
  
Married...  
  
Not a new thought for me. I was already seventeen and _just now _starting a relationship. Late.  
  
Dang it.  
  
"I just didn't know you felt that way," Kai finally said. "I mean, I knew from the beginning with Ann that she would just never do anything like that before marriage, but I just assumed you'd wanna – "  
  
"What?" I questioned, my feelings hurt. "So you're just with me because you think I'm some cheap sleaze who will totally have sex with you whenever you're ready?"  
  
"What? No!" Kai answered aggressively. "No! I think you know I'm not like that."  
  
"Well, now, I don't know! I mean, you just _assumed_ I would crawl right into bed with you? Did you ever once think I would – "  
  
"It's not like that! Okay? It's just that when you said that, you made it seem like you **never** wanted to..._**DO IT!**_ Is _that_ the way you feel? Never?"  
  
"Well, no! Just...not now."  
  
"Well, duh! We've only been together for what...ten, eleven days? Not even a choice! But I was just worried that...you didn't ever want to..."  
  
"I know. I understand now."  
  
"Thank you," Kai said, exhaling bottled up oxygen.  
  
"Don't thank me," I said slyly, ceasing to walk in the middle of the crossroads. He stopped beside me. "Just kiss me."  
  
He grinned and leaned in to kiss my lips with fervor, even hunger. I kissed him passionately back, wrapping my arms around his neck, touching his exposed hair with my fingers. His hands found their way around my waist. The perfect kiss.  
  
Goddess, it'd been a while since I'd felt this good.  
  
Finally, after an unsure amount of time, Kai cupped my head in his warm hands and tenderly kissed the top of my head. I looked up into his beautiful brown eyes lovingly and kissed him one more time. "Come on," I said when we'd divided, "let's go find Cliff."  
  
oOoOoOo  
  
_**A note from the author: Mmmmmm......I LOVE fluff! Don't you? Oh, and Cliff, too. I LOVE CLIFF! Review please! **_


	16. Awaiting the Festival

Awaiting the Festival  
  
A note from the author: This will be a hard chapter to write. I know this story is like, dragging on for eternity, but please bear with me!  
  
oOoOoOo  
  
The air was tense at the vineyard.  
  
Kai left on the nineteenth for a business trip that Dad was too stressed out to take. Local buyers were pressuring him for more wine for less money. Mother, a part of the Flowerbud Festival Committee, was away from the house for hours upon hours a day preparing for the upcoming Flower Festival.  
  
Meanwhile, I was slaving in the tree grove, helping Mother with festival stuff (me being a goddess contestant), assisting Popuri with planning her sweet seventeen, trying to make Ann fall in love with Cliff, and struggling to keep Kai off my mind. That, and my usual agenda of avoiding Jack.  
  
The latter proved to be one of the harder tasks of the lot. The farmer's popularity was growing to the point at which nobody could quit talking about him. Of course, many of the things said were complaints about his Bible study, comments about his "deceptive charisma," and gripes of his subtle flirtatious nature. But negative attention is still attention; all publicity is good publicity. It seemed that no matter where I went, Jack, or at least talk of Jack, was there. The florist, the bar, the Green Ranch, and _especially_ the bakery. Even at my own house, my own mother seemed to be enamored by the boy's maturity and charm.  
  
It was mid-afternoon on the twenty-second day of Spring when the ladies of the village rounded up the five goddess contestants and herded us to Florist Lillia. Mother, Anna, Lillia, Granny Ellen, and Anella the midwife followed us through the front door of the flower shop with excited expressions lighting up their faces. "Oh, goddess," Ann muttered, walking ahead of me as we entered the room, "It feels so good in here. It's so hot outside!"  
  
"I know," Elli turned around to say. "I hope it's not this bad tomorrow. Our gowns will like, stick to us."  
  
"Ew!" I cringed. _Nasty_.  
  
"Nothing more attractive than a sweaty, stinky, sunburned goddess," laughed Ann funnily.  
  
Popuri giggled, apparently having listened to the conversation, as we all followed the elders' instructions to look their way.  
  
"Listen up, ladies!" Lillia called, her voice light and fluffy as a Three Musketeers bar. We looked up at her. "We've finally finished your goddess gowns!" The room was suddenly flooded with excitement as we all looked at each other with gaping smiles and wide eyes. As the mothers bustled into the back room to gather up the gowns, the rest of us immediately burst into conversation.  
  
"I'm so excited!" I exclaimed to Ann and Elli, who sat on either side of me.  
  
Ann grinned, "I am, too. I never really appreciated this festival before, but I'm actually really wound up about it this year."  
  
Elli nodded in agreement, looking down at her belly and rubbing it with both hands. "Golly, they measured us for these dresses like, two and a half seasons ago...I just hope I haven't gained any weight since then."  
  
I laughed and poked her with my bare elbow. "You're the one who's been dieting. And Ann gets a workout everyday. All I do is eat and clip grape vines."  
  
"Well, you've got muscly arms," Ann said, jabbing my bicep with her index finger.  
  
"Yeah, and they'll look just dandy in a flowy goddess gown," I said with a roll of the eyes.  
  
The mothers began filing back in through the door. I immediately noticed that each of the gowns were of different colors, a welcome change from the plain white dresses of the past years. The vibrant colors seemed to be of purposeful resemblance to the beautiful spring flowers blossoming on the trees in the village and in the grass on the mountain.  
  
Each mother brought a dress to their daughter, with the exception of Ann, who received her gown from Anella, and Elli, who accepted hers from Granny Ellen. Mother was approaching me with a gorgeous darker-than-lavender, lighter-than-purple masterpiece of silky cloth overlapped with a thin layer of tulle, veil-like material. It was sleeveless, with a V neckline that dropped down not too low, but lower than I would've expected my mother to make. About halfway down, slightly below the waist area, the dress fell into layers that cascaded to where my toes would be. "Mother," I gasped, instantly in love. I surprised myself with the level of affection in my tone. "It's beautiful. Oh, I can't wait to wear it."  
  
As she humbly placed the gown into my hands, my mother sniffled and wiped a few tears from the corner of her eyes. "I'm glad you like it, Karen," she said modestly.  
  
"Like it?" I said, unable to tear my eyes away from the thing. "I _love_ it. Thank you, Mother."  
  
"You're welcome...sweetheart."  
  
When she used the endearment that Pappy had fondly used for me, my eyes instantaneously began to flood with tears. I knew she had used the nickname on purpose, and it was perfect that she did so. I actually liked being reminded of the old man now. How I wished he could be there to see me tomorrow, wearing the wonderful dress made just for me, in the arms of a boy who made me happier than I'd ever been. I whispered to Mother, "I wish he could be here now."  
  
"We all do, Karen...We all do..." For the first time in a _long_ time, Mother wrapped me in her arms and consolingly stroked my back with her hands. I pressed my face against her shoulder and restrained my tears. "Karen, do you know that I love you?"  
  
I wasn't quite sure what to say. Unable to think of something quick enough, I was silent for a few seconds, until Mother spoke up again.  
  
"I know I'm not a very good mother, but if there's one thing that's good about me, it's how much I love you." My mom sniffed slightly and leaned her head against mine as I squeezed her tightly.  
  
"And I know I'm not at all a good daughter," I murmured, "but...I..." I stammered, "...I...I love you, too."  
  
"Do you really, Karen?" Mother asked, leaning back to look me in the eye. Two teardrops were slowly trekking down her fair, unblemished face.  
  
I looked into her bright eyes and answered, "Yes, I do."  
  
Mother smiled and wiped at her eyes, releasing my shoulders. "Now, we'd, um...we'd better get you into that dress for a moment, and see if anything needs tailoring."  
  
oOo  
  
An hour later, I was marching down the cobblestone path, past the bakery, the church, and the tool shop, on my way to the bar to remind Duke I was taking the night off. Popuri's party would be over by ten, but the tradition was for all five of us girls to spend the night at her house afterwards and get ready for the Festival together the next morning.  
  
It was a torrid, cloudless day, the baby blue sky bright and flawless in the light of the blazing sun. Despite my summer apparel, denim drawstring shorts and a flashy thin-strapped top, I felt as though my blood was boiling under melting skin. I stopped to sweep my chocolate-milk colored hair into a messy bun, wiping the sweat from the back of my neck. My flip- flops dragging on the porch, I flung the bar door open and hollered, "Duke! Duke! Anybody home?" as I stepped inside, pleased to find the air inside the room cool and refreshing.  
  
The man poked his gray head out of the back room and looked at me as if to say, "WHAT?"  
  
"I just wanted to remind you that I won't be here tonight," I said, steadily inching backward. "And I was wondering if I could grab a drink while I'm here. It's ninety-eight degrees outside."  
  
"Oh, right," he said, "and sure. What'll it be?"  
  
"Oh, it's all right, I can get it," I said, surprised at his compassion for a thirsty village-wanderer. For the past few days, Duke had been a snappy, grumpy, cruel dictator of a boss, contrary to the kind-voiced, look-of- understanding-on-his-face Duke I saw behind the counter today.  
  
"So you're running for goddess again this year, Karen?" he asked, stepping out of my way as I scooped myself some ice into a Styrofoam cup.  
  
"Yep," I answered with pride.  
  
"Did you vote for yourself?"  
  
I stood up straight. Vote? _Oops_. "Actually, I'd forgotten about the voting thing. I'm really just in it for the fun. But I suppose I should go vote. Not for myself, though...of course." I had intended to get water, but noticed that the soda machine was whirring. "Why is the soda machine on?"  
  
"Oh, people been droppin' in all day for drinks. That's why I'm here. I guess they just didn't feel like tea and milk from the bakery. Help yourself, long as you got 5Gold on ya." Now there's the Duke I know and hate.  
  
I chuckled and helped myself to a good amount of Dr Pepper. "Well, I've gotta get back to the vineyard," I said, managing to grab the five small coins from my pocket. "I have to do Kai's share, too, since he's away."  
  
"Speakin' o' that one," Duke said just before I pushed completely through the door, "when do you suppose he'll be returning from...?"  
  
"Mexico," I answered. "And he said he'd be back late tonight, so..."  
  
"Okay, then...good bye, Karen."  
  
I waved with my free hand and turned around to see Jack trying to enter the bar. I'd been doing such a good job avoiding him, I'd almost forgotten what he looked like.  
  
Yeah...right.  
  
With a charismatic smile of greeting and gentlemanly nod, he acknowledged me with: "Hey, there. It's been a while since I've seen you."  
  
"Sorry there's no people to bother here," I told him with a clue of cruelty in my tone of voice. But then, "Do you know where Cliff is?"  
  
"He's at Green Ranch."  
  
I couldn't contain a grin. Maybe this Cliff/Ann pairing wouldn't take too long to compose. "What is he doing over there?" I had to ask, letting the door whisk shut behind me as I stepped fully onto the wooden porch.  
  
"Oh, he's been hanging out at my place, y'know, so I gave him some money and told him to buy me some chicken feed...only in hopes that Ann might be there. And I'm guessing she was, 'cause that was about an hour and a half ago."  
  
I smiled back at him. "So you, too, huh?"  
  
"What?"  
  
I was about to tell him I was trying to get them together too, but decided to drop such a silly, childish subject. I didn't want him to think I was some dumb twelve-year-old. Although, I did get most of the "dumb" part right. "Never mind."  
  
"Why are you being so mean?" Jack asked before I could walk past him, though his knee-weakening smile was not lost.  
  
I turned slowly around on my heel. I guess I thought I had an answer to that, but after looking at him in the face, I kind of...forgot? Sheepishly looking at the ground, I remained embarrassingly silent.  
  
"_You_ don't even know, do you?"  
  
I looked up and cocked my head to the side so I could scratch it bashfully.  
  
He looked away for a moment, perhaps at a nearby cherry tree, burying his hands in his blue jean pockets. He rock back and forth on his feet, his thick brown boots making a slight tapping noise on the wood.  
  
I covered my top lip with my bottom one and made a couple of smacking sounds. "I guess..." I began, pulling words from the top of my head. "I guess I might just be...bitter?"  
  
It was Jack's turn to scratch his head. "Bitter about what?"  
  
"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "Maybe I'm just mean by nature."  
  
He gave me a look but then bobbled his head from side to side, his mouth curved into a maybe-so frown. "Could be." He laughed wittily, removing his cap for a second so he could ruffle his length brown locks, probably shaking the sweat away.  
  
I couldn't help but smile. It's just what you do when a guy this cute is talking to you.  
  
"Whatever happened to that thing where we were gonna be friends?" Jack asked, removing his hands from his pockets so he could make an I-don't-know gesture.  
  
"I don't know, Jack, I don't know."  
  
"Would you like to give another shot at that?" I asked, a spark of hope in his deep eyes.  
  
I looked at him quizzically. "Why do you wanna be my friend so bad?" I asked. "I'm not exactly a wonderful person. I'm not even very nice."  
  
Jack clasped a hand to the top of his ball-capped head. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."  
  
I arched my eyebrows, contemplating whether to just take his word for it.  
  
_NAH!  
_  
"Come on! I have to know if you're not some kinda stalker." I snickered.  
  
"I'm afraid that if I tell you, you'll get offended."  
  
"So you _are_ a stalker!"  
  
"No," he laughed in response. "Let's just say...No..."  
  
"Jack, you are just a little strange," I said with a small smile.  
  
"Ok, ok. God's been telling me I should get to know you."  
  
I subconsciously snorted doubtingly and rolled my eyes in disrespect.  
  
"I told you!"  
  
"I'm sorry!"  
  
I could tell Jack wanted to walk away from me. But for some reason...something was keeping him from leaving. "Are you?" he said as if to scold me.  
  
"Yes! It just slipped out. Too much time spent with the Greens, I guess." _And Duke_, I thought to myself.  
  
"Are they real...religious? I mean, to the 'goddess'?" Jack asked curiously.  
  
I grew my eyes. "Yeah," I said with a tremendous nod. "It's _them_ who would've been offended by your little reference to 'God'. It doesn't really matter all that much to me."  
  
"Really? It doesn't?"  
  
"Nah," I said, shaking my head. "My parents do. Cliff could tell you that."  
  
Jack looked past me, at something in the near distance. "Speaking of Cliff, here comes the handsome bachelor now!"  
  
I giggled and turned around to see my cousin jogging briskly up the cobblestone path. "Where've you been all day?" I called to him as he approached us on the porch.  
  
"With Jack," Cliff answered, rolling his big brown eyes jokingly, "slaving at the farm!"  
  
Jack chuckled and answered, "Yeah, buying chicken feed and flirting with Ann sure was a task, huh?"  
  
As his thin, pale cheeks flushed pink, Cliff said, "Harder than you think. Her big brother actually tried to beat me up."  
  
I began to laugh. "What stopped him, Cliff?" I said, poking his scrawny triceps. "Your amazing brute strength?"  
  
"No," Cliff answered matter-of-factly. "Ann gave him a swollen lip."  
  
Jack and I burst into snickers and giggles. "Aw, poor Gray!" I said. "I think he was planning on kissing Popuri tonight at her party!"  
  
"_Kissing_ her?" Jack said loudly. When I quickly shushed him, he hoarsely whispered, "They're not even like, _together_, are they? Definitely missed that one in the gossip loop."  
  
"Oh, no, they're not together," I assured him. "But a kiss is typically a good move after you ask a girl out. Well, that is if you've known her for a long time."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind," Jack said with a joking laugh, "As will Cliff, I imagine!"  
  
The blond-ponytailed boy quickly switched subjects. "So what are you two guys doing here?"  
  
"I was just about to invite Karen to the after-party tomorrow night," Jack answered.  
  
I lifted my eyebrows. "After-party?" Cliff said with a questioning look. "You mean the Bible st – "  
  
"No, the AFTER-PARTY!" Jack burst rapidly. "You know, at MY PLACE!"  
  
I contained a grin and pretended like I didn't hear Cliff's little slip. I realized they were trying to trick me into attending a Bible study and surprised myself by not caring. The "after party" thing was just something I could tell my mother as I left the festival. "Sounds like fun," I said with hidden mischievousness. "So I'm invited?"  
  
"Definitely!"  
  
"Sure!"  
  
"All right!" I said happily. "I gotta go vote for Flowerbud Goddess; I'll see you two dorks later."  
  
Leaving the two on the porch, I exited the area and began the steep walk up the cement stairs to the square, where I knew I could find the single voting booth. I suddenly remembered the Dr Pepper in my hand and sucked half of it up before the top of the steps was reached.  
  
I inhaled the fresh, flowery scent of the Square upon entrance. It was a beautiful sight to behold. Everything was clean and tidy: no trash between the old, worn cobblestones (or bird poo-poo on top of them), no rotten tree limbs rotting away in the corners, even no mold on the wooden benches that lined the border. I saw that several "sponsors" had set up their booths around the perimeter and would fill them with goods tomorrow morning. No decorations had been yet hung, for fear of spoiling the wondrous feeling of surprise.  
  
As I suspected, the junky old ballot box was resting on a table in the very center of the square. I sipped my soda largely while pondering whom I should vote for.  
  
It would be cool if Ann were to be Goddess, but I convinced myself it wouldn't be fair since she'd been victorious last year. She hadn't really enjoyed it all that much anyway.  
  
Maria would've made a lovely goddess...as would Popuri...  
  
But Elli would be wonderful! I could just see her, entering the square triumphantly, surrounded by the graceful losers (me, Ann, Popuri, and Maria), looking absolutely beautiful in her baby blue goddess gown, an enormous crown of many variations of flowers on her little head. Yes, I decided; it would be perfectly fabulous!  
  
After grabbing a slip of paper from the stack to the left of the box, I neatly inscribed Elli's name in the center.  
  
By this time, my Dr Pepper was gone and done, so I tossed it in a nearby wastebasket before turning around to exit the square. But the very first thing I saw, standing at the peak of the stairs with a welcoming smile on his handsome face, was...  
  
"KAI!" I shrieked, running into his outstretched arms. Despite the heat of the afternoon sun, I still enjoyed the warmth of his embrace. With my arms slung tight around his neck and his wrapped around my back, I felt just as much at home as I had in the arms of my mother earlier that afternoon.  
  
"Hey, Karen," he said, pressing his lips firmly against the side of my face. "I missed you."  
  
"I missed _you_!" I said, my voice muffled against his shoulder. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Just dropped by to vote for the most beautiful girl in Flowerbud," Kai answered, gently, slightly parting, just far enough away so he could look me in the eyes.  
  
"You're voting for Ann?"  
  
Kai made a grunting noise. "I'm voting for you, you weirdo."  
  
"You're the weirdo!" I said, resuming my position of melting into his chest. "How was Mexico? What are you doing here so soon?"  
  
"It was okay. The ocean was beautiful...even better than here. Especially at sunset. And it rained for half an hour every day! It was actually pretty great. And I came back a couple of hours earlier because I missed you too bad."  
  
"Psh," I blushed, leaning my head back so I could look up at him. "I think you just didn't wanna miss Popuri's sweet seventeen!"  
  
"Well, no," he said, "that's just a bonus. It's really good to see you, Karen."  
  
"It's good to see you, too."  
  
He kissed my lips vibrantly. After an unknown amount of time, I pushed him away when his lips arced into a devious smile, flashing a mischievous grin myself. "You weirdo!" I shouted at him as he quickly wrote my name on a ballot card.  
  
He whirled around to face me. "You're the weirdo!"  
  
oOoOoOo  
  
A/N: Well, that was hard, but _undeniably_ fun! Now, _review_, you weirdos! 


	17. Another Birthday Party

Another Birthday Party

A note from the author: Hm, well. . .it's been a couple weeks. . .Sorry about that! Due to the looong time period in which y'all have received no updates, I'm going to attempt to write a chapter that will BLOW YOU OFF YOUR FEET! Key word being attempt. So if it's not as impressive as you had hoped/expected, DO NOT hesitate to mention so in your review (hint, hint!).

oOoOoOo

In the final hours before Popuri's party, nestled in the warmth of Kai's chest as the two of us rested peacefully on the beach, I found myself in constant thought of Jack. The questions he'd asked me before, about our failed attempt at friendship, repeated themselves in my head until I finally decided to lay out a mental plan.

The solution was simple, and subsequently to deciding upon it, I felt sensations of guilt wave through my veins. My decision was to behave around Jack as I had once behaved around Kai. I remembered the days before the time of Pappy's passing, the days before the break-up between Kai and Ann. I remembered the hours I had spent with Kai each day, working at the vineyard, relaxing at the bakery, hanging out at the bar, or lounging on the beach, almost like we were now. I remembered the days of sheer, pure friendship between us and missed them.

Snuggling under a multi-colored umbrella to shade us from the fire of the late-afternoon sun, I realized there was something about having a male friend that gave me a sort of peace, a kind of comfort that I did not find even in Ann. In the times of simple companionship with Kai, I'd felt a strong sense of security, of lovability, even of love itself. With a man as your friend, there is always a kind of unspoken love, where the best things that can possibly be uttered needn't even be said for their obviousness.

And now. . .Now that Kai and I were so romantically consumed in one another, I found myself lacking a solid male friendship.

It's not that Jack was my only option either. I could easily pursue Gray, since I already knew him so well, but my thoughts of him were not as fond as they used to be. There were other nice boys on the island. And quiet though they were, maybe even shy, they were not out of the question. Jeff and Harris seemed to me to be sweet, with good morales and class. They were handsome in a boy-next-door kind of way. And though Rick was considerably older, he was still tolerable. Irksome, annoying, but. . .tolerable.

After much thought and a lengthy argument with myself, all contained in the vast expanse of my mind, I came to the should-have-been-obvious conclusion that Jack was the right male friend to have. Decency, manners, respect for the opposite sex. . .not to mention his wit and humor, combined with a smile that weakened my knees. . .Jack proved to be an excellent choice.

I sighed contentedly. My head was lifted and lowered slowly with the rhythmic breaths of the sleeping Kai upon whom I was nuzzled comfortably. My right ear pressed against his chest, I could hear the beat of his heart in perfect harmony with the risings of his diaphram.

Closing my mouth and eyes, I inhaled the moist ocean air through my nostrils, thoroughly enjoying the heavenly scent. It was on days like these when I most wondered if the world actually, really had been created by some Supreme Being. #How else?# I asked myself. #How else can this island be so miraculously beautiful?#

But my thoughts and Kai's nap were abruptly interrupted by the growing volume of approaching laughter. As Kai jolted awake, I sat up and whirled around to see Ann and Cliff coming our way. "C'mon, lovebirds," Ann teased, "We'd better start getting ready for Popuri's party."

oOo

As Ann and I hustled down the stairs, the pounding of our feet brought the boys to attention. Cliff and Kai, who had been joined by the sullen-faced Gray since Ann and me had departed for my bedroom, stood from the couch and looked at each of us impatiently. "It's about time," Gray grunted, uttering the first of a series of negative comments to follow.

Ann scoffed. "Don't rain on the parade, Gray," she hissed at him, stepping over to slug him quite unjokingly. "We wanna have a good time tonight."

In my peripheral vision, I noticed Mother walking quietly, briskly into the living area wearing a new skirt and the uncommon pair of fancy shoes. "You coming with us, Mother?" I asked.

"Well, I'll go to the party, but not with you hooligans," she laughed musically. I smiled.

"Suit yourself," I answered, partly grateful that she wouldn't be accompanying us.

"Are we ready yet?" Gray mumbled.

It was my turn to slug him. "Knock it off," I commanded.

Kai and Cliff, who had remained silent until now, looked at each other and shrugged. "Let's go," Kai said, wrapping an arm around my waist. My cheeks were immediately hot, almost unbearably so. I felt more than slightly uncomfortable being subject to suggestive physical contact in the presence of my ever watchful mother. However, I pretended not to notice, as though it were the most natural thing in the world, covered my look of surprise with a carefree kind of expression, and led the way to the front door.

"It's about time," Gray repeated when we'd exited the house and stepped out into the mystical night air. The sun had just set, leaving behind a temporary pallet of color on the horizon, just below the edge of a navy blue blanket spotted with friendly cotton clouds, gray without the light, and speckled with the occasional constellation.

"The weather is beautiful," Cliff whispered quietly as the five of us stood outside for a brief moment.

"Yeah," Kai said, beginning the walk to the bakery, where the party would take place. "Which is good, 'cause they've set up tables and stuff in the garden to make room inside for the dance floor."

"Dance floor?" I chirped, my green eyes glittering with joy.

Ann giggled. "Nothing bring's a party to life like a dance floor with Karen on it," she teased cleverly.

"What can I say?" I countered, shrugging with a look of playfulness on my smiling face.

During the entire conversation that followed, Gray was rolling his eyes and trying to walk faster, his impatient disposition growing by the second. Finally he made a rude grunting noise and marched ahead, leaving us behind at our lazy pace. "You know why I think he's so anxious?" Ann said, her expression hinting that she was about to burst into giggles.

"He's nervous about Popuri," I explained laughingly. "He's gonna kiss her tonight, right?"

"So he claims," Ann answered. "If he just would've done it last year, they could be getting married right now."

An awkward silence grew between the four of us as we walked slowly up the sloping path. The mention of marriage had stirred up a sort of invisible tension between Kai and me. I noticed his jaw tighten quickly, but his gaze ahead did not falter. I knew what he was thinking about. I was thinking about it, too.

Did we love each other? Were we IN LOVE? Was marriage waiting somewhere in the future?

The air became thick with silence. Unspoken questions rattled in our minds, and each of us knew the others were pondering the possibilities, too. . .And still we were silent.

Finally Cliff spoke up as we approached the elegantly decorated bakery garden. "This looks like fun." The street lamps were lit, causing a look of further elegance to surround the lightly crowded area. A few of the village elders were gathered amongst the freshly trimmed hedges in boisterous chatter, no doubt concerning festival business. As Kai had mentioned, the furniture from inside the bakery had been moved out here. I noticed candles burning on each table, sending fragrant wisps of smoke into the light breeze.

And then I noticed Jack. Despite the warmth of a comfy pair of jeans, I felt goosebumps rise on my legs. A nimble chill made its sharp way up my spine, and I again felt heat from my rosy red cheeks when I looked at him. Wrapped in a fashionable brown suade jacket and sporting a pair of Levi's, he looked comfortable, but he certainly knew how to dress up for an event like this.

Listening to some old story from Anella and Hector, he let out a lighthearted laugh and said something back. He looked so comfortable in the crowd. . .almost as though he'd lived here forever. A spark of genuine interest lit his beautiful brown eyes as he listened contentedly to the elders' kooky old tales.

Cliff broke into a grin and began walking in Jack's direction, by which I wasn't surprised, but I panicked when Kai began to follow. I looked down at myself to make sure I looked alright. The belt's on straight, my tummy's covered, the necessary buttons on my soft lavendar top are fastened. . . "Jack's here! Does my hair look okay?" I blurted to Ann. OOPS.

"Karen!" she whispered harshly, eyes turning wide and round.

I made the oh-my-gosh-did-I-just-say-that-out-loud face and immediately said, "You never heard me say that!"

Ann gave me a look, and I gave her one back.

Silence.

"It looks fine," she finally said. ". . .How's mine?"

"Perfect." We exchanged grins, linked elbows, and made our way into the circle of people near the corner of the garden next to the door to the bakery, which was propped open to let in the cool air of a wonderful mid-Spring evening.

"Hello, ladies," Jack said kiddingly.

"Hey," Ann answered. I just smiled. I wanted to talk to him about. . .what I had decided that afternoon. "Ooh!" Ann squealed, "Whatcha got there, Jack?"

I then noticed he was sipping what looked like sparkling cider from a champagne glass. A little over the top, I mused with a laugh contained in my head. "Cider," he answered after taking another quick swallow. "It's pretty good. Not sure who made it."

I wanted to say, "Well, if it's really any good, it wasn't made by anybody here," but held my tongue.

"I think I'll go get me some," Kai said, motioning for me to come along.

I inhaled and said, "You go on, I'll be there in a second," which I'm sure made Ann all the more suspicious. She must have been thinking I was into Jack, or that I was cheating on Kai or something silly like that.

I was caught off guard when I looked up and noticed Cliff and Ann had gone with Kai and I was all by my onesies in front of the devilishly handsome Jack. "So, Jack," I began nervously. "How long have you been here?"

"Oh, I haven't even been inside yet. Just got here a few minutes ago. Elli brought me the cider."

I nodded and almost said something dumb like "Cool!" or "Awesome!" Instead I bit my lip and crossed my arms. "Listen. . .Jack. I feel really du - "

"Karen," he interrupted. "You don't have to say anything. I was wrong to guilt-trip you into being friends with me."

WHAT WAS HE DOING?! I did NOT understand this boy. He thought HE was wrong? WHY? I was the one being such a jerk!

"Why do you always do this?" I said, my thoughts bursting into words before I could harness them. When he flashed me a quizzical look, I continued. "Every time I mess up, you spin it around so you'll be the villain. Why?"

"I guess I just feel obligated."

I suddenly remembered that night at the beach a few weeks ago when Jack had found me dancing and quoted a passage from "the God book." ROMANS 1:14, I remembered. "Romans 1:14," I said distantly.

He broke into a grin. "I'm glad you remember that."

"But if I remember correctly," I continued, my voice lightening, "it said you were obligated not to take the blame but to 'reach out.'"

"You're right. I'm sorry for taking the blame."

I rolled my eyes and growled in frustration. "You are just so frustrating, Jack Tandley."

"Well, what do you want me to say? What do you want me to feel?"

"Well, you keep letting me roll you over! Stand up for yourself, you wuss! Cut all this 'I'm so sorry, Karen,' bull and tell me what you really feel."

"That is what I feel!"

"No!" I argued. "It's not. I can see it in your eyes." #In your deep, beautiful, brown eyes. . .#

Jack sighed.

"TELL ME!" I demanded.

"I'M NOT SORRY!" he hollered, throwing his arms in the air. Good thing we were the only ones left in the garden now. Even though the door was open, the music was blaring so loud that nobody inside could hear us. "And I really wish you'd just listen to what I have to say instead of making up excuses to get out of it! I want you to hear it for your own good, 'cause I love you!"

I had been happily listening to his outburst until I heard the L-Bomb. Recoiling in surprise, I raised my eyebrows at him until he explained.

He lowered his arms to his sides and tried desperately to catch his breath. "In a very, very platonic way!"

"Aw, Jack!" I cried, jumping into his arms with a grin that could light up a dungeon. "I love you in a very, very platonic way, too!"

He laughed warmly and returned my embrace whole-heartedly. "Good. So I guess you could classify us as real good friends, eh?"

"I think so," I answered, not pulling away for a full minute. "You give real good hugs, Jack."

"So do you," Jack answered, fingering my hair and leaning his head against my own.

We rocked back and forth for a few seconds before I playfully giggled, "And I'm comin' to y'all's Bible study tomorrow!" With that, I skipped into the bakery and left him standing outside hollering thanks at the sky.

Inside, I found an enormous crowd of people under dim lights. Many of the villagers were having a blast on the sparkling hardwood dance floor to a relatively new popular song blaring from borrowed speakers. White crete paper hung from the ceiling and walls. Duke was busy behind the bar fixing cider after cider, soda after soda. Apparently he was being paid to work here instead of the bar tonight.

"There you are!" Kai said, pushing through the mass of people, a great few of whom were going outside to escape the loud music and claustrophobia. "Where have you been?"

I wasn't afraid or ashamed to tell him the truth. "Just having a little heart to heart with Jack."

Kai smiled warmly. "I didn't tell you how pretty you look tonight. I was going to at your house, but then Gray started - "

"Gray!" I shrieked. "Wonder how he's doin'!"

"Oh," Kai laughed, "don't worry. We've been monitoring him all night. He hasn't made a move yet. Me, Ann, and Cliff think he's aiming to ask her to dance when a good slow song comes on."

I giggled and began jumping up and down when I realized that a really dancey techno song was playing. "C'mon!" I yelled to him over the music. "Let's dance!"

Kai and I were excellent dancers, even to such noisy music as this. At several points during the song, we were in the center of the dance floor, having a great time showing off. Finally, when the song ended and a really stupid one came on, we left the dance floor and I ventured off to find Popuri. But I was too slow, and the stupid song was abruptly stopped so Popuri's father could tell everyone to gather round for cake and the happy birthday song.

oOo

"So you're going to Popuri's house now, right?" Kai asked me at the end of the party. It was approximately midnight, and the majority of the villagers had gone home. Only a few of us kids remained, along with Duke, Granny Ellen, and Popuri's parents.

"Well, I'll walk home with you," I said. "I need to grab my PJ's and stuff."

"See ya in a minute, Karen!" Elli and Ann said, walking across the path in the direction of Florist Lillia.

"See y'all!" I called back as Kai and I began the quick walk home. When we reached the crossroads alone, he took my hand.

"Ooh," he said after a second. "Your fingers are cold."

"Yours are warm," I replied, smiling bashfully.

"Do you like when I touch you, Karen?" he asked. I was a little caught off guard, so he gave me extra time to think by saying, "When I hold your hand or wrap my arm around you?"

"I love it," I said truthfully. We were already approaching the house. I knew Mother and Dad were already inside and getting ready for bed.

"I love it, too," he said, "but I just don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"Well, it's just a little weird in front of my mother," I confessed as he opened and held the door for me. I was already standing by the stairs, and he was closing the door slowly. I could tell by his body language that he wanted me to invite him upstairs.

Not for the reasons you are thinking of, though.

"You wanna. . ." I began, "help me pack some stuff?"

"Sure," he answered, letting out a breath of relief. He followed me up the steps and into my bedroom. "It's been a while since I've been up here."

"I know," I said in reply. There was a brief silence in which I was retrieving my small gym bag from the bathroom closet and Kai was looking at a few pictures I had hanging on the wall next to the door.

When I started rummaging around in my chest of drawers, Kai inquired, "What can I do?"

"You can bring me my toothbrush and hairbrush from the drawer in the bathroom counter. And my straightening iron should be somewhere on top of the counter, too."

He obediently retrieved them and put them in the bag, which I had placed on top of the cabinet next to the door. I was standing in front of my bureau, next to my bed, and while walking back in my direction, Kai playfully pretended to trip and fall on me, causing us both to collapse onto my bed. Of course, I ended up beneath him, laughing and squirming, acting like I was trying to escape his enticing kisses. In truth, I was enjoying the heat of his body lying atop mine.

His playful kisses started on my cheeks and ears but eventually made their way down to my neck. At this point, everything suddenly became serious. We stopped smiling. I knew he wouldn't dare to try anything, not after the conversation we'd had the other night. But I still felt as though. . .

As though this kind of thing was just like having sex. And I'm not saying I wasn't enjoying it. It was a kind of sign. The way that Kai kissed me confirmed that he adored me. And the way that I did not resist confirmed that I adored him.

But when his hands began to wander, I began to panic. His open hand slid from my shoulder to my neck, and I had a good idea where its next destination would be.

I realized my feet were dangling from the bed and slid down a little until they touched the ground. Kai was surprised when I stood, pushing both of us up onto our feet. "Don't do that," I said.

"But you just got done telling me that you like it whe - "

"Well, I didn't realize we were talking about my breasts!"

We both stood still for a minute, our chests heaving as we caught up with our breath. "I'm sorry, Kai, but I just. . .I'm not ready for any of that yet."

"No, I'm sorry," he said. "I'm not either."

I arched my eyebrows, confused.

He saw the inquiry in my eyes and explained, "I just gave in to temptation. Karen, you don't even know how beautiful you are. You don't even know how much I. . .I THIRST for you. Every time I kiss you, it's just so. . .perfectly passionate that I - "

"I know, Kai," I murmured, my voice barely above the volume of a whisper. "I know. I know 'cause I feel the same way. But think about it this way. Think of how the longer we wait, the more amazing it will be when we're both truly ready for that kind of passion. Lust isn't enough, Kai."

He nodded, looking sullenly at the floor.

"Look at me, Kai," I said, stepping close to him. "I like you. . .a lot. A whole lot. That's why I'm with you. But we need to cover some ground, put some land behind us if we're ever gonna find ourselves in true, deep, HONEST love." I touched his face with my fingertips and gently kissed his lips. The purest kiss we had yet shared was the kiss that lasted mere seconds.

He wrapped me in his arms and cradled my head similarly to the way Jack had earlier that evening.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kai."

oOoOoOo

A note from the author: Well! Another lusty chapter. It didn't quite blow ME away, so I really understand if you were not remotely impressed. Like I said: feel FREE to tell me I need to get my act together if I do. It's extremely hard for me to judge my own writing because I'm either biast or too hard on myself. Let's get a few solid, constructive reviews please!


	18. The Flower Festival

The Flower Festival

_A note from the author: Well, here goes a another chapter. Also, a brief round of shout-outs: Fairy Friend, Raine Ishida, and Karen10, don't freak out about the Kai plot. The story's not near over. But I'm glad you're getting into the story. Thanks! LCDM, no, definitely not romance novel material. It was supposed to be awkward, uncomfortable, and just flat out weird. Thank you for the review! Jinu, it's so awesome to see such an incredible author reviewing MY story! Thanks! So, Red Sonic, how's the novel coming? Almost done? Can't wait for Chapter 20 of HMVC! And I do have an e-mail. . .I just don't post it on websites. I don't like people I don't know having my personal contact info. Y'know? But whenever somebody reviews, I get it in my e-mail. Same thing! Anyways, thanks for the review. Tails13113, thanks very much for your review! You're funny._

_I think this chapter will be much better. It won't be quite so kissy-touchy._

_Here goes._

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Mmm," Elli hummed, pushing a spoonful of chocolate ice cream into her mouth hesitantly. "I shouldn't be eating this."

"Oh, stop it, Elli," Popuri said, rolling her eyes, stepping into the bedroom wielding her own bowl of sugary sweetness. She plopped down into a plump white bean bag on the floor and licked a lump of ice cream off her spoon savoringly.

I smiled and shut the door behind Popuri before pulling off my blue jeans and reaching into my bag for the pair of flannel PJ bottoms I had packed. "Guess nobody bothered to fix me any ice cream," I said, unhurriedly discarding my top and tossing it into my bag, trading it for an adequately sized tee shirt with faded blue three quarter sleeves.

"Actually," Elli said, sliding into a seated position on the carpet with her back leaning against Popuri's bed, "Ann's in the kitchen right now. You can holler for her to get you some. There's strawberry and chocolate."

"Ann," I called softly through Popuri's bedroom door, which I had cracked open. "Ann!"

"What?" she called back.

"Get me some ice cream! Chocolate!"

I heard her growl in unwillingness. "Fine," she said finally. I heard the sound of the freezer door being opened, and, satisfied, I closed the door again and ran to belly-flop onto Popuri's bed. Maria looked up from a two-seasons-old magazine to giggle at my stupid behavior. Sitting Indian-style on the cushy sofa with her black hair in two long braids, she looked to me like Tiger Lily from Peter Pan.

"Do y'all like the stuff in this magazine?" she said, expressing her unsatisfaction with it by using a rarely seen frown. Tossing the old _Teen Vogue_ onto the bed for me to leaf through, Maria leaned back into the cushions of the couch. "The girls look like hookers and the guys look like they just rolled out of bed."

Popuri laughed. "My second cousin from the United States sent me that. I just got it last week, but she bought it last summer. I guess she thinks I can't read the fine print under the big title."

"I didn't know you had relatives in America," I said, opening up to the first page, where a half-naked girl in a large hat was advertising some fancy perfume. "You know, Cliff is from there. He was born in Arizona, but came here from New Mexico."

"Golly, how many states are there in America?" Elli said with the naivete of a child.

Maria started to tell her, but instead held her tongue. So Popuri answered her, "Like fifty, right? I don't know, it's forty-eight or something."

"No, I think it's fifty," I said.

"You're right," Maria added finally. "It's fifty. I know 'cause there's a map of it hanging in the library, and there's two extras that aren't attached. Alaska and Hawaii."

The door opened, and Ann stepped in with an ice cream bowl in each hand. She handed me one of them before plopping down next to Maria on the couch.

"Ooh, my daddy's been to Hawaii!" Popuri exclaimed, excited to contribute to the conversation. "He says it's like heaven on Earth. Tropical paradise."

"I didn't know Hawaii was part of America," I confessed, indulging in my ice cream wholeheartedly. "I thought it was its own little island like Jamaica or Cuba or something."

"Why are we talking about boring stuff?" Ann cut in.

"I know, really," Elli added. "I still don't know who's going with who to the Flower Festival tomorrow."

Everybody looked at each other. "Come on," I urged them. "It's already obvious who I'm going with. Ann, Cliff asked you, right?"

"What, why do I have to go first?" Ann whined.

"Oh, come on!" Popuri giggled. "Pinky promise: we'll all tell you if you tell us first."

All five of us leaned in to grab Ann's pinky finger in our own. "Fine," she surrendered. "Yes, I'm going with Cliff."

A series of "Oooooh!"s and "Woooooooo!"s erupted, followed by a burst of giggles. "When did he ask you?" Popuri inquired curiously, scooting her bean bag closer, so that it was next to Elli and in front of me.

"This afternoon at the Ranch," she gushed, a bright grin blooming on her freckled face.

"What?" I said. "I can't believe you didn't tell me!"

"I know!" Elli added. "What did he say, exactly?"

"Well, he came by to pick up some chicken feed for Jack. Me 'nd Gray were the only two there, 'cause Dad was running errands on the mainland earlier today, so Cliff had to come looking for me in the field. Luckily, I was alone, except for the cattle, so he asked for the chicken feed and then we got to talking. He started asking me questions about the Flower Festival, like 'Are people supposed to have a date?' and then finally, 'Do you have a date?' When I said no, he was like, 'Good, 'cause you're the only one I'd ask.'"

"Awwwww!" the four of us drawled through our mouthfuls of ice cream. "That's so sweet!" Popuri cooed dreamily.

"Cliff told ME that Gray almost beat him up," I said, "and that you gave him a bloody lip. Did you tweak the story a bit, Annie?"

Ann burst into laughter. "Well, that was afterwards! It's a really stupid story. After a little while, Cliff said he should be getting back and started running off with the chicken feed he had bought, just when Gray was coming out of the barn."

"Gray thought he was stealing the chicken feed?" I laughed loudly.

Nodding rapidly with a reddened face, Ann fanned her head, "Ooh, brainfreeze!"

We laughed. "Your turn, Maria," giggled Elli, her voice fused with traces of excitedness.

"Well, I'm going with Harris, but just as friends!" Maria answered quickly, and so quietly that we almost couldn't hear her.

"Whatever!" declared Elli and I in unison.

"We know y'all are into each other," Ann said, but not in a mocking way. "Don't be ashamed to say it."

"But we're not!" Maria pleaded, despite her uncontainable smile and visibly blushing cheeks. "We're not!"

"Oh, Maria. . ." we all laughed.

"Now, Popuri!" I squealed.

"Yeah," Ann burst, "Gray's been goin' on all week about how he was gonna kiss y-"

The hostess's smile grew larger with each word we uttered, until she realized exactly what Ann was about to say. "He was gonna _what_?" She immediately erupted into waves of laughter.

"He didn't kiss you?" I said in disbelief. "Now that Gray!"

Popuri shook her pink-faced head. "He didn't kiss me, but he did ask me to the festival."

"Wooo!" the other four of us cheered obnoxiously. "Y'all make a cute couple," and, "You two would be great together," were the most popular comments during the next few minutes.

"So, Elli!" grinned Ann.

"I knew Jack would be the one to ask you!" I said to her with a smile.

"Jack?" she said, her expression becoming one of inquiry.

"Yeah, he's the only guy left, right?"

Elli laughed a little and said, "No, I'm not going with Jack, I'm going with Jeff!"

"_JEFF?_" we asked, dumfounded.

"But it was so obvious Jack was into you!" I said, disappointed that Jack hadn't asked her. I forgot about the jealous me and was instantly indwelt by the selfless me.

"I knooow!" Popuri whined in a high-pitched voice, adjusting her position on the bean bag. "Why didn't you tell me that you and Jeff had a thing?"

"Well, 'cause we don't have a thing," Elli replied, scooping another spoonful of chocolate ice cream into her mouth.

"I believe that," Ann said honestly.

"Yeah, Jeff's not good-looking enough," commented Popuri.

"Not for Elli, anyway," I added. "Now, _Jack_ on the other hand. . ."

"Now, he's good-looking enough for all of us," Maria chimed laughingly. "And it did seem as though you and Jack were. . ."

"What?" Elli couldn't help but ask.

"Oh, come on, Elli," Ann reasoned, "you can't tell us that you don't have a thing for him."

"I don't!"

"Yes, you do!" Popuri told her.

"We all do!" said Ann, "Karen, even."

I playfully scowled at her, and when Elli looked at me, I half-jokingly stated, "It's true."

"So I do!" Elli cried. "But he didn't ask me, so I can't go with him. And Jeff isn't bad."

"Well, he's not bad, but he's no Jack," I said.

"Don't worry, Elli," Maria said, licking her spoon clean, "It's only his first big 'date festival.' He just didn't know what to do."

"That's what it is," Ann declared with a that's-the-end-of-it nod as she sat back and folded her legs to her bosom. "He just didn't know what to do."

"Cliff's been to one of these before," I reasoned, "he'll show Jack the ropes."

"Ooh, is anyone else like, overly excited about the festival this year?" Popuri squealed joyously.

"Oh, I think all of us are," said Ann.

"It's late," Elli said, standing up. "I'll take the ice cream bowls to the kitchen, and then we should probably turn in."

"Good idea," we all chimed.

"Three can fit on the bed, and two on the fouton," Popuri said with a yawn, handing her bowl to Elli. "If we spoon."

We giggled as Ann and Maria unfolded the fouton and Popuri and I crawled under the covers of the bed, soon to be joined by Elli.

oOoOoOoOoOo

It had been a warm, peaceful sleep, but six hours was hardly enough. Lillia entered the bedroom at six in the morning and woke us up gently. "Time to head to the square," she murmured to us as we reluctantly sat up in bed and yawned.

One of the funnest parts about contesting for the Flower Festival was the short journey to the town square with your four best friends in only your thin flannel pajamas. After hurriedly brushing our teeth in Popuri's bathroom, we met our mothers in the main room of the house. "Hey," I said to Mother with a sleepy yawn. "Is it warm out?"

"It's cool," she answered with a smile. "The television told me last night that today's high will probably be eighty."

"Ooh," I smiled. "That's great. So it won't be hot like it was yesterday." I noticed that my gown was draped over her folded left arm. It was simply divine. . .I couldn't WAIT to put it on.

Outside, the old cobblestone pathway was chill on our bare feet as we tip-toed amusingly through the village. Make-upless, wardrobeless, shoeless, and frownless, we got a thrilling, chilling adrenaline rush skipping nimbly past the perfectly aligned buildings. Following us with goddess gowns in tow, our mothers giggled at our girlish fun. We could hear them saying things like, "Brings back old memories," and, "What I wouldn't give to be her age again."

We climbed the stairs in a single file line and upon reaching the peak began to do cartwheels in the open town square that had yet to be decorated. The festival committee would show up while we were getting ready in the back room and start beautifying the clean, but bland-looking square.

Giggling and laughing hysterically, the five of us young girls tumbled rather clumsily about the arena. Lillia told us to come into the back room so we could start the two hour process of preparation. We nodded our red-faced heads as the mothers filed into the spacious back room with all our stuff.

Ann, Maria, and I started to follow them but stopped to wait on Popuri and Elli who were obviously discussing something mischievous. The only thing I heard of their conversation was Popuri saying, "Come on, let's do it, it'll feel good!" and then Elli replying with, "We should."

Next thing we knew the two of them had stripped down to bras and undies and were doing the jitterbug in the middle of the square. It was all the other three of us could do to follow suit with our eruptions of absolutely uncontrollable laughter. Before we knew it, we were all cartwheeling again, a dangerous thing to do when you can't stop laughing.

And the cheer only spread when the mothers peeked out to see what was taking us so long. They began to giggle and grin, and finally called us in to start getting ready.

oOoOoOoOoOo

It was nine o'clock now. The five of us, fully beautified, pressed our ears against the door to the square to hear the excitement. Villagers had begun to arrive. We had yet to hear the results of the poll.

We were shivering with anticipation, our nerves jumping with every foreign sound or sight. "My eyelashes are sticking together," complained Maria, straightening her posture by pulling herself away from the door. "I've never worn so much mascara."

"Mine are, too," agreed Elli, also standing upright.

The other three of us joined them and formed a kind of circle, beginning to converse in a quick, rapid manner in our undeniable nervousness. "We've still got another hour to wait," said Popuri, her hands wringing furiously at her chest.

"My dress is really tight," Elli said, clutching her stomach with both hands. "I knew I'd put on some weight."

"Stop it, Elli!" Popuri said, elbowing her. "You look beautiful."

Beautiful she was. Elli's dress, snug though it was, shone a soft, soothing sky blue. The smooth satin fabric wrapped around her upper body flatteringly, secured with thin straps. The gown was loose around the legs, giving her room to dance, but still looked as though it had been stitched while wrapped around her. It fit her beautifully. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled away from her fair, dainty face but left down in the back to curl out behind her neck. Her makeup, like the rest of ours, was overly glittery, with soft blue eyeshadow that corresponded with her gown and accented her tremendously pretty eyes.

"We all do," I said. "All of us deserve to be goddess."

Ann spoke up, her voice velvety and soft as her fair, freckled, unblemished face. "I think we look much prettier this year." Her statement was certainly true of herself. Her grapefruit orange hair was pulled neatly back into four creative buns that crowded together to resemble a bouquet of beautiful roses. She held up the many skirts of her pale yellow dress in clenched fists. The gown was wonderful and flattered her thin figure flawlessly. Long earrings dangled on either side of her justly emphasized face. Blue eyes glittering with joy, she grinned with pearly white teeth and said, "I've never seen Maria look prettier."

The four of us turned to Maria and nodded in wholehearted agreement. Red was most definitely Maria's color, and the way she wore the traditional rose-colored gown brought moisture to my eyes. Her long black hair was left loose, and had been curled lightly. Her dark, dark eyes had never been better accented with the right amounts of mascara and eyeliner. She looked perfect.

"Harris will be blown away," Popuri teased. She wore a fitting pink princess dress with colonial bell-shaped bottom, corset, petticoats, the whole shabang. Her pink curls were done up in a half-up, half-down fashion, which fitted her look wonderfully. It looked almost like she should have been wearing a tiara (teara? tiera?).

"So will Gray," I told her cleverly.

"So will Kai," said Ann with a wink and a smile as our circle began closing in until there was no air between us.

"So will Cliff," Maria added slowly.

"And so will Jack." I looked at Elli with a smile.

"You mean Jeff," murmured Popuri laughingly.

"No," I said. "I mean Jack."

Elli looked at me with a smile and tears of glee in her eyes. "If you guys make me cry," she said, rousing small giggles amonst us, "Lillia will have to do my make-up all over again."

I felt moisture in my own eyes and glanced around to see the same in everyone else. "We can't cry!" Ann said with a chuckle.

"No, we can't," Maria sniffled. "We can make it!"

"We're missing the party," I said, detaching myself so I could lean back against the door. The other girls followed my lead with a few snickers of laughter.

The only things we could hear were soft, cheery music and the roar of the crowd. Specific words could not be deciphered in the hulabaloo of noises. We heard raised voices, though, and knew there were people out there selling things like seeds, kitchenware, farming equipment, and souvenirs.

An hour later, it was ten twenty. We had long since parted from the door and taken seats around a small table in the center of the dimly lit room. Maria read a book to pass the time and Elli and Popuri played cards while Ann and I watched boredly. Finally, we heard the door open and shut quickly, causing our heads to turn up instantly.

It was Lillia, and in her hand she held an intimidating manilla envelope.

We gasped in unison and lept from our chairs to crowd around her in nervous excitement. "Are those the results?" Popuri shrieked, trying desperately to keep her hands away from her face for fear of ruining her makeup.

"Yes," Lillia answered, her tone of voice implying that she was trying to keep us calm.

"Oh, my goddess," Ann breathed airily. "I think I'm about to puke."

I grabbed her arm with both hands. "You won't puke. Think about your dad and how he's gonna cry when he sees how pretty you look."

She let out a tiny laugh of a breath.

"Besides, you'll mess up your dress," I told her firmly.

Lillia smiled assuringly. "Ladies, just keep calm. I think we'll all be happy no matter who wins. It's only a matter of confidence."

"Confidence, confidence, confidence," Maria repeated to herself in a whisper.

Elli turned to embrace the girl consolingly. "Confidence," she said. "You've got it, girl."

"Mama, just please tell us," Popuri said, her voice high-pitched and whiny.

"Ready?" Lilla said, beginning to gently tear the envelope. "The winner is. . ."

"Mama!" Popuri commanded.

Lillia laughed lightly and whispered softly, "KAREN!"

"_AAAAAAHHHHH!_" The room was instantly filled with the squeals of five excited young girls and a happy middle-aged florist. I could hardly believe it!

"Oh, my gosh!" I kept repeating. "I've never won this before! Oh, my gosh!"

Ann jumped into my arms as Lillia attached a crown of flowers into my up-done hair.

Everybody was jumping up and down excitedly. "Okay, girls, okay!" Lillia said, hushing us, after she had successfully placed the crown on my head. "Hush, hush!" She began handing baskets of flower petals to the other girls and pulling them into positions. Ann and Elli in front, Popuri and Maria in back. I was to come in last and stand in the center of the little square that they would make outside. Lillia handed me a gorgeous bouquet of spring flowers and patted my shoulder assuringly. "I'll go tell Mayor Thomas to announce y'all's entry. Basil and I will open the door, and you girls just walk right out. Okay? Okay, here I go." She opened the door just wide enough so she could fit through and slammed it quickly shut.

"Still trying not to cry," said Ann, frozen in nervousness.

"Me, too," the four of us laughed.

We heard the crackle of a microphone outside and realized that the door would be flying open in mere seconds. And suddenly, it did. We'd all been expecting it and yet we were all surprised. Sunlight poured majestically into the room and blinded us temporarily. Ann and Elli began walking forward, followed shortly after by Popuri and Maria.

It was my turn!

As soon as I entered the square, I was showered by a thick downpour of confetti and pink and white balloons. I looked around at everybody staring at me and smiled uncontrollably. I saw Jack and Cliff standing side by side not too far away whistling and whooping happily.

Next thing I knew I was wrapped in Kai's arms and being lifted into the air for a second and a half. "I knew you'd win, beautiful," he whispered in my ear. "You look like a goddess. You are a goddess." He grinned widely and pressed his upturned lips against mine quickly.

I kissed him in return and felt on top of the world. Suddenly music was playing and Mayor Thomas was yelling for everyone to get in position for the first dance. It was Flowerbud's traditional jig kind of dance, which required much skipping and hopping and twirling. My very favorite!

Every three eight counts, partners were switched, then after another three, switched back, then after another three, switched to the opposite side, then finally switched back to your original partner. On the first swap I found myself dancing with my own cousin, who was still learning the dance and moved awkwardly and funnily. After dancing with Kai again, I was partnered with Jack, who knew the jig pretty dern well!

The dancing continued all day, alternating between contemporary songs and Flowerbud's customary jigs and waltzes. Tables were scattered about so people could sit down to eat a lunch of sandwiches, fried chicken, or baked potatoes with sides like beans, rice, corn, and other veggies. Beer, wine, juice, milk, and cider were being sold from different venders, but the alcoholic beverages did not go as quickly as expected. In fact, at the end of the day, there was much extra left over.

The only two boys I danced with were Kai and Jack of course, other than the two songs I spent giving Cliff the how-to. The boy was completely awestruck by Ann's stunning appearance and visible radiance, and he danced only with me and her.

At seven o'clock, the Mayor began shooing everyone away so the committee could begin the clean-up procedure. I was lost in the crowd, but Kai quickly found me and took me by the hand. "I'm goin' to a little get-together at Jack's place," I told him.

He looked at me for a moment and then replied, "Okay."

I smiled. "Do you wanna come?"

"Well, what's gonna happen there?" he asked as we began walking away from the square. The sun had set; the night was warm. I felt overheated and damp from the sweat that had been produced by excessive dancing. I clutched the skirts of my dress in hopes of giving my legs some air.

"I'm not really sure," I said, half-honestly. "Cliff and Jack invited me to go. It'll probably be kind of boring. Like a meeting or something."

Kai gave me a look. "Are you telling me a story?"

We had reached the bottom of the stairs and were now walking on the pathway. There were other villagers around us, making their own way home. "No!" I answered, pretending to be offended. I knew he could see through the front, though. "Kai, you can come if you want. Really."

"Naw," he replied, shaking his head a little. "Got some work to do in the cellar. Labeling and junk. Your father says the racks need to be reorganized."

I felt sorry for Kai. His wages had been reduced to the measly priveledge of room and board with the occasional bonus of a few hundred Gold. He had been working a lot lately. Then again, so had everybody at my house. "Okay. Well, I still gotta go home and change out of this gown."

We walked in silence through the crossroads until we passed Cliff, who I informed of my stop at the house to change. He had nodded and smiled, winking as he noticed our entwined hands.

When we reached the vineyard, it was time to go our separate ways, me into the house, Kai into the cellar. But instead, he grabbed my other hand and looked me in the eyes with a sweeter-than-sugar look on his face. "Karen, you were absolutely gorgeous today," he said in a soft voice. "I knew you would win. You deserved it."

"Thanks, Kai," I said, finding it difficult to tear my eyes away from his.

I was about to just squeeze his hands and say goodnight when he suddenly pulled me close to him, cupped his hand around my face, and kissed me. He kissed me hard and long and in a way he had never kissed me before. Eagerly returning his passionate, vigorous gesture of adoration and desire, I felt connected to him. It was as though we were the only two people in the whole world. I forgot where we were, what time it was, and who might see us. I never, ever wanted to pull away, ever. I could have stood there all night and all day, never caring about anything else. Only us.

It was he who pulled away. The sky was darker than it had been when we began, but it felt as though we had only been kissing for a second. Where had the time gone? I tried to kiss him again, but his fingers separated his lips from mine. "I can't," he told me. "Or we would never stop."

"I don't care," I told him, my voice barely even a whisper, carried to his ears only by the breeze.

"Remember," he whispered, his tone sensual. "We need to put some turf behind us. We're not ready yet."

I nodded my head, and our face were so close together that my nose brushed against his. It was all I could do to say goodnight and walk away.

And when I had shut the front door behind me, I realized I was addicted to Kai.

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_A/N: Well, I didn't **think** it was gonna be so kissy-touchy! But in the end, I just felt like they needed to kiss again. I was afraid y'all might still be thinkin' they were kinda distant because of the night before. And kissing scenes are just so fun to write, and I don't know 'bout y'all but I love to read 'em. I hope y'all are happy, 'cause I spent all afternoon on this. It's long. It should last y'all a good while. Please review! **PLEASE!** Oh, and I know y'all were excited about the Bible study thing, but that's gonna be next chapter. I needed to separate them; I'm sorry!_


	19. The Bible Study

The Bible Study

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews! Also, be sure to check out my new HM fic, Love and Loss. It's based on Friends of Mineral Town. I'm looking to make it a romantic tragedy, but things may end up happier than I had originally planned._

_Anyways, it won't JUST be the Bible study in this chapter, those of you who were upset about the separation. I just wanted to get a nice update in last time, and wanted the Bible study to be in depth and steady as opposed to pointless and hurried. Know what I'm saying?_

_Oooh, and those of you who have been complaining about the "preachiness" of this story are REALLY not gonna like this chapter! But those of you who wish to learn a small something about what I believe in will definitely learn something._

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My heart was still beating fast as I rapped my knuckles against Jack's recently painted door. It was brown now, contrary to the shabby red color that had once frowned at farm-visitors. I noticed a new doorknob, too, one not to be twisted, but with a little lever that you're supposed to push down. It looked pretty fancy. I wondered what Jack had changed on the inside of the house.

When the door finally opened, Jack stood in the entrance with a welcoming smile on his face. "Hey," he greeted me, motioning for me to come inside.

"Hey," I said, stepping in. "Sorry I'm a little late. I had to change." Obviously, I left out the minutes Kai and me had spent together.

Indeed the inside of the house had been changed. The walls that had once been covered by carefully placed planks of wood were now hidden behind decorative wallpaper. I also noticed that the flaky wooden floor that had once been beneath my feet had been stripped away, leaving a nasty layer of concrete behind. Jack began talking to me, "It's okay, there's still some people who aren't here yet."

I looked around at those who were here. Elli and Jeff were seated on the sofa, which had been turned around so that its back faced the television. The three of us exchanged smiles until I noticed that Popuri and her father were here! Strange, I mused. Lillia, who was likely still cleaning up at the square, was one of the most religious villagers of them all.

Of course, I wasn't surprised to see Cliff emerge from the recently added bathroom. "Look who's here!" he said to me with a playful smile. The look in his eye told me of his happiness at my arrival. He sat down on the floor in front of the couch and struck up a conversation with Elli and Jeff. Chatter began to develop amonst the few who were present.

"Jack," I said hesitantly, "the house looks...nice!" My eyes continued to drift around the room. There was a new chest of drawers on the left wall, next to a sizable potted plant that hadn't been there before. But the item that most attracted my attention was a pretty acoustic guitar, which had been gently set on a stand in between the television and the right-side wall. I'd seen an instrument like this on television before, and I knew Maria owned one. But hers was old, old, old and sounded like dry beans in a tin can when she played it, which was not often. This guitar looked to be of considerably high quality. It was very pretty. I wondered if Jack played.

"Thanks," he replied. His eyes could not hide his apparent joy and pride in what he'd done with the place. "The floor's not done yet, obviously. I'm waiting for the carpet to come in so the mountain carpenter's crew can help me lay it."

I lowered my voice and stepped closer to him. "Where'd you get the money for all this?" I asked, confused. "I _know_ Pappy never had the funds to do anything like it."

"My dad sent me some money," Jack explained to me. "The money Pappy left him in his will. Dad's already got enough, so he just gave it to me to help out. And I needed it."

"It was enough to buy that guitar?" I asked. I didn't really know the common price for such an item, but this one looked particularly expensive. "It looks kinda pricey, Jack!"

"Oh, I already had that. Dad sent it over here with the money, figurin' I might want it. Which I do. Sure is pretty, isn't it?"

I smiled because I couldn't help it. Jack's grin was just contagious. "You play?"

"Since eighth grade," he answered with another smile.

"Well, you learn somethin' new every day," I said, letting him know I thought it was cool.

Everyone looked up when the door creaked open and Harris walked in. "Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay, Harris," Jack assured him. "Maria with you?"

Harris looked down. "I'm afraid not. Her parents said she couldn't come."

Jack and Cliff looked at each other with sorrow in their gaze. "Something to pray about." Cliff's voice was sad and low.

"Sure is," Jack said, his tone equally glum. "Guess we'd better get started."

"Everybody go ahead and take a seat," Cliff instructed kindly. I sat down in a wooden chair facing Elli, with Jack and Harris on either side of me. Cliff plopped down in between Jeff and Elli, his expression growing to be one of playfulness and joy. "I'll open with prayer," he said. I listened to what he said, with only an idea of Who he was praying to. "Heavenly Father," he began, his voice surprisingly casual. Not solemn, not serious, not even scared. Though I detected respect in his bowed head and reverence in his closed eyes, it seemed as though Cliff was just talking to his uncle or to a real close friend. "We thank You for this series of opportunities You continue to give to me and Jack. We thank You for our safety today and for the fun we shared at the festival. Lord, please use Jack and me as instruments, as tools; help us to disregard ourselves and only speak things of You. We love You and praise You, God, and ask that right now You open the hearts of those who are here tonight." Then after a brief pause, he concluded, "It's in the name of Your Son Jesus that I pray this. Amen."

"Amen," Jack added. He began handing out their Books. Some had different labels on them, some were plain black or maroon, and some were colorfully decorated. The one I received was one of color, with a bouncy font on the cover that read:

_NIV_

_Teen Devotional Bible_

_Devotions for Teens_

_Written by Teens_

On the back, it advertised the devotions a little more and then explained that the devotions were only there to help teens and young adults understand the "truth of God's Word" and to give additional information about the "inspired authors of the Bible."

Jack got my attention with a soft, "Psst!"

I looked up from the Book and into his face.

"That's a really good Bible," he told me. "Same truth, but with some really helpful devotionals and stuff. I want you to keep it."

"Thanks," I said, turning it over in my hands. I already had a Bible at my house, except I remembered that on the spine it had different letters besides "NIV."

"I think it'll help you understand it more than you would with the King James Version that Pappy gave you," Jack explained. "The words in this one are smaller and simpler so you spend less time trying to figure out what it's saying and more time learning the truth that's written."

"Oh." I looked at it again, this time opening it up to examine the small print on the tissue paper pages. I saw what must've been one of the devotions, typed in a different font and separated by a decorative green box.

"Okay," Cliff started. "We're gonna begin by looking in the book of John. If you look in the table of contents in your Bible, it'll tell what page you can find it on." He gave us time to find it.

I read the first passage of the section to myself, silently. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning."

**_WHAT?_**

I thought this was supposed to be easy to understand!

"I realize," Cliff said, reading my obviously confused expression, "that the first couple of verses are really, really confusing and don't make much sense at all to you. But since all of y'all are new to the Bible, we're going to just look at the easy, more. . .what's the word. . .VITAL things, I guess you would say. Now don't get me wrong. Every single thing printed in this Book is vital, but there's also a passage in here that says that just like babies start by eating soft foods and then later progress to meat and stuff, newbies to the Bible start with the easy things and then move on to the more intense passages. Are we good so far?"

We nodded.

"So before we look at this portion of the Bible, I'm going to give you a little background. We're going to start looking at a man named Jesus. Jesus was the Son of God. There's more to that, and we'll come back to it, but for now, I'll just tell you this. God chose a woman to give physical birth to Him, that is Jesus. This woman, Mary, was a virgin, about to be wed, but God caused her to conceive. That's the miracle of it all. Mary understood that her baby would actually be God's baby. She understood that He would be the Son of God. God told her this."

"About to be wed?" Popuri said, her voice skeptical. "If she suddenly conceived, wouldn't her fiance kinda. . .see? Wouldn't he see and then think she was cheating on him?"

Clever thinking for somebody like Popuri.

"And that's part of the story." Cliff paused. "Actually, everybody turn back your pages until you get to a book before John, called Matthew." Cliff leafed through his own Bible. "There, look at Chapter 1, verse 18. 'This is how the birth of Jesus came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.' You can read for yourself after that. Basically, what happens is God's angel comes to Joseph in a dream and tells him to go ahead and wed Mary because it was God who caused her to conceive. Then in verse 22 it tells us that all of this happened to fulfill the prophecies in the Old Testament."

"There's a few things in here that you guys may not understand because you've never heard anything like this before," Jack said, looking up from his manuscript. "For one thing, the Holy Spirit."

"We know what spirits are, Jack," Basil said, his voice, though polite, hinting offence.

"Ah, but the Holy Spirit isn't just a spirit. The Holy Spirit is God's spirit. You guys all believe we have spirits, correct?"

We nodded.

"So do we, although the word more commonly used is 'soul,' as far as we go anyway. But God's spirit, the Holy Spirit, is a part of Him. There are three things that make up God. There's the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit. We call that the Trinity. That's just to clear it up a little. We'll get deeper into the Trinity as we get deeper into this Bible study. The second thing I thought you all might not understand is the reference to prophecies in the Old Testament.

"The Bible is split into two big sections: The Old Testament and, just guess what the other one is."

"The New Testament," we responded. The mood was a little bit lighter.

"The Old Testament tells about the things we need to know about before Jesus's birth. In it, there are prophecies, spoken through God's selected prophets, that let the people know what they were looking for in the Messiah."

"That's Jewish," Basil said, his eyes lighting up. "Wait! I've heard some of these things before in my travels. Jewish people nowadays are people who don't believe anything in the New Testament, correct?"

"As far as I know," shrugged Cliff. "I'm no scholar, but from what I have learned, the Jews believe Jesus to have been just another prophet. But let me tell you why that's not right - "

"Wait a minute," Jack said to Cliff. "Let's finish up with Old and New Testament business. So that's the Old Testament. The New Testament is made up of the things we need to know about what happened in and after the life of Jesus. The New Testament is what we're going to be studying until we gain understanding of it as a group. It contains the key to our salvation."

"We'll come back to the flaws in Jewish belief later," Cliff said. "We really need to get through the life of Jesus to fully understand that."

"Agreed," Jack nodded.

"Tonight, we won't go too deep into it." Cliff looked around, pausing, taking a breath. "Three of you have been in here with us before, plus one who could not be here with us tonight. Jeff, Elli, Harris, and. . .Maria. All of you have yet to make the decision."

The room was silent as a winter night. Suddenly Cliff was talking again. He began explaining things about the life of this man Jesus. He told of His childhood, how He had taught even the priests things of God that they had never known. After twenty minutes, Jack took over, telling us fascinating stories of miracles performed by Jesus, of the scorn of the Pharisees, of the way His own hometown came to despise Him. We heard about the choosing of disciples, of the parables Jesus told the people and then later explained to the Twelve. We were told how Jesus predicted His own death and resurrection and His betrayal by one of the disciples. It was like an epic drama story; I was kept constantly on the edge of my seat, wondering, "What will happen next? Oh, no, it's not Peter, is it? Peter won't be the one to betray Jesus, will he? The Pharisees! Why doesn't Jesus run away? He can escape them!" Cliff and Jack did a wonderful job telling the story, making us jump with every foul word spoken from the lips of the Pharisees, every dangerous situation encountered by Jesus and the Twelve.

All the time, we skipped around throughout what we learned to be the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

It was near midnight when Cliff directed us to Chapter 26 in the book of Matthew. The six of us shivered and shook as we read about the plot against Jesus, Judas's agreement with the cheif priest to betray Him, and the frightening words spoken at the Last Supper. Cliff read aloud as the rest of us read along, hearts pounding, hands shaking, breaths quivering, "'While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to His disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body."'"

"What?" Popuri gasped. "What? What's happening, Cliff? What's going on?"

"Just listen," Jack said, his voice dark. His tone of voice told us to just wait and see.

Cliff continued. "'Then He took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Drink from it, all of you. This is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins. I tell you, I will not drink of this fruit of the vine from now on until that day when I drink it anew with you in my Father's kingdom."'"

"Cliff!" Elli exclaimed, propping herself up on the sofa. By now, I'd slid to the floor after falling out of my chair twice and looked up at her, sharing her concern. "What's happening? Tell us what that means!"

Such questions and comments from everybody present had not been uncommon throughout the night. There were many complicated, confusing things that we did not understand, and Jack and Cliff would kindly take time to answer our many questions as well as they could. "The story is almost over," Jack said, his voice hushed. "You'll see, you'll see."

"Oh, no!" I cried, literal tears forming in my eyes. Throughout the story it was as though we had all formed a bond with the characters, and I had a sinking feeling in my tummy as though something very bad was about to happen. "It's Judas! Judas is about to betray Him, and Jesus knows! Jesus _knows_!"

"_NOO!_" Popuri and Elli wailed, tears gathering in their own eyes.

"Shhh!" Basil and Jeff hushed us. "We want to hear what happens, be quiet!" Basil pressed, his voice low.

Cliff read on, telling us how Jesus predicted Peter's denial of Him as they retreated to the Mount of Olives, Gethsemane. He told us that Jesus took three disciples up with Him to pray, telling the others to stay behind. "'Then,'" Cliff read, "'He said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with Me." Going a little farther, He fell down with His face to the ground and prayed...'"

Goosebumps pricked my bare legs, which I quickly tucked in to my chest. Something bad was about to occur...

"'"My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will."'"

We heard how He went back and found His disciples sleeping, and Popuri began to shout, "Why are they sleeping? Don't they know? Don't they know that they should be _praying_!"

"_SHHH!_"

"'He went away a second time and prayed...'"

As Cliff repeated the same prayer, a tear escaped my eye. I was scared.

Jeff showed signs of anger when we heard that Jesus found them all sleeping again and then again. Elli and I were in tears, and Popuri was on the verge of sobbing into her daddy's shoulder.

Soon, Cliff was reading about Judas coming with the priests and elders to betray Jesus. The six of us nearly jumped out of our skins when Peter cut off the ear of one of the servants. We were puzzled and amazed when Jesus healed it. We were frightened as we listened to Cliff tell of the questioning of Jesus before the Sanhedrin, upset about the false witnesses. We were angry as we heard about Peter's denial of Jesus, ashamed of him. We shivered hearing of Judas's thirty silver coins. We listened in fear as Cliff read about Jesus going before Pilate.

"They're letting the murderer out?" Popuri burst.

"But Jesus is innocent!" I wailed.

"'But they shouted all the louder,'" Cliff read, "'"Crucify Him!"'"

Just like that, Elli, Popuri, and I burst into tears. I leaned over to sob into the cushions of the sofa. They were going to kill Him! They were going to kill Jesus! He had done nothing wrong, but they were going to kill Him!

"'...Then he released Barabbas to them. But he had Jesus flogged, and handed Him over to be crucified.'"

We cried all the harder. I didn't look up from plush leather of the sofa. I just let my many tears run into it unimpeded. When we got to the part about the Roman soldiers mocking Jesus, I felt Jack slide down to sit beside me and stroke my back. I finally turned around, still listening to Cliff's dark reading voice telling the dark story, and let myself cry all over Jack's tee shirt.

"'They stripped Him and put a scarlet robe on Him, and then twisted together a crown of thorns and set it on His head. They put a staff in His right hand and knelt in front of Him and mocked Him. "Hail, king of the Jews!" they said. They spit on Him, and took the staff and struck Him on the head again and again. After they had mocked Him, they took off the robe and put His own clothes on Him. Then they led Him away to crucify Him.'"

Jack wrapped his arms around me, and I continued to sob and wail as Cliff read on about the carrying of the cross, the nailing of His hands and feet, and the mocking sign that they hung above Jesus's head that said, "THIS IS JESUS, THE KING OF THE JEWS."

"'. . ."My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?"'"

"Why _**did**_ He forsake Him?" Popuri screamed in anger.

I looked Jack in the eyes. "Why?" I asked him, my voice barely audible through my flowing tears.

"Just listen," Jack whispered to me.

Cliff continued to read. He read about Jesus's death, and then the burial, and then the guards at the tomb.

But then...then he read about the resurrection.

"'After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb.

"'There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men.

"'The angel said to the women, "Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; He has risen, just as He said. Come and see the place where He lay. Then go quickly and tell His disciples: 'He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see Him.' Now I have told you."

"'So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell His disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. "Greetings," He said. They came to Him, clasped His feet and worshiped Him. Then Jesus said to them, "Do not be afraid. Go and tell My brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see Me."'"

"He's alive!" Popuri shrieked. "He's alive! He's alive!"

Elli and I joined in the squealing as the three of us, who had long since jumped to our feet, began to leap and sing in joy. Never before had I become so involved in the telling of a story.

Finally, when we'd settled down, still sniffling and wiping at our eyes, Jack looked at us and said, "True story."

We all looked at each other.

"When are y'all gonna host another one of these?" Jeff asked. "Next week?"

Cliff and Jack looked at each other sadly. They knew we weren't quite ready for the rest of the story that we knew there was. "Yes," answered Jack. "After the fireworks display on Summer first."

"I'll be here," I said to the two boys in attempts to cheer them up. It worked pretty well. Jack stood, and I embraced him long and hard. "That was a real good story, Jack," I whispered to him as the others around us were having their own conversations. "I believe it."

He was quiet, doing nothing but returning my warm hug. "Then you'd better be here next week, Karen."

I sighed with a grin. Jack must've been the best hugger in the world. "Oh, Jack, you give good hugs," I said, even though I knew I'd said it to him just yesterday.

"So do you," he told me, giving me one last squeeze. "See you later, Karen. Love ya."

"Love you, too, Jack." I stepped away from him. "C'mon, Cliffy, let's go home."

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_A/N: I know, I know, it was short. But after this, things are gonna start picking up pace and getting faster. I'm getting tired of going so slow, as are you I'm sure. I spent all day on this, so I hope you're happy. Please review, and I'll get the next chapter up just as soon as I can._


	20. The Passing of Summer and Fall

The Passing of Summer and Fall

_A/N: I am such a goob for working on this story when I have a major History/English paper due in what. . .five days? You people are just so persuading with your reviews! (for which I am grateful to no end) Plus, if I'm gonna update Love and Loss, I have to update this one first. It's a punishment-reward system. Hahaha, just kidding; writing this is always a pleasure, never a punishment. It's just a whole lot more difficult to write, and Love and Loss is just so breezy and carefree..._

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Weeks passed quickly, each of them bearing Bible studies at the Moonlit Farm. Most every night at my house, Cliff and I would read a chapter or so from what were called the epistles. I was informed that the epistles were letters that a man, the Apostle Paul, had written to all these different churches in all these different cities. They were super useful to my learning, just as Jack and Cliff had predicted.

Summer blew by without a moment of boredom. Chores were done in the earliest morning, generally before sunrise, so I could more thoroughly embrace the day. Mornings after chores were spent on the beach, sometimes with Kai but usually in solitude. The Flowerbud beach had always been a sort of retreat for me, a time to spend in thought only of things I cared to think of. Now my thoughts, I realized each morning as I gazed wistfully out at the sunlit oceanic view, were always drifting in God's direction.

My lunch hour, or hours, were spent either at the bakery or at Jack's, always accompanied by Ann or Elli or Popuri and almost always Kai. It was always afternoons and evenings when the real summer fun set in. Nearly everyday a bunch of us would meet up at the Green or Moonlit Farm and set out for fun whether it be at the beach, on the mountain, or at the Goddess Spring.

It was a summer of limitless adventure and fun of every size, shape, and color.

Finally it was autumn, much to the displeasure of the village children and to the disappointment of everybody else. The Cow Festival came and went with dullness and enthusiasm of the least kind, but by the sixth, excitement was rising concerning the Harvest Festival that would come a week later.

On the seventh, it was Bible study night at Jack's house, so I walked to the Moonlit Farm around seven o'clock with my teen devo Bible in hand. Contrary to the first Bible study I'd attended in late spring, the seats were now filled in Jack's small home. In them sat Jack and Cliff of course, Elli, Jeff, Harris, Basil, Popuri, Lillia, the potion shop dealer, Zach the shipper, Maria, and Rick. Same crowd as last week, I noticed.

For the first time, the study was on a book in the Old Testament, the first one, called Genesis. Jack and Cliff told us it was time to go back to the beginning and see how everything about Jesus had come to be. They led us through the Creation and the Flood, through Abraham's covenant and Jacob's children, through Joseph's dreams, betrayal, reign, revealing, and finally death. (A/N: if you want to read about this stuff, it's all in Genesis, just grab yourself a Bible from somewhere) The whole study took about five hours, so it was midnight by the time we were finished with the whole fifty chapters.

"Next week we'll do the next book, Exodus," Cliff told us, "so if you want to read ahead some, it might give you a better understanding when we go over it. By the way, the next study is here, right after the Harvest Festival."

I wondered if they always held the Bible studies on the nights of festivals to keep us from going out and doing something foolish, like people tend to do on festival nights. By now I had gathered from the epistles I'd been reading with Cliff that it wasn't pleasing to God for people to be "drunk with wine." I understood where God was coming from.

Again, Jack closed with the same thing he'd been closing with for the past few weeks. "Guys, if you want to accept the free gift of Jesus's salvation tonight, or if you want to learn more about accepting it, _please _talk to me or Cliff after we're done, which we almost are. That's why we're doing this. Even if at any other time in the week you just feel led, please come find one of us; we're never too busy, ever. Let's pray and then we can get to bed, unless you want to talk.

"Father, I can't ever thank You enough for this opportunity You've given so freely to me and Cliff to share Your truth with the people in this room tonight. Thank You for bringing all of them here to listen with open hearts to what You have to say. I pray Your blessing of salvation on each of them, that You would open their hearts this week and cause an uprising of longing for You. Help them, Lord, just to open their eyes and minds and hearts and _souls_ to You, Father. Keep us all safe this week, and be by our side as we go about our lives with You. In the name of Your Son Jesus, amen."

"Amen," said Cliff, closing his Bible to keep the notes from overflowing.

I smiled at him and closed mine, too. Everyone got up and began chatting to one another concerning various things. "Ready to go?" I asked my cousin with a wide, tired yawn.

"Actually," he said, "I think Jack was wantin' to talk to you for a bit."

"Really?" I said, still yawning. I turned around to see the ball-capped farmer right behind me. "Oh, Jack. You wanted to talk?"

"Yeah," he said. "Go home, Cliff, I'll walk her back."

I lowered one of my eyebrows at him. "Something wrong?" I asked him, noting Cliff walking out the front door with a wave and smile.

"No, no," he told me, "just have something I need to talk with you about. Wanna go for a walk?"

"Oh-kay," I said hesitantly. When we'd exited the house, I stepped into stride with him as we walked toward the gate, asking, "What's on your mind?"

He looked around to make sure nobody was nearby and said, "Listen, I know you and Kai have been...'together' for a while now."

I looked at him, stuffing my hands into my jeans pockets. "Go on."

"Don't get offended or anything; I know this is none of my business, but..." He paused, closing his eyes for an instant and met my gaze with a look that said "help me."

"Spit it out, Jack," I told him. I thought I had a good idea where he was going with the subject. "It's no big deal. I won't get mad, I don't think, just say it."

"Have you two like..." He made a circling motion with his hand, looking up as if to check his brain, signaling he was looking for the most appropriate words. "Have you two like been _together_?"

I looked away from him for a moment, at my feet, at the crossroads ahead of us. "No," I answered plainly, wishing I could elaborate but not knowing the words. I didn't know why, but it just didn't seem like a big deal for him to be asking me this, so the conversation was more casual than I would ever have guessed it to be.

"Ok, before you ask why I asked you that," Jack said, pausing briefly to recollect his thoughts. "Have you ever thought about it, talked about it, been tempted or anything?"

I chuckled kind of weirdly and replied, "All of the above."

"Why didn't you just do it?"

"Well, right after we got together, the subject came up and we talked about it. We both agreed it wasn't like...Well, y'know, we just didn't want to do it so soon and neither of us really are ready - "

"You mean neither of you have ever...?"

I couldn't help but smile at him. "Right. And plus it was just so soon in our relationship. Since then, though, there've been more than a few times where we've been, y'know, in the right setting, the right mood, and it seemed to be the right time, and we really had to fight it." My gaze turned misty as I recalled three particular instances the past summer in which there had been a struggle with temptation. One had been the fireworks night, of course, on the beach, all alone, beautiful bright sky above the night ocean, dressed only in bathing suits. That night, though, there had been no wandering hands, just long, romantic hours kissing on the shore. But I can't tell you the thought of going further wasn't constantly crossing my mind. Another instance, this one considerably more PG-13, had come upon us when my parents were both gone and Kai and I were watching a romantic comedy on the couch in the living room. The last one had been the night of the Firefly Festival, when both of us had been overcome with a lovey-dovey feeling and literally had to start up an arguement just to stay away from each other.

"And all those times," Jack said suddenly, gently clogging my flow of thoughts, "you just...fought it? You just didn't do it because you knew it wasn't right?"

I nodded.

"Have you decided if you're ever gonna do it? Like before marriage?"

"Not really. We both just said, 'Eventually we'll take that step.' We didn't really set a date." I smiled a little. "Can I ask why you asked now?"

"Yes."

"Do I want to?"

He grinned a little. "I'd say so."

"Ok. Why do you ask?"

"First let me ask you this," he said with a smile, "do you see yourself ever accepting Jesus into your life like Cliff and I have been telling you about? Is there even a possibility?"

"I'd say there definitely is, Jack," I said.

"You're not just saying that to make me feel good?"

"Honest truth, I'm not." I felt an unusual warmth inside me, like something was tugging at my conscience, like the little voice in my head was screaming something and I couldn't make out its words. "I can honestly say that what you guys have showed me so far has been...true, from what I can see. But I don't just wanna go blindly putting my faith in something I haven't fully discovered. You know?"

"And that's not what we want you to do, that's not what I want you to do."

"So why the sex talk?" I asked him.

He let out a small smile. "If you can see yourself later committing yourself to God, losing your virginity isn't something you should do."

Again, I lowered an eyebrow at him.

"If I had my Bible with me right now, I'd show you a reference, but in the Word, God lays out the law. He says not to give yourself away until marriage. And even if you're not committed to Jesus now, once your purity is given away to somebody else, it's gone. You never get it back. It then belongs to that other person. But when you're married, it's like that purity is given to God instead. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does," I said honestly. "I never really thought about it like that."

We were approaching my house at an extremely slow pace. "I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't do anything you would regret later."

"Thanks, it means a lot to me." I gave him a heart-felt smile and a warm hug. "Night, Jack."

"Night," he whispered in my ear. "Sleep good."

"You, too."

oOoOoOoOoOo

And so passed autumn, with its Harvest Festival and its Egg Festival and its biannual horse races, which still bore no jockey for the Green Ranch.

The grapes were riper than they'd been in years, but still not up to the hype of Grandmother Eve's care. My family was busier than ever harvesting every day the new grapes and getting them pressed and processed. Things were picking up pace.

And on the thirtieth day of autumn, just after Daddy had chopped down all the trees in the grove, Mother did as Pappy had instructed in his will those seasons ago, placing into the ground the special seeds he had left behind.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

_A/N: Oh, I know...it was so boring! I'm sorry! I just needed an update...I'm so ashamed! But I promise, the conversation thing between Jack and Karen wasn't pointless; it comes up later. 'Kay? Please review!_


	21. Catching Snowflakes

Catching Snowflakes

A/N: Eeww...I read over my last chapter on this story and decided I can vastly improve. So I hope this chapter is a little better. Actually, I really want to make it _much_ better. And from now on, no more "just being nice" reviews, guys! All the reviews I got were pretty good, and I'm just not feelin' it. Be honest. Please?

Okay, so let's start the story. I'm suffering a minor case of writer's block, so if the beginning seems a little..._blech_, you know what to blame. :P Just kidding; I want you to blame me. Now read the chapter!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Good morning, Flowerbud! Today is Tuesday, and the first day of a fresh new winter season! Put on your jackets; it's freezing out there! We'll reach a high today of seventy, but don't expect it until mid-afternoon. Until then, we'll be experiencing an unusual early-season low of thirty-eight, but the average temperature will tend to stick around the forties and fifties."

Click.

The small living room television flashed to a screen of black, and I tossed the remote into the old brown armchair near the stairs. The hardwood floor was chill on my bare feet as I tip-toed around to the kitchen to check the temperature of the sink window with the palm of my hand.

Brrr...The weatherlady hadn't been joking. I could see a thin layer of frost covering the glass outside and felt an uprising of joy rising in me. Never before had I really enjoyed the cold nip of winter, but change in the village always excited me. I loved watching the last of the dead brown leaves fall, leaving the short, sturdy trees of Flowerbud naked and frozen. I loved seeing my breath puff out around my face, walking around town watching the villagers in their thick sweaters, their cheeks flushed pink, their lips shaded lavendar, with skin as pale as the sand on the beach without the light of the sun.

Two slices of warm bread popped out of the toaster, tinted brown and crisp to the touch. I hungrily grabbed them, spread my favorite strawberry jelly all over them, and proceeded to stuff my face, gazing out the kitchen window as I did so. There probably wouldn't be snow for a few days, maybe even a week. Then again, low temperatures were coming quick this year. The first of winter, and already a low of under forty degrees?

The hems of my PJ bottoms dragging on the floor around my feet, I walked back into the slightly warmer living room and pressed my ear against Kai's bedroom door. No noise. He probably wasn't in there. I glanced at the clock and read 8:24 AM. That meant he was most likely out in the cellar, labeling this, organizing that. What a boring job. I knew because I had done it before.

Suddenly the front door opened, and in walked Kai, wrapped in a big old jacket and gloves. Closing the door behind him, he smiled at me and said, "Morning, beautiful."

I swallowed my last bite of toast and answered, "Good morning, handsome," as he stepped toward me.

"It's cold out there," he said, pulling off the gloves and shedding his jacket onto the back of the couch.

"I know," I grinned, "your lips are blue."

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah."

He pressed his discolored lips against mine briefly and smiled.

"Ooh!" I giggled. "Cold! Here, you could use a little warming up." I buried myself in his arms, pressing my head against his chest, my hands curled up against my own, and I had a feeling I was getting more warmth than he. He rubbed my back with his hands and bent his neck so he could touch his cool cheek to my forehead.

"So," Kai said, not departing his body from mine but leaning his head back so he could speak to me. "What's the plan for today?"

"Well, I haven't really got anything scheduled. It's Tuesday, so I don't have to work tonight."

"You wanna have dinner or something?"

"Sure," I said, cocking my head sideways. "Dinner sounds good. I'm eating lunch at the bakery with Jack, Ann, and Cliff, but - " I paused. "Hmm...Where is Cliff?"

Such a question was not unusual. My cousin had developed the strange habit of periodically disappearing, and then spontaneously popping up where we last expected him. Actually, we'd found him hanging around Green Ranch rather frequently lately, but it was far too early for that today. He must be out on the mountain, I decided, or in the woods, or at the beach.

"Ooh!" I jumped. "The beach! Let's go to the beach, Kai. I love the beach when it's cold out."

Kai cocked his eyebrows a little and frowned. "I don't know. I've still got some work to do."

"Aw, what work?"

"Some reorganizing. I just came in here to get some breakfast and a shower."

"Ooo-kaaay," I drawled, my voice whiny and reluctant. "Well, I can always go by myself."

"I'm sorry," he apologized sweetly, stroking my tangled morning hair with his hand affectionately. "But dinner?"

I smiled up at him. "Yeah. I'll meet you here at seven?"

"'Kay. I'll probably see you before then, but just in case..."

Kai's hand, on the back of my neck, pulled my face close to his until our lips met. I placed my hands on either side of his face and felt the motions of his jaw with my palms. He pulled me deeper and deeper into himself as though we both lasted for an eternity. His hands felt up and down my partially-extended arms. Our bodies were pressed together firmly. I felt electricity between our lips and couldn't get enough. It wasn't just a thrill to kiss him, but a passion, a love. It was an example of romantic perfection.

My hand slid down his neck, to his chest, where I felt for a button on his shirt and found one. Immediately it was undone, and I undid the rest just as quickly. I felt him temporarily hesitate in his kiss, but instantly the level of passion between us intensified.

Suddenly I realized we had fallen on the couch. His shirt was off, his warm skin bare beneath me. My heart was racing, my blood pumping, my mind reeling, all faster than ever before. His fingers found the edge of my small nightshirt and took hold of the hems, swiftly pulling it over my head. Our lips parted just enough so that the shirt could come off and be tossed aside.

He moved so that I was underneath him, shivering and quaking uncontrollably. Whether from nervousness or excitement or fright I don't know, but my body shook with adrenaline as Kai reached for the waistline of my pants.

There was a noise at the front door, and I don't know how we heard it in the midst of such a riot of unimpeded passionate lust, but we did. Immediately, I put my hands beneath Kai's bare shoulders and pushed him off of me. My cheeks red not only from heat but from embaressment at my naked chest, I hurriedly got up off the couch. I caught Kai's eyes for a split-second and gave him a look of reluctance. I truly, truly wished we hadn't been interrupted. Never had I wanted something so badly as I wanted this.

I heard the soft metallic clink of the doorknob being turned and, not knowing what else to do, darted into Kai's bedroom, slamming the door behind me.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Two hours later, alone in my bathroom, I was still crying. By then I had remembered the conversation I'd had with Jack those weeks ago, and had entirely mixed emotions about the whole ordeal.

On the one hand, I was upset at the interruption. I was disappointed because I'd felt so connected to Kai, so close to him, so _in love_ with him. Truly. I'd felt an honest love between us. I felt sad because such a wonderful, beautiful, perfect, passionate, romantic experience had been stopped before it had fully begun.

However, on the other hand, I hated myself for letting it get so far. What about what Jack had said? He'd told me that if I saw God in my future, not to do something like this. Not to lose my virginity. Didn't I want my first time with a man to be pure, and not some irresistable temptation?

Umm...Maybe?

No: _yes_. I did want it to be pure. But more than that, I just _wanted it._ I _wanted _that special bond with Kai. Surely he was the right guy. Guys didn't come much better than Kai! He'd treated me like a real woman, not a temp girlfriend. He'd made me feel more beautiful than I'd ever felt before.

And what really moved me was that Kai wanted it, too. I knew. I knew from the way he touched me. I knew from the way his lips were eager and excited when we kissed. I knew he wanted me because I felt it. I felt it in his hands, his lips, his words, his motions, his body.

But we hadn't done it. We'd been so close, and yet at the same time, so far. And we would've had a chance to be _together_, but it was over. It was all over. And so I didn't know what else to do but cry.

So that's what I did. All alone, on the tile floor of my upstairs bathroom, leaning my back against the cold tile wall, I sobbed into my folded arms. I was numb, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. My tears fell so hot into my sleeves that after a while I couldn't feel them anymore; I didn't even know if they were still coming. I felt closed off from the world, alone, like a child. A small, inexperienced, unknowing, _virgin_ child, without even a mother to pick me up off the floor.

I wished Jack was there to hug me.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I didn't leave the house that day, not even to meet my friends for lunch at the bakery. But six o'clock rolled around, so I decided to get ready for my date with Kai.

I didn't know where he would take me, so I just guessed someplace casual. He'd be tired from working all day and probably wouldn't want to go anywhere special. Not like there was anyplace special on this ignorant island.

I was sitting on the counter in my underwear, shaving my legs in the sink when my mother knocked on the bedroom door. "Karen?" she called. "Karen, can I come in?"

Sighing, I called back, "I guess."

I heard the door open and then her say, "Where are you?"

"The bathroom."

She stepped into the doorway. "Date tonight?" she asked, a small, wistful smile on her face.

I smiled a little. "Yeah. I don't know where he's taking me, but I was thinkin' I'd wear a skirt, so I'd better shave 'cause...it's been a few days," I added with a laugh.

She chuckled some and said, "So it's been a long time, huh? I mean, you two have been together for a while now."

"Three seasons next week," I replied.

"The time's really flown by," Mother said, her voice dreamy. "The two of you really do make a nice couple. You remind me of Pappy and Lyssa Mae, rest their souls."

I smiled and felt a leftover tear trickle down my face. I didn't wipe at it; I just let it roll slowly down until it dripped onto the white foamy goop on my right leg.

"Why, what's the matter, dear?" Mother asked, moving closer.

"Nothing, it's just..." I took a breath much needed. "Nothing."

"Are you sure?"

I slowly, carefully drew the razor up my leg, letting it wipe away the cream as it went. When I'd made it all the way up, I shook out the gunk in the water-filled sink. "I just...Mother, can I ask you a personal question?"

She gave me a very typical look and a small quirk at the corner of her mouth but nodded. "Yes."

"Did you ever like...Did you ever like sleep with somebody? You know, before you got married? Even with Daddy?"

Mother obviously wasn't surprised. She just leaned against the doorframe, her calm eyes becoming misty and unreadable. "I'm not sure I'm the best example, Karen. Things were a lot different when I was your age."

"Well, I'm not the best girl, so I don't need the best example." I shook another clump of goo into the nasty sink water.

"You know it's windy out," Mother told me. "You won't be able to wear a skirt; you'll only get goosebumps and become prickly."

I rolled my eyes in spite of myself, but still continued to drag the razor against my skin. My legs needed a good shave anyway. "Don't change the subject."

Finally, she stepped fully into the bathroom, arms crossed, lips hesitant to move. "No. No, I didn't."

I flashed a disbelieving smile, letting out a huffy breath and rolling my green eyes. "I thought you said you weren't the best example."

"Well, it's not the best example. It's the twenty-first century now. It's okay to have sex before marriage now, even here in this other dimension we call Flowerbud. When I was seventeen, my parents would have killed me had I gone out and done something like that, and all the chattering hens, some of whom are still around, would've run my name into the ground. But now it's different. Now it's normal. Teenage girls do these things."

This "philosophy" didn't really make sense to me. A change in time, it seemed, should not be able to change the meaning of morality. I mean, wasn't it a matter of morale?

It was to me. What kind of girl would I be if I simply fell into such a life-changing temptation? Nobody special, that's for sure.

I found myself choking on my own thoughts, most of which I could not even understand. Finally I just quit thinking about it momentarily so I could reply. "Well, that seems a little weird."

"Now, Karen, you don't, by any means, have to go have sex with Kai to fulfill your life as a teenager. There are a lot of girls who wait. I know Ann is going to wait. But she's waiting because her father is making her. I don't want to be her father. I want you to do what you think is best. I don't want to be like my mother and father, who forced me to wait, and I certainly don't want to be like your father's parents, who practically forced him to lose his virginity before he married me."

"What?" I recoiled, startled and caught off guard. "That's ridiculous!"

"Yes, well, they are Mundells," she laughed good-naturedly.

I laughed with her, shaking my head in disbelief. "That's just so stupid. I can't believe it. So you mean they made Daddy sleep with another girl before you and him got married?"

Mother smiled and said, "Well, I didn't really choose my words correctly. What they really did was push the idea of what I told you before. You know, that premarital sex is normal, that it is a good thing, blah, blah, blah. I don't fully agree with those thoughts, but I'm not going to make your decision for you. It's an important one, Karen. You really need to make it beforehand, so that when you're caught in the heat of the moment, you know what to do."

Heat of the moment. Sounded strangely familiar.

"That makes sense, Mother," I told her. "Thanks. That really helps make my decision."

"May I ask what your decision is?"

"I'm gonna wait until I'm married...I'm just gonna wait."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"Wow." My teeth chattered together as the word blew softly through them. "It is really cold out here. Really cold."

"Yep," Kai said in response, inhaling deeply. "We've reached today's low. It's thirty-eight."

"Whoa."

"Yeah, I know. We've got a pretty good weather station. I wonder if they can guess that good in the city?"

I grinned at him, hugging myself with my heavily jacketed arms. By looking at my wardrobe, you'd guess we were already experiencing the heart of winter. Jeans, boots, long sleeves, a puffy jacket, and a dorky beanie didn't really do it for flattering my figure. My undone hair blew softly around my neck in the breeze, giving me a sort of wistful, excited feeling.

The night sky radiated, really radiated a deep, deep, dark sapphire blue, unobstructed by the clouds we'd seen all autumn, and was dotted with countless, brightly shining stars. The crossroads were an excellent place to stargaze, though it was far too cold to do this tonight.

However, we stopped in the very middle, and he turned to face me. "Listen, Karen, about earlier..."

"I'm sorry," I blurted. "Oops. I didn't mean to say that so soon in the conversation. Go on. Sorry."

He looked at me like he was about to say something like, "You're so cute," but just smiled a little and said, "I know you felt me hesitate. You know, when it first started happening."

I nodded, as if prodding him to continue.

"And I felt that hesitation from my heart. But you were just so...so good and so...perfect, I just felt I had to have you, and...a part of me loves what happened, and a part of me regrets every second."

I harnessed my words until I was sure he was finished. "I know. I feel the same way. You're a really amazing guy, and _such_ a wonderful kisser, and the ultimate charmer, but it was all just so...heat of the moment. When I...When I have sex for the first time, I just want it to be pure. You know? I just don't want to be lost in temptation. I want it to be perfect."

He nodded.

"And I think you should know..." I paused nervously. "That I decided I want to wait until I'm married to have sex. 'Cause then, I know it won't just be having sex, it'll be making love. You know?"

He nodded again. "I understand completely."

"Thank you." I stepped into his outstretched arms, and despite the separation caused by our jackets, I felt better. I felt good.

We walked to the bakery together, his arm around me, my arm around him, our heads tilted atop each other's, feeling on top of the world.

oOoOoOoOoOo

A few days later, Kai left town for the weekend on a really stupid, plan-ruining business trip with my dad. We'd been planning to spend a weekend with Jack, Cliff, Ann, and Elli camping in the woods, but because of the silly trip, we postponed it so we could all be there to enjoy.

The night after Kai's departure, I was alone at the house and bored out of my mind, so I decided to go visit Jack. He lived on a farm; surely there'd be something to do there, something I could help with or talk to him about. I would've gone to Ann's instead, but apparently she and Cliff were "on a walk."

So I got up, got dressed, and set out. It was still very cold, but there was still no snow. Stupid weatherlady, I thought to myself as I walked quickly past the village. She told me there was going to be snow today, but it was six PM and still the snow was a no-show.

The latch on Jack's gate was frozen stuck, so after a few tries at unjamming it, I easily hopped the waist-high fence. I saw lights on inside the house through the window, and movement, so I didn't hesitate or even knock before twisting the doorknob. "Hello?" I called after cracking it a little. "Any boxer-clad Jacks waiting to pop out and scar me?" I saw him standing, fully clothed mind you, in front of the desk on the left wall. He looked like he had just moved it, because it was closer to the front corner now.

Laughing, Jack removed his hands from its top and greeted me, "Hey, come on in; I just lit the fire."

"Ooh, a fireplace!" I marveled at the new addition next to the television, which had been moved slightly to the left to make room. "You're just changing this place up all over the place."

He nodded, sliding his hands into the back pockets of his loose-fit jeans. "Yeah, and the carpenter's crew is stopping by tomorrow to size up the area for a kitchen addition. I'm really excited. After that, I get a real bathroom!"

I giggled at his quirky humor. I noticed a stack of unfamilar things in front of the sofa. "What's all this?" I asked, pointing at it shortly with the hand that wasn't dangling from my belt loop.

"Oh, just some Christmas decorations Dad sent. I was gonna hang 'em up tonight. You can help if you like," he added with a wink.

"Hm," I murmured. "Christmas. We've never really celebrated Christmas here before."

"That's what Dad said in his note. But there's no way I going for a year with no Christmas. It's my favorite."

"What's it all about? I mean, I know about Santa Claus and blah, blah, blah, but I don't really know the holiday. So, what's it all about?"

"Well, really, it's about the birth of Jesus."

"Really? I never knew it was a Christian holiday."

"Yeah, Christianity's the base, but it can pretty much be universally celebrated. It really emphasizes the spirit of giving and selflessness. It's a lot of fun. In the city, everybody in the neighborhood puts up lights and nativity scenes and decorations, and on Christmas Eve, you can just drive around for hours and admire and judge and just have a blast. Christmas morning is really the best part, for kids anyway. That's when everybody gets presents, which, by the way, are stored underneath the Christmas tree."

"Now, I know about the Christmas tree. You hang ornaments and lights and popcorn on it, right? And as you get the gifts, you wrap 'em up and stick 'em under there."

"Right." Jack sat down on the floor next to all the stuff and started sorting through it. I joined him, just looking at all the things. Giant candy canes, real candy canes, several boxes of ornaments, several boxes of blinking lights to hang, strings of garland, and even a few mistletoes.

"Ooh, I think I like this holiday."

"Well, good, 'cause we're gonna start the tradition right here in town. Okay?"

I grinned ear to ear. "'Kay. Oh, I'm so excited, this is gonna be so much fun! So where's your Christmas tree?"

"Well, tomorrow, Cliff and I are gonna go cut some. There's some beautiful pine trees out by the Hm-Hm Spring."

I burst into giggles at the funny nickname he and Cliff had made for the Goddess Spring. It was all a joke of course. They were just being very funny. Very, very funny boys.

"And they're not too big either, so it's perfect. We can fit them in all these tiny little houses." He picked up an armload of the decorations. "So you wanna help me put all these up?"

"Absolutely."

For the next two and a half hours, Jack and I hung lights, planted candy canes, strung garland, and settled into place a big old light-up Santa Claus figure out by the mailbox. The finishing touch was a pretty little wreath on the front door with a big red bow on top.

"I love it!" I exclaimed. "I just want to do it to my house now."

"Well, lucky for you, I've got even more stuff in the barn."

"What? How'd you manage that?"

"Well, Dad's the one who thought of bringing Christmas to Flowerbud. He sent me all the goods."

"Wow. Your dad is really cool."

Jack nodded. "I know, and I never thought I'd say that." He grinned. What a cutie.

"Well, it sure is cold!" I said, white mist puffing from my lips as I said so.

"It sure is," Jack murmured, rubbing his bare hands together. "Let's get inside, and I'll get the fire goin' again. Heck, I've even got hot coacoa."

"Mmm," I hummed longingly as we made our way back indoors.

Within minutes, the fire was alive, and we were nestled in the pillows of the sofa with steaming mugs of coacoa in our numb hands. It'd been seasons since I'd felt so at home. I loved being in Jack's company. It was like he and I were created for the sole purpose of being friends like this.

We sat and talked for what must have been an hour. I asked him about his family, told him what I'd learned about him from Pappy's photo album, and together we recounted our childhood memories.

Finally I finished my coacoa and looked at the clock to see it was almost ten. "Oh, oops!" I said. "Mother'll be wondering where I'm at. Thanks, Jack, I had a great time. Christmas will be awesome this year." I stood.

He stood, too. "I'll see you later, Karen."

"Bye, Jack." I made my way to the door and opened it, ready to make my way home. But something different caught my eye. "Jack! Jack, come out here, it's snowing!"

He instantly began to laugh and bounded out the door with me. Small, fragile, beautiful snowflakes fell from the dark sky like it was magical. Jack and I caught them on our tongues, blinking them away from our eyelashes laughingly. We were cold, but we just couldn't leave the snow outside to play alone!

It seemed like we played forever, running, spinning, skipping, turning, arms spread, mouths open, fingers shivering. I was having a blast, and felt like the luckiest girl in the world to have such an awesome friend to share it with.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A/N: Ooh, that was a _lot_ of fun. I hope you liked it! I like it! Please review and let me know. Oh, and I do _so_ like those long reviews. Catch y'all later!


	22. Christmas in Flowerbud

Christmas in Flowerbud

_A/N: 'Kay, here we go._

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"Where do you think you're going, Miss Priss?"

"Shopping!"

"Where?" Daddy called after me as I stepped through the opening in the fence that separated our vineyard from the crossroads. On it hung lengthy strings of Christmas garland with red velvet bows placed periodically on the depressions. Jack and I had put it there. On the front door we'd also put a wreath, and inside was a wonderful tree, decorated by ornaments and lights and a light-up star at the very top.

Smiling to myself, I adjusted the long strap to my purse so that it hung diagonally across my body, over my right shoulder, and stopped to turn and answer him. "The mainland. Don't worry. Mother's already given me the lecture about using my own money."

He gave me a bewildered look, his thick eyebrows quirked and his dark eyes doubtful. "What are you going shopping for?"

"Presents," I replied. "Christmas presents. See you later, Daddy."

I didn't wait for a responsive farewell because I knew I wouldn't get one. Instead I began walking the downhill path to the center of the crossroads, where I continued to go straight, on my way to Ann's.

It had snowed immensely last night so that a thick, heavy blanket was laid out across the entire town, glistening, gleaming, and glowing attractively. It wasn't very wet, just cold, and solid enough so that my booted feet did not sink as I walked. In fact, a soft, but satisfying "crunch" was made with every step. The sun was out today, just partially hidden behind big, poofy gray-white clouds. There was a chill breeze, too, sweeping gently through the village much more gracefully than it had in the past week or so. Then, the wind had been harsh and mean, blowing and screaming cruelly through the streets of Flowerbud.

The knob on Ann's front door was icy and cold, and I feared it would not turn if I tried to twist it. My fear was in vain, however, because the door was opened by a resident from inside. "Morning, Gray," I told him with a happy smile.

"Morning." His reply was dull and sleepy, as though he had just woke up.

"You okay?" I asked him, flicking a strand of disobedient hair away from my face with a very cold hand. Gray motioned with his arm for me to enter, so I shook the snow off my boots and stepped inside.

"Yeah, I'm okay. My joints just ache when it snows like this."

I giggled. "Golly, Gray, you're gettin' old."

He smiled faintly. "Ann's in the barn, but she'll be in any minute."

I nodded, seating myself in a prehistoric lazy chair and pulling the lever so that it reclined. "Ooh," I marveled. "I didn't think it would still work."

"I'm gonna go get in the shower," Gray informed me. "Make yourself at home. There's milk and juice in the fridge if you're thirsty, and we've got so much leftover jerky it's not even funny. Help yourself."

"'Kay," I smiled. He disappeared into the bathroom. I didn't get up, just sat and waited for Ann.

Five minutes passed. Then eight more. Gray came out of the bathroom fully clothed and asked me what I was still doing here. "Waiting for Ann," was my bored reply.

"Want me to go get her?" Gray asked courteously.

"Thanks, but it's okay. I think I'll go see for myself what she's up to." I slowly pushed myself off the chair and prepared myself for the cool air that I knew would be outside.

Once outside, I secured the beanie on my head and was about to start walking to the barn until a shock of orange caught my eye. I looked up to see Ann standing out in the field, near the barn, with who else but my cousin. Smiling, I watched them.

They were talking. Ann rubbed her hands together. I knew she must have been freezing, for her coat was not made for cold winter days, but for nippy autumn evenings, for style and fashion. Silly Ann. I knew she had a proper coat, one that had once belonged to Gray, which was thick and suitable for such a cold day, but did not know why it wasn't being worn.

But wait...It was being worn.

Just not by Ann.

I was startled to see my own cousin wrapped in the jacket, the collar tucked up around his neck, his hands thrust deep into the pockets. I could tell by the look on his face that he felt guilty for wearing the girl's coat while she shivered in the minimal comfort of thin denim jacket. Ew...What was that ugly thing wrapped around her neck?

It was a long scarf, puke green and mustard yellow in color, woven from wool with uneven tassles on the ends. Twice it was wrapped around her neck, but it was so long, it hung down to her belt still.

I realized that the scarf belonged to Cliff. It was I who had stitched it when I was a young girl and given it to him when we were fifteen. I couldn't believe he'd kept the hideous thing, much less that he had given it to a girl, a girl he liked.

Suddenly, I knew what a perfect match the two made. They cared about each other, and not only that, but they _took_ care of each other. Cliff had no jacket, so Ann gave him hers. Ann's neck was bare, so Cliff gave her his scarf.

The thought was so sensationally sweet that a warm, wet tear dripped down my face, past a small smile.

As the two continued to talk to one another, I wished I could hear their words. Ann was laughing, probably at something Cliff had said, and he smiled with a dreamy look spread across his face, one that I read easily.

He was obviously in love.

oOoOoOoOoOo

By the end of the day, Ann and I were exhausted from lengthy hours spent raiding three different malls and a strip center. We bought so many gifts for so many people that the ferrymen had to help us carry them all to the shore, then Zach showed up to help us get them to our homes.

The sky was dark, full of clouds, lit only by a partly-visible moon when I hugged Ann goodbye. "Wrapping party day after tomorrow," I told her. "We can do it at my place."

"'Kay." She started to unwrap the ugly scarf from around her neck. "Could you give this back to Cliff for me?"

I smiled. "I think he'd like you to have it."

Her cheeks heated up until they were dark pink in color. "Okay," she murmured. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night." I picked up all my bags and started home.

oOoOoOoOoOo

By the twentieth day of winter, Flowerbud Village was alive with Christmas spirit. Jack had the whole town learning the songs, quoting the sayings, starting the traditions. We had mistletoes above every doorway, red and white candles on every table, lights hung along every rooftop, figures of Santa, reindeer, elves, and snowmen in every yard, and wreaths on every front door. The potion shop dealer dressed his puppies up as reindeer and his grandchildren as elves. People were walking around in Santa hats, with jingle bells on their jewelry. There was talk of a Christmas party the night of the twenty-fifth at Jack's house.

The night of the twentieth, I was at the Moonlit Farm with Ann, Cliff, and Jack, sitting around the fireplace, sipping on hot chocolate, and watching a movie on the television. "I'm excited about Christmas," Ann said, breaking the previous silence except for the noise of the TV.

"I am, too," I agreed. "But I don't think I'll be getting as many presents as I bought for everybody else."

We laughed. Jack said, "You know what's cool? I found out there's like, a festival the night before Christmas. Back home we call it Christmas Eve, and here it's the Starry Night Festival, right?"

"Right," I answered him.

"What's that one all about?" Cliff asked. "Sounds like another romantic one."

Ann blushed herself into silence, so I replied, "It is! You just get together with your significant other, and if you don't have one of those, you get a date, and you sit someplace alone and look at the stars. Somehow, it's always a clear night on the Starry Night Festival."

"This one actually sounds cool," Cliff joked.

I cast a hinting glance from him to Ann, causing my friend to blush all the more and slink down into the cushions of the sofa. I laughed within myself. How could I be so cruel and yet so funny at the same time? For Ann's sake, I turned the topic to Jack. "So, Jack, have you got anybody in mind?"

Ann began coughing, and very unsubtly mixed a friend's name into the act. "Elli!" she coughed through her fist.

"Elli?" Jack questioned, feigning startledness.

"Oh, Jack, come on!" I said. "Don't you like her?"

"Yeah, she's a good friend," he said in reply.

Ann and I looked at each and then back to him. "Please ask her," Ann pleaded.

"Yeah," I chimed.

"Yeah," Cliff said mockingly.

I slugged him playfully on the shoulder and then stood. "I better get home. Mother says she'll set a curfew if I don't start getting home earlier."

Jack and Ann sucked their thumbs, teasing me.

"Oh, hush," I told them. "C'mon, Cliff, we'd better go."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"So where do you wanna go for the festival tonight?" Kai asked me, tilting his head down so he could look at me. We sat cuddling on the couch in the living room before the television.

My head nestled against his chest, I answered in a low, masculine voice, "The beach!"

He laughed. "How did I know you would say that?"

"Because nobody goes the beach in winter." I moved so that I was sitting further upright, with my head leaning on his shoulder, and his head leaning on my head. "So we can be all alone..."

He laughed and turned to kiss me softly on the lips. The kiss was shorter than I'd wanted or expected because he broke away and said, "The sun's setting. Let's go."

I smiled. "'Kay. Let me go get dressed." I pulled myself up and jogged up the stairs, closing my bedroom door behind me. After peeling off my sloppy sweats and mismatched toe socks, I slid into a comfy, warm pair of jeans and a random tee shirt which I covered up with a slightly oversized navy blue hoodie. My hair was thrown into a messybun, and I slid into the most comfortable pair of shoes I had on my way out the door. "Ready to go?" I asked him.

"Yep." Kai jumped off the couch and hurried to open the door for me.

"Well, thank you, sir," I told him.

"Well, you're welcome, ma'am," he answered with a cute grin. He took my hand and held it the whole way to the beach. We passed the Green Ranch and weren't surprised to see Cliff sitting with Ann on the back fence, waiting for the stars to appear. I smiled to myself. They were cute.

I wondered if Jack had asked Elli to the festival.

Upon entering the beach area, I shed all thoughts of other couples and began focusing my attention on the sky and on the man beside me. We stood for a moment on the sand, side by side, hands intertwined, gazing out at the glistening sea. The last of the sun had just disappeared beneath the horizon. The beach was silent except for the calm licking of the waves on the frosty shore and the calling of nearby seagulls. I looked up at the sky and wasn't surprised to see it void of clouds and of the moon.

Together Kai and I sat down on the cold, frozen sand, scooting close to one another. I covered overlapped his legs with mine and cuddled against him, seeking warmth and quite honestly, a measure of pleasure. The buttons of his jacket were cold on my cheek, so I pushed them aside and nestled my head against his tee shirt. He wrapped his arms around me and I smiled to myself, slinking further down so that I was practically laid out on top of him.

Finally, the first stars began to appear. Within minutes, the dark, empty sky was filled near spacelessly with countless, brightly-radiating orbs of light. The way the glowing dots reflected on the water of the sea moved me to a state of awe.

I was sure there was a God, and felt as though this night had been made just for me.

Minutes passed like cars on a freeway. I felt Kai's hand creep up the back of my jacket, and I didn't hate it. In one smooth, slow motion, he turned, so that I was on my back on the sand and he was positioned above me. I saw his beautiful face before the backdrop of the most beautiful night sky I'd yet to witness and didn't protest when he lowered his lips to mine.

Hungrily he kissed me. His lips moved quickly, recklessly, missing my mouth instance after instance. Finally I placed my hands on either side of his face and slowed him down. In a slow, yet solid kiss I told him how beautiful I felt tonight. I was thankful and yet disappointed when his hands stayed firmly in place underneath my back and on the left side of my face, but such meaningless, rather silly emotions were hidden behind a feeling of pleasure surpassing _ANY _other night or day I'd spent in this man's arms.

Forever it seemed we lay there, in warmth despite the cold, in happiness despite the minute, lingering feeling of shame. Was there shame to be felt? Was there some guilt to be punished with for kissing a man so...passionately? Or was it passion?

Was it lust?

I didn't know, and at that moment, didn't care. I didn't want to care. Tomorrow was Christmas. Why burden myself with ill feelings? Why sadden the joy I was currently experiencing?

There wasn't a word to describe the way I felt that night, underneath Kai's body. Happy was too severe an understatement, joyful expressed too shallow a love, and lustful was not entirely accurate. I was happy, yes, but to an extent that I felt I would soon burst into pieces. But lustful...?

Yes, perhaps lustful. I wanted Kai. Badly. And in a way, it seemed this was the closest I would get to having him for a very long time. Still there was this nagging, even pestering feeling of wanting more. Time after time I felt the urge to reach for his belt buckle, and time after time I told myself, "It's close enough. It's close enough. Can't you feel it, Karen? Can't you feel the...electricity? The passion? Karen, his lips are as satisfying as anything else he can offer. Why take a step that doesn't need to be taken?" And time after time, I agreed with myself, though there was always a complex emotion rattling its bell in my mind, telling me just to do it. The bell was ignored, because I felt content ENOUGH to last me for tonight.

Finally, his lips parted from mine, tired but reluctant and uncontent. Our breaths collided in clouds of white mist. His deep, mysterious brown eyes looked down into mine, and I wanted to pull him closer, to kiss him violently, but my body was trembling for several a reason. I was tired, exhausted even. We had kissed for a very long time. My jaws ached. I needed open air.

Still I pulled him closer for one final kiss, a short one, though satisfying. And finally, he let himself roll beside me, and together we fell asleep on the shore.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I woke up in my bed, alone, wearing the same clothes I'd had on last night. The covers of the bed were all tucked in around me, and I felt very warm. I didn't want to get up because I knew the floor would be cold, but then I realized I was wearing a pair of socks. Still I was reluctant.

Suddenly I remembered. It was Christmas morning.

In excitement I leapt out of bed, tossing the sheets aside. I swiftly changed into a pair of large, loose sweatpants and a tee shirt, redoing my hair for safety's sake. I didn't want to scare anyone into a coma. After splashing two handfuls of water on my face and inadequately brushing me teeth, I thundered down the stairs happily.

"Merry Christmas!" I shouted to whoever might've been downstairs.

"Merry Christmas!" replied my mother and father. Kai was not in the room.

"Where is Kai?" I asked them, in a rush remembering every moment of last night and wanting to see him. "And where's Cliff?"

"I guess Kai's still asleep, but Cliff is out," Mother answered.

"Out?" I asked. "Out where?"

"Guess." Mother's eyes filled with sparkles of glee.

"Oh!" I squealed. "Christmas with Ann! How romantic!"

Without another word I knocked on his bedroom door. Two short knocks and a slow twist of the doorknob would surely be enough to let him know I was coming in. I heard no answer but opened the door anyway, closing it quietly behind me.

He lay in bed, buried completely under his covers. I sat down beside his hidden form and leaned on him slightly. Slowly, I pulled the comforter away from his face and wasn't surprised to see a puddle of drool formed on his pillow. I used the corner of a sheet to wipe it away from his mouth.

Waking up slowly, he slurped and opened his eyes. "Morning," I told him, leaning down to gently press my lips against his.

"Mmmm," he moaned in pleasure. "That's the best greeting I ever got." His voice was groggy and funny, his eyes half-open and his smile half-spread. "Good morning."

"It's Christmas, you know."

"Yes, I do know. I hope you don't mind, I didn't get you a present or anything."

I grinned. "You're a funny one. Come on. Let's go to the living room and unwrap!"

He smiled sleepily. "Okay, okay." He sat up and softly placed his covers aside. "Get out of here so I can change. Or you know, you can stay if you like."

Giggling, I replied, "No, that's okay. I think I'll go back with Mother and Daddy."

I emerged from the bedroom to see my parents actually snuggling on the couch. Wow. That was a...change. But I wasn't complaining. It was actually rather cute.

I collapsed into the armchair, and we waited for a few minutes until Kai came out freshly clothed.

Gift wrap was thrown everywhere as presents were unraveled. Nothing extremely special was given. There were handbags, gloves, boots, sweaters, jewelry (including a lovely necklace given to me by Kai), picture frames, mantel pieces, different kinds of room decor. Daddy got an electric saw from Mother.

I thanked my family and boyfriend and gingerly carried my new things upstairs. Looking in the mirror before grabbing the few gifts I still needed to deliver, I fingered the new locket which hung about my neck. In it was a picture of Kai and me, a close-up, lips locked in a loving kiss. The photo was from the Fall Horse Races after the final race. It was wonderful.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I delivered several presents before heading to the Moonlit Farm. A bracelet for Elli, a pair of earrings for Maria, a series of beautiful romance novels for Popuri, a vase for Granny Ellen, a set of pictures in decorative frames for Anella and May to share, and a pretty lamp for the potion shop dealer's house. To Ann I gave a cute spring jacket and an adorable little trinket box in which to keep her jewelry. To Cliff I gave a new scarf, an attractive one, and a playful, teasing wink.

Finally, to Jack's house I carried a special present, carefully selected, carefully wrapped, carefully carried. I didn't knock on the door because the box I was holding was too big, so I pulled it away just long enough to swing the front door open before me. Regaining my grip, I walked inside the house.

I wasn't surprised to see light in the fireplace and a mug of hot cocoa in Jack's hands. He spun his head around from the Christmas Day Parade on TV to look at me. I was surprised, however, to see that he was alone.

Alone on Christmas.

"Oh, Jack," I said sympathetically. "I didn't know you were going to be all alone on Christmas. I would've invited you to my house. I'm so sorry..."

"No, it's fine," he said.

Liar.

I carefully placed the large box on the dresser on the left wall, afterwards turning back to face him. "Hot cocoa again?" I asked, a sly smile on my face.

He smiled back a little. "Makes me think of you."

How sweet! That Jack...He really was something. "I was thinking of you, too, Jack. While I was shopping."

The boy gave me an odd look. "Tell me that's not a present in that box," he said, his voice disbelieving.

"Oh, but it is, Jack!" I picked it up again and brought it to him, sitting beside him on the couch. I pushed it gently into his hands. "Open it."

"What is it?"

"Open it, you goob!"

He stared into my eyes for a second and then started to unfold the prettily patterned wrapping paper. Underneath he found a sizable cardboard box, which he opened easily. Inside were gigantic wads of protective paper, but once he got through all of those, he gasped at what lay beneath. "Wow," he murmured, pulling it out.

It was a big stone cross. As long as his arm and as wide as his leg, it was absolutely breath-taking. Its surface was not smooth at all, but rugged, bumpy, rough to the touch. Though its shape was defined, it was not by any means a picture of glossy perfection. And that is what I loved about it.

That is what I loved about Jack.

"Karen, it's perfect. I couldn't have asked for hardly anything better." He ran his hand over its uneven surface, finally looking into my eyes. "Thank you."

I returned his gaze with friendly love. Clearing my throat, I said, "And there's also this." I reached into the box to pull out a large picture frame. Photos always held special meaning to me. I loved memories; I loved looking back on happy ones.

This picture had been taken at the Harvest Festival this past Autumn. In it, Jack and I stood in mid-embraces, faces squished against each other for the camera. Our smiles were huge, genuine, goofy. Both of our tongues purposefully stuck out the corners of our mouths, making us look like eight-year-olds posing for "the funny-face picture."

Jack laughed at it. "It's so perfect. I love it." He moved the box to the floor so he could reach out to hug me. I hugged him in return.

"There's also something else I want to tell you," I said to him, looking down to my wringing hands.

"Sure, anything." He smiled, still excited about his gifts.

"I...I think it's time. I want Jesus to be in me, and I want to accept HIS gift this Christmas."

Jack didn't look startled at all. Instead he just took my hand in his and said, "Then you know what to pray. Do you want me to pray with you?"

A tear escaped my eye. I felt overwhelmed, but at the same time overjoyed. Why had I waited so long? The love of God was evident in this world! Why hadn't I seen it sooner? I guessed last night had just tipped me over the edge, what with the stars and the sky and the ocean...and even Kai.

Nodding, I clutched his hand for dear life. "Dear God, I'm really sorry. I've done some very bad things in my life, and I realize now that You love me anyway. And I just want to say..." I looked up at Jack for a moment, who nodded for me to go on. "...that I love You, too. I pray for Your forgiveness in my life, and for Your guidance in...in, um...making me a better servant for You and for everybody else." I paused. Suddenly I began to talk more like I were talking to Jack, except to my Father in Heaven. "You're really, really amazing, God. What You did for me, I'll never, ever understand, and I don't fully want to. I'm not complaining, because I know I can't ever be with You unless that sacrifice has been made. And it has, so I thank You. THANK YOU. You're awesome. In Jesus' name, amen."

"AMEN!" Jack shouted, his smile wider than any smile I'd seen on any man. "AAAMMMEEEENN!" He jumped off the couch and pulled me with him, hugging me tightly in his arms, rocking me back and forth. "Welcome to the Kingdom, Karen," he said in my ear. "It's awesome."

I was awestruck. I felt...good. My life had...a purpose. A purpose it had never had before. "I love you, Jack," I whispered into his ear. "Thank you for showing me God. I can't really thank you enough. I just...love you."

"Karen," his voice was quivering with tears. "I love you more than you can ever know."

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

A/N: Okay, I don't know about y'all, but my eyes were getting a little watery near the end, there! I really liked this chapter, so I hope y'all did, too. Please review! Love you guys!


	23. Eighteen

Eighteen

A/N: Let's just get on with it! Sorry for the long wait.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

On the day before my eighteenth birthday, I sat silently at my bedroom dresser staring thoughtfully at the duplicate of the picture I'd given Jack for Christmas. I took note of the happiness in our eyes and the laughter in our silly smiles. The photo was extremely close up because I had taken it myself with an outstretched arm, disposable camera in hand. Of course, for Jack, I'd taken it to town with me, enhanced it, de-red-eyed it, and just improved the overall quality of the picture. I'd also kept one like this for myself.

With a full mind, I gazed down at it as it lay on the surface of the dresser before me. Happy tears filled my eyes just at the memory of when the photo had been taken. The Harvest Festival had been so much fun this year. We had danced almost all day, and into the late of night, to the same songs, over and over again. "Limited DJ service," I laughed to myself.

Oh, I'd danced with everybody that day. Kai, Jack, Cliff, Harris, Jeff, Mayor Thomas, Doug Green, even Gray; to fast songs, slow songs, dumb songs, good songs... I think I only sat out once or twice so I could eat and take off my shoes.

Kai had given me a pretty "diamond" broach to wear with my swoopy-collared top that day. And then when we had gotten home and prepared to part at his bedroom door, he'd told me, as he regularly did, that I'd looked beautiful that day...and then he'd kissed me, as he regularly did, lengthily, lovelily, lustfully.

He'd done that for me earlier tonight...just a few minutes earlier. I looked up from my picture to gaze out my window at the dark night sky, full of stars, void of clouds, and recalled. "You look pretty today," he'd said, twirling a strand of my hair around a pair of his fingers. "I like the curls."

"Thanks," I'd told him with a laugh. "They're Ann's, I guess you could say. I borrowed her curling iron."

He'd laughed a little and continued to finger my hair, staring deep into my eyes. I'd blinked a few times with heavy eyelids. Suppressing a yawn, I had told him, "I think I'm going to bed." Then I'd leaned toward him with the intention of pecking a short kiss onto his lips.

But when I had just started to pull away, he'd pulled me in. Startled at first, I'd braced myself against him, and even after a few seconds I'd found it hard to relax. Finally I'd just stopped kissing him back, and he'd pulled away, confused. "What's wrong?" he'd asked, innocent and oblivious.

"Nothing," I'd answered in a gut-wrenching lie. "Good night."

A tear escaped the corner of my eye and rolled down my cheek, dripping reluctantly off my jaw. I looked back down at the photograph. More tears came like waterwork. I tried to scoop them away as they came.

With whom was my heart?

I gently folded my arms in front of me, resting them atop the desk before me, laying my head upon them. With a heavy mind and a heavy heart, my voice as faint and weak as a whisper carried by the breeze, I prayed to God:

"Oh, Lord, what's happening to me? _Why_ is this happening to me?

"Lord, I still don't know You all that well, but I do know this: that You know me better than I know myself. You know the number of hairs on my head, the distinct sound of my voice, the meaning of my dancing...the rhythm of my heart, even when it skips a beat...

"...That normally happens when I'm around Kai, You know. He's so...warm, Lord. He knows me. He knows just the way to hold me, the way I want him to hold me, and that always depends on the occasion. It's almost like he knows my thoughts just by looking hard enough into my eyes... Such pretty eyes he has, Lord. It's no wonder to me that they were specially created, created by You. How much time did You spend on them, God? How did You make them as deep as they are, make them shimmer as they do?

"And _why_, Lord, **_why_** would You make them like that if they were not meant to make me fall in love!"

I let out a quiet sob, turning my face down into my folded arms. My voice came muffled.

"Why, Lord, why? Why would You...draw me toward Kai, only to become trapped between him and Jack?

"I don't even know this myself, so perhaps You may please _tell_ me, Father, because of Your great knowledge of...me:

"With whom is my heart?"

Releasing another gentle sob, I sniffled quietly and turned my head sideways again. "Lord, when I am with Jack, I am with a friend. A friend who cares, who loves, who smiles, who sings, whose unbelievable faith can move a mountain, change this village. But he's so close a friend, so dear a friend that I worry: a friend he may no longer be.

"Lord God, _WITH WHOM IS MY HEART?_

"I'm feeling things, Lord, that I've never really felt before, not even with Kai. Not even with Kai! I feel like I'm truly safe, truly not alone when I'm with Jack. I feel at peace, while at the same time my stomach flutters with...

"Dear Lord, what _is_ it that flutters in my stomach? Is it desire? Is it temptation? Is it lust? Or is it _love_?" I heaved a large, unsatisfying breath.

I sat up and wiped away my tears, sniffling and whimpering and hiccuping as the aftermath of a good cry occurred. Oh, but the cry did not feel good. I felt broken, torn, confused, lost, overwhelmed. The beating of my heart felt slow, as if it were hesitating, wondering if, how, and why it should throb yet again.

"**_WITH WHOM IS MY HEART?_**" I cried out for the third time. Was He listening to me? Where was my answer?

A knock at the door startled me. I jumped up and ran to the bathroom to grab a towel, calling, "Hold on!" to whomever was waiting for me outside. I swept the terrycloth over my face, leaving it stained with eye makeup. I looked up at the mirror to see my puffy red eyes and pink nose. After quickly rinsing my face with water from the sink I called, "Who is it?"

"Karen? It's me," said Ann's voice from the opposite side of the door.

I was glad inside and answered, "Come in," while exiting the bathroom.

Ann entered cautiously, immediately noticing that I had been crying. "Karen," she said, almost inaudibly. "What's the matter? Are you all right? Is it Kai?"

I sank onto my bed, falling back so that my feet dangled toward the floor. "I don't know, Ann!" I restrained another series of sobs, wiping away the lingering mascara still smudged on my face with the towel I clutched in my hand.

My friend sat down next to me on the bed and fingered my hair. "Tell me what's wrong," she said in a soothing tone of voice.

So I told her. I told her everything and made her pinky promise never to tell another soul. It didn't look like she had been that surprised to hear, and _that _surprised _me._ "Why aren't you surprised?" I asked her.

She shrugged. "Because I know you. And I know Kai, and I also know Jack. It only makes sense."

"Well..." I sniffed. "What do you think I should do? Talk to Jack?"

"No!"

"Talk to Kai?"

"No!"

"Why not Kai?"

"Because he wouldn't understand. He'd just jump to conclusions and think you're cheating on him with Jack."

"No!" I protested. "He knows I would never do that."

"Well, then, he'll think that you're thinking about Jack when you should be thinking about him."

"Well, I can't just go on not telling him, can I? There'll just be this big, fat elephant in the room all the time...I can't keep a secret from him! It's not right. He needs to know. And there's also something else he needs to know." I paused, swallowing hard. "And you need to know it, too."

Ann looked at me like she was expecting me to continue right away. When I didn't, she prodded. "Karen? Karen, what is it?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just scared that you will hate me and not want to be my friend anymore, much less my best friend."

"Karen, no! Nothing would make me do that!"

I thought about making her swear, but didn't want to trick her. It was only fair to both of us just to come out with it. I was going to tell her about me and God.

"Karen?"

"It's about...it's about..." I stammered nervously. "It's about God."

She looked unsurprised, again. "What about God?"

"He's _my_ God now." I stared at her, and she stared back. "I'm a Christian now, Ann. I have faith in something more than...a fairy tale."

Ann stood. I stood with her. She started to walk toward the door, wordless. I couldn't find the words to stop her. What could I say? "Wait, Ann, come back"? That wouldn't have phased her.

The door closed behind her, and I collapsed onto the floor, a mess of sobs and tears and a feeling of rejection I hadn't felt since my dateless Harvest Festival as a girl. "God!" I cried out, prostrate on the carpet, tears streaming down the sides of my face. "God, what the heck are You doing?"

There was no booming voice from Heaven, no invisible pair of arms to pick me up, and certainly no angel to tell me what was happening and why.

I felt tired of crying, but my tears flowed from a bottomless well of emotions. Again, I felt torn and broken, and thinking about my brokenness only made me want to cry more. So cry I did, and sigh I did, and shiver I did. I lay on my floor, desperately trying not to rouse attention from anyone downstairs but at the same time subconsciously wanting Jack by my side.

Tomorrow I would turn eighteen. My year to wed had passed me by in a flash, and now...Now I knew not to whom my heart belonged.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Come morning, I went to look for Cliff. He was supposed to be staying in the guest bedroom with Kai, but he was never there, it seemed. So I looked for him and looked for him, until I finally spotted a still brown figure at the beach, his feet dangling over the edge of the dock.

Before approaching, I gazed at the sun for an instant and took note that its climb was just beginning. True, I'd missed the actual sunrise, but it could not have been past eight in the morning. What was Cliff doing out here so early?

As I walked toward the dock, I called out his name, and he turned his head to match my voice with my person. "Hey, birthday girl!"

I halted and cocked my head to the side before even stepping onto the wooden pier. I'd forgotten until now. Eighteen years old...

"Karen, you okay?" he asked me considerately.

I walked out onto the dock until seating myself beside him. Curling my legs up so my chin rested lightly on my knees, I shivered in the cold. I was thinking how I should have put on my wool coat instead of a windjacket when I finally answered, "Not really. Ann's mad at me."

"Why?" His voice was soft and sweet.

My eyes filled with tears, but I absolutely refused to let them escape. I was sick of tears, sick of crying. "I told her about...you know. About how I'm a Christian now."

Cliff nodded calmly. "She's mad at me, too."

I looked at him.

"I confronted her about the 'goddess' yesterday. We were here, at the beach, and she started saying stuff about her, so I decided to tell her the truth...the truth that the goddess is false and that Jesus is real, and there's no other way but Him."

"What did she do?"

"Well, of course, her being Ann, I expected her to yell and shout and maybe take a swing at me, but...she just walked away. She didn't say a word."

I nodded. She had done that to me, too. After a full minute of silence, but for the soft splash of the waves and the peaceful calls of nearby seagulls, I asked him, "What should we do?"

Cliff was silent. I could have sworn I saw water in his shady eyes, and a lonely tear traveling down the side of his face, but I said nothing. Instead I just leaned up against him and rested my sad head on his left shoulder.

"Maybe Jack can help us," I said, moving in an implication we should go to his house.

Cliff drew in a quick breath. "I'm sure he could, but I think he's doing something this morning."

Expecting further explanation, I gave my cousin a strange look when none came.

"He told me he may be spending time in the mountains today. He's saving up for a wooden deck, you know, to go outside the farmhouse, and there's a lot of...herbs and...stuff to collect up there. And he can sell them. For money. You know?"

I smiled at Cliff. "What are you up to?" I said knowingly. There had to be something. Why else would Cliff be acting so mysterious and downright shady?

"Nothing! Karen! Why would you think I was up to something?" He was holding back a smile, I could tell. His light brown eyes glittered secretively. Despite the trouble with Ann, he acted childish, giddy even.

I shook my head with a grin, facing the ocean. It was very cold, but it wasn't snowing today. I guessed we'd seen the last of the snow for this year, because tomorrow was the last day of winter, and spring would be upon us before we knew it. However, icicles hung still from every position possible, and our breaths were visible in the thin, icy air. I felt my nose go numb and decided we should get somewhere indoors.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I spent the rest of that morning at the bakery with Cliff. Hardly anybody was anywhere to be found. Elli wasn't there, surprisingly, nor was Popuri at the flower shop. Maria wasn't at the library or the church, and I couldn't find Ann at the Ranch. Cliff wouldn't allow me to search for Jack, not that I wanted to go trekking around on the mountain in the freezing cold weather. I couldn't even locate Kai! He wasn't even in the wine cellar.

The afternoon was spent at the vineyard, where my mother was not found. _That _was strange. Mother never left! Where could she have gone?

Since there were no friends around, Cliff and I spent the rest of the day, until dinner time, watching a Robin Williams movie marathon on television, eating multiple bags of popcorn and several pizzas, and alternatively napping on the couch. Finally, around six-thirty, during _Patch Adams_, I asked my cousin, "Okay, so we've been eating all day, but _I've_ still got plenty of room for dinner." I stood up from my lounging position on the sofa. "What do you want? Of course we've got pizza, but we've been eating that all day, and - "

"You know what?" Cliff suddenly interrupted, jumping up from his seat and facing me.

I giggled. "What?"

"Dinner at Jack's might be cool."

With an odd expression spread over my gently smiling face, I answered slowly, "Okay. But I..." I hesitated, thinking my statement over in my head. "...I'd like to find Kai. I haven't seen him all day, and..."

"Don't worry," Cliff said.

"What?"

"Just...go get dressed."

"But I'm already dressed!" I spread my arms a little and looked down at my cute, casual blue tracksuit.

"And you look...cute. But it's too...um..."

"Cold?"

"No, just..." My cousin was quiet for a few seconds. "Uh, didn't you buy a new s-s-skirt the other day?"

"Cliff?" I laughed. "Why are you so jumpy? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He was struggling to compose himself. There was a huge smile tugging at his lips, but he was obviously trying desperately to restrain it. He looked at me like he was expecting me to say something.

"What?"

"The skirt?"

"I bought one like a month ago," I said, my words long and slow.

"Well, have I seen it?"

"I don't think so."

"Why don't you wear it to Jack's?"

"Cliff!"

"What?"

"Why?"

"Because I think it will be pretty! Just wear it! I wanna see it!"

"It's so cold outside though!"

"But it's warm at Jack's!"

"Cliff!"

"What?"

"What's going on?"

"Nothing, Karen!" He grabbed me gently by the arms, using both hands, and maneuvered me in the direction of the staircase. "Now go up there and put it on!"

"You want the boots, too?" I said jokingly, though confused, as I began my slow climb up the stairs.

He didn't really get it. "Yes, yes. Just go! And do your hair, too."

I turned to playfully scowl at him before entering my room, fingering my sloppy mess of updone hair.

He waved his hands as if to shoo me away like a cat on the front porch. "Go!" he urged.

I shook my head at him in confusion and closed the door behind me.

As I pressed the button to begin heating up my straigtening iron, I paused in the start of my process of getting ready. Should I straighten my hair? Strangely, I remembered that Kai had liked my curls yesterday. I remembered the kiss he had given me, and though I had been uncomfortable then, I now longed for the taste of his lips. I hadn't seen him all day...

Until now, I hadn't truly realized the influence Kai had on my daily life. I missed him. Truly, deeply missed him.

Curls would look better with my skirt outfit anyway. With a new purpose for the evening, I unplugged the straightening iron and instead started up the still unreturned curling iron Ann had lent me.

After gingerly applying an exfoliating masque to my face, I had nothing to do until the iron was finished heating. As the masque settled into my skin, I lay back on my bed, looking up at the ceiling, my hands beneath my neck, fingers entwined.

I pondered my tears last night. I had cried so hard. Why? Because of two different feelings for two different people. And now, lying there on my bed, I couldn't help but think the whole situation over again.

Was it betrayal to feel this way about Jack? Adultery? Or is that only if you're married?

I sighed. Maybe it wasn't so smart to think of all of it again. Not before dinner with Jack and Cliff, and maybe Kai. I decided to myself that I would have fun tonight. I would smile and laugh and act as though nothing was wrong. Nothing.

Where could Kai be? He normally told me when he was going somewhere, and usually invited me to come with him. But he hadn't today...Was something going on?

After eight minutes of deep thought, I got up, washed my face, and began the tedious work of hair-doing. Into every curl was placed a moment of thoughtfulness, mostly for Kai, but I also found myself wanting, for once, to look pretty for Jack. Corny, cliche, but, shamefully true.

Finally it was done, and I moved on to make up. Very little eyeshadow, with a little shimmer, and a sizable quantity of blush, because my face was so pale due to the cold weather. Black eyeliner, soft lipliner, a peachy lip glaze because my lips were already so bright, again due to the cold. Mascara was applied until my eyelashes were thick, black, long, and luscious.

Then came the clothes. My skirt had a fitted waist and then flowed down around my knees; it's design was slenderizing and absolutely adorable. To match the very thin diagonal stripes of soft baby pink and dark brown on the skirt, I had nothing else to choose but a sleeveless pink top with strips of the fabric hanging down from my shoulders a few inches. I was also very excited to wear my new short pink boots, with fur lining the top.

What could I wear for a jacket? It was freezing outside...just a stylish sweater wouldn't do. If only I had one of those fur-lined coats everyone on the mainland was wearing now. But I didn't, so I donned an old pullover and wore a denim jacket over it.

Lastly, I put on my jewelry. Pink rhinestone studs for my ears, a simple pink piece of fabric wrapped around my neck like a choker with a small, darling prism dangling from it, my usual finger jewelry, and finally, several metal rings around my right wrist. I contemplated wearing a watch, but I had yet to buy a cute band for the one I had, so I decided against it, leaving my left wrist bare. Oh, well.

I was slightly surprised when I saw Cliff waiting downstairs, all dressed up in nice jeans (he must have borrowed them from Jack), a thick brown belt, a casual button down shirt, hanging open over a tee shirt or something, Doc Martins on his feet (ok, he _must_ have borrowed them from Jack), wrapped in a warm-looking suade jacket. I knew the jacket, at least, belonged to him. He'd gotten it from Ann and me as a Christmas present. As I looked Cliff over approvingly, he spun slowly to let me see the entirety of his gorgeousness.

"Wow, Cliff!" I said, releasing a radiant, happy grin. "You look really nice!"

"As do you," he replied sweetly, motioning for me to join him at his side. "I knew the skirt would look nice."

I laughed, tucking my arm through his as we walked across the living room and out the door. Cliff flipped off the light switch as we exited. "So will there be a nice little birthday dinner for me at Jack's?" I asked my cousin, stepping with him in unison away from the vineyard, toward the crossroads at a quick, steady pace.

His ever-mischeivous eyes flickered with hidden knowledge, and I knew Ann would have swooned had she been looking at him now as I was, looking all handsome and mysterious. "Maybe," he said childishly.

"You're so weird," I told him kiddingly.

He simply shrugged off the playful comment and walked with a little more pep in his step until we reached Jack's front door four or five minutes later. Cliff knocked politely.

No response came.

I furrowed my brow, at first wondering why nobody was answering, and then suddenly remembering I'd forgotten Kai despite my constant thought of him. "Cliff, we forgot Kai!" I squeaked.

Cliff was ignoring me, peeking in the slightly frosted front window with a weird, confused look on his face. He rapped on the window a few times. The rhythm of his taps strangely resembled the beat of Jingle Bells.

Finally, after several more silly gestures of unnecessary politeness, I said with force behind my voice, "Oh, stop it, Cliff, let's just go inside, you goob!"

With that, I thrust the door open and was immediately startled by a loud chorus of, **_"SURPRISE!"_**

I staggered and fell back against Cliff, who looked down at me and smiled. I giggled as I looked ahead at the roomful of Flowerbud villagers, all here to celebrate my birthday. Cliff bounced me back on to my feet and right into Kai's arms. As the townspeople cheered and laughed boisterously, my boyfriend lifted me off my feet and spun me swiftly around.

And finally, to the amusement of our audience, his lips met mine in the kiss I'd been longing for all evening. I smiled throughout the duration of the kiss, and though it lasted no longer than five or six seconds, it was enough to make my smile last for hours longer. About midway through the kiss, the guests had gone back to whatever they'd been doing before.

It was a surprise to both of us that when we parted, I asked, "Where's Jack?" Immediately I bit my lip, but Kai's smile faded only for an instant before returning full-force.

"Aw, that rascal's somewhere around here. You can probably find him over by the punch bowl servin' drinks," he told me.

I looked into his eyes and wanted to kiss him again. He looked down at me with affection in his deep brown eyes. He took the back of my head with his hand, slightly stroking my hair with his fingers. "Happy birthday," he murmured, his voice low, soft, and sweeter than anything I'd ever heard. I stood taller to kiss his lips, and I felt him ease up in relief.

"Thank you," I said to him.

Suddenly, my hand was grabbed, and I was being dragged outside by my arm. "Ann," I said in somewhat disbelief when we were out the door.

She had been crying earlier, but it was well-hidden behind some makeup. I could only tell because I'm her best friend and I know her like I know myself. "Karen, I can't stand being mad at you. Not on your birthday, not ever." Her voice was thick with emotion, and a tear, probably a leftover, rolled quickly down the side of her face. She wiped at it before it could ruin her eyeliner. "I still don't know what to think of this whole Christian thing, but I kind of think it's growing on me. I mean, I can tolerate it. I just can't...not be your best friend." She covered her mouth with her hand, wiping at her tears.

I immediately stepped forward to wrap her in my arms. "You're not not my best friend," I assured her. "I know it's kind of a hard thing to go through, this whole God thing, but it'll all come out just fine, and I don't want to have to lose you as my friend just because I'm a Christian now."

She looked at me.

"But that doesn't mean I'm giving it up," I corrected my misleading structure of dialogue.

Ann nodded. "You shouldn't have to."

I hugged her again. "I love you," I murmured.

"I love you, too," she answered.

oOoOoOoOoOo

A few minutes later, I found Jack, just as Kai had said, at the food table, serving the refreshments. He saw me coming toward him with a huge smile on my face, dropped the punch ladel, and opened his arms wide so I could jump into them in the biggest hug ever. "Jack!" I cried over the blaring of the music. "Was this all your idea?"

"Well, me and Cliff and Kai all thought of it together." That was his way of saying yes, yes, it was his idea. "Just wait...There's gonna be dancing, soon as Kai and Cliff get off their bums and move the sofa and stuff. I even cleaned the floor." He grinned.

And it pained me, because I found myself wanting to kiss him, too. "Thanks, Jack, this really means a lot."

He looked into my eyes like he had something to say, but he remained silent. "Happy birthday, Karen," he said.

I smiled in reply.

The night went on with nothing but fun, dancing, laughter, and food. It was a nice way to end the year, seeing as how tomorrow was New Year's Eve.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

Author's note: Ok, that's the end of this chapter. Sorry, I've just been really busy with school. And last week, we had three basketball games, and I had to cheer at all of them! Yeah, I still haven't finished my math homework...I'll, um...get around to that. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Things are gonna get pretty dramatic next time, at least I hope so.


	24. Happy New Year

Happy New Year

A/N: I'm doing this on my mom's laptop, and it actually has MS Word, so it's a whole lot easier…I'm trying to stay away from the thesaurus, though, I really am. It feels like cheating! Ha, ha.

Special thanks go to Red Sonic, for giving me the support I needed to get this chapter up. Y'all are just going to kill me when you read this, but I don't want you to freak out. You guys have been freaking out with every chapter, but the story's not over yet, so just take a deep breath and calm down!

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

"It's New Year's Eve today," Cliff said to me from his seat on the living room sofa.

It was nearly noon, and I had just awoken. Descending the stairs for the first time this morning, I squinted my sleepy eyes so as to get a clearer view of my cousin. "Yeah," I said in reply.

"So…" he said, as though the answer he was fishing for was quite obvious.

"So what?" I asked, ending my descent and wearily walking over to sit beside him on the couch. The cushions welcomed me warmly, and I hummed in satisfaction.

"So are we going to have a party?" Cliff smiled that slightly lopsided smile.

"You're silly," I told him matter-of-factly, turning my head right so I could look him in the eyes. "We just had a party last night."

"Oh, yeah, someone's surprise birthday party, I remember."

I giggled, despite the lack of funniness in his little joke, and snuggled up next to him, tucking my flannel-clad legs up beside us and curling into a cozy little ball. "Thank you, Cliff," I said, my voice muffled through the blanket he had pulled up over me, which I took in my curled hands. "It was the best birthday party ever."

"Were you surprised?"

"I was completely surprised." I tilted my head back to smile at him.

He smiled back and kissed the top of my head sweetly. "So where's lover boy?" he asked me, a trace of childishness in his voice.

"I don't know," was my answer. "Probably in the wine cellar. He gets up early now to do all that, so he has more free time in the day."

"Yes, I know. I do it, too."

I hummed thoughtfully. "You're right. This time of morning…er, afternoon…you're normally over at the Green Ranch. Why are you here today?"

"I figured…Oh, never mind."

"Cliff."

"Yes?"

"You know. Why are you here and not visiting with Ann?"

"Well, I just figured I should give her some space. I'm always over there nowadays."

I rolled my eyes a little. He said nowadays like it hadn't always been like this. "You realize she's going to take your little absence the wrong way."

"No. There's nothing to take the wrong way."

"Exactly. Normally, there is something."

"Karen."

"Yes?"

"That makes no sense."

"Yes, it does. You're normally over there, so it's going to seem a little weird when you're not. She's going to see it like you're tired of hanging out with her, or that you don't like her anymore, or that you don't care about her anymore, or that you don't ever want to hang out with her again, or…"

"All right, I get it."

I waited for him to move, to stand up, to go to the bedroom he shared with Kai and get ready to go. He didn't. "Cliff!"

"Yes?"

"Cliff!"

"What?"

I sat up and looked at him hard in the eye. "I know…you know…we both know that you like her. And I think we've both got a pretty good idea that she likes you, too."

"What is this, seventh grade?"

"No! It's life."

"No, it's immature."

I settled back into the left side of his body. He made a good point. "I get you, Cliff, and I know it shouldn't be this way. But it is. Ann doesn't want it this way either, but when you get attached to a boy…er, um, a man…you get attached to him. She has gotten attached to you. Don't push her away."

"I'm not!" he rebutted quickly.

"I know that, but she doesn't."

Cliff sighed and let his head fall against the back of the couch. "That's stupid."

I looked up at him. "Welcome to girl world."

We sat in silence for a few seconds, until Cliff asked, "How do I know if she'll take it the wrong way?"

"She just will, unless the reason for your absence is blatantly clarified."

"That's just so stupid!" he complained

"Oh, Cliff, stop whining. Kai knows how to deal with it. You can figure it out; it just takes practice. In fact, you could probably ask Kai about it. He dated Ann before me."

"I know. Where is he?"

"Haven't we already had this conversation?"

Our banter was interrupted by the rackety opening of the front door. Kai walked in, face flushed pink, rubbing his hands together.

Cliff smiled at him welcomingly. "Well, speak of the-"

Kai interrupted, "You guys have to come take a look at this."

My cousin and I looked at each other and then quickly stood up. Grabbing our coats from the rack on the way out the door, we followed Kai out to our small grove of "wine trees." The air was cold, and I kept close to Cliff for warmth. When we arrived at the grove, my heart nearly stopped in surprise.

"Oh, my goodness," I stammered, my warm breath visible in the chill air. I crossed my arms in the cold and stared down at the unusual sight before me.

"What?" Cliff asked.

"Look at this." Kai knelt down by the rows that had been re-tilled after fall's last harvest, where Mother had planted Pappy's seeds.

All in their perfect positions, rows of tree sprouts were growing up from the ground. There was only about a centimeter to each of them, but…they were growing. They had actually survived the winter and were _growing._

"Isn't that just the weirdest thing?" Kai said, smiling in his disbelief.

"They made it," I stated, though it was obvious. I didn't know if Cliff understood, since he hadn't grown up on a vineyard or anything. "I can't believe it."

"They're Pappy's seeds. Your mother planted them just after the final autumn harvest." Kai breathed onto his cold hands. "And they made it. I wonder if they'll make it until fall."

"They will," Cliff said. "If they can make it through such a snowy winter as we've had, then certainly they can make it through a couple of easy seasons, right?"

"Well, it's only logical," I agreed. "It's just so weird that they've made it. Have you shown Daddy or Mother?" I asked Kai.

He nodded. "Your dad freaked out. He went straight to Duke's to ask him about it. The two of them will probably be back any minute. Your mom went with him, it looked like, but she might have split up to talk to the Mayor about it. They're just positive that this year's harvest will be like a rekindling of your grandmother's."

"Oh, wouldn't that just be amazing?" I said wistfully. "Let's show Jack."

Kai looked at Cliff, and Cliff looked at me.

I repeated myself, "Let's show Jack. I'm going to get dressed. You guys don't have to come get him, I guess, but stay here and then after, we can all go do something."

Hesitating slightly, Cliff requested, "Could you get Ann while you're at it?"

I smiled, and Kai playfully punched him on the shoulder. "Sure. I'll be back in a few minutes."

oOoOoOoOoOo

"That's so awesome."

"I don't believe it! How did this happen?"

"We have no idea," I answered Ann.

"What a blessing, right?" Cliff was visibly excited.

"Absolutely," Duke, who had arrived moments ago with Dad, agreed wholeheartedly. "That's unbelievable."

By now, we were all sure that this was a sign. This was a sign that meant this year's harvest would put all the past years' to rest. This year's harvest was going to be the best one since Grandmother's time. The vineyard was finally going to get back up on its feet. We were going to be okay again.

oOoOoOoOoOo

Kai, Jack, Cliff, Ann, and I sat together at the bakery half an hour later. Of course, by this time, everybody in the village had at least heard about what came to be known as the "Vineyard Miracle." Some stopped by to take a look for themselves, and others simply celebrated the supposed promise of a bountiful harvest.

"So what are we doing tonight?" Elli asked us, placing our orders in front of us. Very berry pie, hot cocoa, sandwiches, and baked potatoes steamed before us. "I'm getting bored of the bar every year." Elli joined us at the round table, pulling up a chair for herself.

"Well, my place is still a wreck from last night," Jack said, throwing a playful wink in my direction. "But I'd be happy to come someplace else. My first New Year's Eve in Flowerbud."

I smiled at Jack. It was so hard to believe he'd been here for almost an entire year.

"We could meet up here," Elli offered, placing her elbow on the tabletop so she could rest her chin upon her hand. "I'd have to ask Jeff and Granny, but I'm sure it'd be fine. We could buy some champagne from Duke, and Jeff could make us some sweet apple cider, and we could just make a night of it."

"Sounds like a blast to me." Jack smiled at her warmly. She blushed slightly in the light of his tender brown eyes.

A jolt of envy shot discomfortingly through my veins. I closed my eyes tight for a second to force the thought from my mind.

"We can maybe borrow the TV from the flower shop next door, because ours doesn't get the mainland stations, so we can watch the ball drop and everything," Elli suggested.

"That would be fun!" Ann exclaimed.

We discussed tonight's possibilities for a little while longer, and decided to get back to our homes. We all had things to do. My chores were still undone, and I needed some quality time with Kai, it seemed.

As we exited the bakery, Jack grabbed my arm and said, "Karen, can I talk to you?"

"Yeah, sure," I responded, motioning for Kai to go on, and I'd catch up. I noticed Cliff walking with Ann back to the Ranch and couldn't contain a smirk. "What's up?" I asked.

"Popuri accepted salvation this morning."

"Oh, my gosh, that's awesome!"

"I know, it really is."

"Where? At your place?"

"No, she was with Elli."

"What?"

"They were talking about it together, and they both committed to Christ. They knew the prayer from the Bible studies, and they prayed it. Isn't that amazing?"

"Yes! Yes, that's awesome!"

"The only thing is that Popuri is terrified her mother will freak out. Her father has already accepted, as you know, and Lillia was angry about that, as you know. They've been able to work it out, but Popuri is still very scared about it. Her mother means a lot to her."

"Of course. So Lillia doesn't know yet about Popuri?"

"Right."

"Thanks for telling me."

"No problem." Jack smiled.

He was so cute. I smiled in return and started to walk back into the bakery to talk to Elli.

"Oh, and Karen?" he said suddenly, his voice softer, quieter than before.

"Yeah?" I spun around to face him.

He looked away, and then down at his feet. "Uh…nothing. It was nothing." He smiled tentatively. "Go talk to the girls."

oOoOoOoOoOo

I got together with both Elli and Popuri at the Flower Shop, and we talked.

Popuri fell back onto her bed, visibly worried. "I know I should tell her, but I can't help being afraid."

"We know," Elli assured her. "I'm sure God will open up some kind of opportunity for you."

"Yeah, don't stress about it, Popuri." I sat next to her thin frame, sprawled out across the bed. "I haven't told my parents about it either," I confessed.

"Yes, but that's different." Popuri was right. Her mother was an active member of the Flowerbud Church of the Goddess, and my parents rarely attended. Popuri's mom had grown up with belief in the goddess, and my parents simply tolerated it.

The three of us scooted closer, and Elli began to pray. She had been saved just today, but her request was bold and her words were certain. "Lord God, You are the Master of heaven and earth. Become the master of this village, and lead us all to follow You. Give Popuri and her father faith and perseverance, that their example may lead Lillia to see Your light. Give them wisdom, Lord, and open up an opportunity for Popuri to share with her mother her newfound faith. Thank You for the blood of Your only Son, and the salvation we have through His suffering. Draw us nearer to You with every day."

"Yes, Lord." Though Popuri's voice was less confident, I could see that she was moved by Elli's simple prayer.

I prayed on. "Lord Jesus, we give You this day and pray that You would use it for the benefit of Your Kingdom. I pray that You would help us to learn more about You so that we know the things to pray for. I pray that, in Your good time, this town would come to see Your light and believe in You. Give us patience, until then, Lord. Solidify our faith and relieve us of our fears in Jesus' name."

Popuri was audibly humbled. Her voice shook slightly as she softly prayed, "Jesus, give me and my father strength. Help us to do what You want us to. We love You and thank You for the…for the, um…blessings and bounty You have granted us. Help us to use them for the growth of Your Kingdom in this very misled village. Amen, in the name of Your Son Jesus."

"Amen," Elli and I echoed.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I had been given the responsibility of bringing glasses for the cider and sour cream and onion dip for the chips Popuri would bring, for the party at the bakery. So I boxed up a dozen delicate champagne glasses, retrieved from the utmost cabinet in the kitchen, fetched the last two and a half containers of dip from the pantry, grabbed my purse from the coffee table, and headed out the front door. Cliff and Kai were messing around at Jack's, doing guy things, I supposed, so I went ahead and left without them. The small party wasn't supposed to officially begin until six, and I was about half an hour early, but I figured it would be all right just to hang out with the girls for a bit.

Indeed, when I arrived, I discovered word had reached around, and the four other girls my age were already there at the bakery, seated on and around a couch that had been dragged out from the room Elli shared with Granny Ellen. "Oh, good, Karen's here," Ann said.

"Did I miss all the good girl talk?" I asked, carefully stepping over to the counter to place the box of glasses upon it. Dropping the dip on the countertop, also, I walked over to the group and sat on the hardwood floor beside Maria.

Elli, perched playfully atop the back of the couch, leaning against the wall behind her, answered, "Oh, no, we've barely even started. We were just kind of playing with ideas for the Flower Festival in a few weeks."

"Doesn't it seem like yesterday when Karen won the crown?" Popuri sighed wistfully. "And we were all in our pretty gowns…"

Elli slid down to the cushions of the sofa. "Isn't it sad we only have a few more years to compete?"

"Well, not exactly," Maria said, with knowledge in her tone of voice. "If we all don't get married, like, really soon and have a daughter, then who else is there to run for queen?"

"What's taking us so long?" Ann laughed jokingly. "My mother was married on her seventeenth birthday."

"All of ours were married when they were seventeen," Maria confirmed knowingly. "That's the way it was supposed to be."

I sighed. "I guess we've killed the tradition. Look at me! I'm eighteen now!"

"Well, that's ok. The rest of us still have some time left," Elli giggled.

"Not me…" Popuri frowned. "My birthday is coming up really soon."

"Maybe Gray will ask you before then?" Ann said hopefully.

"No," Popuri moaned sadly. "I don't think he's even bought a blue feather. And he hasn't even attempted to court me. I'm beginning to think all these ideas that he liked me were all in my head."

"NO!" the other four of us exclaimed.

"Are you kidding?" Ann inquired. "He's like in love with you. I would know! He keeps a picture of you in his wallet and everything."

"Really?" Popuri's eyes lit with fragile hope.

"Of course!" Ann promised.

"And it's ok. This whole get-married-at-seventeen thing is stupid," Elli snorted.

"I don't think it's stupid. Just…hard." Maria adjusted her long, low black ponytail with a wishful, sighing breath.

"I agree. It's not stupid, but it's not mandatory. It's already passed me by, and I'm going to try not to worry about it."

"Good for you, Karen," Elli said. "All this _does_ make me wish my mom was here, though."

"As it only should," Maria assured her. "My mother does practically everything for me when it comes to this stuff…She's even set up a dinner for me and Harris next week."

"Really?" Popuri burst. "Like a date? Oh, Maria!"

"Yay!" Elli squealed. "Aren't you excited?"

Maria didn't look exactly thrilled. "Well, the fact that my mother did the whole thing is kind of…"

"But, Maria, come on, it's a date!"

"You're lucky your mom does stuff like that for you," Ann sighed. "I'm pretty sure I turned out the way I did because I grew up without a mother…I'm also pretty sure that's the reason that I've only had one real relationship, and it turned out to be a bust."

"Don't worry about it, Ann," I told her, though the instruction was directed at everybody. "I mean, come on. Girls on the mainland get married when they're like…twenty-five or even thirty."

We sat in silence for a few seconds until we each shuddered. "Ew!" Popuri declared. "That seems so _old_!"

"And at least you've had _one_ relationship, Ann." Elli sat back on the couch, her eyes turning temporarily distant. "Look at me. I've never really even had a real date."

"But you're always the first to be asked to all the festivals," Maria reminded her. "I've never had any kind of boyfriend and I only have a date to the festivals sometimes, generally because I'm the last pick."

Popuri let out a disgusted snort. "At least you haven't been obsessed with the same guy for a whole year without any sort of progress. Gray barely speaks to me."

"Not true!" I protested.

The four girls looked to me without speaking for a moment. Finally Popuri said, with a touch of playfulness in her voice, "Shut up, Karen, you're the one with the awesome boyfriend!"

The other girls laughed, and I giggled along. Elli spoke up, "Well, maybe we should listen to her more often…You know, for advice about guys. Haven't you and Kai been together for almost a whole year now?"

"Yeah…Well, I don't know, there wasn't really an official beginning…"

Elli cocked her head a little. "How did you guys start dating? I never really heard the story."

I didn't really want to tell the story. I glanced at Popuri and Ann; they were the only ones I had told about it.

After a few seconds of remembrance, I was ashamed to realize that my romantic relationship with Kai had begun with a moment of irresistible temptation. It had been on the beach, after the Sowing Festival, and he had kissed me, and I had not resisted. I had been weak; I'd known it then, and I knew it now.

"It's kind of weird," I stammered nervously. For a second, I was tempted to simply tell some bogus story. Then I remembered that Popuri, the only one other than Ann who knew the real story, had joined the kingdom of Christ today, and realized the example I would be setting. I didn't lie. "It's actually really stupid."

"Well, come on; tell us!"

"I…um, it's really…oh, it's so bad, I just…" I stuttered again and again, fumbling with the words in my head so that when they came out of my mouth they sounded like nonsense. My eyes began to water, and I didn't want to mess up my makeup, so I stared pleadingly in Popuri's direction.

The pink-haired beauty came to my rescue. "He kissed her on the beach!"

_More like we made out with nothing other than lust in our minds._ But the girls didn't really need to know that. They responded to Popuri's interruption with a chorus of, "Awww!"

"And it was nighttime," she went on, "after the Sowing Festival!"

"Oh, so that's when it started!" Elli said, thinking back. "When he asked you to go to the Sowing Festival with him!"

"That's so cute!" Elli and Maria cooed.

"Okay, well…" I stood, glancing at the grandfather clock behind the counter. "The boys will be here soon."

"Where have they been all this time?"

"Messin' around at Jack's," I told them. "I really don't know what they were doing."

The girls looked at each other mysteriously. It was obvious that they knew something I didn't know. Maria let out a giggle, and Popuri quickly shushed her.

"What's going on?" I said. "What are they doing? I know you all know."

"No, no!" Ann protested. "We really don't! At least, I don't!"

The girls looked at each other and nodded vigorously.

The entry door to the bakery opened swiftly, and in they walked: Jack, Cliff, and Kai, each looking comfortable in worn-in jeans, faded tee shirts, and cozy sweatshirts. The girls and I were dressed similarly. "Where's Gray?" was the first thing that was said, and it was from the lips of Jack. "I thought he would be here with y'all."

"Why?" Ann asked, stepping into Cliff's outstretched arms for a friendly hug.

"Well, he was with us, at Jack's," Cliff answered, holding her for a second longer than a normal hug would have been. "But he left a few minutes early. Guess he had to go and get something." And he cast a hinting wink at Popuri.

She gasped, and immediately the four of us girls rushed to her sides. "Oh, my gosh, he's going to ask you to be his girlfriend, I just know it!" Elli told her, smiling uncontrollably.

"I know what he's getting: it has to be flowers!"

"No, no," Ann corrected, "it's jewelry! It has to be! I bet you it's a necklace!"

Elli screamed, "OR A RING!"

The five of us jumped up and down in a circle, screaming and squealing like nobody's business. The boys covered their ears and looked at each other, rolling their eyes. I wondered exactly what Gray had up his sleeve…

He showed up about five minutes later, and we set up all the food on the counter. Elli flipped on the television, and we gathered around on and around the couch to watch, stuffing our mouths full of food all the while.

The hours passed like a holiday, and before we knew it, we were watching Dick Clark in Time Square in New York, USA. A plethora of stars flooded the camera lenses, most of them unbeknownst to us Flowerbud-villagers.

"Lindsay Lohan?" Ann squinted at the screen. "She can't be older than us!"

"Who?" Maria asked, naïve.

Jack laughed aloud, and I slugged him. "Teenage starlet," he explained.

Kai chuckled. "Boob job!" he declared.

"That and about thirty pounds of makeup!" Popuri added.

"It's 'cause she has freckles," Jack told us. "She was in this Disney movie when she was a kid…when we were all kids…and she played these twins who whose parents split when they were born and each took a twin with them. The twins meet at camp and-"

"Switch places?" Maria inquired.

Jack grinned. "That's right. It's called _The Parent Trap._ But it was a remake."

Maria nodded. "I read a book like that as a kid…"

The young librarian was interrupted by Popuri's shrill, high-pitched screams and squeals. "WHO IS THAT BEAUTIFUL GUY!" Excitedly, she pointed at the screen and leapt forward so that her body hung several inches before it.

Jack let out a small sigh at the gorgeous African American man on the screen. "He's an R&B slash rap singer. He goes by Usher. Sex idol of the decade."

Popuri's face visibly fell. "Oh. Well, God did a very good job on him."

I silently agreed with a smile.

Another half-hour rolled by, until the countdown clock on the bottom left corner of the screen read 30 seconds.

We were all on our feet, champagne glasses in hand, laughing and chatting, glancing at the TV every few seconds. I was giggling with Ann about some silly remark when the rest of the group began to count down loudly with the crowd in Time Square.

"Five! … four! … three! … two! … one! YAY-EAH!"

I turned to the right to give Kai a New Year's kiss and nearly shrieked at the sight before.

Kai, his dark hair naked of its usual bandana, knelt before me on one knee, arms outstretched, holding a tiny velvet box…In its silk white cushions sat a beautiful princess-cut, diamond engagement ring.

I clutched my face in disbelief and kept looking back and forth between the gorgeous stone and his gorgeous, smiling, loving face. My eyes watered until tears spilled from the corners and rolled down the sides of my face.

I could see the happiness in his eyes as he said those wonderful, terrible words:

"Karen Andréa Mundell…Will you marry me?"


	25. The Greatest Sacrifice

The Greatest Sacrifice

A/N: Oh, my, you guys are going to go nuts.

oOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

I heard the room go silent and knew that my friends had all turned to watch. They'd known this was coming. They'd all planned it together. And now it was happening.

The rare, yet traditional blue feather radiated prettily, positioned in his hand next to the glimmering diamond that winked up at me, set in silver. I felt my phalanges go numb and exhaled shakily. Why was my brain functioning so slowly? It had been near four seconds and I still didn't know whether I was happy or…

Of course I was happy! I was going to marry Kai! I was going to marry the sweetest, most charming, most handsome man in the world…

A little lost tear rolled from the corner of my left eye as a smile tugged at the corners of my mouth. "Oh, Kai! Oh, Kai, yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you! Yes, I'll marry you!"

The man's grin grew so big that I couldn't contain one of my own. I laughed aloud as he stood to wrap his arms around me and lift me off my feet. Throwing my arms around his neck, I cried and laughed and shivered and shook all at once as he squeezed me tightly and spun around once. I heard the cheering and clapping of my friends around us, as well as those of the people in Time Square on television who celebrated the New Year.

Finally I was back on my feet, standing close to my life partner, and he removed the ring from its seat in the silky white cushions of the velvet box. It was so beautiful I couldn't take my eyes off it as he took my left hand and slid it gently and slowly onto my ring finger. A perfect fit…This was just meant to be. He handed me the blue feather, and I clutched its stem in my fingers, delicately twirling it. "Oh, Kai," I murmured over and over again, staring at the ring, at the feather, at the ring, at the feather…

I felt his fingertips underneath my chin and looked up at him, into his dark brown eyes. "Karen," he whispered softly, so low that the others, who were no doubt still watching but making slight noise, a few of them having run off to alert the townspeople of the big news, couldn't hear. "I love you."

I couldn't have torn my eyes away from his even if I'd wanted to. A million thoughts were rushing through my head. In a split-second, I heard Jack's voice saying the same thing to me, and I heard myself saying it back, but in a flash it was gone and I was lost again in the depth of Kai's eyes.

A smile crept onto my lips as I answered in a low, gentle whisper, "I love you, too."

He smiled back at me and bent his neck down until our cheeks touched. "I want us to spend the rest of our lives together," he whispered softly in my ear. "I love you so much."

"Kai," I stammered, trying not to ruin the moment. "Me, too…I love you, too."

He pulled his head back, and I felt his hand on the back of my own as he pulled me toward him. My lips met his, and we kissed.

oOoOoOoOoOo

I slept at Ann's. Well, actually, no sleeping was done until we had talked about the wedding, the romance, and the future for three hours.

When we woke up at eleven the next morning, we knew the New Year's Festival was probably still going on in the Square, so we dressed quickly and started out. I, clad in loose, hole-spotted jeans, a tee shirt, a hoodie, and half-shoes, walked beside my best friend, dressed near identically, as the two of us strolled the dirt and brick streets of our hometown, on our way to the town square to see what was going on.

Again and again I kept reminding myself: _I'm engaged! Oh, my gosh, I'm engaged!_ I couldn't stop looking down at my ring, at my beautiful, shimmering, all-mine ring. Still in a state of shock and even disbelief, the thoughts startled me. One day in the near future I would _finally_ walk down the aisle and face this man…We would say our vows…He would slip a golden band onto my finger…He would kiss me, the bride, and we would be husband and wife…I still didn't know what to think.

Ann's voice interrupted my thoughts as we approached the stairway to the town square. "Well…here goes. No telling what might be going on up there." She was right. A riot of various voices and shouts could be heard from our position at the foot of the steps. The New Year's Festival was known for being the loudest, rudest, crudest, and most obnoxious festival known to Flowerbud.

Already the unbecoming scent of alcohol had found my nostrils. It was not even noon yet, and I knew that at the top of the stairs we would find a crowd of energetic drunken men.

"Ann," I said, hesitating once we had climbed halfway up. "I don't think we should be here."

Ann looked at me weirdly. "We've come to this thing every year since we were like, twelve… Just because we're not really into liquor doesn't mean we can't enjoy ourselves. The mayor will probably put on some music, and there might be some dancing! Come on, it'll be fine."

"No, I just, um…" I let out a breath and a puff of visible air rose from my mouth. "What if my dad's here?"

"We can avoid him easily enough," she assured me. "He'll be too busy anyway."

"What if…what if…" I cleared my throat as if it was the reason I couldn't spit out the words. "What if…" _Um, okay, come on, voice, this would be a great time for you to kick in…_ I cleared my throat again.

"Karen!" Ann took me by the shoulders. "Are you all right?"

"Yeah, I just…" A million thoughts were running through my head. The main one was _What if Kai is here?_ And I couldn't find an answer out of any of the other nine hundred ninety-nine thousand, nine hundred ninety-nine thoughts. I didn't want to blow the whole wedding just because I happened to see Kai drunk…He had promised! He had promised never to drink again…

It only took Ann a few more seconds to read my mind. "Oh, goddess, let's go," she said immediately, grabbing my arm and leading me back down the stairs.

Once we had reached the bottom, our feet again on solid ground, I was startled to see my fiancé walking toward me with Cliff at his side. I sensed Ann looking at me, but I did not return her glance, my eyes fixed on Kai.

He was like Ann in that it only took him a few seconds to read my expression. Instantly he stopped walking, about five yards away from me, and held his arms out in such a way that invited me into them. I ran to him and buried myself in the depths of his now off-season winter coat, my arms clinging to him. He pulled me toward himself by the small of my back and I felt a kiss being planted atop my head. "It's ok," he whispered reassuringly. "I don't break promises."

I only sniffed a little and squeezed my eyes shut to close in the onslaught of tears that had threatened to spill. "I'm sorry, I just…I mean I don't mean to overreact, it's just that I…"

"Shh…" he soothed, rocking back and forth. "I know."

Something felt wrong. Kai was perfect, and this was a perfect moment, but something was just wrong. In my mind was a sore spot, a tiny voice that whispered the sheer _wrongness_ of this moment. Was it Kai, or was it just me? Was it the topic of the conversation or maybe the way it was being discussed? Did it have something to do with the change in our relationship?

I chose to ignore the sore spot, and brushing it aside was easier than I anticipated. I supposed it to simply be an early case of cold feet.

When Kai and I parted, Ann and Cliff were nowhere in sight. I sniffed, scooped a few tears out from under my eyes, and chuckled softly. "I wonder where they went?"

"I don't know, but do you want to go somewhere?" Kai's ungloved hand reached for the small of my back as we started walking down the brick path that bisected Upper Flowerbud Village.

"Where? Everything is closed for New Year's," I replied, leaning against him, the side of my head finding his shoulder.

Slowly we strolled toward the crossroads. "Well, there's always the beach, or the river, or the pond, or the mountain…We could do hot springs."

"Ooh, hot springs…" I contemplated. _Maybe too intense,_ came a message from the sore spot. "Or just the beach sounds good…maybe we could just sit?"

"_Or_ we could just sit at home."

"Sounds good," I breathed.

The house was warm and comfortable…and empty. The couch beckoned us with its deep, soft cushions and its convenient location before the television. After flicking on the light and the TV, the two of us plopped down in the living room, kicking our shoes off onto the rug. "Hey, look, the parade's on," I said, snuggling against the arm rest with my feet pointed in Kai's direction.

"So it is," Kai answered, leaning back against the sofa.

"I wonder where Ann and Cliff are…" I murmured idly, somewhat bored, my eyes on the TV screen.

Kai's voice was sly and mischievous as he crawled toward me. "We're all alone!" There was an element of humor to his motions, so I laughed aloud and turned my entire body to face him, my back against the armrest. His smile grew huge as he went in for a gaping-mouthed kiss.

"Whoa!" I pulled away slightly, my nose still pushing against his as we breathed into each other's mouths. "That was…different."

He nodded a little, and I laughed as his grin continued to grow. "You like?"

I bobbed my head from side to side jokingly. "Hm…a little."

Again his mouth pressed against mine in a longer, deeper kiss. It had been a while since we had kissed in this way. His right arm supported his weight on the couch so he was not fully atop me, and his left hand held the side of my face. My hand touched his shoulder somewhat protectively.

I sensed my pulse quickening and my air supply dwindling. My adrenaline was high and rushing, my abdomen tight with anticipation. "Kai," I finally gasped. "Too much…Just too much."

"What?" he whispered, breathing heavily.

I felt dirty and guilty. This was like a scene in one of those movies where both the people know they are pushing it too far but neither of them can stop. I wanted to end this now before it got to the level where it couldn't be stopped.

But as his lips again met mine, I didn't know what a little more could hurt. We weren't having sex or anything. Just kissing. This was fine. We were smiling. This was harmless. This was fun! Just a game. _Just a game_.

The arm that had been supporting him had relaxed without my even noticing. His body was closer to mine. Things were becoming slightly more intense, but it was still all right. Our clothes were still on. We were just enjoying the moment…connecting.

I felt his lips leave mine and the warmth of his body disappear, and by the time I had opened my eyes, I was in his arms. He carried me to his bedroom and laid me out atop the comforter. As he left me to close and…gulp…lock the door, the inside of my head became deafeningly loud.

The words _oh, my gosh_ were echoing ever-so-loudly in my head. I tried to close out the sound with assurances of, "It's alright, we're just having a little fun," and "If things get out-of-hand, I can always put it to a stop."

But as he returned to me unsmiling, I couldn't _not_ speak up. "Kai, we can't do this. This isn't right. I don't do this. We've never done it, and we're not supposed to yet. This can't happen, and we can't…"

"Karen!" he said.

I sat up and supported myself with my arms.

He sat beside me on the bed and cracked a small smile. "It's ok. The couch was just too small and uncomfortable."

My eyes narrowed as I searched his expression. His eyes were shallower than usual. "Then open the door," I challenged him.

_His_ eyes narrowed in response. "How 'bout I just unlock it?"

"How 'bout you just open it?" I felt powerful and very smart as he surrendered, walking towards the door to open it.

But the good feeling disappeared when the door swung open to reveal my cousin standing outside. It was clear by the way he was standing that he had been about to open the door and come inside when Kai opened it. The situation shifted faster than I'd ever known a situation could shift. There Kai was, looking messy and breathing hard, and me, of course, laying out on the bed looking about the same. Cliff stood erect. The atmosphere dipped to a level of seriousness I hadn't experienced since that time on the sofa when Kai and I had almost gone all the way.

I was off the bed in a split second and making my way toward him. Cliff's eyes were stiff and unmoving, showing no emotion. He seemed frozen as I approached him. What I was going to say or do, I didn't know, but I just had to be alone with him. I had a feeling I had done something very bad, something very wrong, even though nothing technically sexual had happened.

Standing inches away from my cousin, I stared into his eyes with guilty tears rising up in my own. His expression spelled shame and disappointment, even disgust. I didn't know what to do, so I turned and said Kai's name. "Could you just…leave us alone for a second?"

I didn't take the time to read Kai's face, but I could hear in his voice that he was upset as he answered, "Yeah, sure…I'll be…I don't know where I'll be, but I'll be back soon." And he left. We heard the front door of the house open and close, and I knew that conviction was in the near future.

"What should I say, Karen?" Cliff asked me, his voice barely audible, softer than a whisper, but still containing as many ounces of repulsion as it possibly could.

My tears began to spill, trickling slowly down my cheeks as I tried to wipe them away and muster up a voice. "I…I don't…I don't…" Breath was not coming easily.

"Well, I don't know either." His voice was louder now, and I didn't think that was a good thing. His eyes were angry. "Would you like to tell me what exactly happened?"

Actually, no, but I could see I had no choice. "It started on the couch. We were just kissing, just messing around. Kai said the couch was too small, so we changed over to the bedroom, and he had the door closed, but I told him to open it because I had no intention of…"

"Of what?" His voice contained enough force to be characterized as yelling, but it wasn't quite as loud. "Of what?"

He was really going to make me say it. "Of having sex. I wasn't going to do it, so I made him open the door." My justification sounded pretty good, but even I wasn't satisfied. There was still this nagging, gnawing feeling of shame hanging over my head. I felt like a sleaze, like I had been used although I technically hadn't.

"Did you really think the bed was a good idea?" These were good questions.

"N-n-n…" I stammered, tears falling. "No, I didn't."

"So are you going to pass the buck to Kai and try to make me believe that he was pushing you into having sex?"

"No, it wasn't his fault any more than it was mine. I don't think he even sees the bad in what we were playing with, so it's p-p-probably more my fault than his." I tried to stop crying, but the air was welling up inside of me and hiccups and sobs were all that would come out.

"What did you _think_ was gonna happen on the bed?"

At first, I didn't know how to answer this question. Had I even been thinking? Yes, I had to have been. I had known from the second he laid me out on the bedspread that it wasn't a good thing. I had known that sex was the next thing on the agenda…on _his_ agenda. Why hadn't I argued? I could have easily gotten out of the situation, but for some reason, I had settled for opening the door. After sputtering for a few seconds, I was finally able to answer. "I knew that…I knew that sex might happen if we stayed on the bed. But in my mind, I don't know, it's like the key word was _might_… I wasn't going to let it go that far. We were just gonna kiss some more, and if things were pushed too far, I would stop it. I wasn't anticipating sex."

Cliff's eyes were moist but still rigid and unmoving as he stared me down. I involuntarily emitted another short sob. I felt like a harlot, a whore, a slut, a tramp. I felt like I was on trial, and I knew it was rightly so. My cousin's voice came softer to me. "When you say 'If things were pushed too far,' do you mean, 'if he pushed things too far?'"

I really didn't think this was Kai's fault. I didn't know why, because he _knew_ I didn't want to have sex, and he _knew_ he shouldn't have set me up for something I didn't want, but I felt like all the guilt belonged to me. "This wasn't Kai's fault," I stated simply, defending my fiancé.

"Oh, I agree," Cliff said. "Did you know that God says not to be yoked together with a nonbeliever?"

I hung my head, feeling like an idiot. "No, I didn't."

When I looked up, though, Cliff's head was hanging. Finally he looked up into my eyes, a tear falling from his own, as he said, "I'm sorry. I'm in no place to judge you."

But he was! Through my tears and hiccups I showed him the confusion I was feeling. "What?"

"I'm sorry," he repeated, but we both knew I had heard him the first time. "I'm overreacting. I know you didn't actually go the whole way and I believe you when you say you had no intention of going. I guess I just…I just thought you were above this. I didn't think you'd give him that much before he'd given you himself, his commitment."

"I thought I was above it, too, Cliff," I answered through a loud sob, my voice shaking violently. "I shouldn't have done that, especially now that I'm with God." I didn't even want to think about how far it might have gotten should Cliff not have showed up in the doorway.

My cousin stepped toward me and wrapped his arms around my trembling frame. I flung my arms around his neck and sobbed. I couldn't believe the mistake I'd almost made, the huge, unforgettable, irreversible, stupid mistake.

I sobbed because I didn't know what I was supposed to do now. Was Kai right for me? He wasn't a believer. Did I want to be with a guy who would play me like that? I couldn't believe how easily he'd gotten me into his bedroom. This was all my fault; if I could've just controlled myself then none of this would be happening.

oOoOoOoOoOo

An hour and a half later, after not hearing from or seeing Kai, I was at Jack's house with Cliff and Popuri. I wanted to know more about this proscription of being "yoked" together with a nonbeliever, and Jack thought Popuri might, too. So the four of us sat in his living room sipping soft drinks and passing around a can of sour cream and onion Pringles.

"Elli said she'd make it as soon as she has a free moment," Popuri said, taking a seat next to Cliff on the couch and tucking her hands into the arms of her sweatshirt. Her words were slightly hindered by the round lollipop in her mouth.

"Where is she?" I asked, stretching out on the floor and rolling onto my stomach, pulling down the bottom of my hoodie and resting my head on folded arms.

"At the square," the pink-haired beauty answered with a small sigh, "controlling the chaos, somewhat. You know, she and Jeff went there in the first place to run the booth, but at the end of the day, the booth is empty of all cake and Elli and Jeff are forced to help out with the cleanup."

"The cleanup?" Cliff questioned. "It's only like, two."

"Yeah, around mid-afternoon they just start cleaning up as the mess is made." I sighed and swiftly glance around the room at my friends.

"Kinda like shoveling the sidewalk while it's still snowing?" Jack joked. He didn't know about the situation I had previously shared with Kai, and I wasn't planning on telling him. I didn't see what profit or good would come from its publicity, even if it was only shared with Jack, a close friend.

I felt burdened and disheartened, like a little kid who can't find her dog…Sad, lost, emotional, obligated, unknowing, and vulnerable. I knew my engagement was in jeopardy;

in fact, my entire relationship with Kai. I had come so far with this man; what if I lost it all on a single bad judgment?

But now, I'd discovered that it is against God's will for one of His own to be "yoked" together with someone who has yet to accept Him. It looked like that meant either to break it off with Kai or get him saved as soon as possible.

"Alright, let's look at this," Jack said, swallowing a mouthful of chips. "We're at II Corinthians 6, starting at verse 14."

I flipped through the thin pages of my Bible until I reached the passage. Before Jack started to read the verses aloud, I glanced up at the verses that came before, being careful not to take the Word out of context. Verses eleven through thirteen read, "We have spoken freely to you, Corinthians, and opened wide our hearts to you. We are not withholding our affection from you, but you are withholding yours from us. As a fair exchange – I speak as to my children – open wide your hearts also." I stopped there and listened as Jack read the next few verses.

He cleared his throat and clearly read, "'Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.' That's pretty clear right there, but it gets more interesting as we continue looking. We're in the middle of verse 14 now. 'For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?' Verses 15 through 16: 'What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people."' Verses 17 and 18 now: '"Therefore come out from them and be separate," says the Lord. "Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters," says the Lord Almighty.'"

A tear dropped from my eye to the pages of my Bible. I was ashamed and felt like I had betrayed my God. Looking up at Jack as he continued to speak, I wiped at my dripping eye makeup.

"That's pretty deep stuff, huh? Look at verse fourteen again. It just blatantly states the matter of the fact, right off the bat. 'Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.' That pretty much sums up this entire passage of Scripture, but the rest helps us to understand a little better. What do you all think about this stuff?"

Popuri immediately spoke up. "I think it's more important than it reads. Like, the way it's written doesn't really sound that vital, but when you think about it, it has to be. I guess it's kind of like a father not wanting his children hanging around bad kids."

"Well, I wouldn't consider 'hanging around' and 'being yoked together' to be quite the same thing," Cliff said, shifting so he sat atop his foot on the sofa. "I think this is really just talking about your core group of close friends and your husband or wife or boyfriend or girlfriend." He paused. "Jack?"

"That's what I get from it," Jack answered, using his finger to keep his place between the pages of his Bible. "Karen?"

I nodded silently. He gave me a questioning look, and I waved my hand in response, suggesting that we talk later.

"Okay," Jack continued. "So, why? Why does God insist that it be this way?"

Again, Popuri was first to speak. "Well, it says right there in um…" She looked down at her new Bible. "In the middle of verse 16, it says, 'For we are the temple of the living God.' So I see where God's coming from. I mean, if He's inside of us like He is, then He should get a pretty decent say in who we associate ourselves with, or yoke together with or whatever. And since He is our Father, we are His kids, so you can kinda look at it in a real-life parent-child scenario. Who would you pick for your kids to yoke together with? Other kids you know, right? Good kids who love and respect you and who will love and respect your kid, right?"

She looked at the three of us, and our jaws dropped at the profound wisdom that had just come forth from the mouth of a newborn Christian. "Well, Popuri," Cliff said, smacking his hand against the top of his Bible in disbelief, "I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head."

Jack let out a laugh, and I smiled. "Yep," Jack agreed, "I think you pretty much did."

I sighed and understood. The wrongness of my actions registered in my mind, but I was still in the dark as to what I was supposed to do about it.

Jack and Cliff wrapped up the brief Bible study, concluding that Elli would simply not be able to make any of it but that they would touch base with her on the subject, and the group of us went our separate ways.

Jack wanted to speak with me, but I told him I had to get going. I really did have to get home, but I really didn't want to explain my whole predicament to him. Of course, I knew that eventually I would, but now was not the time, place, or mood.

Cliff was headed for home, and I wanted to be alone, so I strolled down the crossroads, past the Green Ranch, and down the hill onto the sandy, frosty beach. Even wrapped in my hoodie, I shivered. The damp-with-ice sand stuck to the bottoms of my jeans and gathered on the soles of my shoes as I walked slowly, sadly down the shoreline.

I thought about things I had from the Bible with Cliff in the past few weeks. Recently in one of our frequent, deep conversations, Cliff had said to me, "Times get hard and different, but there's one thing that will never change…and that's His love for us. The book of Psalms says that the greatest sacrifice we can give to God is a broken spirit. Complete surrender. I've always thought that the most beautiful sound in God's ears would be our desperate cries for Him. So many times in the past few years, as my families have struggled, I have fallen to my face and cried, 'Lord, Lord, Lord, I need you!' in the utmost desperation. Totally broken and confused…"

So as I reached the edge of the dock, I fell to my knees, tears streaming, voice shaking, heart throbbing, and cried, "Lord, I need You now!" Urgently, I prayed to Him, my voice whispering for lack of strength. "Lord, Lord, I need You now…Lord, please help me, I need You now, Lord, please…help me…" Repetitive was my prayer, but broken was my spirit.


	26. And Then It Happened

And Then It Happened

I woke up slowly. My pillow was still damp, and I felt dried tears on the sides of my face. Sliding gradually out of bed, I felt my muscles stiffen unsettlingly. Last night had not been restful at all.

As I dragged my bare feet to the bathroom, I clicked on the radio. "It's the second day of spring," said the announcer, "and we're already seeing some sun in the Flowerbud area. Today's low temperature is at forty-five degrees, with the high at seventy."

Gazing at the sad image in the mirror as a song began to play, I rubbed my eyes and ran a hand through my tangled, unwashed hair, moaning in disgust with myself. I was completely miserable, and it showed.

I turned the radio off and stripped down for a warm shower. As the water ran down my body and the shampoo cleansed my nasty hair, I prayed aloud. "God, I don't know what to do. Please help me. You're the only One who understands this. Is Kai the one I'm supposed to be with? Is he sorry about what happened? Please show me at least a little bit of the plan You have for me…I'm so lost, and so confused, Lord." I groaned and again fought tears. "With whom is my heart?"

When I was all clean and fully awake, I got out the shower and brushed my teeth. I looked a little better in the mirror. After dressing myself in jeans and a plain old tee shirt, I absent-mindedly began putting on my everyday jewelry. As I picked up my pretty engagement ring I hesitated, then slipped it into my pocket.

oOoOoOoOoOo

It was quiet in Flowerbud Village. As I idly strolled the narrow paths of the lower section of town, my footsteps and the sounds of crickets were all I heard. It was early morning, foggy, gray, and chilly. With arms crossed I gazed at the buildings as I passed them.

The potion shop dealer's dog barked at me, then ran up to pant and drool all over my jeans. I petted its head inattentively, then ruffled his ears. Jiro seemed satisfied, running back again to his home.

I heard the opening and closing of a front door ahead of me and looked up to see Anella, the midwife, stepping outside her tiny house for a breath of morning air. "Karen," she greeted me with a light smile.

"Good morning," I answered, my disposition dull as I approached her. "How are you?"

"I'm doing well," she replied. As she looked into my eyes, I knew that she knew my trouble. "Yourself?"

I started to say "fine," but shook my head and responded, "Not so good."

"I heard you've been engaged," Anella said, somewhat enthusiastically. "Congratulations."

I nodded and tried to smile. "Thank you, Anella."

A few seconds passed. She stared into my eyes as though examining my mind. As I returned her gaze, I felt she understood me. Finally, she reached out to touch my arm and said, "You're afraid he's not the one."

I inhaled shakily and couldn't find my voice as I fought my emotions. Letting out a large breath, I shrugged and sniffled.

She never broke eye contact. "Come inside," she said.

Little May lay sleeping on a small bed against the wall. I heard the bubbling of brewing coffee and the ticking of a grandfather clock. The house was bigger on the inside than it looked on the outside, but cozy and warm and welcoming. There was a small square table in the center of the one-room home, and as Anella sat, she beckoned for me to sit with her. "Where's your ring?" she asked me, speaking soft and low so as not to wake the little girl.

"It's in my pocket," I whispered back.

"Why?"

"Because I… I just… I don't know if I really want to marry him."

She asked me if I wanted coffee as she got up to pour herself a cup, and I accepted. "What's not to marry?" she queried, after sitting again.

As she slowly sipped her steaming coffee, I cupped my hands around my own cup and stared into the rising steam. The liquid was still circling, mixing in the cream. I watched and wondered. What wasn't to marry about Kai? "We almost had sex yesterday."

Nothing surprised Anella. "Not something you were planning on doing, eh?"

"No," I replied plainly, my eyes never leaving the swirling coffee. "It wasn't."

"You say 'almost.'" The old lady took another small sip of her drink, and I could feel her eyes on me. I looked up into them and found comfort. "Why only 'almost?'"

I blinked slowly a few times. "I made him open the door. My cousin was there. Kai was upset, I could tell. He says we only went to his bedroom because the couch wasn't big enough for us to just mess around…but I think he wanted more. I don't think he… I don't think he was going to…" I couldn't get the words out.

"You don't think he was going to stop there," Anella finished my thought.

I nodded. "And I think I would've stopped him, had it gotten too far… But there's no way I can know that, and I'm just thinking about what might've happened if Cliff hadn't been at the door right that second. Even if the door had been opened… things still could've happened." I looked into Anella's eyes and wiped at a tear before it could run down my face.

"Have you talked to Kai?"

"No."

"Why's that?"

"I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

I felt my lip quivering and tried to steady it. But when my fingers began to tremble and my nose began to run, I knew there was nothing I could do to control it. My right hand clasped the fingers of my left, and I bit my lip hard. "I don't want to break up with him."

"But you don't want to marry him."

My eyes stung. I restrained the tears and wiped at my wet nose. "No. I don't. Not now."

"Ever?"

I blinked hard and felt the moisture on my eyelashes. "I don't know, Anella."

The wise old woman leaned forward slowly in her chair, reached across the small table, and held my quaking hands. I was trying as hard as I could not to cry. "It's all right, dear. It will all be all right."

But I didn't believe her. I didn't even think she meant what she said. I looked at her and took a deep breath. "That's not good enough, Anella. Please help me. I don't know what to do."

I saw a hint of pain behind her eyes, and then it was gone. It was almost like there was something she had to say, but she knew she couldn't say it. Her eyes left mine for an instant as Little May stirred in her slumber, but they immediately returned. "Do you love him?"

I was silent. "I told him I did. When he proposed. He said he loved me, and I said I loved him, too."

"But do you?"

I looked down at my coffee, and it was still. "I think I do."

The woman released my hands and leaned back in her seat, drinking of her coffee. "What do you love about him?"

I smiled a little. "I love his love and respect for me. I love all the fun I have with him. I love his eyes. I love his voice. I love his thoughtfulness and his willingness to please me."

"What is there about him that you don't want to marry?"

I thought. "I don't want to marry his lust. I don't want to marry his kisses."

"His kisses?" Anella actually looked somewhat amused.

My tears faded into nothing as my mind was calmed by the elderly lady's warm face. Squinting my eyes and tilting my head, I formed words for what I was thinking about Kai's lovely kisses. "Don't get me wrong; he's a great, great kisser. Like, great. But we just kiss so often and so intensely and for such a long time that…"

"It loses its passion."

I nodded, deep in thought. "Not all the time, though. Sometimes I really love it, but other times I just want him to hold me, which he's great about, but…" I was lost, trapped, and confused in my own words. "Okay, what I really mean is: He knows when to hold me, and he holds me at all the right times. But he sometimes kisses me at the wrong times, or with the wrong…feel. Like when I just want a goodnight kiss, he'll like, engulf me, and…"

"Okay, moving on." Anella's eyes sparkled, and I smiled. "What else?"

"I don't want to marry…" I mustered the guts. "I don't want to marry a nonbeliever."

"A nonbeliever."

"A non-Christian."

"A non-Christian." As Anella repeated my statement, her eyes grew misty. "You are a Christian."

She did not speak as though it was a question, but I nodded in response.

"You are a Christian, as Joe was a Christian." She was staring into nothing, it seemed. Her old blue eyes were moist and distant. I let her sit in silence for several seconds. Finally she spoke, "Did you know that May's mother was a Christian before she died?"

I shook my head. "I didn't." I had never known May's mother.

"Zack, my son, had forgotten it after she died, but now that Joe's grandson has begun spreading it again, he's remembered. He's been studying for two seasons now."

"We pray he'll accept salvation soon," I told her boldly.

Anella looked at me with questions in her eyes. "Salvation," she said. And as she repeated it, the conversation quickly shifted. "Salvation."

oOoOoOoOoOo

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed me tightly. As he picked me up off my feet I laughed aloud and secretly enjoyed the affection in his antics. "Oh, Jack, I'm so happy!" I cried, unable to control my grin.

Jack set me again on my feet and slightly stepped back to make eye contact as he spoke. "I'm happy, too," he told me, a smile on his face. For almost an entire second, I swear I saw something different in his bright brown eyes. But he continued as the unusualness faded, "I mean, Karen!"

I laughed for no reason, perhaps just at the vocalization of my name.

"Karen, she's a village elder! This is such a…such a breakthrough!" He smiled, and his expression became softer. "And I have to admit, that in even in my deepest faith…I never thought we'd reach an elder."

"He has, Jack," I told him softly, wrapping my arms around his neck. As he embraced me around the waist, I tilted my head against his and breathed.

I loved this.

But I felt wrong. "Jack," I said, pulling back. "There's something you don't know."

"What's wrong?" His face darkened. In my peripheral vision I saw his hand rise to touch my face but fall before it made contact.

Looking into his eyes, I again felt ashamed of my actions. Even knowing Jack would never look down on me for my mistakes, or even come close to judging me, waves of guilt washed over me as I stared into his eyes, into his heart.

Commanding myself not to cry, yet again, I told him of my trouble. I told him everything. Remaining silent until I was finished, he never looked away. "So that's why Cliff and I wanted to have that Bible study," I sniffed with a shaking voice. "Because I messed up, and now everything is so completely…just all screwed up, and – "

He pulled me close and murmured softly against my ear. "Oh, Karen, I'm so sorry… I'm sorry."

I buried myself in his arms and took deep breath after deep breath, battling what had become my enemy: tears. "I just don't know what to do," I said, for what must've been the thirtieth time that morning.

"Here, we'll talk," he said, stepping away, towards his new kitchen. "What do you want to eat for breakfast?"

oOoOoOoOoOo

We sat at his kitchen table and agreed to speak complete honesty. We decided advice was no good if it was not given in honesty.

I really wasn't surprised when the first question Jack asked me was, "Do you love him?" It had been a question of Anella's, too.

"I think I do, Jack, but I don't know." I chewed my bacon and savored the taste.

"Is the non-Christian thing what's mainly holding you back?"

"I'd say so."

Swallowing a mouthful of egg and cheese, he replied, "So it looks like your choices are: A, talk to him about God and then marry him, B, marry him and then talk to him about God, or C…"

"Break if off." The words stung me. I lost my appetite and dropped my fork.

Jack saw the pain in my eyes and didn't ignore it. "Can you see yourself breaking up with him?"

I winced. It was like my relationship with Kai had become a part of me. Breaking up with him seemed like sawing off my left arm. "I guess I could if I really tried, but… in all honesty…"

"You don't want to try."

Sighing in antipathy of myself, I answered him. "Right."

"Karen," he said, taking a drink of milk to clear his mouth. "Just tell me what's in your head right this second."

I began without hesitation. "I don't want to marry him. Not today, not next summer, and I don't know that I ever will. Even if he did get saved, I don't think I'll ever look at him the same. Jack, yesterday, in his room, things were going to keep rolling. We had both agreed just weeks ago that we were going with purity until marriage. I'd told him that's what I wanted, and he had agreed. I thought he respected that decision and was going to live by it, but I guess I thought wrong. And the fact that I haven't spoken with him since then hasn't helped this decision at all. It's not like I went to him to talk to him about it, but he didn't exactly seek me out, or else we'd have discussed this already." I paused and inhaled, feeling a thin layer of my blanket of stress being stripped away as I vented to Jack. My eyes wandered absently as I kept speaking every thought that entered my mind. "I mean, I don't even know if he's sorry. I don't even know if it's crossed his mind again. I just don't even know.

"But, Jack, breaking up with him seems so scary. I mean…we've been together for a whole year… Our anniversary is next week, on the day of the Sowing Festival." I shuddered. "And I don't even want to talk about that, because that day is the day we celebrate the first day we made out on the beach, and uggggh, that is a tired topic in my mind."

I saw Jack grimace and stare in confusion, but quickly decided that the afore mentioned was not important.

"The point is that it's been a _year._ I've spent a whole year with this man, but honestly…I never anticipated marriage until just recently. Maybe…" Tears began to form. "Maybe he was just a boyfriend, Jack." From the corners of my eyes they began to roll out, streaming down my face with a train of more behind them. "Maybe he was _just a boyfriend._"

And all the thoughts of all the good times I had shared with Kai began to play like a motion picture in my mind. Jack was startled when I began to narrate them. "Oh, we used to sit on the couch and just snuggle and watch TV… He would play with my hair, and I would lean on his chest and just listen to him breathe. We would go the beach all the time and swim together, then go up on the shore and just sit and talk and laugh… Ann and Gray and Cliff and Elli and you would come hang out with us at the bakery. And everyone knew we were together, and I was just so proud that I had found someone to be with." I cried and cried as I spoke. Jack didn't move; he just listened. "And we'd clean the house together and laugh about my father's anger and my mother's shyness. He bought me a locket for Christmas, and it has this adorable picture of the two of us kissing, but I guess I'll have to give it back to him because…I just…" Sobbing uncontrollably, I was determined to spit out the words. "Because we just can't be together, Jack! We just can't be together! It's over, Jack, I can't believe it's over…"

I bent over the table to cry into my folded arms, and Jack calmly stood and walked around the table, taking my hand and pulling me into his arms. I sobbed into his chest with deeper sorrow than I'd ever felt. He held me tight, and I buried myself in his warm, soft sweatshirt.

I forgot everything except the sadness in my heart and the memories of Kai, and wanted nothing more than to cry the last tears over him.


End file.
